Missing Pieces - Chapter 58
Tyler
Saturday
I turned on my blinker and exited the highway when the annoying voice on my GPS instructed me to. Even though I hated it, I didn't want to miss the exit. For some reason it felt like I was running out of time. It had been over a week since I had left her in that motel in Santa Monica.
She had probably been writing to me, wondering why I wasn't writing back. I never wanted to make her feel like I didn't want to respond. I knew how much that hurt her because of her mom. Please don't let me be too late. I wanted her to jump into my arms, not slap me.
I drove by the sign promising a gas station and smiled.
It was like I had turned back time. Except this time I wasn't heartbroken and lost. I had fallen in love with a girl from Indiana.
And she loved me back. I hadn't signed my life away.
I was free. Free to stay, free to love her.
I'd get to hold her in my arms again. I'd get to shake her dad's hand.
As soon as I saw the bar, I sighed with relief. There were a few cars parked outside, but I didn't doubt that it was packed inside. I put the car in park and grabbed the bouquet of flowers.
When I walked into the bar I thought Hailey would be standing behind the counter and that our eyes would instantly meet.
And that I'd see her beautiful smile as she ran toward me.
It would be the perfect reunion. In reality, Hailey was nowhere in sight.
I glanced around the bar. The only person that seemed to be working was an older woman. She was wiping down the counter.
I walked over to her. "Hi, is Hailey here?"
She gave me a small smile. "May I ask who's asking? I don't really think she's expecting anyone today."
"I'm Tyler."
She gave me a blank stare.
For some reason I thought Hailey would have told everyone about me.
That she'd be excited about us. I shook away the thought.
We hadn't discussed labels or anything. Yes, I viewed Hailey as my girlfriend, but I never actually asked her to be.
I'd make sure I asked her that tonight. I wanted to tell the world.
I wanted her to officially be mine. "I'm a friend," I clarified.
I was definitely tired of referring to her as that.
Hailey was everything to me. "I was actually trying to surprise her. "
"Oh, it's nice that you came by. Did you want me to take those?" She reached out for the flowers.
For the first time I realized that there were flowers all around the bar. On the tables, on the bar counter, in the corners of the room. I didn't remember it looking like that. "No, that's okay. I'd like to give her them in person."
She smiled. "Okay, hon. She's in her dad's office down the hall to the right. But," she grabbed my arm. "She's not feeling very well today. Hopefully seeing an old friend will cheer her up. Maybe you're just what she needs." She looked hopeful.
"Yeah." I hope I'm still what she needs. "Why isn't she feeling well?"
The woman winked at me. "That's the spirit. With that attitude, you'll have her back out here in no time."
What? "Mhm," I said awkwardly. "So, down the hall to the right?"
She nodded.
I walked around the bar and toward the back hall. There was a door marked with "Jeffrey Shaw," on the right side. I knocked on it.
There was no answer.
I knocked again and slowly opened it. Hailey was sitting at the computer typing furiously. She didn't look up from the computer.
"Anna, I told you I was fine, you don't have to keep checking on me. I'm not good at coding, it's going to take me a while to get the website up. But I have to get this done." She nodded to herself. "I just need to get this done," she said under her breath as she continued typing.
She looked skinnier. Her cheeks almost looked hollow. She was still breathtakingly beautiful, but she did look like she wasn't feeling well. That's what the woman behind the bar had said. Was she sick?
"Hails, it's me."
She stood up, causing the chair to squeak against the floor. She ran her fingers through her hair and then immediately shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. It was almost like she looked scared of me.
"God, it's so good to see you." I took a step toward her, but she immediately took a step back, even though the desk was already separating us.
"What are you doing here, Tyler?"
"I came to see you." I held the flowers out for her. When she didn't take them, I set them down on the desk. I thought she might look excited to see me. I hadn't spoken to her in over a week. I missed her like crazy.
But she didn't look happy to see me at all. She glanced back down at the computer screen. "I'm a little busy right now. I have a whole bunch of stuff I need to finish. I can't do this right now."
Do what? I laughed. "What are you talking about? I just drove twelve hours straight to come see you."
"Twelve hours?" She wrapped her arms a little tighter around herself. "Were you in New York?"
I remembered our discussion about NYC being twelve hours away from here. This wasn't how I wanted to tell her my news, but it seemed like now was as good a time as any. "Yeah, it's been a crazy week. I..."
"Did you see her? Is that why you were there?"
"That's not why I was there." This conversation was not going how I planned it. "But yes, I saw Penny."
She nodded and then immediately shook her head. "Look, Tyler, I had a lot of fun on our little road trip. But I think we both know what that really was. And I really am busy right now."
"It was the best week of my life."
She laughed. But it wasn't her real laugh. Not the one I loved so much.
"Well, I highly doubt that. We both needed a little escape from our real lives. Which was great, but that's all it was. Now I need to get back to my real life. And you need to get back to yours. Whatever the hell that is. Because it certainly has nothing to do with the marines."
"Not now. I..."
"Not ever, Tyler. You lied to me."
"I never lied to you. It's a long story..."
"And I don't have time to hear it!" She bit her bottom lip, but it didn't hide the fact that it was trembling.
"I called the recruit depot. They didn't have any record of you even enlisting.
You left me for no reason without saying goodbye.
And went to New York? To see someone else?
I'm not an idiot, Tyler. I can connect the dots. "
"That's not what happened."
"It doesn't matter what you say. I'm not going to believe it.
I can't believe anything you ever said to me.
God, I don't even know why we're having this conversation.
" She pulled open a drawer in the desk and held out two credit cards to me.
"These are yours. I didn't use them. And I tore up the check, so you don't have to worry about that.
You can go now. I don't owe you anything else. We're done here."
"We're not done."
"Yes, we are. We were done as soon as I got all the letters that I sent you back. And you read them! You knew I was hurting and you ignored me. So yes, we're done. You never gave a shit about me. I was just too naive to see it."
"I never got those letters."
She shook her head as she opened up another drawer and pulled out a handful of envelopes. "Not only did you get them, you read them, you asshole. And then returned all of them to me. You're heartless."
"Hailey, I swear to God I never got those letters. I..."
"I don't care about your excuses. I needed you and you weren't there. You promised me you'd write back. You promised." Her voice cracked. "I told you about my mom. You knew how much that would hurt me and you did it anyway. So I'm not going to let you lie to me anymore. I need you to leave. Now."
Shit. "Hails, I didn't lie..."
"Don't call me that." She put her hand on her chest, like it physically pained her to hear me call her by her nickname. "You need to go."
"But I..."
"I don't need you."
"Hailey."
"What did you expect, Tyler? Time doesn't stop just because you want it to. Time doesn't stop." She was shaking. She put her hands on the desk to steady herself.
"You wanted to know why I'm here. I'm here to start my life with you. I'm here because I love you."
"Well I don't love you. I just got caught up in the moment. And now the moment's over." She set her mouth in a straight line.
"Nothing's changed. My feelings for you, if anything, have gotten stronger."
"Please stop."
"Can't we just pretend that the last week never happened? Can't we go back to Santa Monica and just continue where we left off?"
"My dad died."
Fuck. She needed me. I wasn't there for her. Damn it! "Hails, I'm so sorry." I wanted to reach out for her. I wanted to comfort her. But it seemed like she was in pain looking at me. I had hurt her and I had no idea how to fix it.
She shook her head. "You said I wouldn't be alone.
I have never felt so alone in my entire life, Tyler.
If anything, meeting you made all of this way more painful because I let myself hope.
I'm done. I'm tired. So I'm going to focus on saving the one thing that's left of him.
And I can't have any distractions. I think it's best if you leave. "
"But I can help you."
She shook her head again. "I don't need your help."
"Hailey." I could hear the desperation in my voice. "Remember what we have."
"A summer fling. That's it." She put her arms in front of her stomach, closing herself off from me. "That's all it ever will be. I don't love you."
"It's more than that, and you know it.
"You abandoned me. You went to New York to be with your ex instead of me. I needed you, Tyler. I needed you and you weren't there."
"I didn't choose to go to New York."
"Great. I don't really care. Because I realized that I don't need anyone. I'm just fine on my own." She seemed to wince at her own words.
"Hailey..."
"And you know the worst part? My dad was always there for me, and I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most." She walked around the desk and shoved me hard in the chest. "Because I lost sight of what was important in my life.
" She shoved me again and I stepped backwards into the hall.
"I'm never going to do that again." She shoved me even harder.
The bar had suddenly grown quiet. I could feel everyone's eyes on us.
All I could focus on was that even when she was mad at me, I still felt the spark of her touch.
But I didn't know what to say. Because deep down I knew I had already lost her.
"I love you." I meant it as a declaration, but it came out as more of a plea.
"I'm done giving people second chances." She threw all the letters she had written to me at my face and slammed the door.