Chapter 29 Jane
Jane
We have an emergency band meeting as soon as everyone is back in LA after the holiday. It’s at my house, because I’m trying to stay there again, but…I’m still not completely comfortable being alone. It’s nice to have the band with me.
The tension is thick where everyone huddles in the living room.
Valerie is fuming, chaotic, fiddling with her rings and the fringe on the pillow she’s holding in her lap.
Caleb is next to her on my sectional, stoic and solemn, one hand on his partner’s knee and the other clutching a mug of tea.
Riker is sulking, his arms crossed from his spot across from them.
And Keeley, well, leans against the wall, and I’ve never seen her this resigned.
She fought so hard for us to win back our masters, and now that chance is gone forever. It takes more restraint than I thought I possessed not to cross the space between us, wrap my arms around her, and tell her it’s going to be okay.
The thing is, I don’t know if that’s true.
I didn’t realize how much I wanted to gain control of our masters until we lost them.
All of my resistance about moving on with the band feels so inconsequential compared to what I have, in this room.
These four people who I feel so alive with when we make music together, who show up for me on the best and worst days of my life, who, time and again, prove to me that I’m not alone.
It’s perfect harmony. There is something so special about the Glitter Bats, and I was so scared to go all in just in case we lost it again. But I know now, with so much certainty, that I’m going to fight to get to keep making music with them.
With this family.
“Well…this is bullshit,” Valerie says, but no one has a response for that. She shifts in her seat, folding her legs into a pretzel as we fall into silence again. No one knows what to say.
The only consolation is that we held on to the money. We pooled enough that we could make our own album without a label, if we wanted to be that bold.
“Have you heard from Tonya?” Riker asks, finally acknowledging the neon elephant in the room.
Valerie lets out a huff, fluffing up her bangs. “She blocked my fucking number.”
“I, uh, also tried. It went to voicemail once, and then she blocked mine too,” Caleb says quietly.
“I’m not giving up. I want to say she can’t ignore me forever, but that’s giving my dear mother too much credit. I’m pretty sure she skipped off to Europe after taking everything from us.”
“I would like to fight Tonya Quinn,” Keeley mutters. “Landon Banks too. He all but told me she won the bid because of information from him, so I did some digging.” And then she smirks. “It turns out Landon has a bit of a gambling problem. I found that out from his ex-wife.”
“What?” Caleb demands. “When?”
“Last night, actually. She was looking for a discreet PI after her last one did nothing, and Riker’s contact took a surprisingly little amount of time to get the details.
It turns out the company is at risk of bankruptcy, and we were one of their biggest assets.
Landon needed the capital, so he not only sold our masters, but sold a huge share of Label Records a few days before the sale, while he was conveniently still overseas. ”
Riker beams. “I told you he could help.”
“Jesus Christ,” Valerie says. “Isn’t that…illegal?”
Keeley nods. “It just fucking might be fraud. I’m not sure what we discovered is enough to take him down, but his ex is hoping it’s enough to expose his shady dealings.”
“And you don’t think she’s just helping you out with an ulterior motive?” Caleb asks.
“No.” Keeley shakes her head. “He cheated her out of some family assets with a badly written prenup. This is personal for her too, and we’re hoping Landon was stupid enough to leave some loose ends. Tonya is certainly not discreet.”
Valerie nods. “Mom’s a big spender, but I can’t imagine her making this happen alone. It wouldn’t be the first time she conspired with Label for her own ends.”
I swallow, trying to phrase my next question carefully.
“Is there any appealing to Tonya? Would she maybe let us buy the masters from her?” What I don’t say is that even if she was open to it, her asking price would be astronomical.
Tonya knows how much we want this. Maybe she’s been planning to exploit that all along.
“I really doubt there’s any chance of getting through to her.” Valerie’s voice breaks, and Caleb pulls her into his shoulder as she blinks back tears.
“She’s been freezing us out since we didn’t invite her to our wedding,” Caleb says quietly.
“That makes no sense,” Riker says. “She wasn’t even in Vegas when you eloped.”
“Yeah, well, you know Tonya.”
Keeley scoffs. “Unfortunately, we do.”
Tonya assumes the worst in everyone, and holds grudges for the smallest of slights, so not being present at Valerie’s wedding is probably a hill she will die on for eternity.
“I really don’t think she’d sell them to us even if we offered her double what she paid,” Valerie says.
“And we don’t have that kind of money even if she’d take it.
We already went all in and still lost. And, well…
” She sniffs. “This is about the control she lost when we fired her. She’s also still mad at me for the boundaries I set last year.
I feel so helpless, but I’m truly sorry for the position I’ve put you all in. This is all my fault.”
“It’s not,” Keeley says. “Valerie, your mom fucking sucks, but you’re not responsible for her actions.
” Valerie flashes Keeley a small, grateful smile.
Valerie and Keeley have not always gotten along, but they have a bond all the same.
“I need you to trust me, Quinn. I don’t want you to be holding all of this pressure on your shoulders alone. We can figure this out together.”
“Hell yeah, we can,” Riker says. “But, uh, any ideas for how to do that? I’ll take anything.”
“Do we rerecord?” Valerie says, just as Caleb says, “I think we should make a new album.” They share a look, and Caleb just shrugs, threading his fingers through Valerie’s. The room falls silent, the only sound the wick of the vanilla candles I set out on the mantle.
“I think we should rerecord. If we make the masters worthless, Tonya loses, and it makes Landon look like a fool,” Keeley says.
“There’s some merit to that, but I think we should make a new album,” Riker says. “The best way to move on is to make something they can’t touch.”
Valerie groans and rolls her eyes. “Jane, you’re the deciding vote.”
“Are we really at that point?” Caleb asks. Valerie elbows him, but I nod. It feels like we’ve been dancing around the decision since that cease and desist. There are two different ways to move forward, and I agree with both sides of the argument.
If we make a new album, we get to make the music we want to make and have something of ours that Label Records can never touch.
Landon Banks can’t take credit for our success.
Tonya Quinn won’t see a dime. And it’ll be ours.
As a band, our philosophy has been to never put the notebooks down, to constantly learn and grow and get better, to always be ready for our next song.
With a new album, that’s what we get to do.
But…we worked so hard on Wanderlust, Bittersweet, and More to Say.
Some of it may be juvenile, but our lives changed making those albums, and they’re snapshots of how we felt at three distinct points in time.
With Wanderlust, we were teenagers with big dreams, just kids who knew nothing about the music industry but desperately wanted to make music that resonated with people.
With Bittersweet, we were in our early twenties, still basically kids getting our first taste of fame, simultaneously angry at how we were being treated like commodities but inspired that people all around the world wanted to celebrate our songs.
And with More to Say, we were fresh off a reunion after six years apart, older and wiser, more mature and seasoned and ready to take some big risks together that paid off.
It doesn’t feel right to leave those songs behind.
I know what to do.
“Let’s do both,” I say. Everyone stares at me, taken aback. “I know it’s a lot of work, but there’s no reason we can’t reclaim what’s ours and also look to the future.”
For the first time since she got here, Keeley’s eyes spark. “Are you sure? That’s a big commitment.”
“I’m sure,” I say. “I’m ready to commit to this.”
Something passes between us, and it doesn’t feel like I’m talking about the band.
Riker shrugs. “Sounds like a fucking plan. I’m in.”
Valerie nods. “Me too. I know schedules are tough, but this is worth it.”
Caleb brings their hands to his lips, kissing the back of Valerie’s. “Okay. As long as we can make it work, I’m in. We’ll have to find a new label, but I’m hoping that’s not too hard.”
We all look to Keeley, who is still looking right at me. “Nothing could keep me away.”
I really hope she’s not just talking about the band.
For the rest of the evening, we get to work, settling down in my music room with guitars and my new keyboard.
We go through all of the songs we’ve been writing over the past few months, and we talk about what a new album might look like.
Remarkably, “Too Much,” the song Valerie, Caleb, and Riker were cowriting, fits right in with “Possibilities,” even though Keeley and I avoid each other’s gazes while we play it for the others.
Then Valerie and Caleb pull out a notebook of ideas they’ve been working on ever since they got back together.
And it’s better than good. It’s incredible.
As the night winds down, we’re bleary-eyed but smiling, having retreated back to my living room. It’s late. But we’ve got the makings of a new album, and it gives me so much hope I just might burst.
“So we’re all set to meet with Wade and legal to talk about rerecording next week,” Riker says, gesturing with his phone. “But this feels good, doesn’t it?” He steps into his shoes and grabs his bag.
“It feels amazing,” Valerie says, her eyes watering as Caleb helps her into her leather jacket.
Keeley smiles, just a little, and it makes me go weak in the knees. “I love you assholes. You know that, right?”
Valerie beams, throwing her arms around Keeley, then Riker, then me. Something about tonight feels like old times, but also so much better, because we’re taking control of our own futures.
Together.
Keeley moves to reach for her sneakers, but the thought of her leaving makes panic surge through me. Before I can stop myself, I grab her wrist.
Her breath catches.
“Can you, uh, stay for a minute?” I ask.
Keeley blinks. “Uh, yeah. Of course.”
Caleb smirks as he leads Valerie out the door before she can say anything. Riker salutes on his way out, and I roll my eyes.
And then we’re alone in my house. For a moment, I just stare at her, speechless.
I know I’m the one who put this distance between us, so I need to be the one who closes it.
But all of the words fly out of my head as I look at this woman I care about so much.
Keeley looks as gorgeous as ever, even this casual in baggy jeans and that green sweater that I know is incredibly soft from the last time she embraced me in it.
My pulse races. I’m terrified of what comes next, worried I’ve hurt her too much to even hope there’s a path forward, but she makes me feel brave.
“Keeley, I…”
“Jane—”
We laugh as we cut each other off.
“You go,” she says softly, tucking a blond lock behind her ear, twisting one of her piercings as she does it. She’s nervous, and that alone is enough to make me want to throw my arms around her and tell her everything I’ve been holding in my heart.
So I do.
“I don’t want space. In fact, space is the literal last thing I want.” I take a steadying breath, praying to whomever is listening that I’m not too late. “I love you, and I’m sorry.”