Missing Pieces - Chapter 9
Hailey
Saturday
I stole a glance at him. He was switching lanes on the interstate, going into the passing lane as he started to accelerate.
"It's my question, right?" I asked.
"Yeah." Tyler seemed distracted. Maybe he was just concentrating on the road.
"Why did you break up with your girlfriend?"
He thought about it for a minute. "Because I wasn't in love with her," he finally said.
"How are you so sure? Love is rather complicated. Maybe you just didn't give it enough time."
"No, I'm sure."
"How?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Because I was in love with someone else." He hit his turn signal again and sped by someone who was probably already going over the speed limit.
"Is that who you're driving toward? Does the girl you actually love live in California?" Suddenly it felt like I had just been transported into a romantic comedy. I was part of an epic love chase.
He laughed. It sounded strangled. "No."
"Why aren't you going to her? This could be your chance at true love."
"It's complicated."
"But..."
"As far as I'm concerned, true love doesn't exist. Look, I really don't want to talk about this. And haven't you asked like five questions in a row?"
"Okay, then ask me one."
He shook his head. "What's your favorite color?" He clearly wanted to go back to simple questions.
"Actually, it's quite the coincidence. Mine's green too. So, where does the girl you do love live?"
"Pass."
"But maybe that's where you should be driving, Tyler."
"Trust me, it's not."
"Why?"
"Please stop pushing this."
"You have to tell her how you feel. You don't want to go through your whole life regretting this missed opportunity."
"I did tell her, okay?! Happy?" He pulled back into the passing lane again.
His tone sent goose bumps up my arms. I bit my lip. So, maybe it wasn't a romantic comedy. Maybe it was more like a Shakespearean tragedy. "I'm sorry."
"Great. Thanks for your pity."
"I didn't say I pitied you."
"Can you please just stop talking for five seconds?" He hit the button to turn the radio on with his fist. Rap music blared through the car.
Whatever he was going through, I knew he'd feel better if he got it off his chest. But I wasn't going to force it. He'd tell me when he was ready.
Besides, the rap music fit my current mood.
I had never been good at hiding my emotions.
I wore them on my sleeve. Apparently Tyler did too.
Maybe that's why we were butting heads so much.
Or maybe it was the fact that we were stuck in a car together and barely knew each other.
And clearly we were both going through some stuff.
Hell, maybe I'd feel better if I got my problems off my chest too. But not right now. Right now I just wanted to listen to angry rap music and curse the world.
***
"Seriously, I don't mind sleeping on the cot," I said for what felt like the hundredth time.
"I already left you to sleep in the car one night. Would you please just get in the bed?"
I put my hands on my hips. "Tyler, you're paying for the room. You wouldn't even let me split it with you. So I'm taking the cot." I sat down on it. The thin mattress felt like a brick.
The hotel only had king beds left, or else we could have just gotten two queens. As it was, there was one huge king sized bed in the room and a cot made out of stones. He scratched the back of his neck.
Why do I find that so sexy? "Or we could just share the bed," I said. "It's huge. We could just stay on opposite sides."
I thought he would continue to protest, but instead he shrugged his shoulders.
"Fine. We're both exhausted. Let's just call it a night." He grabbed his shirt by the nape of its collar and pulled it off over his head.
I tried not to stare, but it was hard to move my eyes away from him.
I knew that he was in shape from the muscles in his arms. But I hadn't been expecting the perfectly sculpted six pack that was currently staring back at me.
I made myself turn away as he started to unbutton his shorts.
I fidgeted with the hem of my baggy t-shirt.
Suddenly I wished that I owned sexy lingerie.
I had noticed how his eyes had lingered on my legs, but he had quickly looked away when I caught him staring.
I had been completely off base before. There was no way that Tyler Stevens the business reporter from New York City was gay.
He was just heartbroken. He was in pain.
And I felt like I could understand that.
I knew what it felt like to live in pain.
I knew what it felt like to want something so badly that I couldn't have.
At the moment, I kind of wanted him. I rolled my eyes at myself.
The bed squeaked and I turned around. He had pulled the covers up to his neck and the light next to his side had already been switched off.
I awkwardly climbed into my side, trying hard not to reveal my underwear.
Not that he was looking. I switched the light off on my side and the room was bathed in darkness.
My body hugged the edge of the bed like it was my anchor.
"Do you prefer Hailey or Hails?" Tyler said into the darkness.
"You can call me Hails," I whispered back.
"Okay. Goodnight, Hails."
"Goodnight, Tyler." For some reason I wanted to cry.
It had been over four years since a boy I was attracted to had called me by my nickname.
It made my whole body feel weirdly warm.
I pushed the blankets off of me. Maybe I was still pissed about my ex cheating on me.
If I didn't start letting go of some of this anger, I was worried I'd start to feel like I was drowning in it.
***
I woke up to the smell of freshly cut grass and mint.
I took a deep breath. It smelled heavenly.
For the second morning in a row, I had completely forgotten where I was.
But unlike last night, where I had fallen asleep shivering, this morning I had woken up because I was overheated.
I slowly opened my eyes to Tyler's face just inches from my own.
I immediately held my breath, worried I had been caught in a compromising situation. But we were almost exactly in the center of the bed. It's like we had both gravitated toward each other in the middle of the night. Neither one of us could be blamed more than the other.
His arm was slung protectively around me and I could feel his fingers pressed against my skin right above my underwear.
Which meant his hand had pushed up the baggy t-shirt I was sleeping in.
But it wasn't any worse than what I was doing to him.
My leg was resting across his thighs and my hand was pressed against his abs.
God, his abs. I exhaled slowly, trying hard not to disturb him.
I felt completely frozen. Part of me wanted to roll away from him before he realized that I was snuggled up against him, but the other part of me wanted to kiss his beautiful face.
I wanted to be able to forget about my worries and fears.
I wanted to be able to run away from my problems like he was running away from his.
But his arms weren't the ones I needed to run into. He was in love with someone else.
I ducked out from under his arm as slowly as possible and climbed out of bed.
For some reason, I couldn't take my eyes off him though.
During the day I was always captivated by his bright blue eyes.
Right now, it was something completely different.
There was something so peaceful about the way he slept.
And his strong shoulders and chest were all I could seem to focus on.
I should have relished how his skin had felt against mine instead of immediately climbing out of bed.
He was as angry at life as I was. Life had chewed us both up and spit us back out. And for some reason we had run into each other. Maybe I was over thinking things. Maybe he was exactly what I needed. Besides, I wasn't looking for something that lasted forever. Nothing lasted forever anyway.
He groaned in his sleep and placed his hand where I had been lying. It was like he could feel my absence. I knew he wanted me too. I knew that his heart was broken. Maybe I could help mend it. Maybe I could show him that there was more to life than whatever girl he had just left behind.
He groaned again.
No one should look sexy while they slept, but somehow Tyler did.
I needed to stop staring at him before he caught me.
I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear as I rummaged through my purse for my cell.
I had two missed calls from my dad and a voicemail.
I glanced once more at Tyler and made my way into the hall.
I closed the door as quietly as possible behind me and dialed my voicemail.
"Hails." My dad's breathing sounded slightly labored. "I know you're trying to help. But this isn't helping anyone. Especially not me. Come back. Honey, please come home." He coughed and then the message beeped, signaling that it was over.
I held the phone to my chest and blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. I'd call him back later. He'd be sleeping right now. He needed his rest. And despite what he thought, what I was doing was going to help. It had to.