Addiction - Chapter 7 #2
He took a step toward me, pressing my back against the wall.
He pushed my tank top up my sides. It had been so long since he had looked at me like that.
It was like a drug. And I needed more. I lifted my arms in the air and let him pull my shirt the rest of the way off.
He grabbed my jaw and turned my face toward him.
His fingers dug into my skin. "I will never share you again. Do you understand me?"
"Yes." My voice was shaky. How could I want him so badly right now? I had never been angrier with anyone in my life.
He shoved my yoga pants off my hips and down my thighs. I stepped out of them. He put his hands on the wall on either side of my face. "I want to fuck you. Hard. Is that what you want?"
"Yes," I gasped. He wasn't touching me, but I had never felt so aroused.
He pushed his sweatpants down, grabbed my ass, and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around him as he sunk his cock deep inside of me.
Oh God. I closed my eyes and let the sensation fill me.
He moved his hips fast, knocking my ass against the wall.
I buried my hands in his hair, pulling his head down to my neck.
He placed a kiss against my collarbone. He squeezed my ass as his length went in and out of me.
I could feel his hot, ragged breath against my neck. I groaned.
"You think I ruined you?" he whispered into my ear. He thrust his cock even deeper.
I gasped.
He bit my earlobe. "I'll show you what it's like to be ruined."
I whimpered at his naughty words.
He kept his hands on my ass but pulled out of me. I felt empty without him. He set me on my feet and turned me around. My whole body felt alive, like only he could do to me. He leaned forward so that his erection was on the small of my back. He grabbed my hands and put them on the wall.
I was breathing fast, waiting to see what he did.
"You asked me to punish you." He grabbed my hips and pulled them back so that I was arching my back with my hands still pressed against the wall. "And I intend to." His voice sounded tight. "Don't move out of this position." He slapped my ass hard with his palm.
I gasped in surprise.
"When I tell you it's time to go, you will not make me ask twice. Do you understand?"
"Yes," I said breathlessly.
He spanked me again.
Fuck. Why is this turning me on?
"You will not jeopardize your safety on purpose."
"I didn't..."
He slapped my ass harder. "Do you understand?"
"Yes."
He cradled my ass in his hand, caressing it gently. His other hand slipped between my thighs. My body trembled with anticipation. One of his fingers slid inside my wetness.
"Professor Hunter," I panted.
And then he spanked me harder still. "And you will not lie to me." Another one of his fingers joined in.
"Never." My cheek stung. But his fingers were driving me crazy. All I could feel was the sensation of him inside of me, teasing me.
He slapped my ass again. "Tell me that you need me as much as I need you."
"I need you. I need you, Professor Hunter." And it was true. I needed him. I had never stopped needing him.
He grabbed my hips and thrust himself back inside of me.
Fuck yes. He was angry with me. I loved when he was angry with me.
His fingernails dug into my skin. There was nothing better than the feeling of him inside of me.
He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.
His dick was so deep inside of me that it hurt.
He was fucking me harder than he ever had before. He gyrated his hips.
"Professor Hunter," I moaned.
"Come for me, Penny." He pulled my hair again.
I was close. Every time he thrust, it felt like he was slapping my raw cheek again.
The combination of pain and pleasure was too much to bear.
"Professor Hunter," I groaned. As soon as I said his name I felt his hot liquid shoot through me.
There was no feeling better than him coming inside of me.
He knelt down behind me and placed a kiss where he had slapped me.
"The thought of you screaming his name haunts me. Never again. You're mine." He kissed my cheek again.
I turned to face him. He was still on his knees. It looked like he was in actual pain. He leaned forward and kissed the bruise on my stomach.
I knelt down in front of him. "I didn't scream his name. Actually, I screamed yours." I shrugged my shoulders.
For the first time this morning there was a glint of humor in his eyes. "I'm not as easy to forget as you implied?"
"No. I've tried."
"I wanted you to."
I looked into his eyes. He looked so vulnerable. I could tell we were about to have the conversation that I had so badly wanted these past few weeks. And now that it was here, I was scared to have it. "What? What do you mean?"
"I wanted you to forget about me. That's why I haven't been talking to you."
"Why? I told you that I loved you."
"I know. But I'm no good for you. You deserve someone without so much...without so many issues."
"What issues?"
"You were right. You don't know me as well as you should."
"I do."
"You don't."
His words haunted me. I thought I had found out all his secrets. What else is he hiding from me?
"So if you wanted me to forget about you, why did you come to the party last night?"
"When you sent me that text about having a nice life it made me realize that I couldn't. Not unless you were in it."
"That's a selfish reason." I repeated the words back to him that he had used when I told him my excuse for lying to him.
"It is. But I've seen you disappearing these past few weeks. Not eating. Drinking too much. Not focusing in class. I may be bad for you, but I'm better than the alternative."
"So I get to be with you by default?"
"I need you, Penny. I'm addicted to you. I want what's best for you. And I'm going to try hard to be that for you."
"You know that I'm addicted to you too. Or else our argument wouldn't have just turned into sex. But you left me. I've never felt so broken before. Tyler was there to help try and pick up the pieces. And if I'm being honest, I didn't just sleep with him because I was drunk."
"I know." Professor Hunter gritted his teeth.
"I have feelings for him too."
Professor Hunter sighed. "Here is where I should tell you to go to him. Where I should be unselfish. Please don't make me do that."
"I know you said you needed time, but you waited so long. You made it seem like you wanted nothing to do with me. You wouldn't even look at me in class. I thought...I thought..." I put my face in my hands. "I made a mess of everything."
"No, I did." Professor Hunter grabbed my face in his hands. "I never should have walked out on you that night. I understand why you lied. And I did exactly what you feared. But I need you to know that the age difference means nothing to me."
"When you were in high school, I was in elementary school."
Professor Hunter laughed. "It doesn't matter."
"You're my professor."
"It doesn't matter." He leaned forward and kissed me.
I could feel the cut on his lip. But that didn't stop him.
He grabbed the back of my head and leaned into me until my back was against the cool tile.
"I'm sorry." He kissed the top of my bandage, then the side of my neck.
He left a trail of kisses between my breasts and down my stomach.
"Mmm."
He kissed the inside of my thigh. "I missed you."
"I missed you too."
He kissed the inside of my other thigh. "I want you again," he whispered against my skin. He lightly brushed his fingers against my clit. I was still aroused. I had been without him for so long. And now that I was in his presence again, I couldn't get enough of him.
I grabbed the bottom of his chin and tilted his head toward me. "I want you too."
He leaned between my thighs again and kissed me gently. I wrapped my legs around him as he slowly entered me. He was being gentle and loving this time. I let my hands wander down his muscular back.
The contrast between him fucking me and him making love to me was unimaginable. Hard and raw versus gentle and intimate. He continued to kiss me as his thick cock stretched me wide. He reached down and touched my clit again, making me moan with pleasure.
He tilted his hips, thrusting his cock deeper.
"Professor Hunter," I gasped.
He ran his hand up the side of my torso. His touch made my whole body tingle with pleasure. He intertwined his fingers with mine and moved them to either side of my face. His hips moved faster. "Promise that you'll remember that you're mine."
"I promise," I moaned as my orgasm washed over me. He squeezed my hands as he found his release.
He rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. He placed one last kiss on my lips and pulled out of me. He stood up, grabbed his sweatpants off the floor, and pulled them on. I had never seen the look he was giving me now.
I was about to ask him what was wrong, when he said, "I have a present for you."
I sat up. "So you did remember my birthday?" I wasn't fuming anymore. I wanted to talk. I wanted to hear him out.
"I told you I remembered." He gave me a small smile and walked through the kitchen.
He disappeared into a room I hadn't been in yet.
I grabbed my clothes and went into his bedroom.
I flipped the switch on in his closet. All the clothes he had bought for me were still hanging there.
I opened up a drawer and pulled out a lacy thong and matching bra.
I put them on and then finished getting dressed in my pants and tank top.
There were sneakers at the bottom of the closet.
I grabbed a pair of socks and laced up the sneakers.
Everything fit me so perfectly. I crossed my arms. It was chilly in his apartment.
I grabbed a light jacket and pulled it on.
When I walked back into the living room, Professor Hunter was sitting on the couch. I sat down next to him. He was holding a sealed envelope in his hand. My name was written in his familiar scrawl.
"What is it?" I couldn't help the excitement coursing through me. I had waited my whole birthday for a present from him to arrive.
"I wanted you to get over me." He wasn't looking at me. He was looking down at the envelope.
"You already told me that."
"Before you open this I need to tell you something."
"Okay." My heart was racing.
"I did something I regret. But I can't take it back."
I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent.
"I thought I needed to get over you. I thought it was best for you."
"And for you?"
"No." Professor Hunter shook his head. "I always knew it wasn't best for me.
" He looked over at me. "You said that it didn't look like I was in pain.
But I was. I felt numb. My days dragged on.
Without you there's nothing for me here.
It sounds like I'm trying to make excuses but I'm not.
I can own up to my mistakes. I just needed you to know that I was in pain too.
I need you to understand the place I was in. "
"I don't want to know what you did."
"Penny..."
"Please don't tell me."
"I want you to be honest with me. How can I expect you to be if I'm not honest with you?"
"Is it going to hurt me?"
Professor Hunter ran his hand through his hair. "Yes."
I bit my lip. "You kept my clothes in your closet. Why?"
"I felt like if I got rid of them then what we had really would be dead."
"So this thing that you did didn't make it feel like what we had was over?"
"No. I thought it would, but it didn't."
"I wish you would have talked to me. I wish you would have told me that you thought you weren't good for me. I would have convinced you otherwise."
"You've convinced me otherwise the whole time we were together."
"You still should have talked to me."
"I can't take that back either."
I nodded my head. "I kissed some guy that lives in your apartment."
Professor Hunter lowered his eyebrows. "Who?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes."
"His name is Brendan."
"Okay. Just one kiss?"
"Yes. And he gave me some advice. About how if things are so hard between us maybe we're not meant to work things out."
"It's not bad advice."
"Clearly I didn't take it."
"I know." We were both silent for a moment.
"Is what you did worse than that?"
"Yes."
"Is it worse than the fact that I slept with Tyler?"
Professor Hunter closed his eyes. "I left you. You thought I had broken up with you. You weren't in the wrong."
"Is it worse?"
"By default, yes."
"So you had sex with someone else?"
Professor Hunter leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. "I did."
I stood up from the couch. "A stranger?" My heart was racing.
"No."
His words made my body feel cold. He didn't have to say it. I knew what he had done. He had sex with Isabella. He had sex with his wife. That's what married men did. They had sex with their wives. What should I have expected? He ran back to his wife when things went sour between us.
"Did you enjoy it?"
"It was just sex. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't like it is with you."
"So you did enjoy it?"
"Penny..."
"When we were arguing earlier you said all we were doing was fucking."
"I didn't mean it. I was upset."
I took a deep breath. "I shouldn't be upset with you. I slept with someone else too. But I am. I don't know what you want me to say." It was hard to picture his hands on someone else.
"You're allowed to be upset with me."
"It was her, wasn't it?"
He looked up at me.
"Isabella? Your wife?"
"Yes," he sighed.
"Okay."
"Penny, I didn't go to New York with the intention of sleeping with her."
"Okay."
"It just happened."
"Okay."
"Please stop saying okay. It's not okay. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Penny."
"You don't have to explain it to me. She's your wife."
"I needed you to know."
I took a deep breath. "I need some air."
"Okay. Let's take a walk."
"I want to be alone."
"Penny, you have a concussion..."
"I'm okay. Please. I just need some air."
"Take this." He lifted up the envelope.
I shook my head.
He folded the envelope and stood up. He slipped it into my pocket. Then he grabbed my phone out of his pocket and slipped it next to the envelope. "Please be careful."
"I promised you I would be." I went over to the elevator and pressed the button.
"Please stay."
"I can't."
"I'm begging you, please."
"I can't look at you right now." The elevator dinged as the doors slid open. I stepped on.
"Penny."
"Professor Hunter."
The doors closed.