Devotion - Chapter 38
Saturday
It was late when we finally left the hospital. There was something so wonderfully normal about being in the back seat of our car with Ian behind the wheel. It made the past few weeks seem like a terrible nightmare. Except for one thing.
I leaned my head against James' shoulder. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being so excited about this."
"You really thought I wouldn't be?" He ran his fingers through my hair.
"I was nervous that you might not be. And I really didn't mean for it to happen, I..."
"Penny." He tilted my face toward his. "We're lucky to both be alive. This is a blessing."
"I love you. I love you so much, James."
He responded with a kiss. Soft and slow.
The kind of kiss that builds in the pit of your stomach and spreads in every direction until your whole body tingles with desire.
I grabbed the back of his neck to deepen the kiss.
I had been so worried the past few weeks.
I hadn't felt this fire since our wedding day.
"You have no idea how badly I want you right now," he whispered against my lips. "All I did was dream of you. All I ever do is dream of you."
"Let's pretend it's our wedding night. Let's pretend nothing bad happened." I felt like we had been robbed of one of the best moments of our lives.
"Baby, I'm already one step ahead of you." He opened up the door. I hadn't even realized that the car had stopped. James leaned over and unbuckled my seatbelt. "Come with me." He stepped out of the car and put his hand out for me.
I grabbed his hand and let him help me out of the car. We were standing outside the hotel we visited the first time he had brought me to the city. It was also where Mason and Bee lived. But I had a feeling we weren't here to see them.
"What are we doing here?"
"Come with me."
We walked hand in hand up the front steps and into the ornate entrance.
The concierge immediately stepped out from behind his desk. "Right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Hunter."
I glanced up at James, but he wasn't giving anything away. He just smiled down at me as we followed the concierge. I heard the music before we reached the door.
"Our song?"
"We don't need to pretend it's our wedding night. Tonight is our wedding night." He pushed open the doors.
A single guitarist was in the ballroom, playing Hands Down the way that we had first heard it together in Central Park. The lights dimmed as I stepped into the room. It was like I was transported back in time to when we visited New York back when I was James' student.
James lightly touched my wrist, sending shivers up my arm. "Penny, may I have this dance?"
I turned around and smiled up at him. "Of course." I clasped my hands behind his neck. "How did you plan all this?"
But he silenced me with a kiss as he pulled me closer toward him. His hands slid down my back stopping right above my ass.
The song ended and the lights cut off, but he didn't stop kissing me. I couldn't see him, I could only feel his hands on me, his lips on me, him pressed against me.
He groaned as I leaned into him and his hands slipped to my ass.
I needed him. He was right, we didn't have to pretend. We had never had our wedding night together. This was it. "Do we have a room here?" I said breathlessly.
"We do. Or we can go home. Or we can go to the airport and go on our honeymoon. Anywhere you want to go. I just want to be with you."
"Let's go upstairs."
"I was hoping you'd say that."
I could feel his smile against my lips. He grabbed my hand and we walked as quickly as we could toward the elevators.
The concierge looked up as we passed. "Mr. Hunter, do you need..."
"We're good," James said as we stepped onto the elevator.
As soon as the doors closed he pressed my back against the side of the elevator.
"We're so good." He lifted my hands above my head and kissed me hard.
He kissed me like he had that very first time in the pouring rain, pressed against his car.
I'd never get enough of this passion. Or this overwhelming feeling of finally being his.
When we first met, I had this feeling that this was something big and scary and perfect.
I knew it all along. But I never thought I'd be this lucky.
I never thought I'd really be his. And I certainly never thought that he'd be mine.
The doors dinged open and he pulled me into the hall, stopping in front of the same room we had gotten almost three years ago. I grabbed the keycard from him and slipped it into the door.
"Wait," he said before I could open the door. He lifted me up into his arms.
"James!" I laughed. "You're not supposed to be lifting anything."
"I'm carrying my new bride through the threshold."
I saw the strain on his face. And the effort he was putting in was admirable, but completely unnecessary. "Put me down. You're going to pull your stitches out again."
"It's tradition, Penny," he said through a clenched jaw as he kicked the door open with his foot. He was breathing heavily as he placed me down on the bed.
"James, sit down."
He didn't protest as he sat down next to me on the bed. "I'm sorry. I wanted tonight to be perfect." He coughed into his hand.
"It is perfect." I straddled him on the bed.
"Just take a minute to catch your breath.
" I put my hands on his shoulders and watched him as his breathing became more steady again.
"Why did you bring me here?" I glanced over to the window.
I remembered him fucking me against it. I remembered him saying he wanted the whole city to know I was his.
The memory sent goosebumps up my legs. I needed him to catch his breath, but all I wanted was for him to do that to me again.
"I was thinking about what you said about Mason and Bee. About how he should propose to her on top of the Empire State Building because it means something to them. And, well, this place means something to me."
"Yeah?" It meant something to me too. That day we had come here was the first time I got to really see him as more than my professor. It somehow made this love seem bigger than us. "What does it mean to you?"
He ran his hand down my back. "Remember the last time we were in this room? You chose a ten dollar comedy show and a walk in Central Park."
"I remember." I somehow knew what he was going to say next and my eyes were already teary.
"It was in that moment that I realized just how good you truly were for me.
How much you really cared about me for me.
For the first time in forever, I wasn't depressed in New York.
Because I had you by my side. And I knew that we could go anywhere in the world and be happy as long as we were together.
And I knew I could never let you go. I knew that I needed you in my life forever.
You're my light, Penny. You've always been the light to my darkness. "
"James, your soul is brighter than you realize."
"I'm sorry I said I was addicted to you.
I'm sorry. This is so much bigger than that.
" He put his hand on the center of my chest. "I'm sorry I ever doubted that.
This is love." His hand slid between my breasts and stopped on my stomach.
"This is love. Because it's not that I can't live without you.
It's that I don't want to. I don't want to live without either of you.
" He spread his fingers across my stomach.
"Because I love you. Baby, I love you so much. "
I grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him, knocking him backwards onto the bed.
This moment meant more than any other. This was the moment I had waited for my whole life.
When our love wasn't clouded by social expectations or issues from our pasts or secrets that we had unwillingly held on to in order to protect ourselves.
This moment was pure just like our love was, just like it always would be.
I slowly pushed up James' t-shirt and leaned down to kiss the stitches on his stomach and on his ribs. He pulled his shirt the rest of the way off and grabbed the hem of my tank top.
I lifted my arms in the air as his fingers slowly traced up the sides of my torso. He pulled it the rest of the way off and unclasped my bra. He watched it slowly fall down my arms. The way he looked at me made me feel like the sexiest girl he had ever seen. Like the only girl he ever saw.
He grabbed my hips and rolled over on top of me.
"James, you're supposed to let me be on top. The doctor said..."
"Fuck that. I'm making love to my beautiful wife."
"James..."
"Don't worry. I'm going to do it slowly." He put his lips around one of my nipples and lightly tugged.
God yes.
"Very slowly." His breath was hot against my skin as his fingers slipped below the waistline of my shorts. "You're so fucking wet, baby." He sunk a finger deep inside of me.
"James," I moaned. It felt like forever since I had gotten to be with him, since I had gotten to feel this way.
He sucked hard on my nipple as his finger thrust deep inside of me.
I didn't want to wait another second. I couldn't possibly. I pushed my shorts and thong down my hips.
"Eager as always."
"Make love to me, James. I thought I'd never get another one of these moments. I thought I lost you. I need you, James. You have no idea how much I need you."
"I waited my whole life for you. I'll never leave you, Penny." He gently kissed my stomach.
He'll never leave us. Somehow his gesture made this moment even more intimate.
He leaned down and kissed the inside of my thigh.
"James please."
"I love when you beg me." He moved between my legs. "But you never need to beg. I'll always give you what you want." He leaned forward, pressing his erection against me. "Always, Penny." He slowly slid his length inside of me.
I let my fingers dig into the muscles of his back.
He groaned as he thrust deep inside of me. "God, I've missed you."
"I've missed you too." I grabbed both sides of his face and brought his lips to mine.