Missing Pieces - Chapter 49
Hailey
Friday
Even though it felt like I left a part of myself in California, it was good to almost be home. Just seeing normal trees again from the plane window instead of palm trees was relaxing.
I squeezed my eyes shut as the plane touched down.
Flying had been a relatively terrifying experience.
But takeoff and landing were definitely now my two least favorite things in the world.
For some reason I just feared that we had been lucky the whole flight and the plane would just explode as soon as it all came back in contact with the ground.
I exhaled when the plane slowed. Disaster averted.
Everything was going to be okay. For the first time in a long time, it really felt that way.
For a moment I let myself think about what Tyler was doing.
I had seen a few movies about people joining the army.
He was probably standing in a line right now getting yelled at by his commanding officer or something.
I just hoped he was okay. I hoped he knew that he could count on me too.
I pulled the picture of us out of my pocket.
Before I turned it over, I noticed something written on the back.
I smiled at the words. "We're never getting older," I whispered to myself as I ran my fingers across the inscription.
To me it meant that we could stop time. That in three years we'd still be the same. That we could really make this work.
The pilot came on and said it would be a minute before we pulled up to a terminal.
I smiled and slid the picture back into my pocket.
I needed to schedule an Uber to pick me up.
I hit the button to turn my phone back on.
I couldn't wait to see my dad and tell him the good news.
He'd be thrilled about me being home. But the money?
He'd be ecstatic. I couldn't wait to tell him about the Grand Canyon and the Pacific Ocean.
And one day he'd be able to see those things now. Thanks to Tyler.
As soon as my phone turned on, it started buzzing. I had dozens of missed calls, voicemails, and texts. At first I thought Tyler had changed his mind and decided he wanted to hear my voice. But then I saw that everything was from Anna, the assistant manager from my dad's bar.
I could almost hear my heart thumping as I hit play on one of the voicemails and pulled the phone to my ear.
"Hails, it's Anna. Where are you, hon? I really need to speak to you. No one knows where you are. Please call me back as soon as you get this. It's urgent." The voicemail clicked off.
I wanted this to be about her raise. But I knew it wasn't. Anna wouldn't call me about that. She would have just talked to my dad. Something must have happened to him. I clicked on another of the voicemails.
"Hon, you need to come home. I was trying not to startle you in my other messages, but your father has taken a turn for the worse. It's not looking...good. He's asking for you. Please call me back."
I pressed on her name in my phone but there wasn't any service in the plane. Damn it.
I pressed on another voicemail. "Hon, your father..." Anna tried to stifle a sob. "You need to come home as soon as you get this message. Where are you?" The voicemail clicked off.
My father what? My father what?! I wrapped my arms around myself. Please don't let me be too late. He was supposed to have four months. It had only been a week. I was only gone for a week! But it didn't matter what I told myself. The guilt was already swallowing me whole.
As soon as the plane pulled into the terminal I pushed my way past the other passengers. I clicked on Anna's name.
"Oh, Hailey, thank heavens!"
"Anna what happened? How is he?"
"We're at the hospital." There was a long pause. "He's not good, hon."
"But he's awake? He's alive?" I started running through the airport.
"He's been holding on, waiting for you."
Waiting for me for what? This wasn't the end. He had four months. "I'm going to be right there, okay? I'm coming now." I didn't have time to wait for my Uber. I waved down a taxi instead. "Tell him I'm coming. Tell him I got the money."
"Hails it's too..."
"Just tell him, okay?" I hung up the phone as I climbed in the cab. I couldn't hear the rest of what she was going to say. Because I already knew what it was. I was too late.
***
I threw some cash at the cab driver and ran into the hospital. "I'm looking for Jeffrey Shaw," I said to the receptionist.
Her eyebrows lowered slightly. Sympathy. I was so fucking tired of getting people's sympathy. The whole car ride over here I thought about the extra time I spent in California with Tyler. I should have just come home. He was right. God, please don't let me be too late.
"He's in room 237."
"Thank you." I took the stairs two at a time. I didn't even need to find the room. I saw the employees from the bar and friends from town all clustered together at the end of the hall.
I ran over to Anna and shoved the envelope that contained the check and credit cards into her hands.
"Hailey..." There was the sympathy again. All over Anna's face.
"Please just find the doctor and give that to him."
"Hailey..." but I was already pushing the door open to my dad's room.
She caught my arm before I could enter. I never would have guessed how strong Anna was.
"Hailey you need to be prepared for what you're walking into."
"I got the money. He's going to be fine."
"Hon, he's not going to be fine." She grabbed my shoulders so that I would face her. Her eyes were filled with tears. "He's dying. You're lucky he held on this long. He doesn't have much time left."
"He has at least four months."
Anna shook her head.
I didn't have time to listen to Anna fill me on what I had missed. I knew what I had missed. I had missed my last few days with my dad. I shook away from her grip. No. No, he was going to be okay.
I turned away from her and pushed through the door.
But I immediately froze when I saw him. He looked ten years older.
He looked...he looked like he was dying.
I bit the inside of my lip, trying to hold back the tears.
I needed to be strong for him. "Dad?" I whispered. It looked like he was sleeping.
He coughed into his hand, which had tubes sticking out of it. "Honey?" He coughed again and slowly opened his eyes.
"Hi, Daddy." I peeled myself from the wall and walked over to him. I grabbed his hand as I sat down next to his hospital bed. His hand felt so cold in mine. Dad.
"I missed you, honey." His voice sounded hoarse and his eyelids looked heavy.
I squeezed his hand. "I missed you too."
"Did you see her?"
I nodded my head.
"Promise me you didn't listen to anything she said."
I blinked faster so the tears wouldn't start. "No, of course not."
"Hails, look at me."
I blinked away my tears as he touched the bottom of my chin.
"Hails, you are not your mother. There's goodness in your heart." He coughed again. This time there was blood on his hand.
"I should get a doctor."
"No, wait." He coughed again. "I talked to a financial advisor. You need to sell the house. And the bar. I had a life insurance policy in case anything happened to me when you were a kid. It's still good. It should be enough to settle all my debts. Enough to give you a fresh start."
I shook my head. "Dad, I got the money for the treatments. You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay."
"It's too late, Hails.
"It's not too late. You can fight this."
"I don't have any fight left in me."
Please don't give up. "Of course you do. You're the strongest person I know."
He smiled. It looked like it pained him to do it. "Go live your life, Hails. You're bigger than this town. Go make me proud."
"Dad, this town is my life. You're my life. I love it here. This was always enough for me."
He smiled. "You were always enough for me.
You were the best thing that ever happened to me.
The greatest blessing that this life ever gave me.
That's why you need to keep your heart open, Hails.
Don't go your whole life being scared to let people in.
You need to know that I never regretted what happened with your mother. Because she gave me you."
The tears streamed down my cheeks. It was such a contrast to the things Elena had said. My dad had always made me feel like I was a gift. That I was special. That I was loved. Why had I ever felt like I was missing something? I didn't need a mother. Because I had the best dad a girl could ask for.
"For me, the sun rose and set with your smile. Don't ever stop smiling. Don't ever change, Hails. I love you so much, honey." He touched the bottom of my chin again.
"I love you too. Dad, we can fight this together."
He coughed again. More blood came out on his hand.
"I'm going to go get a doctor." I ran over to the door as the machine he was attached to started to beep.
A doctor was already standing by the door talking to Anna.
"He's coughing up blood and the machine started beeping..."
The doctor rushed into the room.
Anna gently touched my arm. "Is he..." her voice trailed off as she stared at me.
"No, of course not. He's going to be fine." I shook her hand off me and followed the doctor back into my dad's room.
But the doctor wasn't doing anything. He was just writing something in his notebook. The machines had stopped. Everything was eerily quiet.
"Is he okay?"
He turned toward me. His facial expression matched Anna's from earlier. Matched the receptionist. Matched the cab driver's when he saw me bawling in the back seat of his car.
Fuck all of them. "Why aren't you doing anything?"
"I'm so sorry, you must be his daughter. I'm doctor Klein. We didn't realize how fast the cancer was spreading. We did everything we could."
I shook my head. "What? No. I got the money for the treatments."
"I'm so very sorry." He pulled the envelope I had given Anna out of his coat pocket and handed it back to me.
I tried to push it back at him. "Use it to save him."
"I'm sorry, Miss Shaw. He's gone."
What was he talking about? Tears were streaming down my face. "He's right there. Why aren't you doing anything?!" I could hear the hysteria in my voice, but I didn't care.
"Hon..." Anna touched my arm.
I shook her off again.
"Someone do something! He has four months! Do something!"
"Oh, Hailey." Anna tried to embrace me in a hug but I brushed past her.
"Dad." I grabbed his hand again. "Dad, wake up."
"Miss Shaw, the time of death was..."
"No. Please. Dad. You can't leave me." I squeezed his hand. "I need you. Daddy I need you. Please." Someone touched my shoulder and this time I didn't push them off.
There were so many things I hadn't gotten to say.
I held his hand even tighter and leaned my forehead against his arm.
I love you. You were all I ever needed. You were enough for me too.
I couldn't seem to stop my sobbing. I saw the Grand Canyon, Dad.
And the Pacific Ocean. I faced my fears.
And I fell in love with a boy. I opened my heart just like you wanted me to.
But I'd take it all back. I'd redo all of it if I could have one more week with you.