26. Chapter 26
Chapter twenty-six
Cal
As soon as I paid for our drinks, I led Avery to a table on the sidewalk outside Karma. Skye devoured her pup cup then tucked herself under the table, laying her head on my feet.
Avery settled into a chair with a smile, angling her body toward the street, either to avoid touching Skye or so everyone could see her face as they traveled down Main. Half the town would assume we’d rekindled our relationship before she finished her cappuccino.
My stomach protested the first sip of iced Chai. I’d had nothing but beer since lunch yesterday. I wanted to be hungover in the comfort of my home, but the sooner I got through this conversation the better.
“You look terrible, baby,” Avery said, eyeing me over the lid of her to-go cup. “Normally, I’d be annoyed you hadn’t dressed up for our date, but I’ll let it slide this time since you’re clearly so upset over us.”
“This isn’t a date,” I said. “It’s a conversation.”
“Still, you could have worn something better than old gym clothes.”
I rubbed my forehead. This was a mistake. Avery would never take down her reviews, and this little chat could end up doubling her efforts to ruin my career.
“Hey,” Avery said, reaching across the table to take my hand.
I pulled my fingers away like she’d burned me, and she leaned back with a hurt expression on her face.
“You’re really mad at me,” she said in a soft voice.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I be mad? I’m about to get fired because of the crap you posted online.”
Her eyes filled with tears but she blinked them back and sat taller. “I just wanted you to understand how much you’d hurt me.”
I blew out a breath. “I told you from the beginning, we were just messing around.”
“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t still have feelings for you?” she said, slapping her manicured hand on the metal table. Skye whimpered and buried her nose between my feet. “You were my first everything, Cal.”
“And you were mine. But a whole lot happened between high school and now, including you dumping me.”
“Admit it. If it’d just been sex, we wouldn’t have talked so much on the phone or gone out to dinner as often as we did. This was all payback, wasn’t it?”
“You honestly believe I’m so petty that I’d plan to hurt your feelings over a decade after you hurt mine? I’ll admit I slipped back into the habits we had in high school, but I figured you were still just having fun like I was.”
She shook her head; the tears she fought earlier returned. This time, she allowed them to stream down her face. “Breaking up with you is the biggest regret of my life. I still cared about you then. The truth is, I’ve never stopped caring. I was afraid you’d go off to college and meet someone else. I just couldn’t take being left again. My dad really messed me up, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“You’re better off without him, Ave,” I said, taking her hand.
“I know,” she said, giving my fingers a squeeze. “But I guess I’ve never really gotten over it or losing you. When you joined Dr. Cohen’s practice, I was excited you were back in town, but more than that, I was relieved. Despite everything that happened, you were doing so well. I mean, who would have thought the guy who almost failed freshman biology would earn a doctorate in physical therapy?”
She chuckled and the knot in my throat relaxed enough for me to speak. “It was English. I got an A in biology freshman year.”
Avery nodded, a soft smile on her face. “That’s right, Mrs. Evers made you memorize and perform that entire Hamlet speech in front of the class. That’s when I knew I wanted to be your girlfriend.”
I nodded. “I was so nervous. I didn’t think I’d get through it. Logan memorized the whole thing with me and mouthed the words from the front row.”
She let out a shuddery breath. “He was a good guy.”
“The best,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze before letting it go. We looked at each other and smiled. “I hope you believe that I never meant to hurt you. I was being honest when I said I don’t do relationships.”
She pressed her lips together and nodded. “I know that now. I just figured you’d want more after we were together, and the way we were always talking and hanging out, I assumed we were more than casual. I’m sorry about the reviews. I knew I’d taken it too far when people started glaring at me around town. Even Mr. Wilson was cold to me. If the sweetest man on the planet hates you, there’s a good chance everyone does. I know what I did wasn’t right, but I was hurt and trying to get your attention. I didn’t think it through. I never meant to put your job in danger.”
“An apology isn’t enough, Ave. I need you to undo some of the damage you’ve caused. If you take down all your reviews, I should be ok.”
“I’ll start as soon as I get home,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
I let out a long breath and sagged back into my chair. “Thank you. And I’ll be sure to let people know you did.”
She pushed back from the table and stood. “I get now that you and I will never work. There’s too much history, good and bad. You bring out the worst in me, and I don’t bring out the best in you.” She paused and gripped my shoulder. “For what it’s worth, you’re ready for more than casual. And I think you want it too. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been so easy for me to assume we were in a relationship. You’ll make someone a great partner. Goodbye, Cal.”
“Bye, Ave,” I said. “See you around.”
In a town this size, it would be impossible not to, but whether those moments were awkward or not was up to her. As long as she took down her reviews, I could pass her on the street with a smile, and I hoped she’d be able to do the same. I watched her climb into her car before I tossed my full cup in a trash bin and headed for the park with Skye. Chris and Aiden were already there when I arrived, passing a ball back and forth.
“Looking good,” I said, walking toward them.
Chris’s eyes hardened and he threw the ball at me so hard it knocked the air from my lungs.
“I see you’ve packed some heat on your throw,” I said with a laugh.
“Fuck you, Cal,” Chris said, lunging at me.
Aiden stepped between us, placing a firm hand on Chris’s chest. Skye barked but seemed unsure who to protect, her eyes flicking from Chris to me.
“If you punch him, you might get hurt,” Aiden said. “You don’t want an injury this close to tryouts.”
“What the hell?” I asked, throwing the ball to the ground.
“Seriously,” Chris said, trying to duck around Aiden.
“Would you feel better if I punched him?” Aiden asked.
Chris nodded. Aiden turned, and I had half a second to dodge his fist. Skye growled at Aiden and he took a step back.
“What the fuck, man,” I said.
“Sorry, kid,” Aiden said. “He’s agile.”
“I bet I could hit him.” Chris lunged again and Aiden pinned his arms.
“Suicide sprints. Now,” Aiden shouted. “Run out the anger. Got it? I’ll deal with him.”
Chris nodded and took off with a stack of cones, which he set up as far away from us as he could without leaving the park. Aiden waited until Chris started running intervals before he shook his head and said, “You know I gave you time to dodge.”
“Yeah,” I said, eyeing him cautiously as I bent to pet Skye. “I still don’t understand why you wanted to hit me. Or why Chris does, for that matter.”
“Because, dumbass, you broke up with his sister last night, and he saw you getting cozy with Avery this morning. Believe me, I wanted to punch you. Rowan seems like a sweetheart, and the kid adores her. But I figured I should hear your side first. Plus, I don’t trust your dog not to bite me.”
“I didn’t break up with Rowan,” I said rubbing the sudden ache in my chest. “We were never together. We had some fun, but she got offered a job in DC. She’s moving, so that’s it.”
“So, now you’re fucking Avery again?”
“Of course not,” I yelled, standing. Skye let out a huff and laid on the ground. “We talked out our shit. She’s taking down the reviews and moving on with her life. Just like I am.”
He nodded and yelled to Chris, “He’s just an idiot, not a douchebag. There’s nothing going on with him and Avery. Get over here.”
Chris ran to us, his face red from rage, exertion, or both. “I thought you wanted me to run out the anger.”
“Nah,” Aiden said, patting Chris’s shoulder. “You need some of that for the training exercises I have planned. I just wanted more info before I decided if Cal deserved to be punched.”
“Nice,” I said. “What have you decided?”
Aiden shook his head. “There’s no point,” he said to Chris. “He’s hurt himself more than either of us could. He still thinks he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone.”
Chris nodded. “Yeah, he’s an idiot.”
“Hey,” I said, stepping toward them. “Like I said before, what happens between Rowan and me is our business.”
“And what about what doesn’t happen?” Chris said, raising his eyebrow.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.
Chris laughed, but it sounded hollow. “Why? Because I’m still in high school? I might be younger than you, but I’ve lived with three women my whole life. I have a pretty good understanding of them, overall, and my sisters, especially. And unlike you, I’m not a jaded prick.”
“Watch it,” I said through gritted teeth.
Chris shook his head. “Thanks for all the time you’ve given me this summer, but I’d rather train with Aiden from now on. Assuming you don’t mind?” he added, glancing at Aiden.
“Happy to help,” Aiden said, tossing a football in his hands. “You heard the kid, Cal. Go home. Take a nap. You look like shit.”
“You’re serious?” I asked.
Chris nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll still walk Skye. It’s not her fault you’re an idiot.”
With that, he grabbed the ball from Aiden and took off. Aiden raced after him, leaving me alone with Skye, who snuggled up to me with a whimper. After watching them work together a few minutes, it became clear they had no intention of including me, so Skye and I walked back to where I’d parked my car near Karma.
As I loaded Skye into the SUV, Lauren threw open the café door and ran toward me. I held up my hands to protect my face, but instead of hitting me, she wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into a strong hug. Lauren made great hot chocolate, and we usually exchanged a few words when I came into Karma, but we weren’t on hugging terms, or so I thought.
I dropped my hands from their defensive position and patted her back awkwardly.
“Sorry I almost spit in your Chai,” she said, taking a step back.
“No worries,” I said. “I’m not dating Avery. I don’t do relationships.” I had no idea why I was spilling my guts on the sidewalk to the woman whose role in my life could best be described as my favorite barista.
She nodded. “I get it. Better than anyone.”
I realized then that I’d often seen Lauren around town on dates, but never with the same guy. I couldn’t name anyone she’d been with longer than a week, though several men I knew had taken her out and asked for another date only to be turned down. Gently, of course. But turned down all the same.
“You don’t do relationships either?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
She shook her head. “Nope. I’ve never met anyone worth the risk.”
I nodded, and her eyes hardened.
“But you have.” She slapped my chest and then pulled me in for another hug. “No matter what you’re afraid of, I promise, she’s worth it.” Before I could say anything, Lauren let me go and went back into Karma.
I stood on the sidewalk as the truth of her words sank in. I knew I’d hurt Rowan last night. I saw the pain on her face. I kept seeing it, despite every beer I drank at Church, until I passed out on my living room couch. I felt guilty. Plain and simple. Or so I thought. Pain shot through my chest, the ache so powerful and sudden, I wondered if I was having some kind of medical event. It was the type of hurt that had its own mass, the sheer weight of it enough to crush the breath from your lungs. I’d felt it before, waking up in the hospital to a broken body, my parents holding my hands as they delivered the news that shattered my entire life. I lived with that weight until I pushed it down. I focused on healing my body, then earning my degree, building a career, and deciding what color to paint my fucking house. I’d kept moving forward, one step beyond this terrible pain that wanted to eat me alive.
I stumbled to the driver’s side, but when I saw how badly my keys shook in my hands, I dropped them on the street and pulled my phone from my pocket.
“I can’t drive,” I said, each word pushed out with a burst of air that tightened the ache in my chest.
There was a pause as I fumbled on the ground for my keys.
“The app says you’re near Karma,” Theo said. “Is that right?”
I nodded. Then made a noise that I hoped sounded like a confirmation.
“I’m on my way, brother.”
I ended the call, started the engine, and crawled into the back seat with Skye, praying I could hold it together long enough for Theo to drive me home.