16. Claire
16
CLAIRE
“You’re overreacting.”
I can’t fucking believe the audacity of this man. And to say it in that tone. Like I’m annoying him. Like I’m a fucking child.
I take a deep breath, keep my voice low, and once again, defend myself.
“I’m not overreacting. I’m making a decision about my life based on my own observations. You’ve been avoiding me. I know you’ve been out with Diedre because, unlike me, she has no tact. It’s been all over her social media. Apparently, she doesn’t care if everyone knows and neither do you.”
He sighs. “My love?—”
“Don’t,” I say, cutting him off.
I hate that this is making me want to cry, but I won’t let him hear it. I’ve wasted too much time and emotion on him. He’s never appreciated it. It stops now.
“I’m not changing my mind. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, actually. It was solidified by you not answering my calls or texts. The pictures on Diedre’s social media were the cherry on top. I can’t do this with you anymore. It’s not good for either of us.”
Silence.
He doesn’t protest. Not right away. It makes me uneasy. It makes me worried for what he’ll say eventually once he gathers his thoughts.
And then he speaks, and my fears are confirmed .
“The company will be sad to lose you, but I suppose it’s for the best.”
“What?” I choke out. It’s all I can say. My voice is lodged in my throat.
“Claire, you have to understand the position this puts me in. I cannot see you at work every day?—”
“You never see me. We’re separated by thirteen floors.”
“—and I cannot take the risk of you using this against me.”
I gasp. “I wouldn’t do that, and you know it. I haven’t said anything?—”
“Women do these things when they’ve been scorned.”
I laugh. It’s strangled, sorrow wrapped in fury, and it’s honestly sad how not surprised I am. For as angry as I am at him, though, I’m more angry at myself.
I let this happen.
I let it get this far.
I should have ended it the day I saw him in that boardroom. I should have been more vigilant about learning who he was before I fell for him.
I should have been fucking smarter. I sneer even though he can’t see me.
“Fine. I’ll finish up this job, and then I’m done. I expect a glowing letter of recommendation, and then I don’t want to hear from you again. If you attempt to blackball me, I’m taking this scandal to the tabloids.”
He laughs.
He actually fucking laughs at me.
“It’s your word against mine. No one will believe you.”
It’s a slap to the face. My cheek almost stings at the thought. And then I actually growl.
“I guess we’ll have to wait and see, then. Fuck you.”
I hang up before he can respond. I’m panting and sweating, adrenaline pumping through my body so rapidly that I feel dizzy.
I lied to him. It was a bluff. But I’ll drag this out as long as I can. As long as I need to. He attempts to call me again, and I push ignore. I rush to my laptop and open the file for the MixMosaic campaign. He calls again, and I hit ignore again.
Then I delete every contribution I made for this campaign from the drive. Every design. Every idea. I remove it from the drive, then from my computer and cloud. It’s done. The tech department may be able to retrieve it, but I won’t worry about that now.
Just as I delete my company account, Conrad tries to ring through once more.
I answer it and say one sentence.
“Call me again and I’ll get a restraining order.”
I hang up and block his number. I wipe at the tears on my cheeks. I take deep breaths. I step off the balcony and make my way to the bathroom, but then the door to the suite opens. I check the time on my phone. Hammond said the band meeting would last an hour, and it’s been exactly that.
I glance up at Jonah and force a smile, flattening my palm over my roiling stomach.
“How’d it go?”
He narrows his eyes. “Why have you been crying?”
I could say anything. Make any excuse. I’d watched a sad video. I’d read something upsetting. For some reason, though, I give him a sliver of the truth.
“They’re angry tears.”
His eyes slowly scan my face. His jaw pops. Then he takes two steps toward me.
“No one should have the power to make you feel like this. Especially not him.”
My eyebrows slant. I flinch. Then I laugh awkwardly. I wave him off and turn away.
“Trust me. I know.”
I turn my back to him and make my way to the bathroom. I can feel him staring at me. I’m steps from the door when his voice stops me again.
“We’ve got a change of plans today. Don’t straighten your hair. Don’t put on makeup. Wear tennis shoes. The car leaves in twenty minutes.”
I turn around to look at him. “We have a full day, Jonah. We can’t just cancel it.”
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I saw the calendar. It’s nothing we can’t do when we get back. If it helps, you can use this as a photo op.”
I tilt my head and study him. I don’t trust him, not fully, but I’m excited anyway .
“Does it involve drugs, alcohol, or getting naked?”
He smirks in that way that makes my heart race. “No, no, and only if you’re willing.”
I ignore him and narrow my eyes. “What do you have planned?”
“You’ll see,” he says, his lips stretching across his face in a mischievous smile. He looks almost boyish. Playful. Damn if it doesn’t make me cave. Then he checks his watch. “You’ve got fifteen minutes now.”
I wait thirty more seconds just to draw out the ruse of my reluctance, and then I force an exasperated sigh. I bypass the bathroom and walk straight into the bedroom, closing the door behind me. Today was a workout rest day, so I’m still in my pajamas, and I change quickly into a tennis skirt, tank top, and sneakers. I pull my curly hair into a ponytail, avoid the mirror, and head back into the main room of the suite.
As I cross the carpet toward him, his eyes drag down my body, then back up. I don’t comment on it. I don’t snarl. I just...let him do it. I step in front of him, and he nods. He grabs a brown leather jacket from the couch and heads to the door. I follow.
We meet José near the elevator, walk to the car in silence, and just as I’m reaching for the car door handle, Jonah stuns me by opening it for me. I freeze, just long enough to give myself away, and the low chuckle that escapes him makes my nipples harden. I feel him move closer, his head hovering just above my shoulder, his woodsy bodywash invading my space, and his breath tickles the shell of my ear.
“Just get in the car, Trouble. We don’t want to be late.”
I narrow my eyes and do as he says. Then he slides in behind me.
“So where are we going?” I ask. Jonah doesn’t look up from his phone. “Jonah.” He doesn’t acknowledge me. I scoff and look at José. “Where are we going, José?”
I watch him tilt his head up, and even though he’s wearing sunglasses, I know he’s looking to Jonah for permission. I see Jonah’s head jerk once in my periphery, and then José ignores me too.
I scoff again and resist the urge to stomp my foot on the car floor.
“Jonah, tell me where we’re going.”
Finally, he looks at me and arches a brow. “Relax, Davis. It’s a surprise. You don’t want to ruin the surprise, do you?”
I scowl at him. “What if I don’t like surprises? ”
He drops his attention back to his phone. “You’ll like this one. Trust me.”
Trust him? I don’t even trust myself half the time. I fold my arms over my chest. Yes, I’m pouting—I truly don’t like surprises—but the way he’s smirking at his phone irritates me more. I don’t like the way it makes me want to smile, too.
When neither Jonah nor José speak again, I sink into the plush leather seat and turn my attention out the window. A lush forest quickly replaces the buildings of the city of Lisbon, our multilane highway passing right through.
“What’s this?”
“Parque de Monsanto,” Jonah says. “It’s a national forest.”
“In the middle of the city?”
He nods. “Think of it like a much larger, more environmentally conscious version of Central Park.”
“Hmmm.” I look back out the window. “It’s pretty.”
He hums in agreement, and we fall back into silence. Soon, the dense forest thins, and buildings again join the scenery until José is slowing the car to a stop and pulling into a parking spot on the street.
“We’re here? Where are we?”
“Belém.” Jonah smirks and jerks his head toward his door. “Let’s go, Trouble.”
Jonah climbs out of the car, and I follow, with José stepping up behind us.
“What are we going to do?”
Jonah laughs, but he doesn’t answer. I sigh and follow him toward a tall man wearing shorts and a polo. I can tell by his smile that he’s been waiting for us, and that elevates my already sky-high curiosity. A friend? I didn’t think Jonah had friends. Apart from the band, anyway.
When we stop in front of the man, he shakes Jonah’s hand, then mine.
“Claire, this is Davi, our tour guide. Davi, this is Claire. She’s my nanny.”
I ignore Jonah and give Davi a smile. “Nice to meet you, Davi.”
“You as well.” He looks back at Jonah. “Are you ready?”
“We’re ready.”
“Great.” He claps his hands together once and smiles. “We’ve got three stops today. Mosteiro dos Jerónimos , Padr?o dos Descobrimentos , Torre de Belém . That’s the Jerónimos Monastery, the Monument to the Discoveries, and the Belém Tower. We will be walking. It’s a little over a kilometer, but there will be stairs. Are you up to it?”
Jonah laughs. “Claire’s up to it. She runs treadmill marathons before breakfast.”
I snort out a laugh and look up into Jonah’s playful eyes. “We might need to carry Jonah, though. He’s pitiful and out of shape.”
“Hey, I’ve been training.” He nudges me with his elbow. “But if I need a piggyback ride, I’ll let you know.”
“You’ll let José know. There’s no way you’re getting on my back.”
“We’ll see.”
His lips curl into a devious, sinful smile, and I know his comment was suggestive. My cheeks heat, and I look back at Davi. I clear my throat and then nod with a forced smile.
“Ready when you are.”
Davi takes us to Jerónimos Monastery first, and it’s fascinating. The Gothic architecture is beautiful, and as Davi tells us the history of the site, I become even more enthralled.
“This place is older than our entire country,” I whisper to Jonah as we walk through the halls, and he laughs.
“Most places over here are.”
“I never thought I’d be here, though. It’s different experiencing it in person.”
He catches me off guard by throwing his arm over my shoulders. I flinch and stiffen, his bodywash and deodorant engulfing me. I don’t move away, though. I’m too stunned. It’s taking all my focus just to put one foot in front of the other.
“Stick with me, and you’ll experience a lot more.”
A laugh bubbles out of me, so loud that it echoes off the centuries-old stone walls. His grip tightens around me as he stifles his own laugh.
“That line can’t possibly work for you.” I elbow him lightly, then shrug away. His arm drops to his side, but his smile remains fixed on his face.
“I’ll let you know.”
I shake my head, a blush once again creeping up my neck. My ears heat with the blood rush, and I look away. I don’t speak to him for the rest of the monastery tour. Not even in the Church of Santa Maria, despite my desire to share my awe with someone.
With him .
I don’t like how quickly he’s disarmed me today. Am I that starved for affection that one kind gesture turns me into a blushing idiot? This man is horrid. He’s repulsive, and I shouldn’t be blushing over him. I must have lost my damn mind.
Jonah breaks the silence on the way to the Monument to the Discoveries, and it irritates me. While I don’t want to experience all of this alone, it’s easier to ignore my mixed feelings regarding him when I can pretend he’s not here at all.
“So?”
“So what ?”
I glance over at him. He exudes cool . Too cool for me. A pair of knockoff Wayfarers shields his blue eyes, his bleached hair is once again pulled into a bun, and his hands are shoved in his pockets as he walks. He doesn’t take his eyes off the ground in front of him, and I find myself wishing they were on me. The desire crashes into me out of nowhere. It’s so surprising that I rip my attention off his profile and stare at the sidewalk.
Goddamn it.
We need to go back to not speaking.
“What did you think? Did you like it?”
I nod and keep it curt. “I did.”
“Belém is one of my favorite places to visit when we’re in Lisbon.”
“What?” The statement piques my curiosity, and even though I shouldn’t, I engage further. “You’ve been here before?”
“This is my fourth time. I like history.”
I shake my head, my brow furrowing as I let myself look at him again. “Why are we doing this, then?”
He smirks at the ground. “Sav said you’d never been out of the States. Thought you’d enjoy it.”
I blink at him, the kind gesture shocking me into silence, and then he finally looks at me.
“Did I think wrong?”
“Oh.” I shake my head. “No. No, this is great. Thank you.”
I love it, actually, but I don’t tell him that. I can’t. I shouldn’t. Then he hits me with a smile so wide, it gives me chills. I have to look away again.
“Good. I appreciate what you’re doing, Trouble. Even if you are a pain in my ass.”
I laugh, but I don’t respond. I don’t say anything. I don’t trust myself not to let my errant thoughts loose into the universe if I open my mouth. Every smile he sends me keeps me buzzing, though. Every time he nudges me with his elbow or throws his arm over my shoulders, my chest tightens, and it takes all my strength not to reach for him. Not to sink into his hold.
This is bad.
I just broke up with his father, and now I’m...I don’t even know. Crushing?
Am I crushing on Jonah Hendrix? On my ex’s son?
No. No way.
I cannot stand this man. He is a liar. An addict. A slut. He’s spoiled and full of himself, and he thinks rules don’t apply to him.
He is quite literally the worst.
I do not have a crush.
I’m just feeling dejected from the termination of my almost year-long relationship. That’s all. It’s off-centering to see Jonah not just cooperating but being kind. Being thoughtful. I’m vulnerable, and it’s nice to have someone paying attention to me.
It’s all surface-level bullshit, but it’s nice, even if it is coming from an asshole rock star with an attitude problem and an inflated ego.
I’m stewing in my thoughts—scolding myself and explaining away the stupid butterflies that keep trying to erupt in my stomach—when Jonah takes my hand in his. I narrow my eyes at him.
“What are you doing?”
He smiles down at me, then nods to the road we’re about to cross. “Safety first.”
I roll my eyes, even though he can’t see it through my sunglasses, but I don’t break the hold. His hand is warm and dominates mine. The calloused pads of his fingers reach almost to my wrist, and I can feel them pressing into my skin. Holding me close.
Safety first.
He doesn’t let go when we’re safely across the road .
Neither do I.
Not during the tour of the Monument to the Discoveries, and not during the walk to Belém Tower. Even when he points out a stone rhinoceros-shaped gargoyle carved into one of the tower’s turrets, he doesn’t release my hand. He just lifts mine with his, pointing briefly with his index finger before dropping our hands back down between us. Why he doesn’t just point with his other hand, I don’t know, but the gesture makes my stomach flip and my brows furrow. I’m excited and confused. It’s dizzying.
I have well and truly lost my damn mind.
He doesn’t break our connection until it’s necessary for ascending the narrow spiral staircase to reach the top of the tower, and when he does, I feel the loss immediately.
I fold my hand into a fist, wishing I could imprint the shape of him into my palm, then wishing to lobotomize myself, because what the actual fuck is that thought? I shove it out of my head, but then we start up the stairs, and he places one hand gently on my waist. He leans over my shoulder and puts his mouth to my ear.
“So you don’t fall.”
I can’t suppress the shiver he elicits, and when I force a laugh, it’s shaky and breathless. The whole climb to the top, I can only think of his hand on my waist. The heat it produces, seeping through my shirt. The thought of his calluses on my bare skin.
I’m grateful when we reach the top, and I step out of his hold. Then my breath disappears for a different reason.
“Oh wow,” I whisper. “It’s...It’s...”
“Beautiful.”
I nod. “Yeah. It is.”
It’s a sweeping, 360 view of the area, made even more breathtaking in the golden glow of the late afternoon sun. My eyes follow the Tagus all the way to where the river meets the Atlantic, and the water seems to sparkle. When I spin around, I can see Belém.
I walk to the far wall and peer over the stone. I take in the picturesque coastline and breathe in the salty air. When a cool breeze makes me shiver and causes goosebumps to rise on my skin, I wrap my arms around my chest. Then, without warning, the scent of leather and bodywash engulfs me as Jonah wraps his leather jacket around my shoulders. I had been so distracted by him that I’d forgotten José had been carrying it.
I look up into Jonah’s face with wide, curious eyes, and he winks at me.
“It gets cooler at night this time of year. I brought it in case you needed it.”
I blink, words escaping me, and unexpected tears sting my eyes. I quickly turn my head back toward the water.
He’s being too kind. Too thoughtful.
Too much like what I’ve always looked for and never found.
Jonah traces his fingers over the nape of my neck, making me shiver again, and he tugs on a strand of my hair. I know he straightened it just to let it coil back into a curl.
“I love how it does that.”
I fold my lips between my teeth in an attempt to tame my smile. I try, but I fail, and I’m grateful he can’t see it. I snuggle down into his jacket, though, and I tell myself it’s just for the warmth. It’s not the smell or the sentiment. It’s not because of him.
I tell myself this, but I know it’s a lie.
I also know I’m totally fucked.