Chapter 18
AVERY MOORE
“Who are you texting so much?” I ask Ivy. We’re on our way back from the college, ready to climb into pajamas and eat pizza until we’re so stuffed we’ll have to find someone to roll us to our bedrooms.
There’s an extra pep in my step, and though I haven’t heard from Reid in a few days, I’m still on the high of our…encounter. The way he made me feel. The things he said to me.
The more I think about it, the more I’m warming up to the idea of him, but there’s one problem.
My brother said no to Reid at the beginning of all this, and when he finds out—because he will—it’ll be the ultimate betrayal from me all over again.
I don’t know if I could go through him not talking to me for…
forever. I would be breaking his rule even though that rule wasn’t given to me.
Even if my brother doesn’t end up blaming me and not talking to me ever again, he’ll do it to Reid.
The thought of those two not being friends anymore… I just can’t wrap my head around it.
That thought alone is something I have to consider. I may have warmed up to Reid, may have fantasized about what it would be like to have him, but would I really ask him—us—to give up our relationship with Dustin just to have one ourselves?
“Your brother,” Ivy says. There’s a look of concentration on her face, and red flags rise.
“Are you two fighting?”
She twists her lips to the side, but her fingers continue to tap on her screen. It’s amazing that she can even walk like this. I’d have tripped and fallen by now. “More like bickering.”
“Over what?” I’ve seen them bicker, but I can tell whatever they’re talking about is sapping her energy.
“Nothing,” she says, pocketing her phone with a grimace.
“Sure doesn’t look like nothing,” I grumble.
“So,” she says, pushing hair from her face that the wind whipped there and tightening her backpack straps. “Have you texted Reid yet?”
Biting my bottom lip is my only answer. I told her about what happened in my bedroom the other night. How could I not? It was a pivotal moment in…whatever we are. I needed someone to process this with.
Ivy had sat and listened like the good friend she is.
Even coming home exhausted from the diner, she sat there with me while I spilled the entire situation.
At the end of it, she had a smile on her face and gave me a big hug.
I don’t think she realizes how much trouble she could get into if Dustin found out she knew too.
“Oh, come on, Avery. Give the poor man a break, and let him save your number to his phone.”
I shake my head. “Honestly, I like it like this.”
“The old-fashioned way of courting?”
A smile spreads my cheeks. “Yeah, when you put it like that. It’s more fun.”
“You’re just making him work for it.”
“And enjoying it,” I admit quietly.
“Torture,” she murmurs. “The poor guy.”
I laugh. “Oh, come on. You’re even getting entertainment out of this.”
She cringes and then chuckles. “Guilty.”
Bumping shoulders with her, we cross the crosswalk and head toward our apartment building. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what’s going on between you and Dustin?”
Her mood sours a little. “Oh, you’ll find out soon enough.”
I frown at her. “What do you mean?”
“He told me it wasn’t a big deal. But honestly, I’m freaking out and therefore know you’re going to freak out.”
Sighing, we round the building and into the parking lot. “What did my brother do now?”
“Well…” She puckers her lips. “Both him and Reid.”
“Just spit it out, girl. Stop dancing around the problem.”
She glances at me then looks forward and points. I follow her line of sight, and a scowl takes over my face.
There are a few trucks with furniture in the back, and people are unloading it. Nice furniture, by the looks of it. Upon a squint, they’re people I recognize from Dustin’s party when I first moved here.
“Who the hell is moving into the building midsemester?”
She snatches my wrist as we pick up our pace a little bit, causing a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. “He said it wasn’t a big deal, but I can see that you’re getting mad, and I’m starting to panic.”
“No…no, he wouldn’t,” I whisper angrily as it begins to click in my head.
“Oh, but he did,” she grumbles, letting my wrist go as we approach the trucks. Just as we reach them, Dustin and Reid come out of the building, intent on grabbing more furniture to take upstairs to Dustin’s apartment. Their apartment.
Anger simmers in the pit of my gut. It takes everything I have not to march up to Reid and demand to know what the hell he was thinking.
The boys turn to us and smile, but their smiles fade when they see our expressions. I’ve never been good at hiding my feelings.
“What’s going on?” I ask, trying to keep the rage from my tone. I probably failed, but whatever. I’m beyond caring.
Dustin slaps a hand down on Reid’s bare shoulder. They’re both dressed similarly in a cutoff shirt and a pair of gym shorts, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that they came straight from working out. “Reid is moving in.”
“What about your other roommate?”
“He moved out yesterday,” Dustin answers, frowning. “Why are you so upset?”
I glance at Reid, who is trying to hide the smile on his face. “Don’t you have your own apartment?”
He shrugs. “I gave it up.”
“To slum it in college apartments?”
He shrugs again and then smirks the sexiest smirk there ever was. But it’s not going to work on me. I stare him down.
“His parents have cameras on his apartment. It’s why he doesn’t have any parties and is always here,” Dustin divulges.
“What? Why?” I ask.
“They own the building,” Reid answers.
“So, he’s breaking free,” Dustin says, puffing his chest like he had everything to do with Reid’s newfound freedom.
Someone calls Dustin over to the furthest truck, leaving me, Ivy, and Reid standing there on the sidewalk. I simmer with so much anger that I’m sure my face is beet red.
“Why are you so mad?” he asks quietly.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Ivy says sarcastically. “Maybe because you’re playing a dangerous game.”
He crosses his arms. “How so?”
I poke his chest, and my finger bounces off hard muscle. “How the hell are we supposed to keep this from Dustin when you literally live in the same apartment as him?”
A smile grows on his face. “So there is something between us?”
I throw my hands up in the air. “I thought the other night solidified that.”
He raises his eyebrows. “So we’re dating?”
“What? No.”
“So we’re seeing other people?”
“No!”
He rubs at his forehead. “I’m so confused.”
“You and me both,” Ivy says, touching his shoulder as she passes him. “I’m going inside while you two figure this out.” She pauses and whispers over her shoulder, “But you might want to keep your voices down.”
She heads inside, and Reid turns back to me. “What are we, Avery?”
I shuffle my weight from one foot to the other. “I don’t know. Okay? I haven’t figured that out yet.”
“Why?”
“Because! Have you not thought about the consequences?”
He glances over at Dustin, who’s laughing at something one of his buddies said. “I have.”
“Then surely you know this isn’t a good idea. And an even worse idea now that you live across the hall.”
He looks back at me, studies my face, takes me in, and I try not to squirm. “You’re worth it.”
I look down at my feet, the desire to say it back on the tip of my tongue. “You’ve made this so much harder,” I murmur.
“He’s going to find out eventually,” he whispers back. “We should just tell him.”
I whip my gaze back up to his, panic making my eyes wide. “No!” I hiss.
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll lose him as a friend, and I’ll lose him too. And even Ivy’s relationship could be in jeopardy.”
He slides a hand over his mouth and drops it to his side. “Not if we’re honest. You can’t know for certain how he’ll react.”
I shake my head. “But I do.”
“How?”
My chest heaves as I inhale slowly and push it out.
He patiently waits for me to explain. “When we were younger, Dustin had this dog. He was so sweet, a great dog, but he liked to run out the door and push his way through gates. One time, I was playing with the dog outside, wasn’t paying attention when I went through the gate, and he pushed through.
” I swallow thickly as the memory surfaces.
The sound of the brakes. The blare of the horn.
The pitch of the yelp. “He was hit by a car. We put him down that very night because the damage was beyond repair. It took Dustin forever to talk to me after that night. To acknowledge that I existed. I won’t…
I won’t lose my brother again. I won’t betray him again. ”
He reaches for me, thinks better of it, and flexes his hand as he settles it at his side again. “This is different, Avery. This isn’t death. This is happiness. Surely your brother wants you to be happy.”
I push a hand through my hair, fighting back tears. “I just…we can’t label this right now, Reid. I have to figure this out first.”
“We can figure it out together.”
I look back up into his eyes and see the sincerity in them. We stand there for a while, simply having a silent conversation about where we go from here and if we do it together or alone.
“I have feelings for you,” he eventually whispers.
Swallowing thickly, I nod. “I know.”
“Do you have feelings for me?”
I look over at Dustin, who catches my gaze and gives me a little wave. I wave back as I say, “I do.”
“Then we got this,” he murmurs when I turn my attention back to him. “We don’t have to label anything. I’m content simply being in your space.”
“Me too,” I whisper.
He looks around to make sure no one is watching before he closes the space between us and kisses my forehead. “We’ll continue this conversation some other time.” He steps away as I nod. “If we continue to talk, your brother will start to—”
“Figure it out, I know, I know.” I exhale sharply. “Okay. So move in, and we’ll just tread carefully while we figure this all out.”
He nods, dares a touch to my chin, and jogs toward Dustin. I watch as Dustin turns around at the sound of Reid’s footfalls and slaps him on the back as they climb into the back of the pickup.
This won’t end well, whatever this is between us. I know it won’t. I know my brother. The question is: How much am I willing to risk?
With a bit of nausea at the prospect, I head inside. I have every intention of taking Ivy out for a drink. I need a detox, and alcohol will have to be the antidote tonight.