Addiction - Chapter 30
Friday
"As you all know, extra credit assignments are due next Wednesday," my intro to marketing professor said. "If you weren't motivated before, maybe you will be after getting these grades. Not your best work, everyone. I expect better next time." Professor McCarty sat down at his desk.
Apparently I wasn't the only one that had been slacking recently.
"Does anyone have any questions about the assignment?"
Professor McCarty had probably mentioned the extra credit when I had skipped class on Wednesday.
I silently pleaded for someone else in the class to ask about it.
I couldn't have been the only one that was absent on Wednesday.
But no one raised their hand. I'd just talk to him after class. I didn't want everyone to look at me.
"Okay, then. I hope you all have a great weekend. I'll see you on Monday."
I waited for everyone to leave before going up to the front of the room. "Professor McCarty?"
He looked up at me. When he did, it was as if his eyes wandered up my whole body, observing me slowly.
My skin felt cold.
"Ah, Penny Taylor. What can I do for you?"
"Hi, Professor McCarty." I didn't usually talk to professors. I always sat in the back of the room and never volunteered to answer questions. "I was absent on Wednesday, so I didn't get to hear about the extra credit assignment."
"Of course." He opened up a folder and went through the papers. "I've heard a lot about you recently."
"Umm...yeah. I guess so."
He pulled a paper out of his folder. "Come here so I can show you what you need to do." He tapped the desk next to him.
"Okay." Why was he being weird? I needed to get to my next class. I could read the assignment later. I walked around the desk next to him and leaned down slightly so I could read the paper.
"So here's the assignment," he said and put his hand on the small of my back.
I felt frozen in place. Why is he touching me?
"All you need to do is write about a company that you think does an excellent job marketing their products."
"Okay." My voice sounded small. I wanted to move, but my body was frozen. He's just being nice. He's just trying to show me what I need to do. I took a deep breath.
"Simple really," he said. His hand was still on my back.
Why couldn't I seem to move? Get off of me.
"But it's not that much extra credit. If you're looking for something a little more, I think we can probably think of something." His hand slid down slightly, but it was still on my back.
"Professor McCarty." My voice still sounded small. "This is enough extra credit. Thank you. I need to get to my next class."
"Hold on, Penny. I think we can arrange something that will work for both of us. How about you meet me in my office during lunch today and we can discuss it?" His hand slid down onto my ass. "You want an A, don't you?"
"Stop." I was whispering. I could feel the sting of tears coming to my eyes. Why couldn't I move? Why wasn't he listening to me? "Stop," I said again.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Penny. I'll be gentle. I think we both know that you're more than willing to do this."
I finally willed my body to react and I did the first thing I could think of. I slapped him hard across the face and stepped away from him.
He grabbed my wrist hard so I couldn't flee. "I'm just trying to help you," he said.
"Help me? I don't need your help." I tried to take a step away from him, but his grip was strong. "What are you doing? You're my professor." I realized the irony from what I had just said.
Professor McCarty smiled. "And doesn't that make this all a little more exciting?"
"Let go of me." I pulled my arm as hard as I could away from him. What a pig.
He dropped my wrist. "I'll make it worth your time. I've worked at this university for years. I have more of a pull with other professors than James did."
"I'm going to report you to the dean." I wiped under my eyes where my tears had started to escape.
Professor McCarty laughed. "And you think Joe will believe you? You've already slept with at least one professor. No one will believe you, Penny. Joe definitely won't trust your word over mine. I'll tell him you came on to me. I know you already have two strikes. You'll be expelled."
"Fine, get me expelled." I ran over to the door and ran out of the classroom. I continued to run as fast as I could out of the building. It didn't matter that people were staring at me. I didn't care anymore.
I ran all the way back to my dorm, up the stairs, and into my room.
I let my back slide down the closed door and wrapped my arms around my legs.
After a few minutes the knees of my jeans were completely soaked with tears.
I wasn't sure why I had come here. Everything was better when I was with James.
But I was embarrassed. I told him I could handle this. I wanted to be strong.
Besides, one phone call had made me doubt him. I wasn't sure I deserved his love. And maybe those girls in the bathroom were right. Maybe he'd be better off without my love.
I didn't doubt him, though. The feeling had been fleeting.
I trusted him with everything, with every part of me.
Maybe he would be better off without my love, but that didn't mean he didn't want me.
And I needed him right now. I needed his arms around me.
I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay.
I pulled out my phone and texted him: "Can you come get me? I'm at my dorm."
His response came in less than a minute. "Why aren't you in Stat? Are you okay?"
I wiped away my tears. "I'm okay. Please can you come?"
My phone buzzed immediately. "I'll be right there."
I wasn't sure what I was going to tell him about today. He already had enough to deal with. I didn't want him to have to worry about me on top of everything else. Maybe it was good that I had come to my dorm and cried for a while to get it off my chest.
My phone buzzed. "I'm here. Do you want me to come up?"
I wiped my eyes and looked down at my phone. How did he know that was what I wanted? I liked my room. It was warm and cozy. His apartment was big and cold and empty. I quickly texted him back. "I'll come let you in."
I blew my nose and then left my room. I just wanted him to hold me. I didn't want to talk about today. When I opened the door, he was standing there, concern etched on his face before he had even seen me.
He took the stairs two at a time and wrapped his arms around me. "Penny, what's wrong?"
His arms around me and his soothing voice made me burst into tears.
"It's okay," he said and kissed the top of my head. "It's okay, I'm here." He lifted me into his arms and carried me through the hallway of my dorm and up the stairs.
I felt safe in his arms. He smelled like his cologne and sweat. It was my favorite combination of things.
He opened up the door to my room, kicked it closed with his foot, and then set me down on my bed. He put his hands on the bed on either side of me.
I was momentarily distracted by the sight of him.
He hadn't changed out of his workout clothes.
He was wearing athletic shorts and no shirt.
It looked like he had thrown on a zip up hoodie at the last second before coming to get me, but it wasn't zipped.
His torso glistened with sweat. God was he sexy.
"Penny." He grabbed my chin in his hand. "Talk to me."
"I just wanted to see you. Can you hold me?"
He smiled. "I'm all sweaty."
"I like when you're sweaty."
He smiled again. "Okay, move over." He kicked off his sneakers and climbed into my bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me.
I sighed and pressed the side of my face against his chest.
"If you're upset about your conversation with Joe, I convinced him to change the incomplete to a withdrawal. It looks better on your transcript."
"But Mr. Vespelli said you couldn't withdraw from a class that was canceled."
"Yeah, well Joe was being an asshole."
"Thank you." I listened to his heart beating.
"If that isn't what's bothering you, what is it?"
"It's nothing important."
James was quiet. He ran his fingers through my hair. "Why did you come here?"
"I don't know. It's cozy."
"Okay." He tilted my head up to his and pushed a strand of hair out of my face. He seemed hurt that I hadn't come back to his apartment. Our apartment.
"I'm sorry. Your apartment is so big and it's always cold. And it was farther away and I was crying."
"Why were you crying?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Penny, no more secrets. Just tell me."
I put my hand under my head to prop myself up. "It's harder than I thought it would be. I don't know if I can do it, James."
"Tell me what happened today."
"It wasn't just one thing. It was everything. It was awful."
"Tell me." He put his hand on my cheek. "Please tell me."
"On my way to class I got a text from Professor Nolan telling me not to come to class. And that the investigation went south or something. He said Mr. Vespelli would be calling me with details."
"Well, it's good he told you not to come. I'm sure everyone had a lot of questions. You didn't need to be there for that."
"Yeah. And I ran into Tyler. He took me to breakfast."
James made a face.
"Stop. As friends. He was being nice. He knew I was upset."
"Okay. I'm glad that he was there for you. You could have come home though. I want to be the one that's there for you."
"You are that person. That's why I asked you to come."
He pushed another strand of hair out of my face.
"And at breakfast I talked to Mr. Vespelli. He told me that there were now three girls who accused you of..."
"I know. I talked to him too. Penny, if that's why you're upset, we've talked about this. You know me. You know how I feel about you."