Chapter 17 #2
I’d studied enough evidence photos to turn my stomach.
I could only imagine what it’d be like to be present when those pictures were taken.
To be the one to ring the doorbell at 3AM and break someone’s heart.
It would eat at a person unless they went numb or could compartmentalize.
Based on the look on Levi’s face, he hadn’t done either.
“Levi,” I said, pulling him into a hug. He drew me closer, curling his body around mine until I was surrounded by him. The world fell away, and it was only the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear and the shallow rise and fall of his chest.
After a moment, he cleared his throat and straightened, the look his eyes still tragic. “Learning that other cops were part of the problem felt like a huge betrayal. But my dad suggesting I keep quiet about it hurt more. I didn’t know who to trust, and in a job like mine, trust is everything.”
“So you left,” I said, tears spilling from my eyes.
He gave me a small smile. “I like this,” he said, rubbing a stray tear from my cheek. “Not making you cry, that you feel comfortable doing it in front of me. You guard your softness.”
Wasn’t that the truth? And he was getting a little too close to it. “Want to walk to the falls now?”
He raised his eyebrows, no doubt recognizing another deflection. “Sure,” he said, standing and helping me off the log.
We walked to the edge of the path in comfortable silence.
The roaring cascade would have blocked our words anyway.
The ground vibrated, and we instinctively pulled closer to each other as we stared at the falls.
When I looked back at Levi, my breath caught in my throat.
His eyes had gone molten. He placed his hand on my face and leaned down, then paused, giving me a chance to step back.
When I didn’t, he lowered his mouth to mine with a kiss so powerful I couldn’t tell if the ground was shaking or I was.
He softened the kiss, making it tender, a promise of more than physical want.
By the time he pulled away, I felt dazed.
My legs were still wobbly as we started back toward the parking lot.
“Sometimes I feel like two different people, living two different lives,” I said as soon as the falls quieted behind us. “There’s the person I am at work, and the person I am everywhere else. I’m not sure which is the real me anymore.”
“What if they both are?” he said, lifting my hand to his mouth and giving it a quick kiss. “You seem completely authentic to me.”
I frowned. “I change my voice when I’m working.”
“I noticed that,” he said with a smile.
“So how can you say I’m completely authentic?”
He shrugged. “I drop my voice when I’m giving an order. Soften it when I’m trying to deescalate a situation. Not just on the job. Anytime it feels right. How you present yourself might change. Who you are as a person doesn’t.”
“I’m not sure I believe that. I feel like I’m pulled in opposite directions, and I’ll never have the life I want personally or professionally.”
“What do you want?” he asked, stopping in the middle of the path.
It hit me then that this wasn’t like any first date I’d ever been on. The topics were deeper, yet the conversation was easy. “Professionally, to be a partner in a law firm and to take cases I believe in, whether or not I’m paid.”
Levi nodded. “Seems like you’re on the right track there. What about personally? What does home look like to you in five years?”
Talk about jumping right in. “I assume you don’t mean the couch color?”
He shrugged. “If it helps you picture it? Why not?”
“OK, I’d live in a house, not an apartment.”
“In Peace Falls or somewhere else?”
“Peace Falls for sure. Maybe one of the Victorians further down Church Street. With a wraparound porch and a big backyard.”
He nodded. “And who’d live in this house?”
I chewed my lip. “Well, I’d have a she-shed in the backyard for Maddie, unless she’s found someone else she wants to live with.”
“Like a guesthouse?”
“Yes. I’m really close with my sister. All my family, really, but especially Maddie. After we lost our brother, Logan, we started looking out for each other like he had.”
“It’s obvious how much you love her,” Levi said. “I wish I had a sibling. It would have made losing my mom easier if I’d had someone with me going through it as well. I’m sure it would have helped my relationship with my dad too.”
“I can’t imagine being an only child.” I studied his face. He didn’t seem phased by the possibility of my sister living in my backyard, but this next bit had been a deal breaker for more than a few promising relationships. “Which is why I’d have a lot of kids in that dream house.”
“How many?” he asked, not blinking.
“You’re going to think I’m crazy.”
“Three?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Four?”
When I shook my head again, his eyes widened, but a smile tugged at his lips.
“Five?” he asked.
“As many as I can,” I said. “Crazy, right? No way can I have a gaggle of kids and a thriving law career. I work too many hours to have a dog, let alone a child.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Maybe not. I assume you’d have someone helping you.”
“Like a nanny?” I asked.
“With that many children, probably,” he said with a laugh. “Plus, all those babies had to come from somewhere. Unless you’re adopting or doing IVF, I assume the kids will have a dad? What’s he like?”
My cheeks warmed because this was the part of the conversation that would make or break us, assuming I hadn’t already scared him off with a brood of children. “I’m not sure.”
He shook his head and laughed. “You know you want a house with a wraparound porch, a she-shed for your sister, and ten plus kids, but you don’t know what you’re looking for in a partner?”
Besides someone I’d want to sleep with enough to have so many children, I drew a blank.
We started down the path again as I thought it over.
The list I’d given Maddie, pathetic as it was, was all I’d considered.
Was I the only one who didn’t have a pages-long wish list?
“All right, then, what’s your ideal partner? ”
“Easy,” he said, his voice going soft as he looked ahead down the path. “Someone who feels like home.”
I stutter-stepped, my foot tripping on air and whatever expectations I had for his answer. Because damn if that wasn’t perfect. “How’d you come up with that?” I asked, my voice tight.
He smiled and shrugged. “Probably heard it in a B-list movie. Doesn’t make it any less true.”
I huffed. He had a point.
“Admit it, that’s a pretty good answer,” he said. “Especially for someone domestic like me.”
“That really was a compliment,” I said softly.
“I know,” he said with a smile. “That’s the trail end ahead, isn’t it?”
“It is,” I said, unsure where he was going with the question. The end of the trail was pretty obvious.
“So, is it also the end of our date, or can I invite you back to my house for a late lunch?”
The offer was dangerous. We’d be alone. In private. Where he’d no doubt masterfully do something that made me want to climb him like a tree. Not to mention the attack pig. “What about Sherly?” I asked.
“Well, if this isn’t our first and only date, we’ll have to deal with her together at some point. Why not now?”
The counterargument formed in my mind, but I smiled at him and said, “Might as well.”