Chapter 20
H ENRY
This is the happiest day of my life.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure that Ellie Petersheim would ever agree to riding with me. But here we are.
I’m having a difficult time wearing any other expression than a gigantic smile. Seriously. I can’t seem to wipe it off my face.
But I need to reel my emotions in. Because now that Ellie is finally sitting here next to me, I don’t want to scare her off. I can already tell that she’s as skittish as a newborn colt. I need to be smart and keep my wits about me.
I pull up to the hitching post by the barn and I notice my hands are trembling. Get it together, Yoder.
“Here we are.” I train my voice, doing my best to sound nonchalant. But I’m anything but. This is the most momentous night of my life. And if I mess it up…
No, I’m not going to go there. I need to believe this is all going to go according to plan. A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
“Ach, I know, Lord.” I mumble.
“What was that?” Ellie glances my way.
“ Ach , just praying.” I wave my hand in front of my face and shake my head. “Just ignore me. I’m feeling a little ferhoodled , if you must know.”
“ Jah , you and me both.”
“Good. Then I guess we’ll be ferhoodled together.” I chuckle and she smiles.
I like smiles. Smiles are good.
I reach for her hand and help her down from the buggy, which puts her directly in front of me. A floral scent finds its way to my nostrils, and I realize she may have dabbed on a little perfume. For me .
That little fact has my mind flipping cartwheels. It shouldn’t, but my heart begins an erratic beat. But I need to reel it in.
When our gazes meet, I come to my senses and step back. Because the last thing I want is to do something stupid like scare her off by kissing her right off the bat. Jah , I am hoping for a buss , but I feel like I need to earn it first.
After securing Pistol, my mare, I reach for Ellie’s hand. “ Kumm .”
I point toward the barn opening. I’ve kept it mostly closed so it won’t be too cold. I made sure to clean out all the stalls yesterday and lay fresh straw, so the stench isn’t overbearing. But being raised on a farm, Ellie should be as used to this as I am. I was tempted to add air freshener, but that just seemed weird. Barns aren’t supposed to smell like crisp linen sheets, or whatever the spray mamm uses is called.
As soon as we step inside, darkness engulfs us. Like second nature, I reach for my headlamp I keep on a wall peg just inside. I hand Ivy’s headlamp to Ellie.
Immediately, we’re bathed in light, and she smiles.
My heart is pinging all over the place. Ellie Petersheim has to be the prettiest girl ever. And she chose to ride with me tonight. Denki, Gott.
“It’s in the loft.” I point upwards and start climbing. “Follow me.”
I would allow her to ascend the wooden ladder first, but she’s wearing a dress, and somehow, me being behind her just feels wrong. At the same time, if she were to slip and fall, I’d feel guilty for not being there to catch her. It’s a lose-lose situation, really.
Now, if we were married, I’d relish the chance to walk up behind her. Then her wearing a dress and her hips swaying and driving me wild in the process wouldn’t be an issue. Ach . I shake my head to clear my thoughts.
“ Ach , what is this?” The pleasure in her tone, although hesitant, warms me from the inside out.
I beckon her to follow me inside the cozy enclosure. I worked all afternoon moving hay bales to create a little cove around the quilt I laid for our picnic. In the middle of the quilt sat Mamm’s largest roasting pan.
“Sit.” I invite her to sit on one of the pillows I snagged from my bed.
She does and I sit across from her with the closed roasting pan between us. “Are you warm enough? I brought the lap robe up.”
I hand it to her, and she places it over her lap. “That’s better.”
“Okay, before I open this, I need to explain. I talked to your brother the other day and he mentioned something to me.” I take her hands in mine and meet her cautious, beautiful eyes. I take a deep breath, suddenly feeling nervous. “Ellie Petersheim, I was a real jerk back in fourth grade when I stole your lunch. It was wrong in so many ways. And you don’t know how many times I’ve kicked myself since discovering why you’ve hated me all these years. I wish I had known sooner so I could have apologized. But I didn’t. So, I’m apologizing right now.”
I try to read her expression, but her thoughts are hidden from me. I press on. “Will you please, please forgive me for being such a dummkopp ?”
I hold my breath in anticipation.