Chapter 14 Jane #2
The line goes quiet. For one awful moment, I hope she’s going to change her mind and congratulate me on the award.
“No. But I’m praying for you, Jane. I just know the Lord will reward me for my faithfulness and you’ll return to the church someday.
Jesus will give you more fulfillment than any of these meaningless earthly achievements. ”
I don’t even dignify that with a response. Instead, I hang up, seething.
With a sigh, I lean against the wall, trying to get my bearings. I bring my hand to my face and realize it’s wet.
Whirling around, I step over to the mirror to inspect the damage. It’s really not that bad, just a tiny smudge of mascara, and I use my pinkie to dab at the excess makeup. I could step into the bathroom to splash water on my face, but I’ve left Keeley alone enough already.
Instead, I throw my shoulders back and head to the table.
Fortunately, my drink has arrived. I reach for it without sitting down and take a long sip.
“You okay?” Keeley asks.
I blink hard. “Mom was calling me about Nora’s wedding? I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I thought…”
Keeley straightens. “Of course you did.” She sets her drink down, then rises to face me. She peers at my face and brings her thumbs to my still-damp cheeks. I close my eyes, leaning into her gentle touch. I want nothing more than to fall apart in this moment.
Because I’m here with Keeley, and I know she’ll catch me.
“Jane,” she murmurs.
Usually, I try to be stoic when it comes to my mom, but I’m so tired of this and can’t hold my feelings back any longer.
“I know, it’s ridiculous to think she was calling to, I don’t know, congratulate me?
Mom never does that. But this is a RECORD, you know?
It’s kind of a big deal.” I sniff, trying to keep a new wave of tears at bay.
“It’s a huge fucking deal. The hugest. You made it, Jane.”
Her hand falls to my elbow, and I press my arm into her fingers, taking the comfort where I can get it, my traitorous pulse racing despite my tears. “I just hoped…she’d be proud, for once. Isn’t that pathetic?”
“You’re not pathetic, Jane,” Keeley says.
She steps closer, lowering her voice as she tucks one of my curls behind my ear.
“You’re Jane fucking Mercer. You took this industry by storm.
You’re working on a hit show and you got nominated for a RECORD and even if none of that were true, you would still have so much to be proud of, because you’re you. ”
I sniff, letting out a sound that is part laugh and part sob. “You’re just saying that because I’m crying.”
“No, I’m not.” Her gaze locks on to mine, and I’m powerless to look away.
“Jane, you impressed me the day we first met at camp, and you’ve been doing it ever since.
You’re smart and talented and gorgeous as hell, and you work your ass off to persistently get better and make even more incredible art.
Anyone who doesn’t see all of the ways you shine is a fucking fool.
” She shakes her head, a small smile tugging at her mouth. “I’m constantly in awe of you.”
My breath catches at her words, and it hits me just how lucky I am to know this woman.
She cares fiercely and deeply and sees the best in me despite all the ways I fall short.
Keeley is just so good. She makes me want to believe anything can happen, and I know deep in my soul that I’ll never get over how remarkable it feels just to be close to her.
And I’m tired of hiding what I want.
So, even though I’m terrified that I’m crossing a point of no return, I step into her space. She doesn’t step away. She just licks her lips, glancing down at mine before staring back into my eyes.
Oh.
At the hunger in her gaze, my pounding heart throws my self-control out the window.
“There’s something going on here, right?
It’s felt like we’ve been dancing around each other for…
ever.” My mouth goes dry, but based on the way she’s looking at me, I feel like I won’t be able to breathe until I get this out.
“God, Keeley. Is this in my head? I don’t even know what to think anymore. ”
“Jane.” Keeley leans closer, impossibly close, so I can feel the warmth radiating off her skin. She lowers her voice so it’s only the softest, sweetest whisper. “It’s not in your head.”
My world spins, and it’s not from the bourbon. I know I want Keeley, and yet I’m still terrified of what might happen if we open ourselves to the possibility of us. But there’s no use resisting anymore. My desire for her is undeniable, and there’s only one response I have left:
“Please.”
Her chest heaves as she stares at me, the heat of her gaze setting me aflame. It feels like this moment is frozen in time, on the edge of something. All we have to do is jump.
It’s a race, a game, a dance. Like we’re both waiting to see who will step off the ledge first.
“Fuck it,” she says.
And then, before either of us can second-guess it, she reaches her hand to my jaw and pulls my mouth to hers.