24. Chapter 24
Chapter twenty-four
Rowan
My heart pounded as I checked my reflection in the mirror.
“You look fantastic,” Lauren said behind me.
I’d borrowed another of her flirty dresses, this one a soft pink with a skirt that swirled when I moved. Lauren dug around in her closet and handed me a rose gold clutch that matched the dangly earrings she’d lent me as well.
“You have the best date wardrobe,” I said, peering into her closet. Lauren wore black leggings, a plain t-shirt, and an apron to work. The abundance of dresses seemed odd.
She shrugged. “I go on a lot of dates.”
“But how many see you in more than one outfit?”
“Plenty. Plus, you have to dress for the occasion. You can’t wear the same thing to a rodeo you’d wear to a five-star restaurant.”
I clutched the soft skirt while she went through her impressive belt collection. I wanted to ask why she’d never had a boyfriend. She had friends with benefits, one-night stands, and the occasional guy she dated once or twice before cutting him loose. The relationship habits of my best friend and the man who’d burrowed into my heart were shockingly similar.
“Why are you afraid to fall in love?” I asked.
She dropped the belt she was holding, then fumbled to pick it up. When she turned to face me, she’d plastered a smile on her face. “I’m not afraid. I’m too busy. Here, I think this turquoise belt will add just the right pop of color.”
“Lauren?”
She shook her head and held out the belt. I knew, from years of abbreviated conversations, the subject was closed. I sighed and adjusted the belt on my waist.
“Perfect,” Lauren said, clapping her hands.
Poppy burst through Lauren’s front door as we walked into the living room. “The hearse is leaving, and no one is behind the counter,” she said. “Let’s go. I have ten minutes to get home and load my sculpture, or I’ll be late for critique group.”
Poppy looked me up and down and nodded. “Nice.”
“You’re welcome to borrow my clothes too,” Lauren said.
Poppy flipped her off and headed for the stairs that exited to either the café’s back room or the doorway to the alley.
“Just wait,” Lauren said. “I’ll get her wearing colors any day now.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” I said, giving her a tight hug. “Thanks again for this.”
Lauren squeezed me back, holding the embrace longer than usual. “Good luck tonight. Call me after, ok? Unless you’re having wild sex. Then just text me a picture of a monkey, and I’ll know the date went well.”
Despite the nerves in my stomach, I laughed. “Got it.”
She pulled the door to her apartment closed and ran down the narrow staircase to the café. I took my time, gripping the railing for the steep descent. Despite how much I’d improved, I knew my back ached more than it should. Hearing Dr. Cohen and Cal confirm my fears had been upsetting, but not as much as seeing Avery with Cal. When he canceled our dinner plans after talking to her, my heart cracked, and I knew I had to tell him about the job offer and how I felt. I’d been so relieved when Cal called to apologize and asked me to dinner, I’d almost forgotten that this date could be our last. It was time to end things or move forward with the understanding it wasn’t casual, at least not for me.
Poppy stuck her head through the alley door. “You ok there, Granny?”
“Yes,” I said, picking up the pace a little. “I don’t want to fall and hurt myself more.”
Poppy nodded, and despite her rush, waited patiently for me to join her at the bottom of the stairs.
“I could have met Cal at the restaurant,” I said as I followed her to the hearse and climbed into the passenger seat.
“Admit it, when you were in high school, you fantasized about Cal Cardoso ringing your doorbell with flowers to take you on a date.”
We drove down Main Street, right past Antonia’s. “We’re not in high school, and I doubt he’d bring me flowers. He knows I live with a florist. We have flowers all the time.”
“But you had that fantasy, didn’t you? And it didn’t involve waiting alone at a restaurant, worried he won’t show up.”
Poppy turned onto Church Street where the corner bar hummed with loud music. I was glad Cal wasn’t meeting Avery there tonight, but my stomach continued to tighten. “You think he won’t show up?”
“Of course, he will. But I know you. You’d arrive early and start thinking the worst. Relax.”
I nodded and she drove the rest of the way in silence. She turned off the ignition but instead of bolting from the hearse like I expected, she grabbed my hand.
“You have to tell him about the job offer. Tonight.”
“I know.”
Poppy blew out a breath. “I’ve really liked having you back.”
I smiled at her. “Maybe I don’t have to leave.”
Her eyes widened. “You think they’d let you work from home?”
I shook my head. “No, but I’m not sure I want to accept the offer. To be honest, I don’t love finance.”
Poppy narrowed her eyes at me. “Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think since the accident. As bad as it was, it could have been so much worse. And I would have spent the last years of my life working my ass off at a job I only tolerated, with a social life that began and ended with Brad.”
Poppy nodded. “So, you’re having a quarter-life crisis. Are you planning to live in a van and travel around making crappy videos about getting lost to find yourself?”
“Um, no. I was thinking of starting my own business.”
“I guess that could work. Though, I doubt there’d be many big accounts around here for a financial firm.”
“No, a bakery. Mom and Lauren keep suggesting the idea. And it doesn’t sound as crazy as I first thought.”
Poppy sat back in the driver’s seat as though I’d just announced I was pregnant with quadruplets. “Don’t fuck with me,” she said in a small voice. “I know I give off badass chick vibes, but my little black heart can still break. Don’t mention something like that again unless you’re certain.”
“Ok,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze. “I won’t.”
She blew out a breath and dropped my hand. “Now, get out of my car, bitch. I’m already late.”
I walked inside but watched at the window as Poppy rolled a dolly to the back of the hearse and lifted a blanket-wrapped blob inside. She slid the dolly in after it, then climbed into the back to secure the piece with Bungie cords for the ride to wherever she was going. I’d peaked under the blanket last week and seen the work in progress, two girls made of clay, one larger than the other, their hands entwined. A pair of hearts, one large, one small, lay on a stretch of grass in front of them. I’d cried as soon as I pulled away the blanket, recognizing the moment I’d finally convinced Poppy to visit our father’s grave. I hoped her critique group had the same response, and she moved to the next step of casting it in plaster or metal. Until then, I had to pretend I hadn’t seen it.
Cal walked up as Poppy backed out of the driveway. He waved at her and started toward the house carrying a paper bag. He looked amazing in a pair of dark slacks and a blue button-down shirt open at the collar. He’d rolled up the sleeves, showing off his sculpted forearms. I took a few breaths, trying to calm down. I hadn’t been this nervous since I sat for my professional exams.
The doorbell rang, and I opened it so fast Cal probably knew I’d been watching for him. His eyes darkened as they traveled down my body. “Wow,” he said, biting his bottom lip. He shook his head and chuckled, then held out the bag.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, taking the bag with Wilson’s Pharmacy stamped on the front.
“I just realized I should have brought you flowers instead of those.”
I peered into the bag and laughed at the package of orthotic inserts. “I kept waiting for you to text me which ones to get.”
He gripped the back of his neck. “I wasn’t sure either, so I went to the pharmacy to check out the options. Since I was already there, I figured I should get the ones that looked best. I wanted you to have them as soon as possible. The receipt’s inside if you need a different size.”
“Thank you,” I said, clutching the bag to my chest. “That’s really thoughtful.”
He smiled and my stomach flipped.
“Ready?” he asked holding out his arm. I put the inserts on the hall table and grabbed the clutch, linking my arm with his.
“Are you ok to walk in those shoes?” he asked, frowning down at my sandals.
“Yes,” I said. “They have great arch support.” At least I think they did. They were definitely a step up from my flip flops. If Cal had his way, I’d be in old lady shoes, hiking boots, or sneakers.
“Ok,” he said, his brow still furrowed. “If the walk gets to be too much, I’ll run back and get the car.”
“I’m fine,” I said, giving his arm a squeeze. “It’s a beautiful night. Let’s enjoy it.”
We started off, our pace agonizingly slow.
“I’m not decrepit,” I said with a soft laugh. “Honestly, walking feels good. It’s only an issue after I’ve been sitting too long.”
Cal nodded. “That makes sense with a disc bulge or excision.”
“Hey,” I said, stopping in the middle of the street. “I appreciate the concern, Dr. Cardoso, but I’d rather enjoy a walk with Caleb.”
He laughed. “Sorry. I meant to thank you, by the way. Adam seemed pleased with your progress, all things considered. He hasn’t complimented me since everything with Avery went down. It gives me hope I’ll be able to hang onto my job.”
I had more important things to discuss than Avery Peterson, but I couldn’t shake her perfect face from my mind. “Do you think you can convince her to take down her reviews?”
Cal blew out a breath. “I hope so. Honestly, I’d rather not talk about her, especially with you.”
“Oh,” I said, my stomach sinking. “Sure.”
Cal glanced at me and frowned. “I said the wrong thing again, didn’t I?”
I waved my hand. “No, it’s fine.”
We turned onto Broad Street, and he stepped closer to wrap his arm around my waist. I relaxed into his touch.
“As long as Avery stops writing new reviews, I might be ok. Cam has gotten a ton of my former patients to write glowing reviews to help counteract the negative ones.”
“That’s fantastic,” I said, looking up at him. “I’ll write one when I get home.”
“You’re still my patient,” he said, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.
I stopped walking, and he looked at me with concern. “What else am I?”
“What do you mean?”
“To you, Caleb. What am I?”
“Someone I enjoy spending time with.”
I nodded. “Same.”
He smiled and started to walk again, but I kept my feet firmly on the sidewalk. After a few steps, he turned to face me.
“My old company offered me a job,” I said. “A promotion really. They fired my ex and my boss, then offered me her job.”
Several emotions flashed across his face before he settled on a huge smile. “That’s great.”
“Is it?”
“Well, it means you can stop job hunting, right?”
“It also means I’d be moving back to DC.”
“Yeah,” he said, staring down at his shoes. “I figured that.”
“I’m not sure if it’s what I want. The job or living in DC. I’m curious what you think about it.”
He looked at me, his expression suddenly blank. “Why would you care what I think?”
I felt the words like a punch to the chest, but still I drew myself up as tall as I could and said, “Because I care about you.”
He shook his head and stared past my shoulder down Broad Street toward Sullivan, as though he wanted to rewind the conversation to a point in the walk before it began and steer it, and us, in a different direction.
“Rowan,” he said, and in my name I heard everything he was about to say. He didn’t feel the same. He didn’t want a relationship, at least not with me. We would never be anything more.
I held up my hands to stop him. “It’s ok. You were very clear. If you don’t mind, though, I think I’ll head back. If I’m moving to DC in a week, I have a lot to do. I’ll finish my last two PT sessions up there. Thank you,” I said as though we were wrapping up an unsuccessful job interview. “You really helped my back. I know whatever pain I still have isn’t something you can fix. I’ll be sure to write a glowing review. Good luck with Avery.”
I turned and started back toward Sullivan Street. He called my name twice, each time a hint of something painful growing, but didn’t follow. Before I turned the corner, I looked back to the stretch of sidewalk where I’d left him. He was already gone.