Chapter Seven #2
When my hand physically cramped, my fingers twitching from the pain, I was forced to stop. I would take a quick break to shower and then come back. I had more questions I needed to write down. I also needed to decide who I was going to ask for help.
Not pack Wilder. Not at first.
Maybe Hannah and her alphas? They weren’t lawyers, but Sebastian was a scientist, and he came from a renowned family. Surely, he had connections. Although I doubted I could afford a lawyer that expensive. Of course, there was also the fact that bringing this up would definitely upset Hannah.
She wasn’t so fragile that I thought she would fall into a puddle of despair.
No, not Hannah. She’d be furious. She’d want to help—maybe too much—simply out of spite toward Representative Adam.
I could also admit that I was worried this was exactly what he wanted.
Knowing my relationship with Hannah, he could simply be using me to draw her back out into the attention of the public to sling mud at her.
I wouldn’t allow that. Even this so-called investigation reeked of what I’d done to protect Hannah.
If I had to be punished for it—so be it.
I had broken the rules. I’d deleted the account that had already been made on her. That was against the rules, even if the reason the account had been made was wrong to start with.
The best I could do was to keep coming up with questions. Keep jotting down everything I thought of. Oh, I also needed to write out in my own words exactly what happened. And look into lawyers.
I started my shower, hurrying to write down my last few plan ideas while the water heated up.
Anxiety bubbled in my stomach, making me bite the inside of my cheeks as more and more plans came to me.
I tried to write faster, not wanting to forget a single thing while the sound of the pounding water against the tile acted as a soundtrack of my impending doom.
I worried I’d miss the best possible solution if I didn’t write down all of them.
Long minutes passed and sweat started to drip down my forehead and down my spine as I realized I was still writing, my shower still running.
I shut it off. Once I wrote down everything, then I could shower and go to bed. If I tried to stop, I would just keep thinking about it over and over. I would probably even rush out of the shower or get out of bed to write down more of what I was thinking.
The longer it took to jot down everything, the worse my handwriting became. I was scribbling to try and get all my questions and thoughts down before I forgot them.
Even worse, the adrenaline didn’t help keep me awake. The later it became, the more often I yawned. My eyes were heavy, and I struggled to keep them open, but my brain wouldn’t turn off. I couldn’t get a moment to stop worrying. Minutes turned to hours before I ran out of words to string together.
I still had to do all my nighttime routine to get to bed.
Needless to say, I got maybe four hours of sleep that night. Being generous.
When I woke the next morning, it was with dread. I didn’t feel rested at all. In fact, I felt worse, as if sleeping had made me more tired, which I knew wasn’t true. It was the exact advice I gave to alphas in a heat—sleep when you could. Even an hour or two was better than no sleep at all.
Still, my arms felt heavy, making it impossible and slow to get ready.
I had to take a break when I was doing my hair because I couldn’t stand lifting my hands over my head for so long while also keeping the intense concentration on the mirror to ensure I was doing it right.
My fingers shook as I tried to do my makeup, the ability to do minute, detail work feeling impossible.
I was constantly yawning, my eyelids desperate to close for even a moment of relief.
And that moment was relief. I could have fallen asleep standing up and it would’ve been the best sleep of my life. I was sure of it.
I didn’t have coffee, and I was pretty sure nothing would be open this early, so I filled a water bottle with as much ice as I could before turning on the tap. With any luck, if I sipped on the cold drink, it would wake me up.
My slow movements had wasted away my breakfast time. And a few minutes of my driving time.
I grabbed a quick to-go breakfast, which was just a little smoothie drink, and pretended like it didn’t take all my energy to uncap and drink it all the way to my car. Frankly, it did help a little, but waking up more meant my brain started to function, and that was when the reminder came.
I was being investigated by Representative Adam and the Omega Compound.
The reminder was a blow to the gut making me feel even weaker.
Maybe it would amount to nothing? The semi-positive thought didn’t even manage a temporary foothold before it was gone.
No, neither Adam nor the OC would risk running an investigation unless they were already sure of the outcome.
The OC wouldn’t want to waste resources and Adam was a dick who didn’t like to lose. Especially not to an omega.
The fact that a beta helped her was probably what put me in his sights.
It was smart. Hannah’s alphas not only had powerful and kind personas to the public, they would do anything to protect their omega. As they should.
Me on the other hand? My support system was shaky, if existent at all. I’d thought I was too small a fish to fry and fulfill his appetite but maybe I’d underestimated his ego. A true shock.
Driving through the city when I was tired wasn’t as bad as when I hit the town limits.
The city was bright, even in the night, with streetlamps every few feet and signs glowing even if the shops were closed.
There was even a window or two already lit, either with late nighters still going or early risers just starting.
But when I left the city, the signs stopped appearing.
Shortly after that, the streetlamps became widely separated, and then they disappeared completely.
I turned the air as cold as I could handle it, helping to keep me awake. I even turned on some music, even though it ruined the quiet atmosphere and I was sure anyone outside my car could have heard it, it was so loud.
Better safe than sorry.
I knew that if I pulled over, I could have easily fallen asleep in my car. Just the thought was tempting but I wouldn’t be late. Once I got to work, I’d feel more awake, I was sure of it.
By the time I parked, I was only a few minutes late, which was fine since I always showed up a few minutes early, which meant I was right on time.
I sent the text to Oaks letting him know I’d arrived and then told myself I’d get out of my car in a minute. I’d turned down the cold air and music as soon as I arrived, and the quiet darkness was a temptation I couldn’t ignore.
Just a minute.
Less than that. A moment.
I needed just a moment.
A moment.
A mo—
A knock jerked me awake, the adrenaline in my system making me instantly alert as I tried to get my mind to comprehend where I was and what was happening.
I was in my car. I must have accidentally fallen asleep.
Oaks was outside my window, the sound of him pulling on my door handle a slight thud in the silent night.
Unlocking the car, I didn’t even have time to grab my purse before Oaks was throwing open the door, making me flinch against the sudden light, a yawn breaking my jaw as I tried to greet him.
“Well, good morning, darlin. Sleep well?” He cocked his head to the side at whatever he saw on my face. “Or not. You all good? You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night.”
I felt like it, too. “I’m fine. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” While on their property, I needed to act employed, and sleeping in my car was not what an employee should do. “I’m ready to go now.”
Oaks barely backed up, which meant I felt the doorjambs against my calves once I’d stepped out. “Um, Oaks. Are you all right?”
He was staring at me, the small amount of light coming from the cab of his truck and my car, covering his face in a mix of light and shadows. I could just make out his frown. “You’re wearing descenter.”
“Oh.” I had no idea what to say to that. I hadn’t purposefully put it on this morning. I must have been so tired that I’d used it out of habit more than anything else.
Oaks reached out, his hand cupping my face, the warmth from his touch making my eyes close. I sagged into him, more than he obviously expected since he almost stumbled back a step at the sudden weight.
I should have pulled back. Should have regained my composure, but it felt impossible.
Oaks felt so safe. So warm. I wanted to wrap myself around him and let him protect me, lay all my burdens down at his feet so he could help me bear them.
He was so strong, so smart, I knew he’d be able to.
If I just told him about the letter, maybe he’d know a lawyer that could help.
After all, if he had this business and Atlas had the ranch, some type of lawyer had to have been involved in helping them with that, right?
“Darlin? What’s going on?” His other hand came up to cup my face as he tilted my head back to meet his gaze.
My lips parted. No words came.
Even if I could get pack Wilder’s help, I was too fucking embarrassed to ask.
Even if they did believe me, this whole thing would taint the way they looked at me.
I wouldn’t be their perfect beta anymore.
They didn’t truly know me well enough. This investigation would ruin the version of me that they were familiar with. I wouldn’t risk that.
I shook my head. “Nothing. Just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” I tried to pull away, giving him a small smile that I hoped didn’t look self-deprecating. “We should go. Once I start moving, I’ll wake up properly.”
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
I was sure I was definitely not all right. “Absolutely.”