20. Chapter 20
Evan
“So, do you not ever have normal relationships? Like, without all the BDSM role play stuff?”
It felt like a fair question to ask, but regret burrowed a pathway to Evan’s chest nonetheless.
What was defined as normal these days anyway?
They had long since concluded that they hadn’t had a “normal” childhood growing up.
But Frankie didn’t look at all offended by the question.
In fact, she reached across the table and patted Evan’s hand.
“It’s okay. There are no wrong questions here. And no, I don’t. Not for … perhaps ever.” A faint smile touched Frankie’s lips, but Evan couldn’t decipher its cause.
“Why not?”
Frankie shrugged. “Many reasons. I prefer to remain in control in the bedroom. I love giving to my partner, and having a sub allows me to take things deeper. I get off on their pleasure. It entices me to see bruises on their skin after a scene that I put there. I love knowing I control their pain or pleasure, but also that they’ve put their trust in me enough to give me permission to do so.
I love rules, pet names, and safe words. ”
“And restraints.”
Evan thought of the restraint-based adult-sized toys hidden away in the guest room closet. Not allowing subs the freedom of movement seemed to be a kink of Frankie’s too. It should sicken Evan, but instead, their traitorous body responded wholeheartedly to the idea of them being the one restrained.
“Being restrained turns you on.” Frankie’s soft gaze was knowing, and the glaring fact she was the enemy blurred even more.
She didn’t seem like a killer. The index finger tracing soothing circles across Evan’s hand certainly didn’t feel like it once pulled a trigger to kill Caleb.
She was just … Frankie. A fierce personality bursting with passion and sensuality and an ample figure Evan craved like there was no tomorrow.
They didn’t have a lot of experience giving, as they somehow attracted dominant lovers, and had never truly cared one way or another.
But Frankie made them want to fall to their knees and spread her thighs open.
Cool it. She literally just said she didn’t like that.
“Maybe.” Evan licked their lips, looking away. For a moment, they studied the minimalist furnishings around Frankie’s apartment, their gaze finally landing on the four-by-six picture of Frankie and McCoy together. A bitter taste filled their tongue. “What would we be to each other if we did this?”
“Well, speaking in a broad sense, there are plenty of Dominants and submissives who navigate open relationships, or never label themselves as anything more outside the bedroom.” A sigh left Frankie, and when Evan turned back, she was also looking at the picture of her and McCoy.
“I tried that, and it didn’t work well for me, Evan.
Letting someone in is hard for me, and I don’t think casual suits my life anymore. ”
“You mean being exclusive?” Their eyes met, and Frankie watched them so long that Evan began to squirm. They pulled their hand away and pushed their glasses up on their nose.
“Yes, but more than that. If you’re truly interested in what I have to offer, and I think you are, I suggest we start on a trial basis. Get to know each other better outside of the bedroom first.”
“So, no sex?” Evan’s shoulders slumped. How could they navigate a relationship with Frankie when their life was nothing but a web of lies and deceit? On the other hand, it would enable Evan to get closer to Frankie and uncover all her secrets.
“I don’t want just sex anymore, little thief.
I want to be more than a body to someone.
” Frankie swallowed, her gaze dropping to where her hand still rested on the table.
She pulled it away, tucking it with the other one on her lap.
“I want a partner that’s just mine. I’m tired of sharing and then losing them.
If practicing kink and getting off is all you want, then I’m the wrong person. ”
“What, no, I …” Evan hesitated, allowing Frankie’s words to sink in.
Hadn’t sex been the only thing on their mind when it came to the two of them together?
Entertaining anything longer in Evan’s predicament was not only foolish but unrealistic.
If they failed, Cecil would just take Frankie out himself, and Evan had a feeling their stepfather wasn’t exactly the merciful type.
No, dying would be the least of Frankie’s worries if Cecil got his hands on her.
Still, the idea of having nothing with Frankie made Evan’s stomach tighten.
The past week had been gruesome without their normal banter.
Even when Evan was trying to keep distance between them, Frankie’s attentiveness and ready smile had worked miracles in softening them. How could they give that up?
“I wanna get to know you, too.” The words spilled breathlessly from Evan’s lips, as both terror and elation filled them at speaking the truth.
“You do?” A tentative smile appeared. “You genuinely want to know me?”
“Of course, why do you think I can’t seem to—” Evan broke off, realizing they were about to say, “Can’t seem to get the job done and go home.” Their lips clamped shut. Heat rose up Evan’s neck to their cheeks as they stared mindlessly at Frankie for an agonizing moment.
“Why you can’t seem to stop thinking about me?
” Frankie guessed, and there was nothing tentative about her smile now.
It was wide and as gorgeous as she was. Evan’s breath caught as Frankie leaned across the table, her lips grazing Evan’s cheek, and then their ear as she whispered, “The feeling is entirely mutual.”
Evan breathed in the lingering scent of Frankie’s perfume that still clung to her. A strong desire to bury their nose in the collar of her hoodie filled them, and before Evan realized, they were nuzzling the small gap of exposed skin on her throat.
“You’re like a drug. Bad for me, but I think I might die if I don’t get it.” Evan pulled back in search of Frankie’s mouth. They reached up with the intention of cupping Frankie’s cheeks, but she grabbed hold of their wrists, securing them to the table.
“Dying is the last thing I’ll let you do.
” She met Evan’s kiss halfway, and the moment their lips touched, Evan swore they died and went to heaven.
The stars aligned just for them, and every doubt Evan had of the two of them fled like a runaway bride.
Frankie kissed in the same fashion she did everything else.
Full of restrained passion and power, with deep, erotic hints of all the pleasures to come.
Evan opened their mouth and groaned at the silken feel of Frankie’s tongue pushing inside, invading them, owning their mind and body.
Evan’s nub throbbed and pulsed as they envisioned Frankie one day licking and sucking them senseless.
Unfortunately, Frankie pulled back shortly after, her movements slow and reluctant.
She pecked wet kisses along Evan’s mouth and jaw, those gorgeous brown eyes greeting theirs.
“Not rushing will be a challenge, but it’ll give us time to figure out if we’re compatible in other ways.
You’ll have more time to get to know me and understand what I will and won’t tolerate when it comes to intimacy.
Like putting your hands on me without permission. ”
“That’s why you have restraint frames.” Evan’s eyes widened, understanding dawning on them. “You don’t like to be touched.”
Frankie’s jaw tensed. She looked away. “That wasn’t the point I was getting at. Everyone needs boundaries, especially while we’re in the stages of getting to know one another. Just like I won’t assume you want me to touch you.”
“Will you ever let me touch you?”
Frankie hesitated, pulling away from Evan to sit once more in the breakfast booth.
Regret burned in her gaze. “Not in the way you’re asking.
If I’m expecting it, like in a hug or if we’re making out, for instance, then your arms around me are fine.
But as I said earlier, I’m a service top, Evan.
It’s the only way I know how to be. It’s the only thing I want.
So you would have to be okay with being a submissive bottom. ”
Fuck, what happened to you? Evan bit back the question.
It was neither appropriate nor compassionate, and despite Evan’s sole reason for coming to Vancouver, they cared about both of those things.
Evan didn’t want to hurt Frankie, not like that.
Besides, getting topped by her all the time sounds hot as hell.
“It’s late, honey.” Frankie got to her feet, holding out a hand for Evan to take. “Let’s get some sleep, and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”
“Sure, thanks.” Evan had to actively tone down their grin at the thought of Frankie cooking for them or doing anything that involved taking care of them.
She did it so effortlessly that Evan had come to look forward to being pampered now and again.
Frankie pulled Evan to their feet, and their lips met briefly once more.
“Which would you prefer, my almond pancakes or bacon, eggs, and toast? I picked up some of that sourdough bread you like.”
“Either one sounds great. Thank you, Frankie, for real.” Frankie’s constant attentiveness had Evan choking up. They swallowed past the lump in their throat, unable to look at her. Humiliation lit their cheeks ablaze.
“I should be thanking you, little thief, for giving me a chance.” Frankie’s cool hand grazed Evan’s hot cheek, and they shivered. “It means more than you’ll probably ever realize.”
“Damn, kid, you look like a fish out of water right now.” Andy patted Evan on the back as he took a seat.
He gestured around the Board Game Café that the group had invited Evan to.
“Busy spot, b’y. I keep begging Frankie to head up a board game night but she won’t have it.
Says it’d be more trouble than it’s worth. ”