Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
D amian finally got it.
The reluctance to talk about her past, the stony silences, the wall she’d built around herself—it all made sense now. She’d been through hell, and even five years later, she hadn’t fully come to terms with it. Knowing her, he figured she hadn’t talked to anyone about it—not a therapist, not her old CIA colleagues, no one. She’d just bottled it up and kept pushing forward, like she always did.
Eventually, she pulled away, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was shaky. “I’m not usually such a mess. Being here... it’s brought everything back. That’s why I never returned.”
“I get it,” Damian said softly.
She gulped, nodding. “I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I thought I could handle it. I mean, it’s been five years.” She shook her head, glancing up at him with a tired expression. “And look at me.”
“I don’t think we ever truly get over losing someone we love,” he said quietly.
She gave a small, sad laugh, somewhere between a chuckle and a sniffle. “Then I’m screwed.”
So am I.
Damian felt the weight of his realization.
Out loud, he said, “Jaden was a hero. He died protecting you, the woman he loved.”
Her eyes glistened with fresh tears. “I know,” she whispered. “I think about that all the time. If I had to go, that’s the way I’d want it too.”
It was a heroic death, one Damian knew he could never live up to—not that he’d want to. Jaden would always be a hero in her eyes, a man who’d given everything to protect her. And that was where Damian’s admiration clashed with something darker. How could he possibly resent a man who’d sacrificed so much?
Yet, as much as he respected Jaden for what he’d done, he also hated him for holding onto Thorn’s heart so tightly, even from beyond the grave. How could he be jealous of a dead man? But there it was, gnawing at him, a bitterness he couldn’t shake.
She bit her lip, her voice shaky. “I also wonder if, you know, if I hadn’t gotten out of the water, maybe Jaden would still be alive.”
“You can’t think like that, Thorn. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“I know.” Her voice wavered. “It doesn’t stop me from wondering.”
He couldn’t blame her for replaying that day, wondering how things might’ve turned out differently. Hadn’t he done the same thing a thousand times after Rebecca left?
“Was Jaden a CIA agent too?” He was curious about the man who’d left such a huge void in her life.
She shook her head, a small, wistful smile forming. “No, he was an architect. He worked for a firm that designed these incredible buildings all over the world. We met in Paris. I was on assignment, pretending to be an art dealer, and he was there for a design conference.”
“Was it love at first sight?” He wasn’t sure why he asked, but the words slipped out.
“Actually, no.” She managed a thin smile. “I thought he was a little full of himself—typical creative. But that was before I really knew him.”
Hadn’t she thought Damian cocky once too?
Damian returned to his chair. Thorn had pulled herself together. Her eyes were red, and she looked pale, but she wasn’t on the verge of tears anymore. “Appearances can be deceiving,” he said quietly.
“That’s true.” She sat down too, immediately refilling her glass. “Look, I’m sorry for falling apart like that, especially on assignment. It’s embarrassing.”
“Don’t be, and there’s no need to apologize. I’m not just some high-value target you’re protecting. I care about you.” And he really meant it. Even though they’d only known each other for a few days, they’d been through so much that it felt like months.
She was one of the bravest, smartest, and most beautiful women he’d ever met, and he was falling for her hard.
But it was clear now—there was no room for him in her heart. Not with Jaden still there, an unshakable presence in her life.
How could he compete with a memory?
A surge of jealousy hit, but he drowned it out with another shot of tequila.
“Thanks, Damian.” Her voice softened. “That means a lot.”
There was a pause, then she spoke again. “Actually, do you mind if I turn in for the night? I’m exhausted.”
“Sure, no problem.” He didn’t even bother asking if she wanted him to join her. He already knew the answer. It was hard enough being in Jaden’s house, surrounded by Jaden’s things, drinking Jaden’s tequila. The last thing she’d want was to complicate things further by having him in the bed she’d shared with her husband. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She gave him a sad smile, got up, and went inside. “See you tomorrow,” she said softly before disappearing into the house.
Damian stayed on the terrace, long into the night. By the time he turned in, the tequila bottle was almost empty.