20. Este
ESTE
T his has been the longest month of my life. Dom has been the best nurse I could have ever asked for during my recovery from surgery. The patch way up in my nasal bone is holding, and now I’m living sniffle-free and with no pain. It seems too good to be true.
Everything does.
Dom’s been staying almost every night at my place, helping Reed with her homework, packing her lunches, doing my laundry, taking care of all the cleaning, and he’s been cooking for us both.
We’re getting spoiled by all the attention.
He’s made sure I hadn’t twisted, bent down, or lifted anything heavier than five pounds over the last thirty days, and he’s abstained remarkably well from sex.
It’s been nice slowing down that side of our relationship and getting to know one another on a deeper level without it.
That said, I miss the hell out of our sexy times.
Mallory calls me at three p.m., well before I expect Dom to be home.
“How are things with Loverboy?”
I grab a small package of pineapple sorbet and a spoon. “Oh, Mal. He’s just so wonderful. It’s been nice seeing how life with him would be.”
“He’s a real domestic dreamboat, huh?”
I swallow a heaping spoonful of pineapple goodness. “Oh, yeah. He knows how to do my laundry better than I do now. Knows what needs to be hang dried, what goes on low. Hell, Reed prefers that he pack her lunch. Go figure.”
“Speaking of lunch, school will be out any day, won’t it?” Mallory asks as she curses. “Missed the turn. Trying to get to my listing appointment. I really need you back in the office!”
“Tomorrow, I promise. And yep, Reed’s got two more weeks before she leaves for camp almost immediately after graduation.”
“With Daisy?” Mallory sing-songs.
I giggle and nod, like she can see me. “Yes, she’ll be rooming with her girlfriend. I’m being the Cool Mom, right?” I dip my spoon into the container and shovel another bite into my mouth. Dom keeps bringing home all sorts of gelato and ice cream, and I, for one, have not minded one bit.
“Well, what do you have to worry about? Reed’s not going to get pregnant. She’s already in love with Daisy, and the feeling seems to be mutual. I still can’t believe you got to watch her have her first kiss!”
“Me neither.” I snort. “It was adorable, too. Way better than the fumbling first kisses I had with Cole at sixteen.”
“You’re lucky she gave you ‘til age sixteen. Most kids are making out years earlier than that. Reed’s a good, trustworthy kid. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Time for her to spread her wings, you know?”
I feel tears gather in my eyes, my heart breaking at the thought of being without Reed for two months and two weeks.
“Why’s it gotta be so hard letting ‘em leave the nest?” I wipe my tears.
“Aw, honey. You and Reed have a bond deeper than most mothers and teens. You two have been each other’s worlds since Cole passed. Maybe it’s a good thing that you have some time and space away. Hey, who knows? Maybe you’ll find yourself…” Mallory pauses dramatically, “...writing again?”
“A girl can dream. The truth is, as I’ve been sitting around being pampered over the last month, I’ve dreamed up some ideas for the final book of my series.
Only, I’m not sure it’s the final book. I think…
and God, I hope I don’t jinx it by saying this but.
..I might have another one or two in me.
” A smile spreads to my face. “I want to see what Kai and her friends are up to after the end of the world again.”
Mallory claps and whoops enthusiastically.
“Yes, girl! Yes! I knew the words had to return at some point. So, why are you still talking to me? Go pull up a blank document and let the words spill out. Kai hasn’t gone away for a reason.
She’s part of you, and you’re meant to finish this series. Your fans will lose their shit!”
I wipe a tear. God damn all this crying I’m doing, but my emotions have been running the gamut. “Thank you for your faith in me. I’ll follow your advice. I think I’m finally ready.”
When I sit down at my laptop and pull up my familiar old word processor, the words begin to tumble out like they’d been in there waiting all along.
Maybe they had been there, just hiding somewhere I couldn’t access them, and now there’s a portal open to that dimension.
It’s such a relief to see words appear out of nothing again, to have my muse returned to me.
I thank the universe as I compulsively hit “save.”
Dom arrives home to find me typing away, and then a couple of hours later, he drops dinner at my desk—a barbecued turkey sandwich and chips—and he disappears. When I look up next, it’s midnight, and Dom is already lightly snoring in our bed. I missed giving him a goodnight kiss.
I crack my knuckles, tired from typing, and I ignore the blue letters of the clock scolding me. After losing this part of myself for so long, all I want to do is keep writing.
Before I know it, Dom’s alarm goes off, and he sits up in bed.
“Honey, tell me you went to bed at some point.” His voice is thick with sleep.
“Don’t think so,” I reply, bleary eyes never leaving the laptop screen.
“I’ll call Mal and let her know she’s going to have to wait another day.” Dom gets up, kisses my head, and then he grabs my face to kiss me deeply. “I need your body, baby. Need to feel you come for me. Later?”
I kiss him back with enthusiasm and nod. “Absolutely. Just let me finish this.”
He glances over my shoulder. “Page three hundred? You’ve written three hundred pages already?”
“Double-spaced, no biggie.”
“Well, don’t let me interrupt you. I’ll bring your coffee and a yogurt. Don’t forget to drink some water and stretch occasionally.” Dom kisses the top of my head and disappears.
I type “The End” at noon, and, though this book is shorter than the first several, I celebrate with bubbly Moscato, standing alone at my kitchen sink.
It’s only then that exhaustion kicks in, and I dip my head forward and massage the back of my sore neck.
As tired as I am, all I can think about is the next adventure Kai’s going to go on with her Golden Retriever, boyfriend, and twin sister in the next book.
Before I take a long afternoon nap, I dial an old number into my phone.
“Lainey Hoffman, please.” I tap my fingernails on the countertop as I wait for the familiar voice I haven’t heard in nearly three years.
“Go for Lainey.”
“Lainey? It’s Este. Remember me?” I ask my old publisher.
She shrieks and, near as I can figure it, drops or throws the phone because all I hear is clunking and loud static as she picks it up and shouts, “Plumeria fucking East?”
I giggle as she recites my pen name. “In the flesh.”
“Oh my God, Plum. Tell me everything. Delight me!”
Swallowing the lump of emotion in my throat, I feel tears gathering in my eyes at her familiar expression I’ve missed so much.
“Well, I hope it delights you to know that I’ve just written a full-length novel about Kai and her friends surviving the end of the world, and it’s not even the final book.
I think I have a couple more in me before I wrap it up.
Now I can confidently tell you that there are more dystopian adventures ahead! ”
Lainey exclaims, “Holy motherfuckin’ shitballs, Batman!” and squeals happily.
“I knew you could do it,” Lainey finally tells me. Her faith in me makes my heart swell with pride, and I beam out my kitchen window like a weirdo.
“It’s a rough draft. Probably needs work,” I admit as I sip my bubbly.
“Send it to me yesterday, girl! Your series is my favorite I have ever worked on. I’m eager to read it. I’ll even clear my schedule and cancel my nail appointment.”
We both laugh, and I ask her to give me a few minutes to send it.
“You’ll sign another contract with me, won’t you?” Lainey asks after we catch up with some small talk, and I tell her all about Dom.
“You’re the first person I called. Who else would I sign with? Nobody is more capable of getting Kai back out to the world than you.”
“You know you’re going to have to tour, right?
Here’s how I visualize it. First, we’ll re-release the old novels!
Get this! We can do new, limited-edition covers, sprayed edges, and colorful, eye-catching pages.
We’ll do two for each—one featuring realistic characters and the other using beautiful, discreet covers that are all the rage right now.
Oh, and we could even do a box set! I’ll generate a huge buzz leading up to all of this, and you should start a blog in the meantime.
Oh my God, we can do a huge release party in New York City! I’ve got a great contact there.”
An ecstatic Lainey throws out all her ideas for my beloved series, and I just stand in my kitchen grinning and giggling with joy.
I can’t wait to share it with Dom.
But first? This author slash office manager extraordinaire needs a nap.
I’m almost disoriented by the time I crawl in, and I sleep until five p.m. Shortly after, Dom gets home, and I share my happiness with him while Reed joins Daisy and her family for dinner and an overnight.
Meanwhile, Dom and I fuck for hours without inhibition and no concerns about upsetting the patch in my nose that should be fully healed by now.
Everything has fallen into place so beautifully. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
The following day, I go to work and visit with my co-workers who have missed me since my surgery. The whole time, I’m outlining my next book in my head, barely managing to follow conversations because my mind is racing.
At noon, Lainey phones me, and I step out front to take the call.
“A cliffhanger?” Lainey practically screams. “You could not have set that up better for the next book! You used to be so anti-cliffy. What’s changed? What have you done with the Plum I know and love?”