Untouchable - Chapter 7
Monday
It was finally time for my last class of the day.
Entrepreneurial studies. Better known to me as my class with Matt, because I was much better at studying him than the assignments.
I sat down in my usual seat, which was always directly behind Matt.
It was the only time I could stare shamelessly at him.
And even though my stomach was twisted in knots from my shitty day, I was still excited to see him.
Talk to him. That would be a first in this room.
But I wasn’t going to pretend that nothing happened at lunch like I was pretending I hadn’t seen anything this morning.
I needed to know if he was seeing Isabella.
The thought made my stomach churn even more.
Matt and Rob came in right before the bell rang.
I smiled up at Matt and he…didn’t even glance in my direction as he sat down in front of me.
I opened my mouth and then closed it. That was harsh. Was he seriously going to act like Friday night hadn’t happened? Like he hadn’t just sat with me at lunch? What the hell?
I pressed my lips together. He was probably just focused on getting to his seat in time. Right?
Mr. Hill was writing something on the board.
I took his moment of distraction to lean forward. “Matt?” I whispered.
He didn’t turn around. He didn’t move at all. It was like he hadn’t even heard me. I touched my throat, like maybe there was something defective in my vocal cords.
The girl that sat to my left snickered. I recognized her from Isabella’s posse. I was pretty sure her name was Charlotte.
“In your poor girl dreams,” Charlotte said with a laugh. She didn’t even bother to whisper. A few other students laughed too.
Matt didn’t laugh. But he also didn’t come to my rescue like he had on Friday night. He just…didn’t acknowledge that anything had happened at all. For some reason, that stung even more.
I didn’t feel like I was going crazy though. Because Rob turned to him and gave him a strange look, like he was trying to figure him out too.
“You’re here,” Charlotte said and put her hand on my desk. “The Caldwells are here.” She lifted her hand above my head. “So why are you even attempting to speak to him?”
“Because we’re friends,” I said, more to the back of Matt’s head than to her. And despite the fact that I believed it, the words came out as more of a question than a statement. Because right now I could really use a friend. And Matt? He was ignoring me like what Charlotte was saying was true.
Matt ran his fingers through his golden hair instead of agreeing with me. But I noticed the way his shoulders were moving up and down a little faster like he was breathing hard. Was he holding back laughter?
He’s trying not to laugh at me. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He actually agrees with her.
Rob looked at him and then turned around. “How about you just leave her alone, Charlotte?” he said. “You’re acting like anyone here actually likes you when all you are is Isabella’s minion.”
She glared at Rob. “This is between me, her, and Matt. It has nothing to do with you.”
“It does if you…”
“Nope.” Charlotte popped the “p” in nope. “She’s a loser. No one would be friends with her, including you, Rob. So don’t even pretend to be her knight in shining armor when we both know she’ll never deserve one.”
More students started laughing. I could feel the tears prickling the corners of my eyes.
She turned her attention back to me. “How about you go back to whatever public school you came from?” she said. “Nobody, and I mean nobody , wants you here.”
The pencil in Matt’s hand snapped in half.
“Isn’t that right, Matt?” Charlotte said. “Don’t you wish she’d just…disappear?”
The way she said it made me swallow hard. What did she mean by that? I wanted to think it meant nothing. But I was pretty sure people as rich as her had the means to make people disappear without a trace.
“Poof. Gone.” She snapped her fingers.
“Shut the hell up, Charlotte,” Matt finally said. His words were like ice and I felt frozen in place. But he didn’t turn around to look at me or her. He just kept looking straight ahead at the board.
“What…it’s true,” Charlotte said. “He’ll never go out with you, Brook or whatever your name is. He’ll never even speak to you again. I’m positively sure of it.”
“Brooklyn. My name is Brooklyn.” I wasn’t sure why that was the only thing I’d decided to defend. Like suddenly the only thing I knew for sure was my name.
“Class has started, Miss Sanders,” our teacher said and tapped his chalk against the board. “How about you turn to page 27 of your book like everyone else has and read the section about innovation aloud?”
Charlotte snickered.
I felt my face turning red. Was Mr. Hill really calling me out for talking?
All I’d said was my name and Charlotte had been antagonizing me for the first few minutes of class.
Kennedy had told me that there were rumors about Mr. Hill hating scholarship students.
That he sucked up to the rich kids so they'd invest in one of his crazy entrepreneurship ideas or something like that.
I'd initially thought about dropping the class, but then it was the only one I had with Matt.
And Mr. Hill had seemed okay until...this moment.
“Now, Miss Sanders. Or would you like to spend the remainder of class in the principal’s office?”
I opened up to the page he’d written on the board and started reading.
Mr. Hill tapped his chalk against the board again. “I said the section about innovation. You’re three paragraphs too high. Pay attention.”
It seemed like everyone was laughing at me now. Matt’s shoulders were still moving like he was holding back laughter. But my eyes landed on the broken pencil on his desk and suddenly it didn’t seem like he was laughing. He seemed…angry. The rage was rolling off his shoulders. I could feel it.
I wanted to stop staring. Because the only person he had to be mad at was himself. Despite what Charlotte thought, I didn’t need a knight in shining armor. All I needed was a friend, and he’d failed pretty hard in that department.
“Last warning, Miss Sanders.”
Screw me. I’d been staring at Matt instead of reading.
I started again three paragraphs down. With all the giggling around me I kept stumbling over my words, making their mockery significantly worse.
I kept waiting for Mr. Hill to tell me I could stop reading out loud.
But the reprieve never came. He made me recite page after page until the bell rang.
Thank God. My throat was on fire. I wasn’t sure I’d ever talked so much in my life. And my ears were ringing with the students' laughter. I was barely holding back my tears.
“Next time don’t talk during my class, Miss Sanders,” Mr. Hill said. “You’re all dismissed.”
I wasn’t at all surprised when Matt stood up and walked toward the door without saying a word to me.
But he turned his head at the last second and glanced at me.
I’d recognize the look on his face anywhere.
Pity. It’s how everyone looked at me after my mom died.
But he didn’t know anything about my mom.
He actually didn’t know a single thing about me.
And I didn’t need his pity. I didn’t need anything from him. Not in this classroom. Not ever.
“Later, Brook,” Charlotte said and followed Matt out of the classroom.
“Brooklyn,” I croaked. “My name is Brooklyn,” I corrected again, not that anyone was listening to me. Charlotte was right. I didn’t fit in here. It was one thing for the other students to hate me. It was another for my teacher to pick on me too. I rushed out of the classroom.
I gathered my things from my locker and shoved them into my backpack. Fuck entrepreneurial studies. Fuck Matt. And fuck Empire High. I was done with this school. I didn’t have any intention of coming back. I was going home.
I heard the click of Kennedy’s camera but ignored it.
“Why are you emptying out your locker?” she asked.
I didn’t respond.
She leaned against the adjacent locker. “Cold shoulder, huh? I get it,” she said with a sigh.
“I owe you an apology for earlier. It’s just…
freshman year I thought Felix liked me. And for like five minutes I maybe sorta liked him back because…
it’s hard not to like the guy. It turned out he just wanted to sell me pot though.
I guess I’m still a little bitter about it.
” She grabbed my hand to stop me from shoving more stuff into my backpack.
“Seriously, Brooklyn, what are you doing? I said I was sorry.”
“I can’t do this anymore.” The tears I’d been holding back for the past hour were seconds away from spilling over.
“Can’t do what? What happened?”
I shook my head and the dam burst. Tears cascaded down my cheeks.
Kennedy closed my locker before I could pack anything else up and pulled me to the restroom. I thought she was going to ask me a million questions. Instead she just hugged me.
She hugged me while I cried. And cried. And cried some more.
I was an idiot. Because instead of appreciating that someone had my back, I was just sad that Matt hadn’t followed me into yet another bathroom to see if I was okay. I cried even harder.
Everything Charlotte had said was true. Matthew Caldwell was a god at this high school. And all I’d ever be to someone like him was a joke. Clearly.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Kennedy asked as she rubbed her hand up and down my back.
“There’s not much to talk about.” I sniffed and pulled away from her embrace.
“Matt didn’t talk to me in class. Not even a hello.
And he just sat there while Isabella’s underling, Charlotte, berated me for five minutes.
I don’t know what happened. Matt just pretended I didn’t exist. And then Mr. Hill yelled at me for talking during class and I had to read out loud for an hour. ”
Kennedy cringed. “So which one should I kill first…Charlotte, Matt, or Mr. Hill?”
I laughed.
“See, you’re better already. Fuck them,” she said and pulled me back into a hug. “Who needs any of them?”
“I really just want to go home,” I said, ignoring her question.
Because the truth was that I needed Matthew Caldwell.
He was the only one here that made it feel like my heart hadn’t stopped beating after I buried my mother.
And I couldn’t let go of the feeling he gave me or else I’d be drowning again.
As I stood there crying in the bathroom, I realized it was already too late.
I’d been lying to myself the whole time anyway.
I was drowning. I’d been drowning for weeks.
“Then let’s go home.”
She didn’t get it. I didn’t want to go back to my uncle’s apartment.
I wanted to go home to Delaware. Where people had known me my whole life and smiled at me when I walked by instead of sneering.
I wanted to sit on my mother’s grave and tell her about my shitty day.
I was too far away from her here. And I didn’t know how much longer I could keep going with so much distance between us.