4. Este
ESTE
T here’s been a sense of nostalgia in the air this week.
I’m finally feeling truly better after months of struggling with horrendous sinus pain.
The strong antibiotic Mallory’s cousin prescribed seems to have done the trick.
For a while, I was convinced something was seriously wrong with me, but now I can breathe, literally, and that fills me with relief.
It means I can finally stand to get back outdoors among all the allergens.
Reed is out camping with her friends, and thankfully, there’s a trusted older sister among them who promises to keep the kids safe.
So, I drive to the edge of town to my grandparents’ property that’s been abandoned since their deaths.
It’s out by some of the less developed farm towns, and I pass fields of cattle, horses, and some sheep on the way there.
My windows are open despite the heat, and my arm rests on the top of the driver’s side door.
I inhale and exhale slowly as the familiar streets come into view.
It’s a peaceful ride until Mallory calls, forcing me to roll up the windows to hear her.
I’ve got my cell to my ear as I enter the stale, warm, and dusty house that used to be filled with light and life.
The lights work, and I turn on the AC to cool the place as Mallory calls to tell me about yet another exciting night out with Jamie last night.
Meanwhile, I’m sneezing repeatedly from all the dust bunnies.
After she blesses me following my sneezes, I tell her, “So, this sounds like more than a rebound situation with Jamie.”
“It’s starting to feel that way.” Mallory sounds dreamy and lost in her own little world. I tiptoe closer to the vent. Is the air even kicking on? Finally, I hear the metal grate rattle and stale air descend.
“Well, then, it might be time to tell him how you feel. Oof, it’s dusty in here. I’m at my grandparents’ place.”
I skate my hand over the couches in the sitting room, and thick gray dust twirls in the air, catching the sunbeams streaming through the glorious bay window up front.
“What’s it like? I still can’t believe I’ve never been.”
“Well, it’s a beautiful house, even after all these years. A rambler with charm. Mom grew up here during the school year. Then, they summered in Wisconsin along a lake where it was cooler.”
“Did they will that place to you, too?” Mallory sounds confused.
“Oh, no. That house had been sold long before my grandparents passed away, and I only have vague recollections of the Midwest from my youth. I remember cold water and sandcastles. Not to mention all that joy, using the beach as my playground.” A sudden recollection of burying Grandpa in the sand takes me by surprise and makes me smile. He’d always been such a fun playmate.
I slide my finger across the dust of a family portrait adorning the yellow interior wall in the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Sorry. No. What?”
“I said you should call that gorgeous man from the boozy benefit. The way he looked at you is exactly how a man should look at a desirable woman. Don’t you want to date again?
Flirt? Banter?” Mallory asks me the same questions I’ve been wondering about to the point of obsession for the last three weeks.
His card has been burning a hole in my wallet ever since.
“Once bitten twice shy,” is all I admit. “It’s only been three years. Sometimes I think I’ve had all the love I’ve been allotted.”
“Oh, come on. That’s bullshit. First, he couldn’t be more different from Cole.
He’s a local psychiatrist. He’s not out there putting his life in danger regularly, Este.
Not all relationships have an end date, and love doesn’t either.
You’ve got all the time in the world to have a fresh start with a great guy.
The only one keeping you from it is you. ”
I find the primary bathroom and open the curtains. The décor in here revolves around flowers, even the quilt on the bed, which I’ve admired for many years. I might have to take it home and wash it.
Yet, it feels devoid of life. It’s odd to be here, and it hits me right in the gut. I have to make a decision. This old house is meant for the living, not siting stale and withering away beneath the Texas sun, but it would need a lot of renovation. Time and work I’m not sure I have the energy for.
“Plus, you never know what the future holds. Remember that old movie, The Notebook ? How they fall asleep and wake up in heaven together?”
“You’re presuming that last part. They die together, of course. Nobody knows what happens after that. And maybe I’m not a romantic like you are, but I don’t think real life is like that.” I roll my eyes at my friend romanticizing her favorite movie.
“You can’t get hurt if you never try. I get it, Este, and I know what you’re doing.
You’re only thirty-four. Every day you don’t call Dominic, you’re choosing to be alone.
For fuck’s sake, girl, don’t let your chance with him pass you by.
You’ll regret it.” Mallory doesn’t pull punches, but that’s part of what I usually like about her.
Today, when it’s aimed at me, it pisses me off.
“Fine, fine, fine.” I head into the bathroom only to find the lights burned out. I dig in the hall closet to find a package of old lightbulbs. Finally, I promise Mallory that I’ll call Dom—as soon as I replace the bulbs and vacuum, but I cross my fingers behind my back at the last second.
“I gotta run,” I tell Mallory as I plug the vacuum in and say goodbye. I spend the next hour sucking up all the dust bunnies and spiderwebs, trying to return the house to its former glory. While I’m at it, I vacuum the couches and Windex the bay window on both sides until it gleams.
When I’m sweating like hell and overheating, I rip my clothes off on the way to the back edge of the property line where a large creek flows. I’m left with only my underwear on. Delighting in the feel of the lush grass beneath my feet, I run.
The unmistakable scent of impending rain fills my senses. We’ve had a lot of it lately, and I bet the creek is raging. I’m a strong swimmer, especially in this creek, which has seen me through all the seasons of my life.
I’m overcome by the juvenile urge to use the rope swing Grandpa tied from an oak tree branch, so I run in that direction. I almost let out a guttural scream as I take hold of the rope, swing out over the water, and plunge in. I tuck my knees and cannonball, creating a huge splash.
I float on my back as the water laps at my body, letting out a sigh of pure happiness.
There’s just something about being in this creek that takes me back to when I was ten and life was simple.
My grandparents were still around back then, spoiling me with love and attention, playing with me in the water.
Later in my life, Cole was also in this creek with Reed when she was smaller.
The memories of those days catch up with me.
We had some wonderful times, and I sense Cole’s presence here, as well as my grandparents. It feels like they’re smiling down.
Here in my creek, despite my grief over losing them, everything feels right as rain.
My eyes dart around, taking in my surroundings, and they land on something that should not be there. Someone else is in my creek, and he turns to me and cocks his head as if to say, don’t I know you?
Holy shit. It’s Dom, and he’s naked as the day is long. I notice everything before I gasp, sputter, and momentarily sink in the water. Finally, my good sense comes back to me, and I get my toes underneath me.
“Dom, what are you doing here?” I call over to him in a tone angrier and more alarmed than I intend. Is he stalking me or something?
No, Celeste, that’s ridiculous.
“Hey, according to my realtor, at least a piece of this creek is on my property.” Dom makes his way over to me while I avert my eyes, and my cheeks flush scarlet. I can’t believe we’re meeting again this way, and I wish for a bathing suit.
When he’s about ten feet away, he adds, “You don’t call, you don’t write, and this is how we run into each other? How are you, Este?”
At least he’s more than waist deep in the water, and I’m not staring right at his goods anymore...
Wait, Este, you can’t be upset about that.
I blink, a bit dazed to have my eyes rest on the entirety of the naked body of my acquaintance—and more than a little embarrassed to find myself appreciating his muscles and his obvious… girth .
“What do you mean, you own part of my creek?” I stand up and put my arm over my breasts. “As far as I know, it’s on my grandparents’ property line, which makes it entirely mine.”
“I own this property,” Dom explains, pointing at the twenty-plus acres behind the creek. “And I’m told at least a portion of the creek runs on my side.”
“Huh. That’s odd. Well, uh, howdy, neighbor.”
“Howdy. Wow, I did not know you owned this place. I came out here to cool down, but I couldn’t find my trunks. Apologies if I’m making you uncomfortable.” Dom doesn’t appear apologetic as he stares at me. I’m the nervous one here. He’s cool as a cucumber.
“Just thrown for a loop to run into you like this. If I’m honest, it’s good to see you here.
” My face and neck heat even further when I realize it sounds like I’m insinuating something.
“I mean, not because you’re not wearing clothes.
But I’m not upset about that either. I mean, ugh.
Never mind. I mean, I meant what I said—I’m glad we ran into one another.
” I blink rapidly and bite my lip. Great, I sound like a blithering idiot.