39. Thirty-five
Thirty-five
Jake
B eau’s mouth on my cock felt second nature. His full lips stretched over my shaft, eyes on mine, taking me deep. Perfection.
The man gave exceptional head, and I wouldn’t even taunt otherwise. Mainly because I couldn’t , unable to catch my breath when he worked me into a frantic state of heavy breathing and panting gasps with his warm, wet tongue.
But face-to-face with Beau’s erection left me anything but confident.
“Hey,” he murmured, brushing my hair out of my face as I lay between his legs, staring intensely at his dick like I’d never seen one before. “It’s gonna be good because it’s your mouth, you know that?”
“Okay.” I licked my lips and nodded in a stare-off with a hard-on.My fingers dug into his thighs as I studied his thick cock, the crown swollen and glistening with pre-cum. Unfamiliar with foreskin, I’d uncloaked the silky tip, shocked at how much I liked it. God. I really liked it. “I like looking at you. I want to make this good, but I’m nervous.”
My heart pounded wildly, and while I’d asked Fallon to give Beau and me the night to get this sorted, to get me sorted, I wished she were here.
He chuckled. “Gonna be good because it’s your mouth, and I’ll finally shut you up.”
“Way to ruin the moment, asshole.” My hands planted on his thighs to push up, but he held me in place.
“It’s going to be epic. ” He kissed me tenderly and pulled back. His face shone bright with a radiant smile.“I can’t wait to have your mouth on me. Been thinking about it forever. You can just breathe on my dick, and I might come. Add a throaty grunt? Done. Done .”
His head dropped back as he playfully sang, “D-O-Ohhhhhhhh my god.” He choked on a groan when I opened my mouth wide and wrapped my lips around him. I tentatively sucked at the tip.
Not so bad.The skin was smooth and warm against my tongue, and I dipped lower to take as much of him down my throat as I could manage on my first attempt. A gasped cry split from his parted lips, and his hand cupped the back of my head. “ That’s… oh, shit. Good start.” The mattress squeaked beneath us as he thrust into my mouth.
I swirled my tongue and gave a testing lick down his shaft, accustomed to the musky and familiar scent of him. My nostrils flared, and my dick came back to life even though Beau had swallowed me down ten minutes before.
Beau’s legs flexed, his feet brushing against the sheets. His hips lifted, and his jaw went slack as I sucked him in earnest now. His heat was heavy on my tongue, the salty tang of pre-cum familiar from eating our girl’s pussy after he filled her.
What I thought would be a groan from my throat ended up as a whimper. My hand wrapped around the base of his cock to pump in tandem.
“Oh, you filthy fucking liar,” he panted, his fingers tangling in my hair as he watched with half-hooded eyes. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you? How many times? Be honest.”
I laughed around him, my lips stretched tight and my jaw aching, but my heart swelled with appreciation. Beau felt safe. He wanted me to be comfortable, and his encouragement helped. It probably wasn’t the worst blowie, but it had room for improvement.
“I’ll get better,” I tried to mumble.
“No, no,” he whispered, his chest heaving as he pulled my hair tighter. “So good. Suck me how you like me sucking you. Swear this is heaven. Dirty, erotic heaven.”
I popped off and groaned at the sight of his swollen dick wet with my spit. My fingers wrapped around him, jerking with a rough stroke. “Who says I like the way you suck me?”
“Your boner,” Beau moaned, his head dropping against the headboard with a thunk . He covered his eyes with his forearm before peeking down. “You shoot like a fountain, Jake. Tease all you like, but—gah.”
His hips shot off the bed when I took him deep, more confident as I used Beau’s advice to blow him the way I liked.The taste of him, the smell of him, the feel of his smooth skin on my tongue, and the heat of him… My fingers traced along the cut ridges of his muscles, his abdomen hard and flexing with pleasure.
I made it messy, alternating teasing the crown and licking his slit and under his cockhead. The wet slaps of my mouth were obscene. I ground against the sheets, my dick desperate again.
He shook his head furiously, gasping down at me. “Shit, stop, stop, stop.”
I pulled back, catching my breath and panting. “What?”
“I don’t want to come yet. Not like that.” Pupils blown wide and a flushed face, Beau was… beautiful. Fuck, he was sexy.
He opened his mouth, and I beat him to it.“Under the other pillow.”
Beau rolled over, pulling out a bottle of lube and examining it. “Under the pillow, huh? That’s… actually fantastic placement.”
He grinned, then groaned, when I shadowed over him and lined up our cocks.
“Shit,” he panted, mouth agape as he drizzled the lube on our heated skin. “Oh shit. Shit, Jake. Shit.”
Slowly, agonizingly so, I rubbed my dick with his. Slippery and sliding with the drive of my hips, each languid stroke of my cock rutting against his.
“Is this how you want to come?” I breathed. My hands anchored on either side of his head.
Beau’s fingers clawed at the sheets as he moaned and shook his head. “No. Not like this. Is this how you want to come?”
My nose traced his jaw, one hand sliding up his chest to grip his throat. “No,” I rasped.
With a breathy laugh, he whispered, “What do you want? Tell me what you want if you expect to get it.”
“I want you,” I groaned against his neck, my hips grinding faster, harder, rougher.
Beau grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. “Then have me.”
His ass gripped my fingers like a vise as I prepped him, and my cock leaked the entire time, desperate to bury between his cheeks and fuck and fuck and fuck .
Nearly delirious with lust, every throaty groan from Beau’s mouth demolished my willpower to take it slow. But I fingered him patiently, working him open as we kissed and stroked and laughed and moaned, and he murmured those glorious, satisfying words.
“I’m ready.”
Face to face, my heart pounded when I lined my dick up with his hole. My eyes held his as I whispered, “Breathe, baby. This is going to feel good. So goddamn good.”
His head dropped, his mouth going slack as I pushed inside, both of us groaning when his ass enveloped my dick with a tight heat.
“Shit. Oh god,” I panted. “Beau, I’m inside of you.” My head hung in pleasure, hardly believing it. God, he felt phenomenal. His body pressed against mine, his breath fanning over my skin. He spread his legs wider.
“Yeah, I’m aware,” he murmured, puffing, “Christ. You’re big.”
I licked my lips and nodded, too heated to speak. I slowly worked myself in. Beau relaxed for me with every thrust until I was fully seated. Pulling back, I then moved inside again languidly.Then again. Each stroke brought us closer. My toes curled into the mattress when he clenched around me, pleasure sweeping up my spine .
His face contorted in ecstasy when I drew my hips back and drove forward in one hard thrust, my balls slapping his ass as the bed groaned beneath us.
“Fuck me, please,” he breathed against my mouth, his hands sliding over my shoulders and back and touching everywhere all at once while my arms shook. “Don’t go easy.”
I didn’t. My strokes were hard and greedy, thrusting as he took every inch.My belly rubbed over his cock with each drive inside of him. I rested on my forearms, curving my hands around his shoulders to anchor us as I ruthlessly took him.
Grunts and curses filled the room, sweat and musk and sex lingering in the air. I fucked him harder, and harder still, feral for him, wanting him—claiming him.
He mumbled an incoherent string of profanity mixed with pants and pleas for more. His hand wrapped around his dick to pump hard and fast.
Arms shaking, my entire body trembling, pleasure caressed along my spine, my balls desperate for relief despite my perverse and punishing desire to fuck him forever.
“I’m—” I rumbled a low groan.
“Shit,” he grunted, coming all over his stomach, his hand working every drop from his cock, chest heaving between us.
The sight killed me, and I dropped my head back, moaning my release as I came. Filthy and wondrous, filling him with my cum. I groaned against his shoulder, biting.
Wordlessly, our arms wrapped around one another. I nuzzled into his neck, and he held the back of my head and feathered his fingers through my hair.
I pressed tiny kisses over his sweat-coated throat and jaw until his mouth was on mine, and we kissed slowly and softly. I pulled out of him, brushing my fingers where I left him empty. His asshole was wet with my cum. Goddamn.
“Makes me goddamn wild,” I murmured, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling. “Having you.”
He hummed as I rolled to mirror him, pushing his damp hair from his face.
“Not just the sex,” I clarified, though it relieved me it’d gone so well. “This worked. We worked. This will work, Beau. Stop panicking. I saw the worry on your face tonight.”
So far as I could tell, Beau’s insecurities were the biggest obstacle to making this work.
He swallowed and nodded. “This was amazing.”
Slight but noticeable, his hesitance had me propped on my elbow to get a better look at him. “You don’t think so?”
“No,” he hurried. “This was incredible. Tonight was everything.” He smiled… that fake smile. The goddamn gall to pull that shit with me.
“But?” I ground out.
The prick, of course, turned to jokes.
“Again, so soon? I’m a bit sore.”
“Cut the shit, Beau.”
Whatever plans rattling in my head about the future didn’t match his. He quietly said, “It’s not about you. It’s… You’re coming down from your first fuck with a guy—”
“You, Beau. My first fuck with you. It has nothing to do with your dick. Don’t insult me by implying—”
He continued, talking louder over me. “Adam isn’t wrong about new relationship energy making things feel good, but that’s not the same as dealing with the hard stuff or—”
“I’ll kill him, I swear,” I roared, kicking my feet over the side of the bed and grabbing Beau’s clothes to toss to him. “Messing with your head like that—”
“Jake, stop. Listen .” His hand was on my arm, the touch deceptively gentle for the sting of his words. “How can this work?”
I stilled, dropping his clothes. “What do you mean? It already does work.”
The soft footsteps of his retreat throbbed in the tension between us. Pulling away—Beau was pulling away when I wanted him closer.
“My dad’s shop can’t survive without customers. Do you think Chad Tomlin is the only asshole bigot in this town? Where will I live? What will I do? What about when people start coming for you? For Fallon ?”
I’ll kill them .
Several deep breaths held the panic at bay. Scared. He’s scared . Fallon reacted the same when she first got her infertility diagnosis. Pushing and pushing because she didn’t think she was enough when she was everything.
This with Beau? It was everything, too. Everything Fallon and I didn’t know we wanted.
Needed.
“I’ll take care of her, of you, of us, of this.” I could. I would. “Take a breath, Beau. We can figure it out.”
Steady. I would hold him steady, like I held Fallon when she spiraled into doubt. That was my job, what I did, and what I would always do for them.
“You keep saying that, but so far, we’ve figured out nothing except the fact you like fucking me and me fucking your girl.”
No. No, no, no. He didn’t get to depersonalize her and distance himself.
“Our girl. She’s our girl. You have her, too.”
“Until you decide this isn’t fun anymore. When Good Time Beau brings the Bad Time Shit. When things get ugly and hard. When the excitement of this wears into mundane shit like fighting over chores or sex or finances, she’s yours, Jake. She’ll love you through it, and you’ll fight until your last breath to be the man she needs.”
“You will, too,” I argued.
He dropped his head, his lip trembling. “I have nothing to offer when it gets hard.”
“You asshole ,” I seethed, grabbing his jeans and throwing them at him. “Forget your pity party. Fallon’s the heart, but you’re the love. You shine that goofy smile that warms us all. You think that’s nothing? You think feeling sorry for yourself because life didn’t go your way means you don’t deserve to be loved as hard as you love others? You think our girl loves conditionally? ”
Beau leaped off the bed, storming to his feet and throwing the jeans back at me. No trembling lip now.
Good.
“You want to fight, Jake? Easier to be pissed than acknowledge that maybe there’s some truth to the worry? That maybe you can’t deal with your feelings for me as anything fleeting because you’re wrapped up in the belief that it has to mean something to want to fuck me?”
He crossed his arms, the dumb motherfucker. Hope he had dental insurance. I was going to knock out his teeth.
“Fine!” I shouted, getting in his face. “We fight. We fight, and we fuck, and we get over it, and we’ll keep doing that because when shit gets hard, we can’t have the heart without the love. You’re part of this, but you don’t have to be everything to have us. Just be you, Beau. We want you. ”
His lips pressed tight, eyes on fire. “It’s not that easy! What if it’s not enough?”
What if I’m not enough for him? Maybe that’s what he meant because I was doing a shit job at holding him steady.
“It’s not easy,” I agreed, my voice breaking as I balled my fist and hit my chest. “But I’m the goddamn rib cage that holds us all together and keeps us safe. We stay together . We need each other. It’s not easy, but that doesn’t mean it won’t work.”
“Jake—”
“Get in bed.” I pulled down the covers, gesturing. “Get in bed. Give me a week, and I’ll figure out your questions.”
“Jake.” He sighed, but he climbed in.
Sliding behind Beau, I hauled him against me, his back to my chest, and whispered, “Give me a little time. Please. Promise me.”
“Fine,” he murmured a reluctant agreement, and I fell asleep with a sinking dread that maybe Beau was right, and I was too stubborn to let myself acknowledge it.
But that dread lifted when soft lips pressed along my neck in the middle of the night, waking me with trailing nips and whispers of apology.
“I’m scared,” he breathed against me. “I’m scared I won’t be enough. For you, for her.”
We’d flipped in the night, his heavy arms surrounding me and his whispers turning to soft sobs. “I don’t know how to be enough for you. I’m sorry,” he rasped, kissing over my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
His thigh hooked over my hip, and I stroked it as he clung to me. “It scares me, too, Beau. Scares me to think of you leaving. Please don’t leave.”
His mouth roamed my back, kissing along the vertebrae of my spine. Soft, cherishing at first, but as I thickened with the drag of his tongue and rocked against him, his kisses turned raw. Wild. His teeth bit harder, his hands gripping my flesh and squeezing until I gasped from the sting of it.
His erection slid between my ass cheeks, rubbing against me as he moaned and panted into my neck, his hand reaching around to stroke my hard cock.
I didn’t stop him or protest when he spread me and traced a finger over my tight hole.
“I need you,” he groaned in my ear. “Please.”
“Have me.” All of me. Take me. Ravage me. Love me. Stay for me.
He moved away for a moment, the snap of the lube cap echoing like thunder, cracking in the silent room. My heart pounded just as loud.
I grunted when the tip of his finger pushed inside, my body flexing. The burn was unfamiliar but not unpleasant. I’d fingered my ass in the shower, preparing for the possibility that Beau may want to touch me… hoping he would. But it wasn’t like this—heady and hot and tight in a way that had me desperate for more of him.
“Relax for me.”He rolled me onto my back, adding another finger as he watched my face in the shadows of the moonlight. His other hand wrapped around my cock, slowly jerking. His brows furrowed with each thrust of his fingers until I arched my back and nearly levitated off the bed, my body on fire .
“Holy shit,” I sputtered.
“Oh yeah. Right there.” He smiled before kissing me, licking inside my mouth to fuck me with his tongue while he finger fucked my ass and stroked my leaking dick.
“Please,” I groaned, my grip digging into the muscled skin of his back. I let out a shaky breath. “Do it. Have me.”
He stilled for a moment, the room going quiet around us.
“Too soon,” he murmured against my mouth. He resumed pumping his fingers over my prostate. “Another time.”
“Now,” I panted, sweat pebbling my skin as I moved on his hand. My body alight with fire; a burning pleasure heated my insides. “I want you now. Need you now.”
I expected more arguing, good at it as we were, but Beau pulled out of me and rubbed his cock with more lube. His hands trembled as he spread me wide and tented my legs. He lifted my balls to admire me. “Goddamn, that’s hot. Look at you,” he murmured.
I felt so vulnerable when his crown nudged my hole. His eyes locked on my mouth, and he whispered my name, easing forward.
“Jesus,” I grunted, inching up the bed like I wanted to get away from the intrusion, but he pressed against my hip, anchoring me in place as he filled me.
“Breathe. Let me make you feel good.”
I wetted my lips, nodding as I tried not to panic. The burn decreased as I slowly adjusted, but he stretched me to the brim. Uncomfortable, maybe. Or amazing? Difficult to tell when I was so full I could hardly breathe. I focused on the soft furrow of his brows with each gentle forward thrust, the weight of his body pushing me into the mattress.
Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, Beau’s hips ground against me. He exhaled hard through his nose and murmured under his breath.
“You good?” His eyes sought mine, his hand caressing my cheek.
“I’m good,” I whispered.
His eyes stayed locked on me, a faint curve of a smile on his lips. “You’re so tight. Jesus. I won’t last long. How do I feel?”
“Enormous,” I grunted. He pulled back until I was nearly empty of him before slowly easing inside me to hit that spot that lit me up. “ Fuuuuuck. Do that again.” Then again. I didn’t know if I’d be into bottoming, but hell yes.
“Baby.” I buried my face into his neck and bit his damp skin. Rough pants and gasped groans echoed against the heat of our bodies. Giving him a vulnerable piece of myself, something nobody else ever had… “You have me,” I breathed, lifting to take his mouth in a slow, arduous kiss. I pressed his forehead to mine, cupping his cheek and smiling softly.
Beau watched me for a moment longer, something in his look reminiscent of sadness.
I opened my mouth to comment, to ask how he could be sad when he was so deep inside me, but his lips were on mine again. His cock pulled out and pushed back in, unhurried. He kissed me the same.
Torturously slow and delicate, a tenderness between us we’d never allowed to exist before. Our fingers laced, and he pinned our hands above my head as he thrust gently. Carefully.
Lovingly.
He released my hand to stroke my dick, each upstroke matching the pace of his thrusts. A slow build, almost agony, his face buried against my neck as he moaned and whimpered and cursed.
Driving faster into me with a building tempo, he lifted his hips to hit exactly where my ass wanted him, nailing my prostate and jerking me until I swear I passed out. I made a mess, coming all over myself, the bed, Christ—maybe even the ceiling.
Deep, slow strokes turned into wild and frantic movements. Beau pounded into me as I held him tight. His teeth sank into my shoulder with a quiet groan when he came inside me.
Hovering on his forearms, shaking, he clung to me.
I’m in love with you, Beau. Think I always have been. Is that enough for you?
But I wouldn’t say it, afraid of his answer.