Chapter 25
Roman
“No way! That doesn’t count.”
“Fuck off,” I mutter, muscles twitching, struggling to hold myself up anymore. Wondering how the hell I got here.
I met Ian, Griffin, and Taryn for coffee at Cuppa Jo, and after they took turns giving me shit about finally showing up, we chatted idly about nothing in particular until Dante arrived.
It was my first time meeting Taryn’s boyfriend, and I liked him right off the bat for how completely and clearly he loves my sister.
He struck me as a bit of a goofball, but he said he had some time between project meetings and thought he’d pop down for coffee, hanging out even after Taryn slipped away to return to work.
And somehow I found myself at Stone Ink with my brothers, Taryn’s boyfriend, and Ian’s kids in a push-up contest. It was Jaybird’s dumbass suggestion after he made some comment to Griffin about how he was looking a little weak lately, and then the two were on the floor.
All of us agreed to this competition. Loser with the least number of push-ups gets a new tattoo picked out by the winner with the highest number.
Which, in this particular group of men, could mean anything. Especially because we are all gym rats.
“Nah, come on,” Jay argues, kneeling down on the floor at my eye level, showing me how I wasn’t parallel to the floor. “Your elbows aren’t ninety.”
I blow out a breath, lowering a smidge before pushing back up.
Jay holds his finger up. “Judges?”
“It counts,” Jasper says, but Cash disagrees with a shake of his head.
Dante, the fucking traitor, is the one who declares, “Doesn’t count.”
I can’t take it anymore and give up, flattening myself to the floor and rolling to my back, breathing hard. “That’s bullshit. I did chest and tris this morning. You caught me on a bad day.”
Ian sticks out his hand to help me up from the floor as Griffin clucks his tongue. “Bad day?”
“Fuck off.”
The guy has five years on me, and he’s a machine. Dante scrubs his hands together. “So, what’s it gonna be, Cap?”
Griffin tosses him a scowl. “Don’t call me that.”
Dante merely grins. “Ah, come on. You love me.”
Griffin shakes his head, earning snickers from all the young bucks.
Cash gestures to his chair so I can accept my punishment while the others quietly discuss options. I hear the words “alien” and “Mickey Mouse” and “pussy.” And after hearing some of their stories, I don’t doubt they’d put an alien-looking Mickey Mouse with a pussy on me somewhere.
Deciding to text Eloise to check in while they decide my fate, I pull my phone from my pocket.
How do you make a baker smile?
She messages back almost immediately.
Sunshine
How?
Butter them up.
Sunshine
That’s so stupid. I love it.
Sunshine
Speaking of, don’t ever use butter as lube.
I hope this isn’t coming from experience.
Sunshine
No! Just spreading the word.
Sunshine
Get it? Spread.
Sunshine
But seriously.
Sunshine
I fell down a rabbit hole about household products and lubricants.
***
Sunshine
Well, you can use coconut oil as lube and I thought what else can you use that might be in the kitchen? Because I keep coconut oil in the kitchen at all times, so I wanted to know my options. If any. You know?
No. I’ve never had that thought.
Ever.
Sunshine
So do you want to hear what else?
Yes.
Sunshine
Crisco, which is not surprising but also ew, right? Then the other natural oils like olive and sesame, avocado, etc. Makes sense. BUT THE MOST SURPRISING IS
Sunshine
Drum roll…
When she doesn’t text me after a minute, I text her.
Are you going to tell me?
Sunshine
I was waiting for the drum roll.
I refuse to laugh, even to myself. Yet, still, I indulge her.
Sunshine
Thank you.
Sunshine
YOGURT
What?
Sunshine
You can use yogurt as lube as long as there is no sugar in it.
That sounds disgusting.
Sunshine
Right? But also
Sunshine
I am a little curious.
That’s too bad because I’m not.
Sunshine
Ok. I can still try it.
I almost fumble my phone in my haste to message her back.
the fuck you can
Eloise.
You’re not trying anything with anybody.
Sunshine
I didn’t say I’d try it with other people.
You better not be.
Sunshine
What are you trying to say, Roman?
I don’t think. I just type.
I’m trying to say you’re mine, and you don’t try anything with anybody else.
Sunshine
Sunshine
You’re mine too.
Good.
How’s Sloane?
Sunshine
Ok.
Sunshine
He’s been staying with his girlfriend, so it hasn’t been much different for the kids since he’s away for work a lot anyway. But I can see it wearing on her. I’m just trying to do what I can for her.
You are. You’re a good friend.
Sunshine
Text me later? I was thinking about trying to convince Sloane to take the kids out to eat for dinner. Maybe you and Mazie can come?
Yeah. We can do that.
Sunshine
By the time I slide my cell phone into my back pocket, my so-called family is all staring at me, a mix of curiosity and goofy grins across their faces.
Jaybird starts in on his bullshit. “Who was that?”
“Eloise, obviously,” Ian says, and he used to be my favorite brother, but Griffin is now.
“You two a thing?” Dante asks, head tipped to the side, and I shrug even though I basically just laid my claim on her during that text exchange.
Ian takes a seat on his rolling chair. “Never a question.”
“Like you have room to talk,” I say, and Ian bows his head, not bothering to argue or hide his growing smile. He’s the definition of pussy-whipped by the cute bookstore owner next door.
Not unlike how I’d follow the baker next door on my hands and fucking knees if she asked.
“Stepmommy’s got him by the balls,” Jay teases, and Jasper actually chimes in.
“Literally.”
That gets Ian’s attention, and he faces his eldest son. “What?”
“You scarred June for life. She found…something in the bathroom and came screaming to me about it last night.”
Ian freezes as Jay leans in. “What?”
Griffin and I trade glances. I fear whatever it is that’s about to come out might scar us all.
Jasper rubs at his forehead and blows out a pained breath. “She…” He meets his father’s gaze head on. “She found your cock ring.”
Jay slaps his hand to his chest as Dante splutters a laugh. Griffin coughs a few times while Cash turns away from us all, becoming very busy with his tattooing instruments. I drop my head, tunneling my fingers into my hair, not sure whether to laugh or cry or run for the hills.
Ian clears his throat and waits until the rest of us are all looking at him before he crosses his arms and gives us his best paternal eyebrow arch. “We’re gonna need to have a conversation—”
“You gave us the sex talk in fourth grade,” Jay interrupts.
“And in sixth,” Cash says, presumably because he received every talk right along with Jay and Jasper.
“And you gave me a book on female pleasure in high school,” I add, which cracks his boys up.
Griffin mutters a “dear Jesus” as Dante props his hands on his hips, saying, “Man, I wish I grew up in this family.”
Ian ignores it all, focusing on Jasper, Jaybird, and Cash. “We’re gonna need to have a conversation about living arrangements soon.”
“Because with Junie still living in your apartment, you can’t fuck your girlfriend wherever you want?” Jay guesses, and Ian isn’t at all embarrassed.
“Yep.”
Jay smacks at his ear like he’s trying to rid that information from his head, while Cash appears deliberately uninterested, readying his tattoo gun for me while Jasper and Ian talk about where Juniper might move and when, though I really doubt it would ever really happen.
They’re all so protective of her. Hell, so am I.
But being here, in this community, spending time with my family, is changing me. Making me care about inane things I never would have before. Like push-up contests, cock rings, and the living arrangements for my twenty-one-year-old niece.
“So,” Cash says, standing next to me with his rubber gloves on. “Where you want it?”
I check out what space is left on my arms, not really wanting to drop trou, even though I have more free skin on my legs. Instead, I hike up the sleeve of my T-shirt and point to the bit of open space on my triceps, next to my mom’s tattoo.
Cash has a seat and gets to work on my loser tattoo as Griffin clears his throat. “As a reminder, Thanksgiving is at our house at five. Everyone needs to text me what they’re bringing.” He fixes his gaze on me. “I assume you’ll bring Eloise.”
I don’t answer, the sting of the needle in my arm and the overwhelming feeling of being part of this family fogging up my mind. It’s been years since I’ve seen them, and they so easily accepted me back into the fold. I’m not sure I deserve it, but there is nothing I appreciate more.
I think Griffin can see everything I’m not able to articulate because he nods once. “She’s part of the family, right?”
Ian agrees then says, “Sloane will probably come too. With everything going on…”
The trailed off thought sends all seven of us into a moment of silence.
And then we all talk at once.
“Fucking scumbag.”
“I always thought he was a fucking weasel.”
“If he didn’t have money and connections, I’d go fuck him up.”
“He’s got a punchable face.”
“Such a punchable face!”
“He’s not worth it, though. Karma will take care of him eventually.”
“And if it doesn’t? My right hand likes karma.”
“Sloane doesn’t deserve that shit.”
“I’m surprised Eloise hasn’t murdered that fuckwit yet.”
They all turn to me, and I shrug. My girl struggles with standing up to her own family, but I think if given the chance… “I’d imagine she’d go for his eyes first.”
They all agree and eventually move on to a different topic: food.
After another few minutes, Cash announces he’s all finished and wipes down my new ink. I turn, holding up my sleeve to view it in the mirror, and I can’t help the idiotic grin that crawls across my face at the tribute to Eloise.
“It’s perfect,” I say eventually and dap him up before clapping hands with the rest of the younger guys and hugging my brothers.
“Thought you’d like it,” Griffin says, and I nod.
Ian slings his arm around my shoulders, telling me seriously, “Don’t break her heart. She’s one of our favorites around here.”
“Mine too.”