Missing Pieces - Chapter 11
Hailey
Sunday
I knew my dad would be sitting in his office. I could picture him there. It was easy to see an image I had seen so many times in my life. But now he looked frail. He looked sick. I closed my eyes as the phone started to ring.
"Hello?" said a raspy voice.
"Hi, Dad." I leaned my back against the brick wall outside the restaurant.
"Hails, where are you? I've been worried sick. You can't just..."
"I'm in Kansas."
There was a pause. "What are you doing in Kansas?"
"I got a ride to California."
"With who?"
I bit my lip. I didn't want him to worry. "A friend."
There was another long pause. "You're still going to see her?"
I already felt guilty for leaving him. And now I felt like I was betraying his wishes too. "It's our only option."
"I want you to come home." His cough made me wince.
"I'll be home soon. I'm going to fix this."
"There's nothing for you to fix. I'm the adult. I'm the one..."
"I'm an adult now too, Dad. Please. I have to do this."
"She'll turn you away."
"Then at least I'll know I tried everything I could."
"I don't like the idea of you seeing her. Last time you two..."
"I'll be fine, Dad. I'm not a kid anymore."
He sighed. "I know, honey."
I swallowed hard and looked up at the stars.
Whenever I saw the stars I felt close to him.
For some reason I felt the distance tonight, though.
And for some reason I knew he wasn't outside looking up at the same stars as me anymore.
He was inside. He was sick. I felt like he was slipping away. "How are you feeling?"
"The same."
I put my face in my hand. It was hard talking to him like this, knowing that he had already given up. Knowing that he was angry at me. "I have to go. I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, Hails."
I pressed the end call button and kept my face in my hand. Again I wondered what the fuck I was doing. My dad didn't want me to go see Elena. So why was I disregarding his wishes when he had four months to live? I wiped away my angry tears and pushed off the wall.
Fuck this. Fuck everything. Just for one night I wanted not to think.
I wanted not to feel like shit for being so blind.
I took a deep breath and made my way back into the restaurant.
I walked over to the bar and ordered two shots of tequila.
Before the bartender even had a chance to walk away, I downed both of them.
"Two more, please."
He laughed. "Preparing for karaoke night?"
"It's karaoke night?"
"Yup, it starts in ten minutes."
"Then yes, I'm absolutely preparing for karaoke night." I picked up the two shot glasses he had just poured and walked back over to our table. I slid one of the shots over to Tyler.
"I thought you wanted us to keep driving after dinner?"
"That was before I found out that it was karaoke night." I lifted up my glass.
Tyler smiled. "How about you sing and I'll watch?" He slid the shot back over to me.
"Duets always get a better response. Please." I hated the desperation in my voice. And for some reason I felt like I was going to start crying again. "For one night I just want to forget about all my problems. I need this."
His tongue darted across his lower lip as he considered my idea.
I was already feeling the buzz of the tequila. And all I could think about was how good it would feel for his tongue to dart across my lips. I pressed my thighs together. Maybe this was a bad idea. I was so attracted to him. If I drank much more I'd probably throw myself at him.
"Let's both forget," I said before I could overthink it.
"I'll do one song. But that's it." He lifted up his glass, clinked it against mine, and downed his shot.
I smiled as I followed suit. I waved to the bartender and pointed to our shot glasses.
"This is going to be so much fun, I promise.
" I reached across the table and placed my hand on his.
The same spark I felt back in Indiana shot up my arm and I immediately removed my hand. God, I was in so much trouble.
***
"Ah, it's our turn!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him up out of his seat.
"You should just go."
"I already signed us both up. We're singing Near Me by the Cigarsmoakers."
He looked so reluctant, despite the fact that I had been forcing shots on him for half an hour.
"There's a boy and a girl part. I can't do it by myself." I gave him an exaggerated frown.
"Fine."
I grabbed his hand and we walked up to the stage together.
I was surprised when he kept his fingers intertwined with mine until we got up on the stage.
As soon as he dropped my hand to grab his mic, my hand felt cold.
I liked the feeling of his skin against mine.
I stared at him as he cleared his throat.
The music started blaring through the restaurant.
"Babe, I thought I was good before I met you," he sang and pointed at me.
I laughed.
"I drink a lot which is an issue, but I'm alright." He winked at me.
Why the hell had he not wanted to do this? He was such a good singer. So much better than me.
His eyes stayed locked on mine. It was like he was singing directly to me.
He pulled the mic off the stand and walked over to me. "Now you're looking sexy in a dingy bar." He lightly touched a strand of my hair.
I felt frozen in place. Was this really happening? It felt like he was serenading me.
"Lick the tattoo on your shoulder," he sang and lightly touched my shoulder.
Chills ran down my spine.
He pulled the mic away from his face and I realized that it was almost my turn to sing.
I wanted to sing to him too. I wanted him to know how attracted I was to him. I wanted him to want me back. "You look better than the day I met you," I sang and touched his chest with my index finger.
The fire in his eyes made my throat feel dry.
"Stay, and blast that Wink-183 song, that we played to death in Tucson, alright.
" Looking at him made me nervous. But I needed to go for it.
This seemed like the best possible moment.
" So, baby, get beside me in the backseat of your Audi.
" I grabbed the front of his t-shirt and pulled him closer to me, before turning around and pressing my ass against him.
"Fuck."
Oh my God, had he really just said that out loud? Or had I imagined it? Why had I drank so much? I tried to focus on the lyrics but all I wanted to do was dance with him. I wanted to feel his hands on my hips. I wanted him to literally get beside me, just like the song said. Or maybe all up on me.
"Baby get beside me," he sang and grabbed my hips, pulling me more firmly against him.
And I could feel him. He was hard. Really hard. God, he wanted me too. I grinded against him.
" Pull those sheets right off the bed," I sang as I dipped low against him.
His fingers definitely tightened on my waist.
"We're never getting older!" I stood up straight and reached behind me, running my fingers down the back of his neck.
"We're never getting older," he whispered in my ear.
I laughed and turned around, spreading my arms in the air. "We're never getting older!" I sang at the top of my lungs and spun around in a circle. "No, we're never getting older!"
The music stopped and we were both staring at each other on the stage.
People in the audience clapped and a few patrons whistled.
I laughed and grabbed Tyler's hand, pulling him off the stage. I dragged him to the side of the bar, away from the speakers, hooking my hands behind his neck.
"Let's get out of here." Yes, I had consumed a lot of alcohol. But that wasn't what was making me feel the way I was right now. I was intoxicated by him.
"I can't drive right now." He didn't try to pull away from me. He let me stay pressed against him.
"I know. Let's go to the hotel next door." I ran my thumb along the scruff on his jaw. "Maybe we could share a bed again?" I stared up at him. I had never been so forward in my life. Hopefully it was working.
He stared down at me and for a long time he didn't say anything. I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall.
"I don't think that's a good idea," he said, almost too low for me to hear over the music.
"Why? You could just pretend that I'm her." It spilled out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying.
"Who?"
"The girl you're in love with."
His eyes suddenly looked sad. "I don't want to pretend with you."
"Then don't pretend." I stood on my tiptoes and placed a kiss against his lips.
He didn't pull back.
I let my tongue dart against his lips. But he didn't part his for me. He didn't let me in. Instead he took a step away from me, and my hands fell from his neck.
"You're drunk, Hails."
"But I wanted you before I even had one shot."
He shook his head.
God, I was so embarrassed. I put a smile on my face.
I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself.
And that it was his loss. But his rejection stung.
I blinked away my tears. I didn't want to think about anything.
My dad, the bar, him . Seriously, fuck him.
I didn't need this. I already had enough shit to deal with without whatever the hell this was.
"Awesome. So, I'm going to go drink more and sing another song without you.
" I turned away and then quickly turned back to him.
"And you know what? Don't bother waiting for me, I'll find a ride with someone else.
Just leave my bag at our table. I really hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
And just for the record? You're being a coward for not going after her.
Grow a pair." I turned on my heel and walked away from him.