Chapter 13
E LLIE
I toss and turn in bed, my mind spinning.
I can’t stop thinking about what Henry might’ve wanted to say to me. Was he going to ask me to go on a date with him? Did he plan to ask me what I was doing in his bedroom in the first place? Did he want to relive our kisses? I'm not certain I would have had the willpower to resist if Henry had planned to share his lips with mine... How I wish we could have talked to each other.
If only Eli hadn't gotten so riled up.
Why is Elijah acting so ferhoodled tonight? It isn't like my brother to be so brash. And I've never seen him angry with Henry before. Henry has been his best friend forever. Is he truly that upset about finding us kissing? Silly me, I thought he’d be thrilled that we were actually together. Well, not together , together. But after all the times Eli has suggested I give Henry a chance, I can't imagine why he would act in such a way. So, what is his problem?
I sit up in bed and slowly slip out from under the covers, trying not to wake my sisters, Anna and baby Emma, whom I share a room with. I’m clearly not going to be able to fall asleep. I may as well do some hand sewing. I tiptoe to my desk, ready to light the wick on my lamp.
A creak sounds from the floorboard outside my door.
Is someone sneaking out of the house? Elijah, perhaps? Does he have a secret girlfriend he's sneaking off to see? I know he has taken Betsy Mast home a couple times, but he doesn't seem to me to be all that serious about the relationship.
Taking care to avoid every creaky spot in the floor that has divulged my sleuthing in the past, I tiptoe to the door and open it just a crack.
Elijah's eyes widen the second he sees me. His finger flies to his lips in a hushing gesture, his eyes demanding I obey the order. He points to the staircase.
What can he possibly be doing?
I nod and follow him, careful to tiptoe around the squeaky floorboard that betrayed him. He reaches the top of the steps and pauses. Is he listening to make sure no one is awake before going downstairs?
I open my mouth to ask, but he shakes his head and cups a hand around his ear. Again, he points downstairs.
I crouch down beside him, stilling my thoughts and tuning my ear to the quiet voices downstairs.
“ Ach , I just don't know, Naomi.” It is Dat 's voice, and it sounds strained.
“ Gott will carry us through,” Mamm said this time.
“I know He will. I know. But what should we do about Ben's offer?”
I glance at Elijah. Could Dat be talking about our neighbor? “Ben Troyer?” I mouth silently.
Elijah nods.
Dat continues. “I don't want to give up more of our pastureland, but I don't know what else to do. We can sell the ten acres, and our cows will be alright. We won't have to downsize the herd like last time. The ten we have left will be enough for them. You know raising cattle has always been my dream. My legacy. I hate to give it up altogether.”
My eyes widen in shock. Is our situation that bad? We have to sell more land? My father already sold twenty acres to Ben Troyer last year, but he had said that would be enough to pay all the medical bills and get back on our feet. Had he lied about that? Or had he hoped that the money would be enough and been wrong?
Elijah props his elbows on his knees and clasps his fingers together. His knuckles turn white at the tight grip as he rests his forehead on his hands. He closes his eyes, listening close.
My pulse quickens at the evidence of Elijah's stress. What will we do?
“Is Elijah's money not enough to help with the medical bills?” Mamm asked.
“It helps, jah , it does. But not enough. And Isaac still has a few years yet before they’d hire him at the factory.”
A muscle twitches in Elijah's forehead and he turns his face toward the wall away from me, but not before I see the color drain from his expression. I know Dat 's words are devastating to him. Elijah quit the job he loved, working construction with Henry, six months ago. I suspect he took the job at the RV factory where Dat works to help out with the family finances. The construction work just didn't pay as much or give Elijah as many hours as the factory.
But that sacrifice wasn't enough.
Poor Elijah.
My mind scrambles for ideas to help. Maybe I can make more of my sewing creations to take to Trinkets and Treasures, the little boutique in town that allows me to consign my handicrafts. I can possibly add aprons or potholders or placemats or whatever else the owner, Missy, thinks might sell well to the tourists. Perhaps I can learn to crochet. I know there are books at the library that can teach me.
Or…or maybe I can get a job at the boutique. That's it! Surely Missy would hire me on! It wouldn't bring in much, but it could help. And maybe I can clean houses for some Englischers too. That's what Simon said his sister does to earn extra cash. If the Englischers live close enough, I can take my horse and won't have to spend any of my money on a driver.
“Maybe giving up the house would be best, then.” Mamm’s sigh is barely audible.
At Mamm's words, my blood runs cold. What? My gaze darts to Elijah, whose head swivels toward me. His shocked brown eyes mirror my own.
“ Ach , Naomi. I don't think I can sell my mamm and dat's house.” Even from all the way up the stairs, I can hear the pain in my father's voice. Tears spring to my own eyes at the thought. How can Mamm even suggest giving up our home?
“I know, schatzi .” Mamm 's tone is gentle, calming. “It would be hard. But we could be free of the second mortgage, at least. If we were to buy the Millers' old place, we could start fresh. It wouldn't be so bad.”
My nose wrinkles. Is my mother ferhoodled ? I can't imagine anyone, much less our family of eleven, living in that old rundown house. The place has been abandoned for the past ten years, since Ivan and Shelva Miller passed away and all their children moved out of state. I think I may have heard tell that the acreage is being leased to another member of the community for farmland, but other than that, the house and property surrounding it have remained untouched. I can't even begin to guess how much work the place will need just to be livable.
And what else did Mamm say? A second mortgage? What is a second mortgage exactly? I'll need to ask Elijah later when I get the chance.
I glance back at my brother. His face is so twisted it looks like he might be sick. I reach out and touch his hand, but he pulls it away and shakes his head. He squeezes his eyes shut tightly and leans his head back to rest on the wall behind him.
The knots forming in my stomach tighten. Is this what has Elijah so wound up lately? Did he already know about all this?
Dear God, please help my family. I don’t want us to lose our home. But I know Your will is best.
A short while later, our parents retire for the evening and all becomes silent downstairs. Elijah whispers to me, “We can talk tomorrow,” before sneaking back to his room. This time he remembers to step over the creaky floorboard.
I slip back into my own room. I look at my desk, but my mind is no longer focused on my sewing projects. I can't possibly concentrate enough to get anything done tonight. I crawl back into bed, taking care not to rustle the blankets. I lie still, relaxing my body into the mattress. My eyes stare at the dark ceiling above me, unseeing.
How can our situation be that bad? My heart breaks for my folks, for the pain I heard in their voices, for the burden they carry.
How can I be a help to my family in our time of need? Maybe I can contribute more money somehow. I determine here and now that I will talk to Missy about adding items to my inventory and ask her about working at the boutique. Anything I can do to help Mamm and Dat , I will.
“Elijah!” I call out to my brother the moment I spot him near the barn after work. It’s the first opportunity we have had to speak since everything that transpired last night.
Elijah sighs. “What is it, Ellie?”
“I want to talk about last night.”
“Say on.” I won’t allow his impatience to rile me up. I know he’s under a lot of stress. As the second oldest male in our family, he feels almost as responsible as Dat .
That’s why I’m glad he has hockey with the guys several evenings a week when the Yoders’ pond is frozen. It’s one of the ways he can relax and not think about all our burdens.
I glance around to make sure we're alone, before saying in an almost whisper, “Do you think we really might lose the house? Are things that bad?” Before he responds, I fold my arms over my chest and watch him closely. “And did you already know about all this?”
He rubs his palm over his forehead. “Yes, Ellie, I knew. About some of it anyway. I overheard a similar conversation Dat had over the phone at work yesterday with Ben Troyer. It sounded like Ben was trying to convince Dat to sell him more land. Dat was trying to talk him into offering a higher price.” Elijah shrugs.
“And what about the house?”
Eli sighs and shakes his head. His eyes are fixed on his boots, as though he can't bear to meet my gaze. “I didn't know they are thinking about selling the house, but I did know about the second mortgage and the medical bills.”
I reach out and touch his arm. “What can we do?”
His pained eyes meet mine. “I wish I knew, Ellie. I've tried everything I can think of. I thought working with Dat at the factory would be enough.”
“I know it helps, Eli. And I'm going to see if I can work at the boutique to earn some money.”
“Will Mamm and Dat let you?”
I nod, then plop down onto a bale of hay. “I talked to Mamm about it today. In fact, I was wondering if we could drive into town and stop at the store before we go to Henry's tomorrow night for hockey.”
Elijah's eyes narrow as he brushes Duke. “I'm not certain you should be going anywhere near Henry Yoder.”
“That’s enough , Elijah. You’re my brother, not Dat . I can be around Henry if I so choose. And besides, what do you have against him all of a sudden? I thought you wanted me to like him.”
“Is that what's happening here? Now you like Henry?” Elijah crosses his arms, a smug look on his face.
“I…well, I…I don't know how I feel about Henry. Not exactly. But he's not a bad guy.” I can hardly believe the words coming from my own mouth. “Besides that, he's your best friend. Why are you so mad at him all of a sudden?”
“I don't know, maybe because I don't know if I can trust Henry. Maybe because I saw him in a compromising position with my little sister. My sister, might I add, who has hated him for years. So, I figure either he's made passes at you before and that’s why you didn’t want to ride with him, or you know about something else he's done that I don't know about.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “So, which is it?”
“He hasn't made any passes at me, Elijah. I mean, he did kiss me on our buggy ride, which you already know about. But, for the most part, Henry has been nothing but gentlemanly to me.” Jah , I actually said those words. Who am I and what have I done with myself?
Well, other than when he deceived me into thinking I was going on a buggy ride with Simon, when it was Henry driving. Or when he tossed me over his shoulder in the cornfield. Or when he...I clear my thoughts with a shake of my head. Elijah doesn't need to know about everything . If he did, for sure and certain, he wouldn’t let poor Henry within a hundred yards of me.
“If Henry’s never done anything to you, then why have you always hated him?” But by Elijah’s look, he isn't buying my explanation. “Help me understand.”
I sigh, pulling out a long piece of straw from the bale I’m sitting on. “I know it’s going to sound silly to you. But Henry stole my lunch from me when I was in fourth grade.”
“What?” Elijah frowns. “That's it? That's what you've been so bitter about?”
“It was a special lunch, though. Mamm packed it for me. It had barbecue chips and an apple and everything. Even a whoopie pie.”
“Oh.” Eli nods. I know he understands the significance of getting such treats in a school lunch when we were kinner .
“I know it's silly to hold onto that memory, especially when it's been so long, but it's hard to forget.” I shrug.
“ Nee , I remember Henry back then. He wasn't always nice to be around. But he's really not like that anymore, Ellie. He's changed. Especially with his dat passing away a couple years ago. He's grown up.”
My heart aches at the thought of Henry losing his father, remembering the heartfelt words he had poured out into his journal. For sure and certain, the loss hit him hard.
“ Jah , I know,” I answer quietly.
I stand from the hay bale and observe the gentle way Eli cares for his horse. Then I consider the way he cares for his family. He’ll make a good husband and father someday.
The half-grin on Elijah’s face is the first one I’ve seen since he took a bite of Henry’s whoopie pie. “I’ll tell you what, Ellie. I will smooth things out between me and Henry, if you can forgive him. You know the poor guy has been pining over you for years now.”
For some reason, that thought doesn't irritate me like it used to. In fact, the idea of Henry Yoder pining after me actually warms my insides. I know Eli is right. I should give him a chance. And, remembering his heart-stopping kisses I can't seem to stop thinking about, I suddenly realize I might just be pining after Henry as well.
I notice Elijah's hand sticking out in front of me. I grasp it and we shake on it. “Alright, I'll do my best to forget the past.” I nod and smile at my brother, glad to have cleared the air between us.
“Just no more making out in his bedroom, please.” Eli gives me a wry grin. “There's only so much a brother can witness without wanting to throw punches.”
I tuck my head, a blush heating my cheeks at the memory.
“No promises, big brother.” Laughing, I duck away from the stall entrance as Elijah groans and tosses a curry comb at me.