8. Chapter 8
Chapter eight
Aiden
“That’s enough, kids,” my oldest sister Kayleigh shouted to the nine kiddos attempting to tackle me to the ground. “We get to play with Uncle Aiden now.”
A chorus of whines filled my parents’ backyard. My oldest niece, Aubrey, put her hands on her hips. “He likes playing with us more.”
Kayleigh shot her the mom look, a masterful copy of the one our mother used to keep us in check, the one that made my balls shrivel and still did on occasion.
“Sorry, Mama,” Aubrey mumbled.
Kayleigh retreated indoors, and I crouched down to get as close to eye level to as many kids as possible. “Aubrey’s right, I’d much rather be out here with y’all, but they’re my sisters and it’d be mean not to spend a little time with them. They’ll get tired of me soon enough, and we can play four square.”
That perked everyone up. They headed as a group toward the driveway, where my parents and two of my brothers-in-law were talking with Logan’s mom and dad. As usual, Kayleigh’s worthless husband had some excuse not to be here. I heard Aubrey yell for sidewalk chalk as I walked inside the house and made a mental note to take her and her siblings out for ice cream later this week since their dad couldn’t be bothered to spend time with his kids.
“Here you go, baby brother,” Kayleigh said, handing me an ice-cold IPA as soon as I entered the living room. “Figured you’d need this.”
I took a seat next to her on the couch and twisted the top off the bottle. The dark circles under Kayleigh’s eyes had deepened since I last saw her, but I knew better than to bring it up in front of everyone since she’d just brush it off.
My youngest older sister, Fiona, sat in Dad’s duct-taped leather recliner with her feet up, rubbing her pregnant belly. A couple Christmases ago, my sisters and I bought him a new chair, but he insisted it wasn’t as comfortable as the one he had and made us take it back.
“Y’all are mean,” Fiona said. “You know that’s my favorite beer.”
My middle older sister, Ciara, plopped down beside me with her own bottle. “So stop getting pregnant,” she said, taking a swig.
“Says the woman with four kids,” Kayleigh laughed.
“You don’t even like beer, Ci,” Fiona said.
Ciara shrugged. “Talk to me when you have four kids. Mom and Dad are watching mine tonight, so Mark and I can finally have time for ourselves. To Logan.”
We held up our drinks, even Fiona, who had a tall glass of strawberry milk garnished with a pretzel rod. Between my three sisters, I’d lived through nine, almost ten, full-term pregnancies. I knew better than to ask.
“So tell us about St. John,” Kayleigh said. “We need all the details of your glorious vacation to the tropics while we froze our butts off here.”
Logan’s sister Everly flung open the front door without knocking. “Are you telling them about your trip? Maddie and I want to hear about it too.”
Sundays were my favorite day of the week for this very reason. All my sisters and Logan’s together, just like when we were kids. Seeing them always made me miss him, but I liked to think he’d have wanted us to keep acting like one big family. Plus, I didn’t really have a choice since our parents still lived next door to each other and both demanded Sunday family fun days. Last week’s trip to St. John was one of the few times I’d ever missed our weekly gathering.
“Did you hike the Reef Bay Trail again?” Maddie asked, running through the open door and pulling it closed before plopping onto the floor by her sister. They were both long-limbed like Logan and had his warm brown eyes.
You’d never guess seeing them sprawled on my parent’s ancient beige carpet that Everly was a kick-ass lawyer on track to make partner before she was thirty or that Maddie had taken up Logan’s dream of becoming a pediatric oncologist and was almost through her second year of medical school.
“Was that the one that went across the island?” Everly asked.
I didn’t want to think about the day the others hiked the Reef Bay Trail. Waking up with Lauren in my arms felt like a dream that morphed into an episode of the Twilight Zone.
Lauren had meant it when she said it never happened. For the past week, she’d pretended like nothing did. Still, my days since were filled with thoughts of touching her, of her touching me, and one memory of sinking into her wet heat that made me harder than steel if I thought about it too long.
“What happened?” Ciara asked.
They were all staring at me with concern. I didn’t want to tell them about Lauren, but these women were relentless. Three of them had mom radar and the other two shared the protective instincts that had made Logan such a great offensive guard. They wouldn’t rest until I explained why I looked like someone had crapped in my cereal every morning this week. I went with part of the truth.
“Honestly, I stayed back and got trashed while they did the trail. I underestimated how much it’d hurt being there without Logan.” And fuck did it hurt.
I should have lied and said I got food poisoning or something since now they were all emotional, especially Fiona, who let out an audible sob and then chugged the rest of her strawberry milk.
Sometimes I wondered if I set off my sisters and Logan’s because I found it impossible to cry myself. Despite missing him so much it hurt to breathe, I’d only cried twice since we lost him. The first when I woke up in the hospital and learned he’d died and the second at his funeral. I came close on the ten-year anniversary of the accident. Cal and Theo blubbered all the time, especially now that they were both loved up, but my primary emotion had always been anger.
When Everly came up with the idea to build a tree house in the old oak by the barn to honor Logan, just like the one where we’d spent countless hours of our childhood, I’d had to leave her in the field with Cal and Theo, so I could take a hammer to my living room wall. I’d been pissed he wasn’t there. Just like I’m pissed Logan wasn’t here to rib me about Lauren. I wanted to take a sledgehammer to the bathroom I was halfway through remodeling instead of waiting until I’d finished it. I know Logan wouldn’t want my anger any more than he’d want our sisters crying over him a decade later, but sometimes it felt good knowing I wasn’t the only one still mourning him.
Kayleigh and Ciara wrapped me in a sister sandwich while Everly and Maddie wiped their eyes. I let their hug ease the anger enough to save my bathroom, then patted their arms. They let me go, but Ciara rested her head on my shoulder.
Everly took a deep breath and blew it out. She’d always gotten herself under control the fastest. “He’d have loved that you took Cal and Theo there. He always said he wanted to go back with them. And you, of course.”
“Did you enjoy the trip at all?” Fiona asked, not even bothering to wipe the tears from her face.
“I could have done without snorkeling half drunk. I almost threw up on a parrot fish. Zero out of ten. Do not recommend.”
Kayleigh chuckled and the mood in the room lightened slightly.
“The rest of the trips was great.” Other than Lauren avoiding me. “We hit every beach on the North Shore.” Lauren put on her snorkel mask and dunked her head in the water every time I tried to talk to her. “Hiked a few other trails.” Without Lauren. “And enjoyed the villa, which was awesome.” Except for all the times I had to listen to Lauren shower and try not to picture her naked. “Rowan cooked amazing dinners, and we ate on the deck watching the sunset over the water.” Lauren seated as far from me as possible.
Ciara lifted her head from my shoulder and narrowed her eyes. “Y’all made Rowan cook on her bachelorette trip?”
“She wanted to, and we all pitched in to help.”
“Sure you did,” Kayleigh said. “Eating a third helping so she wouldn’t have leftovers to enjoy the next day isn’t helping, Aiden.”
“I only do that to you,” I said. “It’s not like you’d ever have enough leftovers to feed all your kids.”
“He’s got a point there,” Maddie said, smiling. She’d moved over to sit on the arm of Dad’s recliner and was rubbing Fiona’s shoulder. Maddie glanced at the soggy pretzel rod in Fi’s glass and shot me a look. I shook my head. She took the glass from Fiona and set it on the floor without questioning why my sister had landed on such an odd combination.
“He should be making all of us dinner for giving him so many nieces and nephews,” Ciara said. She jabbed me in the side, and I jabbed her back.
“I’ll buy you dinner anytime. Just name when and where.”
“OK,” she said, with a smile that made me a little nervous. “Next weekend. Your house.”
“I said I’d buy dinner.”
Kayleigh shook her head. “You buying us dinner would be like me handing you a bagel and calling it a gourmet meal.”
“Bagels are great,” I said, trying not to squirm. “I promise I’ll have everyone over once I finish the remodel.” Which, at the rate I tore through kitchens and bathrooms, would be about when I had to move into an old folks home.
“So none of you have been inside either?” Everly asked. “Good to know he wasn’t just excluding Maddie and me.”
I glared at her. “You’re as much family as they are.”
“I know,” Everly said, smiling. “I’m just doing my younger sister duty and annoying you.”
My nephew Bryant opened the front door and toddled in.
“What do you need, baby?” Fiona asked, swiping the tears from her face.
Bryant pointed at me.
“Oh, look at them sending in the youngest to get what they want,” Kayleigh said, laughing. “Even I can’t say no to Bryant.”
“Duty calls,” I said, swooping Bryant up and plopping him on my shoulders.
“Send us pictures of the trip in the group chat,” Ciara called after me.
I bounced up and down, and Bryant let out a happy squeal. “Didn’t take any.”
Fiona sighed. “Figures. I’ll text Cal later.”
“Does anyone have Rowan’s number? I want to make sure she really wanted to cook for my idiot brother and his friends.”
I’m not sure which sister said that since I was already headed out the front door and to the best part of my week. Obligatory grilling complete, I now had the entire afternoon to play with my nieces and nephews. The kids cheered when they saw me. Their excitement felt a hell of a lot better than being ignored by Lauren.
With Cal and Rowan’s wedding only a month away, she had to speak to me at some point. I was walking her fine ass down the aisle. Until then, I’d go to Karma three times a week like I always did. She’d pretend I wasn’t there, like she always did, but would shove my usual order across the counter and put my money in the tip jar for Cammie or Wyatt. I’d pretend my memories of us together were as old as the tension between us until she cracked and spoke to me again, and then I’d try my best to make more of those memories. Ones she’d never want to forget.