Eruption - Chapter 21
Saturday
It was a good thing that Ellen didn't work on the weekends.
It would give me time to clean up the mess I had made.
I had somehow ended up in bed with all the pictures spread out, a bottle of wine, and a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream.
And lots of tears. I had tried to find out Rachel's last name, but I didn't have much information to go on.
I wanted to walk up to her house and tell her to stay away from James.
But that was ridiculous anyway. He had gone to see her, not the other way around.
I stepped off the elevator.
"Penny!" The man at the front desk called as soon as he saw me.
I knew my eyes were still slightly red from crying all night. I walked over to Cliff, trying to avoid direct eye contact. "Good morning, Cliff."
"Good morning. You've got more mail this morning." He handed me a few envelopes, which included another manila envelope. This one didn't have an address. It just said Penny Taylor on the front.
I glanced up at him. "Did someone drop this off?"
"I'm not sure. It was just in your box when I got here this morning. I can call the guy who was on duty earlier if you'd like?"
"No, that's okay. Thanks," I mumbled. I turned away from him and walked out of the building and into the bright sunshine. Ian was already waiting there with the car. I climbed in and stared down at the envelope. It was a bad idea to open it. Isabella was just trying to mess with my head.
I bit my lip and tapped on the glass that separated Ian and me.
He lowered the partition. "Where to, Penny?"
"Where did you take James on Tuesday after work?" I asked.
"He had some errands to run."
"I know. But where specifically?"
Ian disconnected our gaze in the rearview mirror and turned around to look at me.
"If you're trying to figure out what James got you for your wedding present, I have no idea.
" He gave me a small smile. It wasn't guilty looking necessarily.
But I knew he knew. He wasn't my employee.
There was no reason why he should divulge to me where James was.
He had probably signed some confidentiality agreement.
I laughed. "You got me. Sorry, never mind. Can you just take me to Kleinfeld's?"
"Of course. Are we picking up anyone on the way?"
"No. My friends are meeting me there." I wasn't sure why I lied.
I didn't want Ian to pity me more than he already seemed to.
No one was coming with me to my dress fitting.
I had asked Bee to come last night, but she already had plans this morning.
Jen had gone back to California after the engagement party.
My mom was coming up Thursday for the wedding, and I didn't want to bother her with a day trip.
And Melissa still wasn't talking to me. I could feel Ian's gaze on me in the rearview mirror.
I felt like I was going to cry again. "I need to make a quick phone call," I said and closed the partition so he couldn't see me anymore.
Maybe I should try Melissa one more time.
I called but it went straight to voicemail.
I hung up without leaving a message. There was nothing to say.
"I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend two and a half years ago, but can you please come help me make sure my wedding dress looks good?
" didn't seem quite good enough. She had to get past it in her own way.
I looked down at the manila envelope. Isabella had moved on from James while they were still together.
And now they had been separated for over three years.
I had been with him most of that time. Why did she suddenly care again?
She just wanted what she couldn't have. And now she wanted me to open this envelope.
I didn't want to give her what she wanted.
But it was like it was staring at me. I needed to know what was inside.
I unclipped the top before I could change my mind and pulled out another photo, just one this time. There was a post-it note in the middle of it:
He's been pretty busy this week. He can't control himself, remember? It's a sickness. I tried to warn you.
My heart starting beating really fast. I slowly removed the post-it note and looked down at the photo.
Isabella had James' suit jacket collar gripped tightly in her hands and she was kissing him.
James' hands were wrapped around her back.
Like he wanted it. I shut my eyes tight.
No. No. It was photoshopped. That's what it was.
James wouldn't kiss her. He wouldn't do that to me.
He loves me. I opened my eyes and stared down at the picture.
It was in James' office. It must have been taken on Monday when she had shown up.
So James told her he'd get a restraining order against her after making out with her?
This is why he actually stood me up for lunch?
So he could shove his tongue down his ex wife's throat? I felt like I was going to throw up.
"He can't control himself, remember?"
I needed to talk to him. I needed to hear his voice. I put my face in my hands. I was letting Isabella win. She was successfully manipulating me. But what else was I supposed to think when I saw that picture? What other explanation was there?
If I couldn't talk to James, I needed to talk to Melissa. She was always the best at calming me down from stuff. Maybe Tyler could convince her to talk to me. I picked my phone back up and called him. He answered right away. "Hey, Penny. I missed you last night."
I didn't know what I was supposed to say to that. I missed him too, but I wasn't really allowed to miss him right now. "Yeah, I went out with Bee and her friends. I hope you had a good night with Melissa. Actually, that's why I'm calling. Is she there? She hasn't answered any of my calls, and I..."
"She's been working a lot. She had to go in early this morning too, so she's not here."
"Oh. Okay." I was having a hard time controlling my voice.
"Penny, are you okay?"
"I'm fine. But I have to go."
"Penny, where are you?"
I took a deep breath. "I'm on my way to Kleinfeld's."
"Was Melissa supposed to go with you?"
"Yeah. It's not a big deal though. I've already picked the dress. It's just a fitting. I can do it myself."
"I can come."
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to."
I bit the inside of my lip. "It'll just make Melissa mad. Thanks for offering, but I have to go, Tyler."
"Penny..."
"I'm sorry." I hung up the phone. Now I just seemed to be pushing away the people I was closest to.
But if everything was slipping away, I might as well slide down the slope even faster.
I might as well end up at the bottom alone if I was losing the only person in the world I loved.
I ran my fingers across the picture. I loved him.
Why would he do this to me? Was it something I did?
Of course it was. I had been stressed out for weeks. I hadn't had sex with him in days. I was a mess. And it was more than that. It was my biggest fear coming true. I wasn't good enough for him. I had always known that. Maybe he was finally realizing it too.
The car came to a stop and the partition started to lower. I quickly wiped away the tears from under my eyes and slipped the picture into my purse so Ian wouldn't see it.
"We're here...are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
Ian handed me a tissue.
"Thank you." I grabbed it and blotted my eyes.
"Call me when you're done, okay?"
"I'm just going to walk home. Thank you, though."
"James wouldn't want you to do that."
Well James was certainly doing a bunch of stuff earlier this week that I didn't want him to do.
"I'm not sure he really cares about what I do.
" I opened up the door and climbed out before Ian could respond.
I walked into the building and gave the receptionist my name.
In a minute I was being escorted to a room in the back of the store.
I wasn't sure why I was here. I wasn't sad now, I was just angry. Did he even want to marry me? Was he going to sneak around behind my back all the time?
"Are you waiting for anyone?" The woman said and gestured for me to sit in a chair.
I put a smile on my face. "Nope, just me." No one came to dress fittings alone.
"Okay, dear. Let me go get your dress, I'll be right back."
I nodded and took a deep breath. James loves me.
He had probably gone to go see Rachel for closure or something.
He'd be able to tell me on Sunday night.
And Isabella had probably attacked him with that kiss.
She was a psychopath. He could explain it all tomorrow night.
Everything was fine. I'm fine. I was here trying on a wedding dress because I was going to marry the man of my dreams in one week.
Next Saturday James and I would be married and it would be the best day of my life.
Isabella couldn't sabotage us. I took another deep breath.
It felt like my heart was beating in my throat. I trusted James. Everything was going to be fine. I leaned my head against the wall behind me. Last night I had been worried about what he might do during his bachelor party. I had no idea what he had already done.
"Okay, let's see how it fits."
I shook my thoughts away and stood up. I plastered my fake smile back on my face. "Okay." I walked into the dressing room with her, took off my clothes, and stepped into the dress. She pulled it up past my waist and zipped it in place.
It fit even better than the sample had. It was perfect. James would love it.
I immediately burst into tears. "I'm sorry." I tried to clear my throat. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Everyone always gets emotional when they try their dress on." The woman smiled and handed me a tissue box. "You look absolutely beautiful."