Chapter 20
Roman
Afew minutes after six, the doorbell rings, and Mazie tears out of her seat at the table to answer it. I don’t have to see her fling the front door open to know she does it with so much force, it rebounds off the doorstop. I can hear the weird clang it makes, and I roll my eyes.
“Jesus Christ, Maze! Chill out,” I call from the kitchen, still cleaning up from the gourmet dinner of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs.
“Eloise!”
I poke my head out in time to see my six-year-old daughter literally dragging her into our house.
“You’re awfully strong for someone so small,” Eloise laughs, careful to shut the door behind her.
“That’s ’cause I work out with Daddy.” Mazie raises her arms to flex her so-called muscles.
“And I’m not gonna take you trick-or-treating if you’re gonna act like this.” I cross my arms over my chest, leaning against the doorframe. “Hulking out on the doors and our guests.”
“You said I’m strong,” she argues, but I don’t have time to have a conversation about it because she races off toward her room. “I hafta put my costume on!”
I turn my attention to Eloise in a big, fluffy pink Care Bear costume and push off the wall. “How’d you find that in two days?”
She lifts her arms out at her sides, rocking back on her heels. “You think I don’t have multiple Halloween costumes in the back of my closet?”
Of course she does.
“And you must be Fantasy Ken,” she says, gesturing at me, but I don’t get it.
“What?”
She sighs, shaking her head like she’s disappointed in me for not understanding.
“You have on a white V-neck T-shirt, so I can see your tattoos and your piercings. Plus, you have a dish towel over your shoulder, meaning you’ve cooked and/or cleaned, and to top it all off, you’re wearing gray sweatpants, which makes me feel like you know what you’re doing.
It’s gray sweatpants season, and you’ve got a boa constrictor in them, so…
” She huffs an annoyed sound and pops her hands on her hips.
“Don’t play innocent with me, Roman Alan Stone. ”
“That’s not my middle name.”
“Just go put some underwear on!”
For a moment, I’m stunned. She yelled at me. About my dick. And my underwear.
I don’t know what to do.
Besides laugh.
Earning what I think is a stern warning with her index finger, but I can’t be totally sure because her hands are covered by the Care Bear mitts.
“It’s all fun and games until it’s time to send me home, but you’re gonna have a real hard goddamn time because you’ve decided to be Fantasy Ken, whose job is to make me fall in love with you.”
That sobers me, and I grab the towel from my shoulder, whacking the side of her thigh with it, though I doubt she feels anything through the fur. “Fine. I’ll go change if it’ll make you happy.”
“Well, I’m sure the rest of the straight female population will hate it, but it would make me feel better, since we’re keeping this PG.”
If that’s what she wants.
But I’d be okay fucking a furry.
Didn’t see that kink coming.
Then again, never saw Eloise coming either.
I never could have expected that ball of sunshine to lodge so deeply in my chest I don’t feel like I can properly breathe unless I’m around her.
“Be right back,” I say before heading down to my room.
I showered after work and didn’t bother putting on “real clothes,” but I do now, including slipping on a pair of Hanes before stepping into jeans.
Down the hall, I hear Mazie giving Eloise a tour of the house, including the bathroom, Steve’s bunny condo, the kitchen, and finally, my room.
I finish pulling my hoodie down as Mazie tosses my door open with a flourish. “And this is Daddy’s bedroom.”
“Nowhere on the job description of being my daughter does it say to give house tours, especially not to my room.”
Mazie angles her head. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about this habit you’ve picked up of throwing doors open, and about how you can’t open my bedroom door whenever you want. I knock on your door. You need to knock on mine.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she mumbles because first grade has given her a lot of confidence, and not all of it is good.
“I might hang you up by your pigtails before the night’s out,” I tell her, and she screws her face up at the threat she knows I’ll never follow through on before dashing away, yelling about how she’s going to hang me up by my ears.
For her part, Eloise slaps a hand over her mouth, probably to cover her laugh. I glower at her. “Don’t you start too. Having one sassy female in the house is more than enough.”
She raises her hands in innocence. “I didn’t say anything.”
I stuff my wallet, keys, and cell phone in my pocket, calling out, “Shoes on, Maze. Let’s go.”
“I’m already ready!” Eloise and I make our way back down the hall to where Mazie’s by the front door, swinging her plastic pumpkin bucket around. “Took you long enough.”
“I swear to fucking god,” I mumble, motioning her out the door. “One of us isn’t gonna make it to her sixteenth birthday.”
Eloise snorts a laugh, following my kid out so I can lock up before the three of us head down the block. I pinch Eloise’s ass in warning to be good, and she squeals in surprise, earning a funny look from Mazie, who holds out her hand. “Come on, Elle!”
Eloise doesn’t hesitate. She takes Mazie’s hand, and they walk in step to the first house.
I love my daughter. I love my daughter more than life itself and will do anything for her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hate 87% of the shit she wants me to do, like trick-or-treating.
But.
With Eloise dressed up as a Care Bear and Mazie bouncing around as a fairy princess, it’s hard not to be swept up in their energy. We hit nearly every house in the neighborhood, Mazie darting from door to door as Eloise’s laughter mixes with the sounds of the night.
“You’re really a good dad,” she comments, watching Mazie run back toward us, her plastic pumpkin swinging wildly as she complains about getting yet another Tootsie Roll.
“Did you say thank you?” I ask, and she nods before sprinting to the next house. “I didn’t hear it last time,” I call. “You have manners, Maze. Use them.”
She throws me a thumbs-up over her shoulder as she waits in line behind Buzz and Woody. I turn back to the Care Bear at my side, feeling a bit awkward about the praise. “She’s my kid. I don’t really have a choice.”
Eloise shrugs. “You could be a shitty dad, but you’re not. You’re here, making memories with her. That’s a choice. You’re choosing to be a really great dad.”
Her words hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting.
I’ve always done what I had to for Mazie, but hearing Eloise say it like that—it makes me feel like maybe I’m doing something right.
Without thinking, I place my hand between her shoulder blades, intent on pressing my gratitude into her lips, but before I can, my sweet baby angel runs up between us. “Look at this! Look how big it is!”
Eloise whistles. “King-size? We’ll have to remember this house for next year.”
I know she said it absently, we’ll have to remember for next year…
And yet there’s a tug, a desire. I want this.
This feeling of rightness.
I don’t want it to go away.
I’d like it to be around next year too.
And the year after that.
I want it for a long damn time. Forever.
“Ooh! Do you see that house? I don’t want to go there.” Mazie shivers as she pulls on Eloise’s hand, so we keep walking past the house with the giant fake spider on the front.
Mazie’s freaked out about bugs. Apparently, so is Eloise.
Great. Both of ’em sassy and afraid of insects. I wouldn’t be able to catch a break with these two.
But who the fuck am I kidding? Like I’m not taking care of them both. Bugs or not.
When we return home, Mazie bulldozes over Eloise again, begging her to stay to watch a movie, and Eloise puts up the fight of a feather, agreeing almost immediately.
Neither one of them consulting me.
Because they’re already teaming up, and I apparently no longer rule the house. If I ever did.
Kicking off my shoes, I watch as Mazie tosses her fairy wings to the floor before jumping onto the couch. She waves at Eloise to follow her. “Come on! Come on!”
But Eloise hesitates for a moment, meeting my gaze. “I’m actually really hot in this. Would you mind…” She lifts her paws, waving them back and forth. “I can’t unzip with these.”
She doesn’t wait for my answer and turns her back to me.
I unzip it, feeling exactly how hot she must have been when the material splits down her back, giving her room to step out of it with a burst of humidity.
With Mazie busy mashing buttons on the television remote, I take the opportunity to brush my knuckles across the nape of Eloise’s neck.
Her skin’s warm and slightly clammy, and I rake my hand down her spine when she bends to step out of the giant onesie.
Once she stands up, she faces me again, hands in her hair, tying it up in a knot on the top of her head, offering me time to blatantly check her out in her thin T-shirt and tight workout shorts.
I imagine bringing her to the gym with me, her ass as she squats, her tits jiggling as she runs on the treadmill.
She said she used to be an athlete, and she has an air about her that makes me think she’d give me a run for my money. She’d no doubt want to have some kind of competition.
I’d let her kick my ass, so I could give her the reward and lay her down on the floor and lick up her sweet pussy until—
“Spookely! Fuck yeah.”
“No.” I lunge at Mazie and steal the remote from her. “Absolutely not. And watch your mouth.”
“Daddy!”
“No.” Ignoring Eloise’s giggles behind me, I point the remote at the TV to stop the goddamn show about the square pumpkin and find something else.
Something better. I settle on The Addams Family and place the remote on the shelf that Mazie can’t reach, and she whines for a minute.
Until I toss her a candy from her stockpile.
Then she doesn’t care about what’s on the screen anymore, only how fast she can rip into her haul.
“Have a seat,” I tell Eloise, then head into the kitchen to pour both of us water and pop a bowl of popcorn. It can’t be said I’m not a semi-decent host.
“Ooh, thank you,” Eloise says, accepting the popcorn from me, and I settle on the other side of Mazie, so she’s between us.
I stay quiet, enjoying the chatter between my two girls, talking about their favorite candy, sorting it into the good and bad piles.
Obviously, they give the “bad” candy to me.
And it hits me while I’m on the third Tootsie Roll how domesticated this whole scene is. How peaceful and nice it is. How this is what I’ve always wanted for Mazie.
And it’s a little too close to reality. A little too fucking scary to realize all it would take would be a few words.
I’m not sure I’m ready.
Distracted by my thoughts, I don’t register how much time passes until Eloise gently taps my arm, motioning to a sleeping Mazie, her head in Eloise’s lap.
My chest aches, and I can’t do anything but smooth my hand over my daughter’s hair. She doesn’t shift or flutter her eyes, conked out. Completely comfortable with Eloise.
“I’ll be right back,” I whisper and carefully gather Mazie in my arms. I carry her to her room and tuck her into bed.
Still, she doesn’t stir. I should feel guilty about not changing her into pajamas or all the sugar she’s had—I’ll probably pay for it later when she has four cavities—but I know what a dragon she can be when woken up.
I press a kiss to her forehead then slip out, quietly closing the door on the way.
I find Eloise in the living room, slipping her shoes back on. She smiles when she sees me. “That was fun. Thanks for letting me tag along.”
I don’t want her to leave yet and move to stand in front of her, effectively blocking her way because I’m a greedy son of a bitch. I want all her attention. All her time. “You’re not in a rush to head home, are you? You can stick around if you want.”
She considers it for a moment, eyes slanting to the door, before meeting mine again and toeing her shoes back off. “Yeah, all right.”
She hops onto the couch, and I internally fist-pump like the fucking chump I am.
She’s staying. In my home. And at least for a little while, she’s all mine once again.
I sit right beside her, draping my arm along the back of the couch, but instead of curling into my side like I expect, she sits on her knees facing me. “So, I think this is when you finally tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
She tips her head to the side. “About Mazie’s mom.”