28. Chapter 28
Chapter twenty-eight
Cal
Skye didn’t move her head from my knee when the doorbell rang. Other than when I went to work today, she hadn’t left my side in days. I patted her head and stood. The short distance to the front door felt like miles. I must have walked too slowly since Theo pushed the door open before I could. Skye burst past me, no doubt relieved someone else had come to take care of my sorry ass. Theo put his key to my house in his pocket before crouching to rub Skye’s belly.
Aiden paused in the doorway behind Theo and scanned me like a crack in a foundation he’d been hired to fix. “Let’s go,” he said.
Theo stopped petting Skye and gave him a confused look. “Where are we going?”
“My house. Bring the dog. We might need her.”
I shook my head. “The game’s about to start.”
“None of us give a shit about that game,” Aiden said. “There’s something I need to show y’all.”
“You’re finally letting us in your house?” Theo asked.
“Nope,” Aiden said, rubbing his forehead like it ached. “What I have to show you is on the property. Grab a leash for the mutt. I don’t feel like chasing her through a cornfield.”
At the word leash, Skye took off and grabbed hers, then pranced beside the door. I clipped it to her collar and stepped onto the porch in time to see Poppy drive by in her hearse. She slowed, rolled down the window, and flipped me off.
Theo raised his hand and waved. She waved her single-finger salute at him as well. The bastard smiled but cleared his throat and adapted his signature scowl when he caught me watching him.
“Shotgun,” Aiden called.
I folded myself into the backseat of Theo’s extended cab with Skye. The drive to Aiden’s was long and quiet. Theo took back roads to avoid the stretch of Route 33 that had changed all our lives.
When we pulled in front of Aiden’s old farmhouse, Theo turned off the truck and looked at him. “Well?”
Instead of answering, Aiden climbed out and tromped into the field behind his house. Theo, Skye, and I followed through the overgrown grass. A grasshopper jumped out of our path, and I wondered what other creatures lurked in the tall blades. I’d have to do a tick check on Skye and myself for sure.
“Where are we going?” Theo asked, jogging to catch up with Aiden.
Aiden pointed ahead but didn’t say anything. I followed behind them with Skye, the knot in my stomach tightening. It wasn’t like Aiden to be quiet. He shouted his thoughts as soon as he had them. Whatever he was about to show us wasn’t something he wanted to talk about, and that scared the hell out of me. At the edge of the field, Aiden stopped and leaned against an old split-rail fence. He stood several minutes, staring across the road at a neighboring field.
“What are we looking at?” Theo asked.
Aiden pointed to the far right and my heart stopped.
“Fuck,” I said, leaning against the fence.
Theo looked between us, confusion on his face.
Far across the field, through a slight break in a stand of trees, stood a dilapidated barn. The entire structure listed to the right, the faded red paint chipped in places to bare wood. The tree break framed the barn on either side, a gouge of fresh earth marking where more had been.
“Through the trees,” Aiden said.
Theo looked again and tensed, then sank to the ground. Skye whimpered and tugged on her leash. I walked closer, so she could curl into Theo’s lap. He buried his face in her fur, his shoulders heaving as he struggled to breathe.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked Aiden, shoving him hard in the chest. The man was such a tank, his feet didn’t budge.
“The same thing that’s wrong with you and Theo,” he said.
“You’re a sick fuck,” I said.
Aiden nodded. “I know. That barn is why I bought this place.”
“Why would you want to see that?” I asked. “And from your own backyard, no less.”
Aiden turned from me and stared off at the barn again.
Theo lifted his head, his face pale. “Why?” He forced out between labored breaths.
“Because,” Aiden said, his voice so quiet, I had to lean in to hear. “I wanted to be close to Logan.”
Logan was buried in the Baptist cemetery in Peace Falls, but he’d spent his last night in the barn on Old Man Crawford’s farm. While her grandparents visited friends in Richmond, Crawford’s granddaughter had hosted a final party before everyone scattered to their post-high-school lives.
Aiden kicked the fence post by his foot. “I moved here to be close. Earlier this year, I bought Crawford’s place too.”
“You bought the barn?” I asked.
Aiden nodded.
“So you could knock it down?” Theo asked. Some of the color had returned to his face. Skye licked his hand, and he rubbed her ears.
“No,” Aiden said. “Maybe. I don’t know. I just wanted it. At the rate Peace Falls is growing, it’s only a matter of time before a developer builds subdivisions out here. I figured I ought to snatch it up while I could. Plus, Old Man Crawford needed money. We made a deal that lets him stay in the house as long as he wants.”
“So, you’re going to build a subdivision?” I asked, still confused.
“No,” Aiden snapped. “Hell, no. I like it out here. It’s peaceful. I bought it so no one else would.”
“Because you feel close to Logan here,” Theo said.
Aiden nodded. “I know it seems dumb. It’s not like it’s the football field where we practiced together or any other place in town with so many memories I want to choke. The barn is special. It was the last place our lives made sense.”
Theo nodded. “Still, it’s triggering as hell. I wouldn’t want to look at it every day.”
“Yeah,” Aiden said. “Hurts every time I do.”
“Then why do you?” I snapped. “You give Theo shit for his tattoos and cutting, but what you’re doing is worst. Not to mention, you thought it’d be a good idea to drag us here to suffer with you.”
“Just you,” Aiden said, slapping my shoulder. “Sorry, Theo. I took one look at Cal and knew it was time, but I should have given you a head’s up.”
“I get it, man,” Theo said, standing. He pulled Aiden into a crushing hug, thumping his back.
“Well, I still don’t,” I said, crossing my arms.
“Do you want to tell him?” Aiden asked. “Or should I?”
“I’ll do it,” Theo said. “If he takes a swing at me, hold him back.”
Aiden nodded.
Theo took a deep breath and said, “You can’t run from it anymore.”
“Run from what?” I asked, bending to check Skye’s ears for ticks. I should be home watching a game I hated, not standing in a bug-infested field talking riddles.
“The grief,” Aiden said.
“He's getting waves of it already,” Theo said. “I saw it on Saturday. Bad burrito my ass. Admit it. You were shaking so bad you couldn’t drive because something made you think of Logan, more specifically losing him.”
“Ah,” Aiden said, nodding. “The kid’s sister.”
“Yeah,” Theo said, “That’s my guess too. Did you break up or something?”
“She got a job offer in DC,” Aiden said. “And like an idiot, he told her good luck.”
“I didn’t tell her good luck.” Skye whimpered and I patted her head.
“But you didn’t ask her to stay. Or suggest you keep dating long distance,” Aiden said.
“I don’t do relationships,” I said.
Theo and Aiden both started laughing.
“I don’t,” I said, standing.
Aiden knocked my shoulder. “You’re the king of relationships, Cal. You’ve practically adopted the kid and that hot little piece at your office.”
My blood boiled. I shoved Aiden hard enough this time to knock him into the fence. “Do not call Cammie that.”
“Spoken like a true brother,” Aiden said, laughing. “Thanks for proving my point.”
“I meant romantic relationships,” I said. “I don’t date. I don’t have girlfriends. I fuck when I need to and move on.”
“Charming,” Theo said, shaking his head.
“I should have let the kid clock him,” Aiden said.
“Answer me this,” Theo said. “Do you think you’re honoring Logan with the work you do?”
My chest tightened and a lump formed in my throat. I did, but I’d never said that to either of my friends. Logan wanted to be a physician. He was so ridiculously smart; he would have been an amazing one. Hell, he might have cured cancer. Bare minimum, he would have given the best care he could to every patient he treated. I nodded. “I try to.”
“You are,” Aiden said, gripping my shoulder. “You should see the love fest for you online now.”
He pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolled a bit, and held it out. Sure enough, my rating was now a 4.9. Avery must have followed through and taken down her reviews. I started to hand the phone back, but Aiden shook his head.
“Scroll down.”
I did as he said, and the first comment sent a searing pain through my chest.
Dr. Cardoso is a dedicated physical therapist. He does everything he can to help his patients heal from their injuries. It’s no exaggeration to say he changed my life. I was so broken at our first session, I could barely walk. He helped me gain the strength I needed to climb whatever mountains life puts in my way. I’m certain he will help many more people find the strength they need to live the lives they want. He’s five stars as both a PT and a person. I wish him all the best.
“ Rowan,” I said. She left the review despite canceling her appointment today. Cammie assured me Rowan had just moved her session to tomorrow, but I thought for sure I’d never see her in the office again.
“You’re falling for her, idiot,” Theo said. “And you’re pushing her away either because it scares the shit out of you or because you think you don’t deserve to be happy. Which is it?”
“Scared shitless,” Aiden said.
I swallowed and nodded.
“I’m scared of that damn dog,” Aiden said pointing at Skye, who perked up at the attention. “All dogs, really. But you two love her, so I grew a pair and put up with her.”
“Sort of,” Theo said and chuckled.
“Look, Cal,” Aiden said, “all I know is you’ve smiled more since you started spending time with Rowan than you have in years.”
“And he made a picnic and took her hiking,” Theo added.
“How did you know that?” I asked.
“Poppy told me. Admit it, you’re crushed she’s moving,” Theo said.
“I’m fine,” I said automatically.
Theo and Aiden shook their heads.
“You’ve done a great job living your best life, professionally,” Theo said. “You went from goofing around and planning to take the easy route with your dad’s business to working your ass off in school and after. All of that kept you busy enough you never considered why you didn’t want a girlfriend, but you owe it to yourself, and to Logan, to consider it now. To want more in your life than work.”
“It’s been ten years,” Aiden said lifting his chin toward the barn. “I don’t know about y’all, but I’m tired. Tired of pretending like I’m ok when I’m not. Tired of seeing you hurt yourself, Theo, or you living half the life you could be, Cal. Of the three of us, you’ve got your shit together the most, and you’re about to let an amazing woman walk out of your life without a fight. It’s time. I don’t know what that means yet, for any of us. But for me, it starts there,” he said pointing to the barn.
“What do you have in mind?” I asked.
Aiden shrugged. “Hell if I know.”
“We go to the barn,” Theo said. “On the anniversary. I can’t go back to where the accident happened.” Theo looked between Aiden and me, his eyes pleading. “I can’t. I remember every detail of every moment, anyway.”
Aiden nodded, but the two of us shared a look. We’d both been knocked out cold, but Theo had lived the entire event, including finding Logan’s body. Like Theo, I avoided that same stretch of Route 33. Maybe it was time I faced it. But not with him.
“No, the barn makes sense,” I said. Theo sagged with relief.
“I like it,” Aiden said. “What about the Stevens sisters? Should we ask them to join us, so they understand what a fucked-up mess they’re getting themselves into with the pair of you?”
“Rowan,” Theo said.
“The Stevens sisters,” Aiden repeated.
Theo shook his head. “Poppy is just a friend.”
Aiden let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead again. “We’ll focus on Cal. Poppy isn’t moving anywhere.”
Adrenaline flooded my system, and my skin instantly went clammy. Rowan was days from leaving Peace Falls and taking my heart with her.
“I have to tell her how I feel,” I said.
“Try not to look like you want to puke when you do,” Aiden said and laughed.
Theo put his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got this, brother. Now, let’s go pretend to watch some baseball, and you can practice sharing your feelings with us.”
“Hell, no,” Aiden said. “I’m glad he has them, but I’m not role playing. Our friendship is weird enough.”
“I love you too, man,” Theo said pulling him into a hug. Aiden thumped his back before shoving him off and stomping back to the truck.