Matchmaker - Chapter 2
Thursday
I made a right toward my apartment building and slammed on the brakes.
I was pretty sure my heart stopped beating.
Horns blared behind me as I stared at the woman whose blonde hair was swirling in the autumn breeze, covering her face.
Brooklyn? My knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as the blonde woman slowly turned toward me.
I held my breath. And for just a second, I let myself hope. Because I was a fucking idiot.
There was a scowl on the woman’s face. A face that looked nothing like Brooklyn’s. She was staring at me like I was a lunatic with a death wish. Maybe I was crazy. I didn’t want to die though. I knew all too well what damage a life cut short could cause.
Another horn honked behind me. And then it was like a symphony of horns. Fuck. A taxi swerved around me and the driver lifted his middle finger in the air as he blew past me.
Asshole. The horns started up again and I pressed down on the gas. My heart felt weird in my chest. Like it was beating out of sync.
I made a quick U-turn. I didn’t care about changing out of my sweaty clothes anymore.
I just needed a drink. It wasn’t like I needed to make a good impression on Penny anyway.
Her husband was practically a brother to me.
Which made her practically a sister. My stomach rolled over.
I sped into her apartment building’s underground parking garage and pulled into one of the empty spots next to James’ extensive car collection.
I sat there for a few minutes trying to catch my breath.
It had been a while since I thought I’d seen Brooklyn walking around the city like a ghost. But every now and then some random woman with blonde hair made me freeze.
It was never her. And every time it happened, it messed up my breathing and made it feel like someone had turned me inside out.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Brooklyn used to get panic attacks all the time. She’d left them with me. Just like she’d left me with a hole in my heart and an overactive imagination. I ran my hand down my face and then climbed out of my car. A drink would help.
I let myself into the apartment building and nodded at the man standing at the front desk.
“Good evening, Mr. Caldwell,” he said. “Mrs. Hunter’s expecting you.”
Mrs. Hunter. I wasn’t sure why it bothered me so much when people called Penny that.
I tried to give the attendant a smile even though I was still having trouble catching my breath.
I hit the elevator button and stepped inside.
Breathe in. Breathe out. As soon as the doors closed, I let the back of my head rest against the elevator wall.
The doors dinged open far too soon. I walked out onto Penny’s floor and looked up at the cameras that were pointed toward the elevator.
James’ security team would be watching me.
It was possible that even James was watching.
It didn’t matter if Penny promised our meeting would be a secret. It would never be secret here.
I should have turned around right then. But I knew on the other side of that door was a scotch and someone who wouldn’t make me feel like I was crazy. I knocked.
Penny opened the door with a huge smile on her face. “You came!” It was like her cheery words caught in her throat and died at the sight of me. “Matt, are you alright?”
“Fine.” I stepped past her. “I just need a drink.”
“Okay…” she said, following me into her huge kitchen.
I could feel her eyes on me as I took out a glass and poured myself some scotch. I knew I was being rude. But I took a huge sip anyway before turning back to her. “Sorry. Do you want some?” I set the glass down on the counter with a clink when I realized my hand was shaking.
She laughed. “As good as a drink sounds right now, I can’t. I’m breastfeeding.”
My eyes wandered to her breasts and I didn’t even try to hide it.
What the hell am I doing? She was breastfeeding her baby boy that would one day call me Uncle Matt just like her daughter did.
I grabbed my glass, downed the rest of the burning liquid, and tried not to cough.
“I’m sorry. I just stopped by to tell you that I need to cancel our plans for tonight.
I’ll catch you later.” I tried to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm.
“Matt.” Her voice was laced with concern. But I barely heard it. Because it was like the fire in my throat had somehow transferred to where she was touching my skin.
I pulled back. “Penny, I’ve had a really shitty day and I don’t want to pretend that everything is fine. You know I don’t want to do this.”
“I’m not asking you to pretend anything.
And I thought you did want this?” She pulled her arms across her chest like she was hugging herself.
Like she was trying to protect herself from my wrath.
“I’m sorry, Matt. I didn’t mean to pressure you.
” She shook her head. “I didn’t realize I was doing that.
I thought…I just…” her voice trailed off. “I’m sorry.”
Fuck. I hadn’t meant to upset her.
She was blinking fast like she was about to cry.
I’d noticed her doing that more and more recently.
Like there was something in her life that was making her unhappy.
She was hiding something. And her secrets drew me closer.
It was one of the reasons why I’d agreed to meet with her like this.
I wanted her to let me in. Even though I wasn’t the person she should be opening up to.
She blinked faster and all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms. And kiss away the tears before they had a chance to fall. I took another step back from her.
She hugged herself even tighter and forced a smile onto her face. “I’m sorry you had a bad day. It’s okay if you want to go. I have a little work I need to finish up anyway.”
I just stared at her. Because I didn’t really want to leave.
“But I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” she added.
I pressed my lips together. It was a bad idea. My breathing had finally evened out, but I still felt shaky. The last thing I needed was for Penny to see me like this. But I found myself nodding. “Okay.”
“Okay you’ll stay?”
“Yeah. I’m going to need another drink though.”
“Do you want something to eat too? Ellen made a delicious chicken casserole for dinner last night and we have some leftovers.”
Her housekeeper, Ellen, was a great cook. And the thought of a home-cooked meal made my stomach growl. I nodded.
“Great. Go sit down and I’ll warm some up for you and grab you another drink.” She turned her back to me.
I retreated to the living room. Not just because I needed a minute to calm down.
But it seemed like she needed a minute to compose herself too.
I sat down on the couch. I was still in my sweatpants and t-shirt from practice.
I’m pretty sure I smelled from running sprints with the team.
And I probably looked like death after thinking I saw the dead walking along the busy streets of Manhattan.
I leaned forward, placing my elbows on top of my knees, as I stared at pictures of Penny’s happy family on the wall.
There were several framed pictures from James and Penny’s wedding day.
I was standing right next to James with a huge smile on my face.
A fake one. But I wasn’t sure anyone could tell.
It should have been me.
I looked down at my hands. I wasn’t a homewrecker.
I wasn’t actually here to sleep with Penny, despite my wandering thoughts.
The only reason she’d invited me over was because she’d offered to help me with online dating.
I didn’t want to date. I didn’t date. Ever.
But I couldn’t pass up spending more time with Penny.
We rarely ever hung out one on one. And here she was, offering.
She’d even said she wouldn’t tell anyone about it.
Our little secret project. One I figured I could drag out for as long as I wanted.
Because we didn’t have the same end goal.
Penny pictured me having a life like her and James. Happily married with two kids.
But I didn’t want that. I would never get married. And I’d never have kids. I’d given up on that dream when I buried the love of my life.
“Here you go,” Penny said, setting down my glass and a plate piled high with steaming deliciousness.
“Thanks, Penny.” I grabbed the plate of food instead of downing another glass of scotch. I practically sighed around my first bite. Definitely better than takeout.
“I thought you were coming from work?” Penny asked.
“I did.”
She stared at my sweatpants but didn’t say anything else about it. “So, bad day at the office?”
I shrugged. “Something like that.”
She sat down next to me and pulled her legs up beneath her on the couch.
“I was really excited about tonight. Honestly, I’ve been looking forward to it for months.
And when you finally didn’t ditch me, I figured it meant you were excited too.
But we don’t have to set up a dating profile for you tonight. We can just talk.”
I really would prefer just talking to her.
“How are you doing?” I asked. She’d been through a lot.
We’d almost lost her. We’d almost lost her baby boy, Liam.
And I could see it in her eyes. She was still holding on to something there.
And I think maybe when we almost lost her, it reminded me of losing Brooklyn.
Maybe that’s why I kept feeling like I saw Brooklyn on the streets.
Like my past was somehow swirling with my present.
“I’m good.” She laughed and pretended like she meant it. “I kind of thought we’d talk about why you’re upset today.” She leaned back on the couch, resting her head in her hand. “Or why you keep postponing trying to find your soulmate.”
Soulmate. The word sounded bitter instead of hopeful.
I took another bite of casserole to stall.
Because talking led to the truth. I wasn’t going to talk to her about Brooklyn.
One of the reasons I liked hanging out with Penny was because she didn’t know about my past. “No, let’s go ahead and set up this dating profile you’re so obsessed with.
” Besides, actually going through with this was the best pretense I had to keep coming back here and hanging out with her.
“Really?” A huge, crazy smile spread across her face.
Fine, she didn’t really look crazy. She was always beautiful.
And I could easily imagine pushing her back on the couch.
My fingers tangled in her hair. That blush on her cheeks just for me.
I’d kiss that smirk right off her perfect face.
And I wouldn’t need to go on some stupid dating app and play pretend.
I knew for a fact that I’d never find someone.
But it wouldn’t be half bad having Penny to keep my bed warm.
I hated that I wanted that. But I couldn’t deny it was true.
She reminded me so much of Brooklyn. She was sweet and kind and hopeful, despite everything she’d been through.
Her laugh filled a room in the same way Brooklyn’s had.
Her voice even sounded similar. I wasn’t sure if it was a slight Delawarean accent or what.
But when she spoke, I always found myself drawing closer to her.
Like she could help me remember everything I’d lost. Even if just for one night.
Yeah, I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking about James’ wife in that way. But I didn’t feel like chastising myself right now. And I couldn’t sit there and deny that she was hot. Gorgeous with a whole lot of crazy currently directed at me.
“Stop it,” I said.
“Stop what?” she asked. But her smile didn’t disappear. If anything, it grew.
“Stop staring at me like you’re about to do something weird.”
Penny laughed. “I’m not doing anything weird.
You came to me for help.” She rubbed her hands together in evil joy.
“So what dating app were you thinking? I’m a little out of my depth here.
James and I met before this whole online dating thing had gotten popular. I never got to experience any of that.”
“I thought you said you knew what you were doing.”
“I do.” She laughed. “Forget everything I just said. I’m a very skilled matchmaker. You came to exactly the right place. And I know which app I want to use. I saw a commercial the other day about compatibility and percentages. Apparently true love…”
True love? Give me a break. “Yeah, I’m out,” I joked and pretended to start to stand up. But I wasn’t going anywhere. Joking around with her was one of my favorite things.
“Matt.” She caught my arm and I tried to ignore the spark that her touch ignited on my skin.
Again. It kept happening. And I wanted to pretend it was nothing.
But it didn’t feel like nothing to me. It had been a long time since I’d felt something like that.
A really long time. It was one of the reasons I’d come over here like an idiot, pretending to ask for her help.
But she felt it too, right? My eyes locked with hers. We both stood frozen for just a few seconds.
I wanted to kiss her. I ran through the consequences in my head.
James would hate me. Despite years of trying to forget how much he’d fucked up my relationship with Brooklyn, a part of me still hated him.
So I didn’t really care about that. Our friendship was built on a foundation of rotten wood.
It was doomed to collapse eventually. But if I kissed James’ wife, Rob would never forgive me either.
He’d choose his brother over his best friend.
Worst of all, my brother, Mason, wouldn’t even have my back on this one.
There’d be nothing he could say to defend me.
I was crossing too many lines. I’d lose everything.
But what did I really have anyway? Some half ass friends that pretended the past meant nothing when I was fucking drowning every day?
They didn’t understand. They didn’t even care.
I swallowed hard. There were two things that could happen immediately if I went for it. Penny might slap me and kick me out. Or… My eyes landed on her lips. Or she might kiss me back.