Chapter 12
Oz
”Please don”t reject me.”
My brain stopped working. When it restarted, all I saw was red. Suddenly, I was no longer the chief of security and second to the king. I was on all fours, a cub again, vulnerable and pleading. The scene from my past unfolded with painful clarity: the cold, distant look in my mother”s eyes as I stood before her, small and desperate.
”Please don”t reject me,” I had begged, my voice quivering with fear. It was a plea for compassion, for a sign of her love, for any indication that I mattered. But the response was a harsh lesson, a backhand across the chest with claws out, a wound so deep it felt as though it had carved into my very soul.
”Just give me a chance,” Stella begged. ”Please.”
The damp earth of the forest underfoot snapped me back to the present, but the sting of that memory clung to me, as present as the scent of pine and moss that filled the air. My mother”s rejection was a scar that would never heal. My mind was still reeling from the flashback that had sent me alone and into danger when I came to a full understanding of the dire straits I now stood in.
This goddess among mortals thought any man would reject her. The blond suckface didn”t count. He was not mortal, and much less than a man. A woman as beautiful as Stella, with curves that had my canines aching, my molars throbbing, and my tongue damn near lolling out of my mouth? Rejection?
If she were mine, I would have stripped her naked upon sight and given my tongue worship duties on that lush body of hers. Starting with removing those ridiculous spiked shoes which had to be murder on her legs. But she wasn”t mine.
Liar, roared my panther, making me wince with the force of his certainty.
I shut out the sound of the beast and focused on the most important thing she just said.
”I can”t shift.”
The forest around us was a blur of green and brown, a wild tapestry that was both familiar and alien to me. Like the wilderness of Portland, the land looked as though it was trying to reclaim the space from the supernaturals that stubbornly clung to them when they were at the top of the food chain. They mistakenly thought they had a leg up on nature. But as the skyline was reminding them, there were far greater powers out there than them.
”You can”t shift?”
Stella stood before me. Her eyes shimmered with vulnerability and fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of shame.
I couldn”t fathom a life devoid of the freedom to shift, to feel the power and grace of my panther form. There was a time when I feared I might be trapped forever in that primal state, the wildness of the panther nearly consuming the boy I used to be whole. But to have never known the exhilaration of the run was unimaginable to me.
Without conscious thought, my hand reached out to her, intending only to coax her gaze upward, to remind her of her divine nobility. A goddess should never bow to any man, not even her king. But at the slightest contact, at the first brush of my fingertip on her soft flesh, she surged toward me, her body pressing against mine with a desperation that took my breath away.
My initial instinct was to retreat, to maintain the respectful distance her impending queenship demanded. Yet, as her warmth enveloped me, I found myself unable to resist the pull of her need. My arms wrapped around her as though she commanded it. It was of my own volition that I sniffed at her hair, gulping down the sweet vanilla scent of her and feeding it to my hungry beast.
”It”s all right, princess.”
She was not mine. She was destined to be my king”s, to be my queen. But as of now, she was not. That”s probably why I”d been calling her princess; she hadn”t assumed the throne yet.
Despite everything I knew—that she wasn”t my fated mate, that my ultimate loyalty was to my king—I found myself unable to push her away.
She calmed in my hold, and so did I. Even though I knew danger was gaining ground on us, I was loath to let go of this moment. It was like a dream. I hadn”t dreamed since… I don”t think I”d ever had a single dream in my life. Only waking nightmares.
The weight of my past, the guilt and regret, still shadowed me. It was a constant throb in my heart, a relentless reminder of the cub I had once been and the errors I’d committed. The loneliness that ensued had shaped me, transformed me into the leashed weapon I”d become. It also etched scars, deep and unforgiving, that ached sharply as Stella gazed up at me.
I gazed down at her and saw more than just the woman standing before me. I saw a kindred spirit, someone else touched by the stiff hand of rejection. My instincts as a protector roared to life. I couldn”t let her experience that pain, that desolation. Never again.
A part of me wanted to wait for that suck hard vampire who hurt her. I could almost taste his blood on my tongue. But duty overruled that.
”I need to get us out of here.”
”There”s a car about a mile away,” she said.
”How do you know that?”
She tapped her temple. She possessed the sight, just like Dion. Yet another sign they were destined for each other.
It took us twenty painstaking minutes to reach the car. Her shoes were the culprit, slowing us down. Countless times I wanted to yank them off her feet, but then she”d be barefoot and entirely at the mercy of the wilderness. I also fought the urge to hoist her over my shoulder and carry her. That right wasn”t mine.
The car roared to life, its rumble resonating with the panther within me. I scented the two teens a distance off. Heard a male grunt of pleasure. Heard a feminine gasp that was fake pleasure. Then a fruitless scramble of clothes and shoes as I steered through the dark, tree-lined path.
The night wrapped around us, a cool shroud of secrecy. The dashboard lights cast a soft glow on Stella”s face, highlighting her features in a serene light. I held the steering wheel tightly, a battlefield within me where man and panther collide.
The beast within was agitated. Drawn to Stella, to her scent that filled the car — a blend of wildflowers and that sweet essence of vanilla. Vanilla was said to be calming. Instead, it called to my primal side, demanding I claim her as mine.
But my duty to Dion, my king and savior, acted as a shackle. The internal struggle was relentless, a war between what I desired and what I owed. The panther inside clawed at my confines, its longing clear. I had to quell its desires. I could not—would not—betray the one who gave my life meaning, who’d rescued me from a fate of isolation and sorrow.
The silence in the car was a third passenger between us. A quick glance at Stella showed tears shimmering in her eyes, a sight that sliced through me sharply. She was still under the impression I”d reject her, resigning herself to a fate devoid of a true mate.
I yearned to unveil the truth, to confess that Dion, the best man I knew, was her destined mate. Well, he would be the best man. Now that he had a mate. He would give up all the women and whoring.
I was certain.
My hands fidgeted on the steering wheel as I recalled my last sight of Dion as I left the House of Blood and Beryl. He”d helped me procure the portal potion from a witch. It was clear that payment for her services would be handled in his bedroom. He”d waved me off with a salute as the witch had tugged him down the hall.
But that was likely his last time with another woman. When he caught the scent of his mate, saw her for real and not just in a vision, he would be devoted to her. I was sure.
And when he did, Stella would see that he was the best man for her. He was dedicated to his kingdom, to his people, and to his duties. He would dedicate himself to her. And so would I as chief of security. It would be my duty to ensure my queen was protected.
”I”m not worthy of a beautiful princess like you. But I vow to protect you with my life until my last breath.”
It was a promise I intended to keep, no matter the cost. It was the only vow I could make her.
”Do you really think I”m beautiful?” She turned to me with eyes seeking affirmation, seeking something honest and real.
I met her gaze, letting her see the truth in my eyes. ”I will always tell you the truth. I might not be able to tell you everything, but a lie will never leave my lips. You have my complete loyalty.”
The words were a balm to the turmoil within me, a bridge between the man and the beast. From the smile that spread across her face, I knew they pleased her. Inside my chest, I felt something unlock. Which was odd because that space had been hollow for more than half my life.
The road stretched out before us, a ribbon of possibilities and uncertainties. I drove on, the sound of the engine a steady heartbeat in the quiet of the night. Stella sat beside me, a presence that both soothed and tormented me.
”I know I”m weak,” Stella said into the quiet of the night. ”But I”ll try to be better. I”ll be what you need.”
Her words were a slash at my chest. The thing that had unlocked moments ago made a groaning sound. I scratched at my chest instead of reaching for her. I wanted to growl. Not at her, but at the circumstances that had made her doubt her own worth. I glanced at her, taking in her downcast eyes and the determined set of her jaw.
”You”re not weak, Stella. You don”t need to be anything other than who you are.”
She didn”t look at me. Her gaze was on the moon. Her teeth worried her bottom lip, begging for me to steal it from her and kiss it into believing me.
”What I need,” I continued, ”is for you to let me protect you.”
It was the truth, but not the whole truth. I’d omitted the part that screamed inside me—that she was my future queen, that she was the one my beast yearned for. It was a truth too dangerous, too volatile to acknowledge right now.