Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
Miles comes toward me fast enough that my body responds before my brain does. I want to leap into his arms, wrap my legs around his waist. Cling to him like a spider monkey.
His face is still flushed from the game. Hair damp at the edges. Eyes bright in that way they are when he wears contacts.
For one stupid second, I think he’s going to do it. Sweep me up. Spin me. Make a scene so big even the cameras can’t edit it into something “friendly.”
I step into it, already rising onto my toes.
Miles opens his arms.
And then he… stops.
Just freezes.
Like he hit an invisible wall.
His gaze flicks past my shoulder, and I feel it, too. The hallway isn’t empty. The crew from our interview is lingering, packing up gear.
His arms stay out for a beat too long, hanging there as his jaw works. He swallows, eyes dropping back to mine.
“Well, c’mon, get over here!” Cash comes up from behind me and pulls Miles into an exaggerated hug. “Congrats on the win, Hockey Boy.”
Cash eases back, arches a brow at me, and tips his head like, go on. I could kiss him. But I definitely won’t.
I practically fling myself at Miles. One of his arms bands tight around my waist, and the other cups the back of my head.
“Okay, this looks anything but friendly,” Cash huffs under his breath.
Miles slides his hand from my head to my upper back, but I keep both arms locked around his middle.
“Christ, I’ve missed you.” He speaks into my hair.
“Me too, baby.”
I barely hear Cash mutter, “You two are hopeless.”
Someone passes in the hallway—the interviewer and cameraman—and we create some distance, but we can’t look away from each other. Miles’s gaze flicks across my face as if trying to take me in all at once, while giving each feature equal attention.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he murmurs.
“I can’t take all the credit. This one”—I jut my elbow toward Cash—“pulled it all together.”
“Thanks, Cash,” Miles says without looking away from me.
Cash clears his throat. “So. I’m gonna just… go. I heard there’s a vending machine around here somewhere. I’ll give you guys a minute.” He’s already moving.
I mouth thank you as he passes, and Miles gives him a thump on the shoulder.
We lean against the hallway wall, alone for the first time. We keep careful inches between us, but they seem to shrink by the second.
“Was that her?” I whisper. “The girl who broke your heart?”
Miles looks confused by my question, like he’s already forgotten about the woman who could only be his ex. With her husband and their child, if I had to guess.
He blinks and rushes out, “There’s nothing between us—”
“I know.” I grab his hand, and it’s really freakin’ hard to let it go. “I know there’s not.”
He nods, another small smile. “That’s her husband. The general manager of the team.”
Now I’m the one nodding, but I stay quiet, hoping he’ll give me more.
“She wanted to apologize…” He pauses, eyes dropping to the floor, before they return to mine.
“I emailed her once, maybe a year after we broke up. After she had the baby. I apologized, too,” he exhales.
“She never responded. I figured she still hated me. Which didn’t make sense, not with her… new life.”
He shakes his head. “I thought I’d found closure years ago, but I don’t know—maybe it was good to hear I wasn’t the only one to blame.”
“Yeah,” I say on a breath.
“That’s not my kid,” he adds, like he hates that he has to say it. “I would never abandon my child.”
“Of course you wouldn’t. Did she—” I hesitate. There’s no nice way to say it, so I just do. “Cheat?”
He shrugs. “I suspected, but never asked.”
I can’t say I would’ve been this calm about the whole thing, but it’s very like Miles to put someone else’s feelings above his own.
Footsteps echo down the hall. Our minute is almost up.
“Come here.” Miles tugs me a little closer, but it’s still not enough. I take another step, and it’s still too far. I might sell a kidney for a kiss right now. Heck, maybe even just a hug.
I can’t continue on like this.
“I’m going to fix this,” I whisper, putting as much determination into the words as I can through the lump in my throat. I tilt my head up to look at him. “The hiding, the distance, all of it.”
“We’ll figure it out, honey.”
“I can’t keep doing this.” My voice cracks.
“I know.” He tucks strands of hair behind my ear, then pins me with his gaze. “I can’t keep pretending you’re not mine.”
“I get the feeling they’re trying to keep this whole thing going much longer than we thought,” I rush out.
“Hey, breathe,” he tells me, and I do.
Cash appears at our side. “Hate to break this up, but we need to go.”
Miles’s hand flexes on my hip.
“I love you,” he says softly against my temple, kissing the spot.
“Love you, too.” Tears sting behind my eyes, but I turn away before they fall.
My throat burns, but I keep moving.
I don’t look back.
Because if I do, I won’t be able to leave.