For Keeps

43. Thirty-nine

Thirty-nine

Jake

T he door opened slowly, its hinges releasing a familiar groan as my girl stepped inside.

“Time to shine,” I rumbled to the asshole at my side. “You ready?”

“Jake,” Beau whispered, those hands clamped tight in his lap. “Please.”

Fallon’s eyes darted between us. Her sweet pink tongue swept over her lips as she wetted them and murmured a hesitant greeting. Her fingers clutched the strap of her purse, refusing to let go.

“How was work, baby?” I rose to help pry her grasp from the faux leather until the bag dropped to the floor. “Those kids give you any shit?”

Wordlessly, she shook her head, her eyes fixed on me as I bent to untie her shoes and slip them off. After a long day, my girl loved a knuckle to the ball of those gorgeous feet.

Her hand shot out to grip my shoulder and steady herself as I helped her out of her socks next.

“What’s—What are you guys doing?” Her gaze flickered to Beau, and she whispered, “Why does he have a split lip?”

I glanced behind me to the motherfucker on the couch. “Beau? Why do you have a split lip?”

His mouth pressed tight as he averted his eyes, refusing to acknowledge my girl. Decidedly not a fan of that.

“Answer her.”

“Jake,” she said cautiously. “Did you—”

“Hit him?” I offered, setting her socks neatly beside her shoes and standing. “What possible reason could I have for hitting Beau?”

Tapping my chin, I hummed and stared at the ceiling. “Could it be because he quit this morning? Showed up to tell Palmer he’s out and walked off the site saying nothing to anyone, let alone me?”

“Jake,” Beau’s voice broke, but I didn’t care when I wanted to be the one who broke him.

“Hm. Not a terrible reason, I’ll admit, but not enough to goad me into rearranging his face. For all I knew, he was eager to get started on that dog walking.”

“Jake.” Fallon’s touch smoothed over my arm, the skin hot, but not as searing as my anger.

“Turns out, dog walking isn’t his thing, is it, Beau?”

“It’s too good to turn down the gig,” he protested. “Steady, consistent work with solid pay. With my shoulder, these kinds of opportunities are rare.”

Her eyebrows furrowed in understanding. “Oh,” she whispered.

“I can send my dad money and delay him having to sell until he can find a better buyer than Kranz. I can fix this ,” he said, the words strangled. “I’ll come back when the season wraps. I’ll—”

“You won’t,” Fallon said quietly, facing the truth that we’d tried to shield ourselves from.“If this scares you now, it won’t scare you any less when you settle back in L.A. This isn’t about a job.”

“It is,” the asshole argued.

“Yeah?” She laughed gruffly. “If you believe that, you deserve Jake busting your lip. You’re lucky I don’t do the same.”

“Oh, I didn’t hit him.” I held up my palms. “I wanted to, but I didn’t. Was plenty rough with him when he walked through this door, though, announcing his brilliant solution to everyone’s problems: his exit.”

I had tangled my hard, gripping fists in his hoodie— my hoodie, the brazen dick—shoving him angrily against the wall with a frustrated grunt when he told me.

My fingers had dug into his hips as his hands clawed at my chest and shoulders to push me off. Fast, enraged breath against his mouth as I licked over his cut and told him I hated him.

As soon as he walked through that door and I realized he’d only be walking right back out, I did. I hated him.

“Who hit you?” Fallon asked. “If not Jake, who—”

He cleared his throat, his face reddening.

“Oh,” I tutted. “Come on, Beau, tell her the story! It’s such a good one.”

Jaw clenched tight, fists even tighter, he shot me a look that made me think maybe he hated me, too.

“Chad Tomlin,” he answered, his breath ragged as his fingers dug into the couch.

Grinning, I plopped down beside him and patted his thigh. “Tell the rest. Wasn’t just him, was it?”

Fallon’s hands flew to her mouth, her head shaking wildly. “Oh my god, they attacked you?”

He sighed, hanging his head. “No.”

“He attacked them , baby,” I whooped, enjoying Beau’s scowl. “Goaded them into a fight, three of them, all by himself, like a big boy.”

Fortunately, despite being complete asshats, Chad and his friends were pussies. None knew how to fight, let alone punch, and they scattered when Beau lunged for them.

Beau chased after, taking a hit to the face when Callie Veitch opened the sun umbrella outside of the coffee stand before he could zig or zag. He clipped his lip on the corner.

Ten steps from the door to the couch, and Fallon made them with record speed.“I’m so sorry. Why?” She kneeled and cupped his face. “Why? Why would you do that?”

“Easy,” I answered for him. “Chad and his goons deserved it.” I punched his shoulder, the buddies we were. “The better question is, why would you do it now? ”

“Stop, Jake,” she pleaded, brushing through Beau’s messy hair. “You’re making it difficult for him to speak.”

By all means, I’d clear the floor to hear Beau Dalton say it.

“I need you, please.”

The goddamn truth for once. This time, the truth. He didn’t need me. He was going to leave me.

“Have me.”

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

He glanced at me, quickly looking away again and wiping his palms on his jeans.

“He called you names,” Beau said. “I snapped. Shouldn’t have, I know, but a summer is long enough for him to shut his mouth. Figured I’d help him with that while…”

Fallon sniffled, dropping her head, her hands remaining in his hair .

“You’d help him with that while you’re here.” She met his eyes with a sad smile. “Because you’re leaving, aren’t you? You decided? You know what you want to do?”

His heavy swallow answered that.

“This isn’t enough for you. Or maybe… maybe it’s too much.”Tears trailed her flushed cheeks, her nose running. “This is scary, and I know scary. I’ve been too scared to ask for what I want, believing I wasn’t enough. I was broken, and I wouldn’t be enough to ask.”

Saddest fucking thing I’d ever seen, and Beau sat stoic.

Fallon loved fiercely, but she needed to remember to include herself.Speaking up, asking … It broke my heart open for my brave, amazing girl.

“But you and Jake make me believe I am enough. I’m perfect as I am, not broken when you’re both my missing pieces. So now I’m not too scared to ask for what I want. Stay, Beau.” Her pleading eyes locked on him. “I’m asking you to stay, scary as it is. We’ve never done this before, never wanted to, but you turned things upside down. Give us time to figure out how to do this. Please, don’t go.”

He sniffled and tenderly smiled at her, his red-rimmed eyes shining with tears.“This is your life, sweet girl. Your relationship. Your town. Your everything . Three months here, and I turned your everything upside down?”

He caressed her cheek. The moment was intimate enough that, for the first time, I felt like there was something between them that wasn’t meant for me to witness.

“What happens if all that’s left of your everything is resentment because you can’t right it? It’s true, this scares me. I’ll never think I’m enough for you, for Jake, but it terrifies me to wonder if, one day, you might think the same.”

“Beau… No.” Her pleading and frantic eyes met my reluctant stare. “Baby, tell him.”

“Already told him,” I grunted, uninterested in sharing Fallon’s tenderness. I preferred the graze of anger blooming along my skin. Warm and familiar.

“What kind of life can we have?” he puffed, the heels of his palms mashing into his eyes.

“Whatever life we want,” she argued on the floor beside him. “We decide.”

“But it’s not just us,” he whispered with a pitied look. “This doesn’t just—”

“Let him go.” I tugged Fallon to stand as I rose from the couch. Like hell I’d allow him to break her heart while she kneeled at his feet. “He thinks this isn’t enough? Fuck him. Let him go.”

“ You left, Jake.” Beau shot to his feet, his restraint shedding when his temper fired up to match mine. “You left to provide for your family and are a hero. I do it, and I’m a coward?”

“This is not the same thing. You’re not fighting for shit. You’re scrambling away with your tail tucked between your legs because you’ve convinced yourself it’s the only way. Not because that’s true, but because it’s a convenient excuse.”

My chest heaved with the words; my chin tipped with indignation. He promised me. He promised me. He said he would stay. He said he would give me time.

He’d given me nothing.

“It’s not the only way, but instead of giving me a chance , you run before I can help you fix this.”

Toe to toe, our chests brushed with each fast breath. His hands balled at his side and gripped the denim of his jeans like anchoring to them was the only means to keep from slamming his fist into my face.

“Maybe I want to fix it for myself. Maybe I want to be a man who can do this without someone stepping in to take care of the problems I caused. The ones I caused. You think it’s weak to leave? It kills me.”

“Yet you’re looking for excuses to do it. That’s not the same as doing what needs to be done to care for the people you love. Claiming it as such is stupid, and that’s beneath you. Does this scare you? It scares me, too. But I’m going nowhere, Beau. So fuck you, and see yourself right fucking off.”

He jerked back like I’d hit him, and I may as well have with the vitriol spitting from my mouth. I meant every single word.

“Jake,” Fallon whispered, her eyes seeking mine as she gripped my arm, her nails digging into the skin. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I?”

She would hate me for a while and resent me for not pushing him to stay, but I couldn’t. If I wasn’t enough for Beau? He could leave just like my mom, like my dad.

“No,” she said, her voice rising. “You love him. You’re in love with him.”

Beau’s eyes snapped to me.

“You’re in love with him! Tell him, Jake,” she sobbed, dropping her forehead to my chest. “Please. Tell him.”

I swallowed and stepped back. “There’s nothing to say.”

Fallon faced Beau, her brows sinking. “I’m in love with you, Beau.” Her gaze flickered to me. “I’m in love with Jake, too. You’re in love with both of us. We both love you. Don’t go, Beau. You can’t go.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, wiping his eyes.

Her shoulders shook, silently crying as her eyes pleaded with Beau.

“Hey,” he said, reaching for her. “Hey, don’t cry, sweet girl. It’s going to be—”

Like a dam, her words burst through, forced by the flood of her anger. “I’ll never forgive you if you leave.” She pointed at me, and I glanced away. “I’ll never forgive you for doing that to him.”

She beat her fists against his chest, his face impassive while he stared at the wall behind her. He didn’t stop her, allowing each blow to land with hardly a wince despite the force.

“Stay! Even if I’m not enough, stay for him!”she sobbed.

I crossed my arms, quickly swiping my nose. “What is there to stay for, huh, Beau?”

He wasn’t the first person I loved who would leave because this life hadn’t been enough. He’d start his life over somewhere else.

I didn’t hate him for it, not completely, but I loathed him for hurting Fallon when I’d allowed him the ability to love her. When he promised he’d treat her right. And now he was breaking her heart.

“Jake.” Beau’s voice cracked. “Please… It’s not you.” His frantic eyes darted to Fallon. “It’s not you.”

I laughed, my head dropping back to stare at the ceiling. “It’s not us? What else is there?”

“This was supposed to be fun,” he murmured, gently removing Fallon’s hand from his clothes. “I’ve killed my dad’s shop. I can’t even help. Can’t give him money or do shit about it. Fallon gets called names. People stare. People gossip.”

“Forget them, Beau. The people who love you, who love us, they don’t care. That’s all that matters,” she pleaded.

Soft and measured, I said, “Clearly, that’s not all that matters.”

Beau’s panic-stricken face focused on me, my gentle tone startling him.

“I didn’t think it would be so hard to say goodbye. It’s not you. The reason I’m going,” he whispered. His eyes held mine. “It’s not you.”

I hated him. I hated him so goddamn much at that moment. Hated him for hurting her. Hated him for leaving me because it hurt so fucking badly.

“No.” My voice broke, and I hated him for that, too. “You want to go, go. Fuck you for coming here and screwing this up, you train wreck.”

“Make him stay, Jake,” Fallon whispered, tugging me and crying. “Please. This is me speaking up for myself. Hear me.”

I stared into her eyes, a sheen of fresh tears ready to spill. Begging Beau to stay for me when people I loved had a history of leaving… scared the hell out of me.

“Please, Jake. For us. Please,” she pleaded. “I know it scares you, too, but this is right. We are right—us.”

People left me, but Fallon had always stayed. I’d do anything for her, even if it meant fighting the fear of being left again. I would take the chance for her, me, him… for us.

Us.

“I’m sorry,” he rasped, “but what else is there?”

“Us.” My chest heaved with the admission. “ Us , you son of a bitch. ”

I moved into his space and gripped his t-shirt tight in my fist. Our mouths hovered inches apart as heat flared in my eyes and pain laced each heavy word.

“Us,” I whispered, shaking him. “There’s us. ”

Beau’s eyes slammed shut as his unsteady breath fanned against my mouth.

“You can’t hide from me. Open your eyes and look at me if you’re going to say goodbye.”

He shook his head, his eyes squeezing tighter. I’d peel the lids off and force him if I had to. But Fallon’s soft voice coaxed him to listen.

“Please, Beau,” she whispered. “Look at him.”

Fallon grasped our arms, anchoring herself and grounding us, always grounding us. Slowly, his eyes opened. I almost wished they hadn’t.The pain on his face seared my heart. And I tried—I tried so hard to push it aside. To keep hating him for putting it there in the first place.

But I couldn’t.

“You love her?” I asked him, my eyes locked on his.

“Yes,” he whispered, wiping his nose and sniffling. “So much.”

She released a soft whimper, dropping her head.

“You know she loves you?”

Beau cleared his throat. “Yes.” His lip trembled.

Her fingers dug into his arm as hard as mine. “I love you, Beau. ”

He closed his eyes, and I gripped his chin with a hard pinch. “Open them, coward.”

“Jake,” he whimpered, shaking his head. “Please, don’t make me.”

But I had to because he needed to hear this—to know it was true, to know he belonged with us.

“You know I love you?” I breathed, my heart beating wildly with the admission. His eyes flew open. “You know I love you?” I repeated.

His entire body tensed, and my grip on his shirt tightened. “Answer me, Beau.”

“Yes,” he exhaled. “I know.”

I licked my lips. “Do… Do you love me?”

“Jake,” he rasped, his voice hoarse. “I—”

I’d force him to say it. He couldn’t leave pretending it wasn’t true just because it’d be easier if it weren’t. “Answer me. Do you love me?”

He sank into my arms, his knees buckling. “I’ve always loved you, dipshit. You goddamn moody—”

His lips seized mine, hands tangling in one another’s hair to pull each other closer. My fingers pressed into his cheeks, holding him still as I kissed him relentlessly, not letting him leave, even if he wanted to.

“Us,” I panted against his mouth. “You’re part of us. We’re part of you.”

Beau whimpered into our hard and determined kisses as he nodded furiously before pulling away, breathless.

I murmured, “Stay, Beau. We need you to stay. No games, no back-and-forth.”

I pulled Fallon into the embrace. Beau hauled her into his arms and whispered apologies as he kissed her and loved on her. His hands ran over her shoulders and neck, tangling in her hair like he needed to touch her everywhere.

Her body relaxed against him, a breathy moan when his tongue split the seam of her lips and caressed into her mouth. “I love you. I love you,” she chanted.

They broke their kiss, and Fallon cupped my cheek. “I love you,” she whispered, her eyes shining. “Thank you.”

I squeezed her hand, giving her a small smile. With the adrenaline gone, I might collapse. Fucking asshole, Beau Dalton. He had some groveling to do, mostly on his knees.

He puffed an exhale, grinning through it and blinking a few times to clear his eyes. “Goddamn. You’re a bossy son of a bitch.”

I dropped onto the couch, too exhausted to stay on my feet. Fallon followed suit, plopping beside me and resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her. We glanced at Beau, and I patted the cushion on my other side.

Wordlessly, Beau took a seat, his arm around me a moment later. “I still don’t know what to do,” he murmured. “I’m jobless again. ”

“Does it matter?” I asked, pressing a kiss to his temple. My lips lingered against his soft hair. “Whatever you decide, you don’t have to do it alone.”

“Yeah, okay.” His fingers laced with Fallon’s as they rested their hands on my stomach.

“I have a suggestion,” I offered.

Our girl puffed her cheeks and shook her head, damp hair stuck over her forehead. “I’m too tired for that.”

“Non-sexual suggestion,” I clarified, hauling them to the bedroom—not exactly helping my believability.“After we get some sleep.”

“Don’t want to hear it, then,” Beau hummed as he brushed into the room. He worked open his belt and slid off his jeans, kicking them into the corner.

“You’re gonna want to hear this,” I promised. “We hit the ground running tomorrow.”

Fallon sighed, curling into me. “And all the tomorrows after.”