Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was strange waking up the next morning to someone besides Falk in the bed next to him. Ren was much warmer than he usually was on account of all the blankets piled on him and how Flory had rolled around in her sleep until she was far more on his side of the bed than her own.
For a moment, he couldn’t tell what had woken him up—Flory’s soft snores or his natural clock telling him to get up. And then, he heard a soft knock at the door.
He raised his head as well as he could, peering over Flory to see the door open a crack and a familiar face appear.
Falk smiled when he noticed Ren watching him, and walked over as quietly as he could so as to not disturb Flory.
He waved a hand at Ren, motioning for him to get out of bed.
Which Ren did with some difficulty so as to not jostle Flory too much.
“What?” Ren whispered as Falk pulled him out into the hallway. From the look on Falk’s face, he immediately asked, “Is everything okay?”
“Of course it is,” Falk said quickly. “Don’t worry, everything’s fine.” He paused, reaching out as though in a trance to pat down Ren’s wavy black hair which was a mess from sleeping. “I came to tell you… I’m being called away from the castle for a mission.”
Ren blinked at him, not fully processing the words. “A mission?”
“We need to send some scouts over to one of the borders to check things out,” Falk said. “Honestly, I’ve been lucky Oren hasn’t sent me on anything since I’ve been taking care of you.” Ren leaned into Falk’s touch as he cupped his cheek. “It should only be one night. I’ll be back by tomorrow.”
“I can’t come?” Ren asked, eyes widening.
Falk shook his head. “No, Ren. It’s not safe?—”
“But I have to stay with you,” Ren said, a tremor in his voice. “That’s the rule, isn’t it?”
“Well, you’ll get to have another sleepover with Flory,” Falk said, jerking his chin toward the shut door they had exited from. “Mont is coming on the mission too, so you two can keep each other company.”
“I don’t want you to go,” Ren whispered.
Falk’s thumb dragged over his cheek gently as he said, “It’ll be one night. You won’t even realize I’m gone.”
Ren didn’t know what to do with himself without Falk.
Flory was required to stay with him, though she didn’t seem to care about walking away from Ren for short bouts of time, or leaving Ren alone with his thoughts while she went to do something else.
It was the most freedom Ren had had in a long time and yet, he didn’t want it.
He would take Falk being beside him, never leaving him alone, over him not being here at all.
“Maybe we should go see Dr. Bram. Do you think talking to him would help you calm down?”
Ren glanced up at Flory, cheek rested on his knees where they were pulled up from his chest. “I am calm,” he said, confused.
“Ren, your scent is suffocating me. You need to relax or you’re going to die from anxiety,” Flory said, covering her nose to make a point.
Ren tried to physically relax—force his stiff back to loosen, force his hands to stop shaking, force the tension from his legs and shoulders.
But he could barely focus on it, his mind drifting away almost instantly.
He was only brought back by Flory waving a hand in front of his face an indeterminate amount of time later.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” Ren muttered.
“Alright,” Flory said, frowning. “Well then, let’s head to the dining hall. We told Des we’d get dinner with him.”
“Good evening,” Des sing-songed as Ren took a seat beside him. Flory patted him on the shoulder as she went to get them both a plate of food. “You look awful.”
“Thanks,” Ren groaned. He folded his arms over the table and rested his cheek there, pouting.
“You’re going to need to get used to Falk leaving,” Des said, smiling sadly at him. “Warriors leave a lot and right now it’s a peaceful time. What will you do if the Warriors ever have to go to war?”
Ren couldn’t even bear to think about it, it had his stomach rolling in his gut.
“I’ll deal with that when it comes,” Ren grumbled.
“Can I eat with you all?” Ren raised his head at the familiar voice, sitting up a bit straighter as Chaya sat down beside him. She was smiling at Ren, always looking so fond of him. “How are you doing? I heard Falk left on a mission.”
“Yeah, as everyone keeps reminding me,” Ren huffed. “But I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Chaya said slowly.
“Yeah, you need to stop lying to us, Ren,” Flory said as she put his plate in front of him before sinking into the seat beside Des. She turned to the other two as she said, “He also didn’t want to spend the night with Falk last night. I slept over with him instead.”
“Really?” Des asked. “What happened?”
“Did you and Falk fight?” Chaya asked.
“No, it was nothing like that,” Ren groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I… he was trying to be kind to me and bring me back to the cliffs to see my family.”
“Awe, that’s so nice,” Des smiled.
“Yeah,” Ren said. “Except I hate my family.” He glanced between their surprised faces before continuing, “I know it’s my fault. I was the one who lied to him. I… freaked out a bit about it though.” He looked at Flory sheepishly. “Which is why I asked if I could stay with you last night.”
“It happened yesterday?” Flory balked. “Did you two at least talk about it?”
“A little,” Ren shrugged. “I didn’t know he was going to leave today. I’ll… talk to him more when I see him again.”
Even after eating his dinner, Ren’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and sweat was gathering on his brow more than it had been since summer started.
The air felt too hot, like it was burning his lungs with every breath.
But he stayed quiet during breakfast and then followed Flory back to his rooms to sleep.
He was glad the next day was one of the days he went to Chaya’s shop. He needed the distraction—needed something to do with his hands.
“That’s coming together nicely,” Chaya hummed from over his shoulder as she looked down at Ren’s hands flying over row after row of stitches. “That’s the sweater for Dr. Bram, right?”
Ren hummed in acknowledgement. He figured it was the least he could do.
The doctor wasn’t getting paid or given anything extra for Ren’s weekly therapy sessions.
He figured he could make him a sweater for free out of the extra yarn he collected.
“I’m hoping it will be done before the weather starts getting cold,” he shrugged.
Ren rubbed at his neck, overly sweaty from nerves.
His stomach tightened as he shut his eyes and tried to calm his racing heart.
He recognized his anxiety, but he didn’t know why his body was reacting so strangely to it.
Usually, he felt like he couldn’t breathe from the panic.
He didn’t usually feel like he was being burned from the inside out by it.
It felt like no time had passed before Flory appeared at the door to Chaya’s shop with a grin on her face. “They’re back,” she cooed at Ren who was on his feet and running out the door barely a moment later. Ren could hear Flory’s laughter getting quieter behind him.
When he made it to the top of the stairwell leading down to the main foyer, the Warriors had already arrived and were greeting those waiting for them. Ren’s heart stopped for a moment as his gaze scanned over the faces, counting their heads to make sure all seven were there.
He grinned when he saw Falk. His expression was the cold, blank one he usually wore when speaking to other Warriors. The men around him were chatting amicably and laughing. It looked like Mont was forcing Falk to stay in the conversation with a hard hand on his shoulder.
Ren was about to run down the stairs when his knees buckled.
He gasped as he wobbled, catching the railing before he tumbled down the stairs.
He blinked, staring down at his legs as he found his footing again.
He couldn’t figure out why his legs had suddenly turned to jello; he hadn’t been focusing on anything other than finding Falk.
It took him another moment, taking stock of his body, to realize he was wet. Slick was already running down to the backs of his thighs. His eyes widened as he realized all at once that the shaking and sweating the last twenty-four hours wasn’t from nerves.
“Ren?” Flory asked, coming up behind him. She settled a hand on Ren’s back, making him flinch away at the touch. “What’s wrong?”
“I think I’m going into heat,” Ren whispered, the words choking him.
Flory took a moment, assessing Ren’s scent, before responding. “I assumed you were just anxious. Your scent is strong, but not awful.”
“Me too,” Ren murmured. “I think I’m at the beginning of it, but,” he licked his lips slowly, gaze moving back to Falk. “What do I do?”
Flory softened when she realized what Ren was distressed about. “Do you want to spend your heat with him?”
“Yes,” Ren said, voice small.
“Then you should ask him,” Flory said.
“What if he says no?” Ren asked. “I don’t think I could deal with that type of?—”
“You really think he’d say ‘no’?” Flory laughed. “He would never say ‘no’ to you, Ren.”
Ren still hesitated for a long several moments, his heartbeats speeding up and his mouth going dry. He took a breath and nodded once before walking down the stairs.
He knew by the fact no one even glanced at him his scent wasn’t too changed by his heat yet.
It had probably only started that morning or perhaps the night before when he first started feeling warm and uncomfortable.
He tried to not let the nerves consume him.
Many Wolves looked forward to their cycles and spending that time with someone, whether it was a mate or anyone else they chose.
Ren wanted to be excited and he was, he was always excited when it came to Falk, but a lump of dread sat heavy in his stomach.