Chapter 8
brIAR
I stared at the back of his head. His dark hair held perfect waves, tousled in such a non-deliberate way, it looked intentional. I hated how good he looked after the literal mess I’d made. I hated how much I’d enjoyed seeing the mud drip down his body, rolling over his shirt, which stuck against his lean, muscled frame.
And of course he’d shown up without a shirt to sleep in. I couldn’t blame him, though; I was literally wearing some random dude’s button up at the moment. But why? Why did he also have the most perfect chiseled abs I’d ever seen? Well, there was a small layer of something softer coating them, which only reinforced how perfect he was.
Why was I acting this way? My guilt over being so contradictory consumed me, and it surprised me that despite my back-and-forth assessments and accusations, he was still being kind to me. There was absolutely no reason he should be helping me, especially after what I said. But he still was.
I didn’t deserve his generosity. So, why was I constantly trying to sabotage such a good thing?
I shivered, tucking the covers tighter up to my chin. It sucked even more that I wanted him to touch me. His body heat, the warmth that exuded from him would brush across me every so often, and it only reinforced the fact that despite being mostly dry, I was still quite cold. These small blankets really didn’t do much for me. I’d always been a stick, teased for growing up not out, and the one thing I hated most about it was that I was always cold.
Except at this moment, a second thing bothered me more. I knew I’d never be attractive to someone like Cassidy Duke, which only made me hate his perfection more. He was almost too good to be true, and I was anything but.
My body convulsed again, shaking as I pulled my knees up to my chest.
“You okay?” His voice, low and gentle with that hint of a twang, danced through the darkness.
“Yeah,” I quickly replied.
“So, you’re not shaking ’cause you’re cold,” he stated.
I sighed, the air from my breath forming a small cloud before dissipating in front of me. “I might be a little chilly.”
The blankets across Cassidy’s body shifted, and my eyes widened as he rolled over to face me. “Come here,” he whispered. Large, rough hands, coated in familiar callouses slipped beneath the only source of warmth covering my figure. They ran across my arm and wrapped around my torso, pulling my body toward a chest that rose and fell steadily with each breath he inhaled and exhaled.
Cassidy tugged me against his body, gently cocooning me within his embrace.
And I had no idea what to say. Or do. Or think.
He was…holding me. Cassidy voluntarily touched me, offered me comfort despite my attitude toward him.
For the first time in my life, I felt…small—in a powerfully, feminine way. In a way that made me feel safe as my cheek rested against his chest. A soft dusting of hair upon his body tickled my ear, but I didn’t move. Instead, I listened to the steady rhythm of his beating heart.
He didn’t say anything to me, nor did I to him.
Eventually, a soft snore escaped his lips, his hands still tenderly holding me against him. He was warm; his skin brushing against mine ignited a fire that roared hot desire sharply through my veins. Wait, hold on. No. The goosebumps on my skin were gone because of his hold. His warm embrace was why my body felt the way it did. There was nothing else to his touch that would make me snuggle in a little tighter.
Getting warm was the entire reason that heat swirled within my core and flames licked at the edges of my skin.
That had to be it. I needed that to be it.
A shiver ran down my spine as I closed my eyes and tucked my face tighter against his frame, which may only be an inch or two taller than me but still seemed to swallow me whole. The faint hint of bergamot he typically exuded wasn’t there at the moment, but the hay and leather scent lingered. Mixed with freshly fallen rain and a bit of mud.
I couldn’t help but smile.
For tonight, for this one, simple moment, I could pretend that a man saw me.
Truly saw me.
∞∞∞
Something gentle brushed across the nape of my neck. Hot breath, rhythmical and soft, danced over my skin, pulling me from the restful sleep I’d been tangled in. Arms held me tightly against a bare chest that rose and fell with each puff of air.
Cassidy was still holding me.
I was asleep in Cassidy’s embrace.
I slept all night long being held by him.
Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I’d made him out to be. Rooney might have actually been right. Beneath that gruff exterior of a haughty, conceited shell, was a man dripping with one thing driving him. One thing that I’d caught a glimpse of last night when he’d nearly lost his own life while trying to keep mine safe—a need to take care of others. Just as he had done for Rooney all those years ago.
Cassidy might not be as selfish as I thought. Maybe his motivations for doing what he was doing in this life had little to do with how it benefited him, or how easily things were given to him, and everything to do with others. His answer to my unfinished story probably held some weight to it; though, the reason that he’d gotten so upset had little to do with the story and everything to do with my question.
But that was something for another day. Right now, while he was still asleep, I could pretend like I wasn’t aware he was holding me. It would be simple pretending like the tightening pressure of his arms around me meant nothing—the moment that we both woke up, this never happened.
Keeping my eyes tightly closed, I held perfectly still, not quite ready for it to end. The moment that he actually realized what he was doing, he’d let me go, I just knew it. A soft groan left his lips, and he scooted a little closer to me, pressing his entire frame up against my body.
My heart jumped and began pounding against my ribs so hard, I was worried it might wake him up.
And the tent flaps suddenly shot open.
“RISE AND SHINE YOU—” The young man’s voice stopped suddenly.
I shot away from the arms holding me, my eyes snapping open. Cassidy ran a lazy heel of his palm against his brows and blinked a sleep-filled gaze toward the entrance. “What the…?” Cassidy grumbled. I hesitantly glanced over my shoulder at our unexpected visitor.
“Why is it always me?” the red-headed boy whined, his shoulders slumping as he stared up at the roof of the tent.
“Keaton, what are you doing?” Cassidy asked. His voice was extra husky this morning, and my stomach did this little flip flop.
“Butch said Dad needed me to come wake you two up. Why am I always the one walking in on things that I shouldn’t see?” His freckled nose curled up as he closed his bright blue eyes. Curly, red hair that matched Cash’s. Cash had to be his father.
“Maybe you should’ve knocked,” Cassidy grumbled in an answer. I glanced his way as he sat up, and the blankets fell to his waist. I snapped my gaze away immediately. Feeling heat rising to my cheeks, matching the low fire deep within me, I tucked the blanket up to cover my cheeks and remained planted on the bed.
Good thoughts, Briar. Only good thoughts.
“Where? Uncle Cassidy, please tell me where to knock on a tent,” Keaton responded, annoyed, and rolled his head, cracking his neck. “And don’t tell me that nothing was going on. Uncle Weston already played that card, except I’m older now. I know things.”
I tightened my hold on the blankets.
“Nothing was going on,” Cassidy replied quickly.
“Oh, so you two weren’t cuddling?”
“She was cold last night. I don’t know if you remember—”
“Yeah, yeah. Next time, Butch can be the errand boy.” Keaton scowled and quickly let the tent flaps fall back down, his shadow fading away.
That had not just happened.
Wait…
I sat up and looked at Cassidy, who ran a veiny hand through his hair. My skin tingled as he blinked the hazy sleep from his beautiful, perfect eyes.
“Um, what did he mean by ‘always the one walking in on things’?” I asked. Cassidy shook his head, raising a brow, but simply stared ahead.
“Long story,” he mumbled lazily. “Now, close your eyes, or look away. I’m gonna put my pants on and go get your clothes for you.”
“Oh.” I quickly laid back down and turned away, facing the wall of the tent. Rustling sounded behind me, and the jingle of a belt and buckle danced through the air.
One teeny, tiny peek wouldn’t hurt, would it? I mean, there was no way he wasn’t as well built—
Hold. Up. No, I didn’t need to know what his legs looked like. I didn’t need another confirmation that this man was built with perfection. The tent flap danced open again, and this time a zipper sounded, signaling that I was left alone.
It didn’t bother me too much, but all the same, there had been a strange comfort being held by Cassidy.
I lay there in silence, unmoving as birds chirped around me. A couple of squirrels chattered, arguing with the chipmunks that scurried about. Some cattle bellowed, echoing around me, as faint voices began to fill the morning air.
Things felt light and bright, all the stress from the storm disappeared along with the rain. Some men chuckled, someone else laughed, and even some horses briefly nickered, wanting to join in with the lively conversation.
Then the tent zipper slid across its teeth, and the flaps bristled as someone entered.
Someone who had to be Cassidy. I hoped it was Cassidy.
“Got your stuff,” he said.
“Thank you,” I replied as something light bumped against my toes.
“Breakfast is just getting cooked up, so when you’re dressed, come eat.” I heard the tent rustle again.
“Cassidy?” I quickly called out.
“What’s up, Goldie?” he answered.
I ignored his quip. “I’m sorry if I made things even more of a mess.”
“With what? Keaton barging in?”
Pulling my brows together, I remained facing the tent wall and nodded.
“Eh, it’s really no big deal. Besides, I sent him off with his brother to check the cattle, so he’ll have forgotten about it by the time you’re dressed.”
“Well, either way, I’m just sorry about everything in general.”
“Alright, well, I’ll leave ya to get dressed. Forewarning, your clothes felt a bit stiff.” And just like that he was gone. Leaving me to my thoughts once more.
Once I emerged, dressed and ready for the day, the sun was bright overhead, and most of the cowboys were already saddling up, ready to head back down to the main area of the ranch. Two hands were staying behind for the week to watch the cattle and would eventually be traded out by two new hands—a rotation schedule that I wondered if I could manage to get on.
It sounded fun—the idea of staying with the herd, away from any civilization and sleeping under the stars for a week straight. Though, I doubted I’d be allowed to join. Cassidy probably didn’t trust me enough after last night. There was also the fact that there weren’t any other women part of this outfit that I’d seen. I took a mental note to get after him for that briefly before squaring away my empty breakfast plate.
By this point, the only ones of us left at the temporary campsite were Cash, his two sons, those two hands, and Cassidy. I lifted my eyes across the horizon, the sun already beating down on the fresh world that no longer smelled heavy with rain. The mud was already drying out, and the creek by the grove of trees where the cattle had been hunkered down by last night, gently bubbled across the field. The only evidence that there’d been any sort of fight last night was the out of place branches that would eventually decay into nutrients for the soil.
I loved my home with Dad, but this place was something else. I’d run cattle into mountains before, I’d experienced rides of a lifetime, but this simple, casual cattle drive that these boys must make every year was something of its own class.
“Oh, come on!” a young voice whined, and I glanced to my left. Cash was dragging his son over to the now empty tent that Cassidy and I had once occupied. “Can’t she take it down?”
“Yes, she probably could. But you’re gonna take care of it. Now, go on,” Cash replied and pushed his son forward.
Keaton rolled his eyes but casually walked over to the tent and pulled out the blankets, beginning to pack things up. Cash turned around, catching my eyes briefly. He raised a brow as if he knew something.
“Nothing happened,” I called out, standing from the rock I’d been seated on.
He chuckled, brushing at non-existent dirt on his arm. “Not what Keaton says.”
“Nothing will ever happen.”
“Uh-huh,” he answered and stopped at the edge of the canvas tent.
“He’s not my type. Especially seeing as he’s a stuck-up playboy who gets whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.” The conviction that should’ve been in my voice was mostly absent.
“Yeah, I know you don’t believe that,” Cash replied. “Sure, once upon a lifetime ago, that boy acted like a teenager who thought below the belt, but that’s not been Cassidy in a long time. Besides, you’re completely his type.”
My mouth fell open. There was no stopping it. “Me?”
“Yes, you. Tall blonde that knows her way around a ranch? Around cattle and horses?” Cash chuckled and shook his head as a shadow danced over his shoulder. My eyes lifted from his face to land on the very man that strutted our way. He had that usual cocky smile plastered on his lips, his eyes simply drifting across the beauty that surrounded us.
Then they locked onto mine. Cassidy’s brows twitched, his gaze narrowing, and he tipped his head. Beneath his hat, darkness coated his eyes, and there was no possibility of tearing my own stare from his. My stomach churned, each breath pulled into my lungs shallowed at the sight of him dressed back in his chaps.
I might be his type? A girl who was never any guy’s type because I normally towered over them—or came close to their height—was this man’s type? A man as incredibly good looking as he was?
“Uh-huh, nothing happened,” Cash quickly shot my way before Cassidy ducked under the tent. I snapped my gaze away from Cassidy and glared at Cash.
“What’s that look for?” Cassidy asked, stopping beside his saddle still drying beneath the protective canvas. I slid my narrowed gaze toward him but said nothing as Cash chuckled.
Cassidy lifted the saddle with ease, and my brows raised involuntarily. He made that look easy, I mean, it wasn’t something that I found too difficult, but still, leather saddles were heavy, and yet he made that look like he’d picked up a feather. My body swirled warm on the inside, matching the blistering heat on my skin despite being shaded from the sun.
“Someone wanna tell me what’s going on?” Cassidy asked again, holding the tack next to his hip, looking wide-eyed between Cash and me.
Cash shot a sideways glance at me. “Ain’t nothin’,” Cash answered and then walked away toward the few horses left in the temporary pen.
Cassidy turned his head accusingly toward me, still not moving. “What’d you do?”
My mouth fell open. “Why is that your immediate assumption?” How dare he accuse me of something.
His eyes swirled like a lake lapping with fish, the greenery beneath the water’s surface dancing with mischievous life. And his lips lifted into a smile. Ugh, that man. “Go saddle your horse; we better get movin’ soon, or we’ll need to ride without lunch. I’ve got a couple things to run into town today once we get back.”
“We’ll get back in time for you to go to town?” I asked, walking toward my saddle.
“We can move a lot quicker now that we ain’t pushin’ a massive herd of cattle.” He stopped talking for a moment as I hoisted my own saddle up. I lifted my gaze to his, and he furrowed his brows.
“What?”
“I guess I thought you would’ve known that already,” he muttered.
“Well, yeah. I knew that the return trip would be faster. I guess I thought you’d be working with the stallion once we got back,” I answered, confused.
His gaze raked over my figure briefly, sending a shudder down my spine. What could possibly be going through his mind? But it was quick, and his eyes were looking out over the horizon before I knew it.
He turned and began walking toward the horses. I followed, though not quite as quickly as he managed to move. “I hope you ride as good as you say, ’cause I’m not waitin’ if you can’t keep up.”
My feet stopped moving. “What?!” I shouted. Half of the ride yesterday was in the dark, during a heavy thunderstorm. I had zero idea on how to get back down the mountainside, and if he left me, what was I going to do?
He chuckled, raising a brow and glancing back at me. “I like to run, Goldie. Cowboy here likes to move fast like I do.” He tipped his head toward his horse.
I pursed my lips. “You named your horse Cowboy?”
He grinned even wider, dimples pressing into his cheeks, almost completely hidden by his facial hair, but I still noticed. “Yeehaw, baby.”
“CASSIDY!” one of the ranch hands staying behind shouted, cutting through our conversation. Those hazel eyes left mine and shot back at a figure on horseback thundering over the wild, mountain grass. “We got a problem.” His horse slid to a stop, spinning beneath the cowboy whose collar was already stained with sweat.
Cassidy didn’t hesitate, didn’t ask any questions. He immediately hurled himself over the twine used as a makeshift fence line, sprinted toward his horse, and tossed the saddle pad over Cowboy’s back.
There was a problem, and it was something serious if Cassidy hadn’t questioned a thing. Standing here, watching this, did nothing to help them. Taking off, I ran, though not quite as gracefully or fast as Cassidy did, over toward the gelding I’d ridden yesterday.
“What are you doing?” Cassidy asked, somehow already tacked up and leading his horse toward the makeshift gate.
“I can help.” I slipped the bit into the horse’s mouth, gently gliding the ear farther from me under the bridle.
“No.”
“Oh, come on! You know—”
“We’ve got this.”
“Cassidy, yesterday was—”
“This has nothing to do with yesterday,” he snarled, unhooking the twine from the tree branch. “This is my job and their job. We’ve been doing this together for years. We’ve got this. Saddle up and start heading back down the mountain.”
And he threw himself over the back of his horse, and the two men thundered off without another word.
“But I don’t know where to go…” I mumbled, defeated.
This was totally about yesterday.