Chapter Sixteen
Fame was a strange thing.
For fifteen years, Raven had been recognized everywhere she went.
Airports, restaurants, Tesco Metro at two in the morning when she just wanted crisps and wine.
Paparazzi lurking outside her flat. Journalists calling her manager for quotes about everything from her latest album to her opinion on Brexit.
Then she'd come to Bankton specifically to escape all that, to be anonymous and left alone.
And now, somehow, being mistaken for a criminal outside a primary school had made her infamous in the village.
"Morning, Raven!" Daisy called out, bouncing past with her post bag. "Lovely day, isn't it?"
"Is it?" Raven squinted at the gray October sky.
"Oh, absolutely! Any day without rain is a gift, that's what I always say." Daisy beamed at her.
Raven shook her head and kept walking, hands shoved deep in the pockets of her leather jacket.
The corner shop owner had nodded at her when she bought coffee that morning.
Gloria Cunningham had actually stopped mid-sentence during one of her dramatic monologues yesterday to say hello. Even the dustman knew her name now.
It was unsettling.
But also… not entirely terrible.
Which was even more unsettling.
She was heading toward the pub, ready for the two beers she was going to allow herself after writing for twenty minutes and staring into space for four hours, when she spotted Jamie Long sitting alone on a bench in the village square.
The kid looked miserable.
Raven's first instinct was to keep walking. She had no business getting involved in whatever was making an eight-year-old look like the world was ending. She was a rockstar, not a social worker.
But then she remembered how he'd smiled when she'd taught him those guitar chords. How he'd actually looked happy for the first time since she'd met him.
Bollocks.
She crossed the square and sat down at the other end of the bench.
"Hey."
Jamie looked up, surprised. "Hi, Ms. Raven."
"Just Raven's fine." She pulled out her phone and pretended to check it, giving him space to either talk or not. "You alright?"
He shrugged.
"Fair enough." Raven pocketed her phone. "Stupid question anyway."
That got a tiny smile.
They sat in silence for a moment. A few villagers walked past, and Raven caught them glancing over with that look people got when they recognized her but weren't quite sure what to do about it. She ignored them.
"Do you think…" Jamie started, then stopped.
"Think what?"
"Do you think you could teach me more guitar?"
Raven studied him. He was gripping the edge of the bench like he expected her to say no.
"Yeah," she said. "I could do that."
His whole face lit up. "Really?"
"Yeah. Come by the cottage sometime this week. We'll work on some proper chords."
"That would be brilliant." He was actually grinning now, which made something warm and uncomfortable bloom in Raven's chest.
Christ. She was getting soft.
"Home still rough?" she asked, immediately regretting it. What was she doing?
But Jamie had already answered, his smile fading. "Yeah. Mum and Dad are… they're separating. Officially now."
"Shit." Raven winced. "Sorry. I mean… that's rough, kid."
"Yeah." Jamie kicked at the ground.
Raven had no idea what to say. Her own childhood had been a parade of foster homes and social workers, which was its own kind of mess, but different from this. She couldn't exactly offer advice on navigating divorced parents when she'd never had parents to begin with.
"Music helps," she said finally. "When things get loud or overwhelming. Just… put on headphones and play something. Or learn something. Gives your brain somewhere else to go."
Jamie nodded slowly. "Yeah."
"Right." She took a breath. "School alright?"
"Yeah." He looked at her with half a grin. "Ms. Swift helps. I feel safe at school. Happier."
"Yeah?" Raven tried to ignore the small spike of… something… at hearing Annabelle's name. "That's good."
"She set up this whole buddy system for me. So I always have someone to talk to." Jamie's expression changed, and Raven caught something that looked almost like guilt.
There was a 'but' hanging in the air. Raven could hear it. "But?" she prompted.
Jamie squirmed. "But it's kind of… a lot? Like, there's always someone asking how I'm doing or if I want to talk or trying to include me in things. And I know they want to be nice, but sometimes I just want to be left alone, you know? I don't need people talking to me all the time."
Raven knew exactly what he meant. It was the same feeling she got when Gloria insisted on enthusiastic greetings or when Daisy appeared with yet another cheerful observation about the weather.
"That sounds exhausting," she said.
"It is." Jamie looked relieved. "But I don't want to tell Ms. Swift because she worked really hard on it and she'd be sad if she knew I didn't like it."
There it was. The kid was suffering in silence because he didn't want to hurt Annabelle's feelings.
Raven recognized that impulse. She'd spent years not telling Alissa how much the on-again-off-again bullshit was destroying her, because she didn't want to rock the boat.
Look how well that had turned out.
"I'll handle it," Raven said.
Jamie's eyes widened. "Really? You don't have to."
"I know I don't have to." She stood up. "Come by when you want for your first lesson, yeah? Bring a notebook if you want to write things down."
"Thanks." He was grinning again, all gangly eight-year-old enthusiasm.
"Don't mention it." She started to walk away, then paused. "And Jamie? It's okay to need space. Doesn't make you ungrateful or weird. Just makes you human."
She didn't wait for his response. She just shoved her hands back in her pockets and headed toward the pub.
THE PUB WAS bustling when she walked in.
"Raven." Arty looked up from where he was wiping down the bar. "Didn't expect to see you tonight."
"Why not?" she asked suspiciously.
"Karaoke night." His mouth twitched. "Should be entertaining."
"Shit."
She looked around. The pub had been transformed. A small stage had been set up in the corner, complete with a microphone and a slightly battered sound system.
Gloria was holding court near the stage, wearing a sequined jacket.
Daisy was bouncing from table to table, showing everyone something on her phone.
And there, sitting at a corner table with Lily, was Annabelle.
She looked tired. Actually tired, not just her usual slightly-frazzled-but-determinedly-cheerful self. There were shadows under her eyes, and her smile didn't quite reach the rest of her face.
"You don’t have to sing," Arty said, passing her a beer.
"Yeah," said Raven, thinking that there was no way she’d sing in a place like this. "I got things to do, anyway." She gave him a nod and made her way through the crowd to Annabelle’s table. "Can I talk to you?"
Annabelle looked up, and her expression brightened slightly. "Raven, I didn't know you'd be here."
"Didn't know it was karaoke night," Raven said. "Can we talk? Outside?"
Lily gave her a look that Raven couldn't quite read, something between curious and protective. "I'll save your seat."
They stepped outside into the cool evening. The high street was quiet, just a few lights glowing in cottage windows.
"Is everything alright?" Annabelle asked. "You look serious."
"I ran into Jamie just now."
Her face lit up. "Oh, was he alright?"
"That's what I need to talk to you about."
Annabelle lifted an eyebrow. "What?"
Raven took a breath. This was exactly the kind of emotional conversation she was terrible at, but she'd promised the kid. "The buddy system. It's too much. Jamie says he feels overwhelmed by it, that he doesn't need people talking to him all the time."
Annabelle's expression crumbled. "What?"
"He's uncomfortable. He appreciates that you care, but sometimes people just need space, not a whole support system."
"But I thought…" Annabelle wrapped her arms around herself. "I was trying to help. I thought if he had people around him, he wouldn't feel so alone."
"I know. But he doesn't want people around him constantly. He wants to be left alone sometimes. That's not a bad thing."
Annabelle looked stricken. "Did I make things worse?"
Raven wanted to lie, to soften it, but that wouldn't help anyone. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I think you did."
For a moment, Annabelle just stood there, and Raven wondered if she was about to cry. But then she straightened her shoulders and nodded.
"Okay. I'll end the buddy system tomorrow. I'll… I'll talk to him. Apologize."
"He doesn't want you to feel bad about it. He just wants it to stop."
"I understand." Annabelle's voice was steady, but Raven could see the hurt in her eyes. "Thank you for telling me."
"You’re welcome." Raven shoved her hands in her pockets.
They stood there for a moment in awkward silence. Raven felt like she should say something else, something comforting, but before she could figure out what that might be, the door to the pub burst open.
"There you are." Daisy appeared. "Karaoke's starting, come on."
Annabelle managed a smile. "We're coming."
They followed Daisy back inside, where Arty was setting up the equipment. The first few performers were exactly what Raven expected: enthusiastic villagers murdering perfectly good songs with genuine joy.
Gloria did a dramatic rendition of "Memory" from Cats that was somehow both terrible and captivating.
Some bloke whose name Raven didn't know attempted "Wonderwall" and got the entire pub singing along.
Then people started turning to look at Raven.
"Oh no," she muttered, she drained the rest of her beer. But Arty slid another in front of her.
"Come on, Raven!" someone called out. "Give us a song!"
"Not happening."
"Just one!"
"Please!"
Arty caught her eye from behind the bar and gave her an apologetic shrug.
"Nope," Raven said firmly.
The crowd groaned and Raven wondered if they might start throwing rotten fruit if she didn’t agree.
And then Annabelle stood up.
"I'll do one," she said brightly.
Lily grabbed her arm. "You don't have to—"
"It's fine!" Annabelle's smile was back in full force, possibly a bit too bright. "It'll be fun!"
She made her way to the stage. The crowd cheered, clearly delighted that their beloved teacher was participating.
"Right," Annabelle said into the mic. "I'm not very good at this, fair warning. But I think…" She scrolled through the song list on the ancient laptop connected to the system. "I think I'll do this one."
The opening chords started, and Raven's entire body went rigid.
It was Krimson Khaos.
Her song. One of the band's biggest hits. The one that had launched them into proper fame.
Annabelle started singing, and it was… awful.
She was off-key in at least three different ways. She didn't know half the words and was clearly making them up as she went. Her timing was completely wrong.
But she was grinning. Actually grinning, like this was the most fun she'd had in weeks. She was bouncing slightly to the beat, completely unselfconscious, throwing herself into the performance with abandon.
The pub was eating it up. People were clapping and cheering and singing along.
Raven sat frozen in her seat, caught between secondhand embarrassment and something else. Something warm and uncomfortable that was settling in her stomach and refusing to leave.
Annabelle hit what was supposed to be the song's climactic high note and instead produced something that sounded like a cat being stepped on. She laughed, actually laughed at herself, and kept going.
When the song finally ended, the pub erupted in applause. Annabelle took a theatrical bow and practically skipped back to her table, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright.
She caught Raven's eye as she sat down, and her smile faltered slightly.
"Sorry," she mouthed.
Raven should have been annoyed. Should have been mortified that someone had just butchered one of her most successful compositions in front of half a village.
But instead, all she could think about was what Jamie had said earlier.
Ms. Swift helps. I feel safe at school.
Raven watched Annabelle laugh at something Lily said, watched the way she lit up the entire table just by being there.
And she thought about Annabelle showing up at her door with biscuits and smiles and relentless positivity even when Raven was rude to her.
Thought about the way she'd defended Raven at the meeting, redirected Daisy's autograph requests without making Raven feel like an asshole.
Thought about dinosaur pajamas and earnest apologies and the determined belief that everything would work out if you just tried hard enough.
Annabelle was exhausting. Overwhelming. Endlessly cheerful in a way that should have been irritating. But she was also the sort of person who made you feel safe, even when you didn't realize that's what you'd been missing.
Raven picked up her pint and took a long drink, trying to ignore the way her chest felt too tight and too full at the same time.
This was a problem.
This was definitely a problem.