Addiction - Chapter 17
Monday
"Is he a good friend of yours?"
"Who? Mason Caldwell?"
"Mhm." We had just been seated at the Tavern on the Green. It was a beautiful fall day and we had opted to eat outside. Small lanterns hung in the tree above us. It was beautiful and romantic and perfect. The whole day had been perfect.
"We used to be really good friends." Professor Hunter shrugged. "We fell out of touch after school. Our parents are still close. And the ad agency he works for has helped me out before."
"He seems nice. I've never met any of your friends."
"You find out who your true friends are when things aren't easy anymore. Turns out I didn't have many."
"He didn't even know about your divorce. From my experience, you don't open up very easily. Maybe you're being too hard on your friends."
Professor Hunter smiled at me. "You're probably right."
I looked out toward Central Park. It really was pretty. "Do you eventually want to move back here?"
He rubbed my palm with his thumb. "Not if you don't like it."
I looked back at him. "I like it when I'm with you."
He eyed me curiously. "We can go wherever you want, you know. It doesn't matter to me. Wherever you'll be happy."
"After I graduate?"
"Yes."
"You talk so easily about our future," I said.
"That's because I already know that you're in my future."
"But there's still..."
"I will never run away from this feeling. I'm not letting you go."
I stared at him. "How many children do you want?"
He frowned. "What?"
"You want to talk about our future. So let's talk about it."
"I'm not sure I'd be a very good father."
"Why would you say that?"
"I'm..." he stopped and looked up at the waitress who had just approached our table.
"Welcome to the Tavern on the Green. I'm Lexi and I'll be your waitress this evening. Can I get you both something to drink?"
Professor Hunter looked down at the wine list and then back up at Lexi. "We're actually ready to order. We'll both have the cioppino. And could we just have two glasses of apple juice?"
She looked a little surprised. "Sure. I'll be right back."
I smiled at him. "Apple juice? You can have a drink if you want."
"I don't want one." He sighed and let go of my hand.
"We don't have to talk about kids. I'm sorry, that was such like a weird thing for me to bring up. We only just started dating. I just..."
"No. It's fine. I've just never thought much about it."
"That's okay."
"Do you want kids?"
"One day. I'd want at least two. I always wished I had a sibling growing up."
"Hmm." He sighed. "Two sounds good then."
I smiled at him. He was acting weird. It still felt like he was holding back something from me. "So is that why you think you'll be a bad father? Just because you don't want kids anytime soon?"
"No, that's not it." He grabbed my hand again. "I just haven't spent much time around children."
"I don't want them anytime soon."
"Good. I want you all to myself for as long as possible."
"So what exactly is cioppino?"
He laughed. "Trust me, you'll like it."
***
As we walked out of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater I was still laughing. "That's so cool that Amy Poehler used to do improv here."
He smiled at me. "So you liked your choice?"
"Yes. Today was perfect." I looked up at the sky. The stars were dull in the night sky. The city was too bright. "It's weird not being able to see the stars."
"Pros and cons."
We walked slowly back toward the hotel. It was nice walking through the street holding hands like a normal couple. We'd never be able to do this on Main Street. Maybe he was right. Disclosing our relationship would be for the best. I heard music playing in the distance.
A smile spread across Professor Hunter's face. "Come with me." We jogged into Central Park until we came to a guitarist. He was strumming his guitar and singing. I laughed as Professor Hunter twirled me and then pulled me in close.
His hand was on the small of my back. It reminded me of when he had walked me home in the rain. The smell of him and the look in his eyes took my breath away.
"Do you know this song?" My voice sounded airy. I wanted to know what it was so I could find it on YouTube and remember this moment forever.
"I believe it's called hands down." He twirled me again and placed both of his hands on my waist.
"Every day I spend with you I fall harder and harder." I looked up into his eyes.
He leaned down and kissed me. When the song ended he didn't pull away. We kept swaying to the loud sounds of the city. "I should get you home."
"Does that mean going home with you? Or are you sending me back to my dorm?"
He laughed. "I'd like to bring you home with me."
"I don't want tonight to end." I put my hands in his hair and brought his lips back down to mine.
There was a quiet groan in his throat as he pulled away. "I love you, Penny."
"I love you, James."
***
I rolled over and looked at him. He looked so relaxed.
This was real. I wasn't dreaming. I would do anything for this man.
I liked being in his apartment. I liked that the sheets smelled like him.
And I liked waking up next to him. I suddenly had an urge to make him breakfast in bed.
I looked at his alarm clock. It was only 7 o'clock.
There was time. I quietly climbed out of bed and went into the kitchen, closing the door behind me.
Someone cleared their throat.
I turned my head and saw someone sitting at the dining room table. I almost screamed, but then I saw who it was. She was tall and thin, and had perfectly straight brunette hair. She was just as gorgeous as the pictures I had seen of her. Isabella.
"How did you get in here?" I didn't mean to whisper, but my voice came out so small. I didn't know anything about her. Was she violent? Would she suddenly be because she had found me here instead of her husband? I was sleeping with her husband. Fuck, I'm sleeping with her husband.
"I'm his wife."
That didn't really answer my question. Had he given her a key? Did she just tell the front desk and they let her up? I was wearing one of Professor Hunter's t-shirts. I pulled the fabric down. This was the feeling I wanted to avoid. This was why we should have waited. "I..."
"Don't embarrass yourself. I know all about you, Penny. I like to keep track of who my husband is currently screwing."
I felt goose bumps rise on my skin. Had Professor Hunter talked to her about me? I looked over at the door. Please get up.
She pulled a manila envelope out of her purse and set it on the table. "Don't flatter yourself. James definitely didn't mention you the last time I saw him. He was occupied by other, more pressing matters."
I glared at her. The last time they had seen each other they'd had sex. What the hell is she doing here?
"Oh, did he not tell you? You were together at the time, weren't you?
It was only a week ago." She put her elbows on the table.
"I know exactly how he works. I know exactly what he wants.
And clearly you can't give him what he needs.
If you could satisfy him, he wouldn't have come crawling back to me. "
I swallowed hard. "He did tell me."
"So let me guess," she said, ignoring my comment. "You've given him quite the chase. Or is the fact that you're a student enough?"
"What do you mean?"
"He only wants what he can't have. You must see that. As soon as you say you'll stay, he'll leave you."
I thought about everything we'd been through. Him giving up on me after my lie. Right after I told him that I loved him. All of our fights. Even him having sex with Isabella had pushed me away again. Was he purposefully sabotaging our relationship? Giving me just enough to cling onto?
"You do see it. I can see it in your eyes. You just realized that this..." she waved her hand around the apartment, "...is all a lie."
Professor Hunter wouldn't lie to me again. I wasn't going to let her convince me to not believe in him. What we had was real. She was just jealous. "I don't think you know him as well as you think."
She leaned forward and raised her eyebrow. "Is that what he told you?"
"He didn't need to."
"I've known him since we were kids. I know him better than you ever will. And if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to my husband in private." She stood up.
"I think you should go." I was surprised by my own courage. He wouldn't want her here. I felt protective of him. I didn't want her to hurt him anymore. She was cold and manipulative and horrible.
Isabella laughed. "Penny, I'm doing you a favor. Trust me, you don't want anything to do with him."
"If he's as bad as you say, then why haven't you signed the papers?"
She put her hand on top of the manila envelope. "I'm actually here to discuss that."
Thank God.
"You look relieved. You shouldn't be. I can tell that you're just as addicted to him as he is to you. That would be sweet in any other situation, but not in this one."
"What are you talking about?"
"He really hasn't told you?"
"Told me what?"
"I think you already know. You just don't want to believe it. Besides, James is bad at hiding his shortcomings."
"We love each other. That's all that matters."
"How old are you, Penny?"
I shouldn't be answering her questions. She had already made her mind up about me. I stayed quiet.
"Right. You're young. You don't know what love is. Have you ever even been in a serious relationship before? Can you even tell when someone is lying to you?"
"He's not lying to me."
"Withholding information is just as bad as lying. It's something that you should know. You did that to him, did you not?"
How the hell does she know all this? I looked over at the bedroom door. He had to have talked to her about me. Did he do it that night? Right before they slept together? I needed to know. "If James didn't talk to you about me..."