Chapter 24
Dax
O ne thousand dollars?
One thousand dollars?
What the hell is Miles thinking? But judging from the look on his face, he has no idea either, and for a second, I think he’ll bolt.
Then his expression shifts to panic, like he’s about to have another attack.
The theater is eerily quiet, everyone trying to make sense of what just happened.
Even Troy hasn’t said anything yet, and Troy is usually really good about keeping things steady and going with the flow.
I can see how big Miles’s eyes are, the way he’s fidgeting, his surprised and frantic gaze never leaving me, and all I want is to go to him, to hold him, to tell him he didn’t have to pay for me because he’s the only person I want right now anyway.
I take a step forward, and he gives me a small shake of his head.
My heart is trying to beat its way out of my chest, everything sounding echoey.
If it’s like this for me, it must be even worse for him, but I don’t want to make a scene.
No good will come of me going to Miles and drawing even more attention to him in the middle of the damn auction.
Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.
“Wow. Leave it to Dax to be our most popular bachelor. Did you pay Miles to do that?” Troy jokes.
“No. I’m just that good.” I try to smile when it’s killing me not to go grab Miles and kiss his stupid face. Why did he tell me to do this auction if he was going to bid on me?
“One thousand dollars going once, twice, sold to Miles Tanner!”
The second the words are out of Troy’s mouth, Miles is rushing toward the door, Tatum going after him.
Um, what the fuck is that? Why does Tatum think Miles needs him? I mean, am I glad he has a friend? Yes. But I also want to be the one by his side right now.
I give the crowd a fake smile, trying to play it off as if my heart isn’t about to burst, my mind all confused, and…all I want is Miles. To figure out what the hell is going on with him…with us…and to make sure Tatum knows he’s mine.
The two of them have fucked before. Miles told me about it, and I’m not the jealous type, but no one has ever gotten to me the way Miles does. No one gets me all mixed up or rattles me because no one has ever mattered like him before.
“Dude! What the fuck was that?” Teddy asks me.
“Holy shit. Miles fucking Tanner just bid a thousand dollars to date you!” Andy adds.
Yes, yes he did.
“First the hooking up, now this. Is there something more going on with the two of you?” Leo asks, and backstage is starting to feel claustrophobic.
I shake off his question, hoping they’ll leave me alone and not push me on it. I have zero interest in standing here and discussing all this with them, so I keep trying to work my way through the group of people, the sound from Troy onstage muffled yet somehow too loud.
“What’s up with you and my stepbro?” Damien asks, and the question makes me stumble.
“Brady?” Nothing is up with us. I don’t even know him well. “Nothing. It’s an auction, and he bid, same as Miles. I need some air.”
That just leads to them questioning me about Miles again.
It makes me irate that Miles didn’t even start that fire, yet people will forever hold it against him.
Even if they knew the truth, I’m not sure if that will ever change.
It’s like all some people want is to punish others and not give them the space to grow and change.
How can anything get better if we hold his mistakes against him forever?
Thankfully, they let me go, and I head to the back door leading outside. I don’t know if that’s where Miles went, but I’m assuming it is.
I shove open the back door and rush outside, pulling a deep breath into my lungs.
It only takes me about three point five seconds to spot them—Miles and Tatum over by the back edge of the parking lot, which abuts a wooded area.
Miles is pacing, and this protective instinct fills me, propelling me toward them.
Miles doesn’t need me to protect him, especially not from Tatum, who’s been a good friend to him despite all his troubles, but again, I want to be the one with him.
I want…more, and that’s a whole-ass mindfuck I don’t have time or care to dissect right now.
Miles bends over, hands on his knees, clearly trying to catch his breath. Tatum is close but not touching him, seems unsure what to do. I had some experience, so it was easier for me.
As if feeling me there before he can see me, Miles turns toward me, eyes locking with mine. The panicked expression is still there, like he’s trying not to freak out, to hold it together for Tatum.
“Hey,” I say with a smile, trying not to sound like I’m freaking out too. “You know, if you wanted to take me on a date, all you had to do was ask.”
“Fuck you,” he manages to get out, not angrily, but not fully like he’s playing either. No, that’s not right. It’s clear he’s trying to be light and playful but having a hard time pulling it off.
“Breathe with me, Miles. Deep breath in.” I press my palm to his cheek to give him some skin-to-skin contact, then breathe with him. Miles obeys, pulling air into his lungs. “Now deep breath out.” We exhale together. “What do you see?”
“You,” he says, and damned if my heart doesn’t shoot to the fucking sky.
“What do you smell?”
“You.”
“What do you feel?” I brush my finger against his cheek, my other hand finding a home on his hip.
“You.”
Without turning away from Miles, I tell Tatum, “I have this under control.”
“I was just trying to help.”
“I know, but we’re good,” I tell him, then to Miles, “Breathe with me again. Focus on me.”
He nods, his features beginning to relax as I keep contact with him, the two of us breathing in sync.
Tatum stands there for a moment—surprised? Maybe protective of his friend?—but then I hear footsteps receding.
“That’s it. We got this.” I lead Miles to one of the curb stops at the head of a parking spot, and we sit down on it together.
I don’t want Miles to have to deal with anxiety or panic attacks.
I don’t want anything to be hard on him.
He’s had too much of that in his life. But I also can’t describe what it does to me that he trusts me, that I can help, that being with me calms him, even if it’s only because I know how to help him focus.
He’s stiff when I wrap an arm around him, but then he relaxes against me, head on my shoulder, letting me in. I give him some time, knowing I’ll have to be the one to start the conversation, so when I think he’s doing better, I say, “If you didn’t want me to do the auction, you could have told me.”
“I didn’t know I didn’t want you to do it until it was time. And then it got even worse because Brady clearly wanted you, and he’s so fucking perfect, everything someone like you should have…”
“I don’t want him. Maybe perfect isn’t my thing.”
He pulls away and looks at me, making me realize how that sounded.
“You know what I mean. I’m not saying you’re not perfect—”
“I’m not.”
“No one is.” I shrug. “He’s not my type, though. I like assholes with a secret heart of gold who would risk the wrath of the law and the frats to be there for a friend…and also has a great dick, knows how to work it, and makes me want to be his good boy.”
That pulls a small smile out of him, like I hoped it would.
“Even if I come with red flags? Because I really wanted to beat his ass for even looking at you,” he admits.
Is that healthy? Probably not. Does it make my dick twitch? Abso-fucking-lutely.
“But you didn’t. You bid a thousand dollars on me instead.”
He groans, rubbing a hand over his face. Yeah, I can’t believe he did that either.
“I guess I own you now,” he says.
“You already did. Want to know a secret?”
“I think I’m due that, at the very least,” he jokes, and I chuckle.
“You’re the one I wanted to go on a date with anyway.
” Maybe I didn’t realize it until I was standing on that stage, but it’s true.
After last night, hell, the past few weeks, spending time with him, the way he helped when I was feeling like shit because of my dad…
the way he fucks me… I’ve been falling for him for a while.
“So you didn’t have to waste a thousand dollars on me. ”
“It goes to a good cause, so it’s not really wasting.”
He’s right, and I love that he’s the one to mention it. “Good point.”
He doesn’t respond right away, and then his hand is on my neck. I shiver at the touch. God, I love the feel of him, how dominant and fucking sexy he is. “You’re mine,” he says, and though it’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him yes, I’m his, I don’t. Not yet.
“You have to do one thing for me first,” I tell him.
“Who said you get to make the rules?”
Fuck. Why is that so hot? Why does everything he says or does feel like so much more? “Just this once,” I tell him. “You’ll like it. I promise.”
“Unfortunately, I seem to like everything about you.”
I laugh. “Unfortunately?”
“Eh. It’s not ideal.”
No, it’s really not. “But I like it.”
“I like it too,” he says. “What do you want?”
“Well, I know you just paid a thousand dollars to date me and everything, but if we’re going to be boyfriends now—”
“Who said anything about boyfriends?”
“You. I’m positive that’s what you said. It came out something like, Dax, you’re the hottest, sexiest man I’ve ever seen. Will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend? And I was like, eh, I guess .”
He bites back a grin. “Why don’t I remember that?”
“Sounds like a you problem.” I shrug. “Anyway, like I was saying, since we’re boyfriends and you paid to date me, don’t you think you should at least ask me on a proper date? You kinda have to now.”
He smiles, and again, I love being the one who can make him do that, for being a place where Miles can feel comfortable and just be himself…and be happy.
“Go on a date with me.”
“That didn’t sound like a question,” I tease.
He leans in, presses his mouth to the corner of mine, his hand tightening on my throat.
He lingers, doesn’t speak, doesn’t ask. This isn’t easy for him, so I wait, maybe even hold my breath and hope it happens.
“Go on a date with me.” He grimaces for a moment like the rest is even harder to get out. “Please.” Another kiss.
“Yes,” I say, and when he kisses me again, I feel the smile on Miles’s lips, taste it, revel in it.
Miles Tanner wants to date me. And we’re maybe boyfriends? I don’t know if he took all that as seriously as I meant it. I have no idea what the fuck is going on here, but I want it, want it all, and I hope like hell he does too.