Matchmaker - Chapter 6
Friday
“So Tanner has a few ideas about your potential dating prospects,” Penny said.
I choked on my milkshake.
She started talking again, oblivious to the fact that I was going to die a slow painful milkshake death.
“And it will be kind of nice to have his help because James doesn’t exactly like us hanging out alone.
He’s got it stuck in his head that you want to sleep with me.
” She laughed like the thought was ridiculous.
It wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.
“Don’t worry, I promised him that you don’t have feelings for me like that,” she said. “But he’s being really stubborn about this. You know how he gets a little overprotective sometimes.”
“Oh yeah,” Tanner said, slapping me on the back to help with my choking. “Sorry, I forgot to give you a heads-up. During the game I found out that James knows about Penny helping you find true love.”
Clearly. How the fuck did James find out? What the hell was going on?
“It’s cool,” Tanner said. “We have a solution to work around that. A loophole, if you will.”
I ignored him. “Penny, you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone,” I said.
“Right. Any random person. Or like one of our friends. But I tell James everything. You know that. I don’t know how to keep a secret from him.
Besides, we have cameras all over our apartment.
He wanted to know why you were there. And don’t look at me like that.
Tanner was the one that brought it up at the game.
So we’re even. I told my husband and you told your… your Tanner.”
My Tanner? I didn’t have time to digest how gay that sounded. Because James was going to kill me for sneaking around behind his back with his wife. I was having dinner with him and Mason and Rob tomorrow night. Which meant I probably wouldn’t live to see Sunday.
“I’m sorry,” she added. “I really am. James asked and I couldn’t lie. You know I’m a terrible liar.”
She was. But still. Fuck.
Tanner cleared his throat. “Anyway, back to what I was saying. Penny’s going to let James know that I’m helping you find true love too. So it’s no longer an issue of the two of you hanging out.”
If he said “true love” one more time I was going to snap. I’d told him that this stupid dating app thing wasn’t about finding true love. It was about getting to hang out with Penny one on one. Not hanging out with her and Tanner. What was he doing?
Penny took a sip of her milkshake.
And for a second, as her lips wrapped around the straw, I forgot that I was pissed at her. God, I just wanted to feel those lips around my cock. Stop.
“It’s a good thing you did tell Tanner,” Penny said. “He told me he has a whole binder full of potential suitors.” She frowned. “No, that’s not the right word. Suitresses? Maybe?”
Tanner nodded. “Yes, it’s a bit of a dated term, but suitress is the female equivalent to suitor. I’m impressed that you knew that. I haven’t heard the term in years. And I do indeed have a binder full of suitresses.”
I didn’t need his binder full of women. We’d literally just talked about this last night. Did he have severe memory loss or something?
“Mommy?” Scarlett said, yawning awake from her nap. “I need to use the potty. Please,” she added.
“Okay,” Penny said and scooped her up into her arms. “Be right back.” She practically sprinted to the restroom.
Scarlett liked to give very little warning before she needed to use the bathroom. In that one way she was just like her father. Very uncaring of the consequences of her actions. Fine, she also had brown eyes like James. Otherwise she was as sweet and beautiful as her mother.
“So this is going very well,” Tanner said.
I turned to him. “Really? What part of this conversation do you think is going well?”
“You weren’t going to be allowed to hang out with her anymore. So I inserted myself into the situation to appease her husband. You’re most welcome.”
“Tanner, I don’t actually want to find love. I told you that.”
“Yeah, but I had to continue with the charade. Did you expect me to tell her that this was all a ploy just so you could sleep with her?”
Fair point. “No, of course not.” I didn’t need James and Penny both mad at me.
He looked over to see that Penny and Scarlett were still in the restroom. “Hmm…too bad.”
“What’s too bad?” I learned a long time ago that you had to ask Tanner questions when he left stuff open ended. Waiting in silence for him to fill in the blanks never worked. He always acted like he had all the time in the world and would literally make you wait and wait and wait some more.
“Because she also agreed to sleep with you tonight. Room 904 at your usual place.”
Wait, what? I would’ve choked on my milkshake again if I’d just sipped any. “What are you talking about?”
He lowered his voice. “I told her that it’s better to get you out of her system than to let this unresolved sexual tension between you go on any longer in its destructive path.”
My heart started beating faster.
“But I’m assuming you can convince her that just this once isn’t quite enough. I’ll leave that to your performance in the bedroom tonight.”
“You’re kidding me right now.”
He laughed. “Do I ever joke about true love? And you’re going to have to pull out all the stops, because it sounds like James knows his way around the bedroom quite well.”
Why would I want to know that? I couldn’t question him any further because Penny and Scarlett sat back down.
I swore Penny blushed when she met my gaze.
This was really going to happen. I was going to sleep with Penny? For just a second I thought about James. But I squashed it back down. James never gave a shit about my feelings. Why should I care about his?
“So what’s the plan?” Penny asked. “I know you’re going out with the guys tomorrow, but maybe we can all get together on Sunday?”
Sunday? But Tanner said…
“Out with the guys?” Tanner asked and looked over at me.
I wasn’t actually going to go get drinks with them after I fucked Penny tonight. She must realize that. “James, Rob, and Mason. You’re welcome to come, Tanner. I just didn’t mention it because I know you don’t get along super well with them…”
“Of course I get along with them. I get along swimmingly with everyone. Just because Robert Hunter is jealous of our friendship doesn’t mean I don’t like him.”
Penny was looking back and forth between us, clearly finding our conversation entertaining.
“What are you giggling about?” I asked. I couldn’t wait to silence her with a kiss. How many nights had I dreamt of that?
“Nothing. You two bicker like an old married couple.” She handed the rest of her milkshake down to Scarlett, whose eyes lit up.
“We do not,” Tanner and I both said at the same time.
“Point made,” Penny said with a laugh.
I shook my head. “We’re meeting at My Favorite Bar at 8:30,” I said to Tanner. And you’re more than welcome to come.
“Oh, The Dead Rabbit?” Tanner asked. “Sounds great.”
“No, My Favorite Bar.”
“Huh. The Back Room?”
“No, My Favorite Bar, Tanner.”
“The one in East Village?”
“Tanner…”
He snapped his fingers. “Oh that swanky rooftop one?”
“The name of the bar is My Favorite Bar. None of us have ever been there, but it has good reviews.”
Tanner laughed. “What a stupid name for a bar. I knew your favorite was The Dead Rabbit.”
Penny shook her head. “Yup, definitely an old married couple. I gotta get Scarlett home before she falls asleep again.”
“But Mommy, I haven’t finished my milkyshake yet.” She gave it one last very loud slurp. “Never mind.” She pushed it onto the table.
Penny smiled at me. “See you both on Sunday, I guess.”
She’d said Sunday. Again. What about tonight?
“Just text me the time and place,” she added.
“For…Sunday?” I asked. What about room 904?
“Unless you’re busy?”
“No, Sunday’s great.” She probably just didn’t want to say anything in front of Scarlett.
“Bye, Uncle Matt!” Scarlett said. “Bye, Mr. Tanner.”
“See you later,” I said to Penny. I couldn’t even hide the stupid grin on my face. I’d be doing a lot more than seeing her later.
She gave me a weird look and then laughed. “On Sunday, yes.”
“ Right. Sunday.” I nodded.
Penny pulled her eyebrows together. “Are you feeling okay, Matt?”
“I’ll be feeling a lot better after tonight.”
She nodded. “I’m glad you liked the milkshake. We’re gonna leave now.” She gave me one last weird look, waved, and walked away.
Tanner burst out laughing.
I just stared at him.
“You thought I…” he laughed harder. “That she was going to…” He could barely catch his breath. “Tonight in a hotel…” He doubled over laughing.
Oh fuck. This was just one of his stupid pranks. Why did he always find it so funny to mess with me? Of course Penny wasn’t going to sleep with me tonight. For Christ’s sake, she had Scarlett with her.
“I got you so good,” Tanner finally said when he stopped laughing. “Pretty sure the only person getting laid tonight is James.” He slapped me on the back as he stood up to go. “You’re so gullible.”
“And you’re a terrible friend.”
“Terrible best friend, thank you very much. I’ll see you tomorrow night at My Favorite Bar.” He touched the side of his head like he was about to tip a hat. But he wasn’t wearing a hat. He shook his head, looking momentarily confused, and then hurried out of the restaurant.
The waitress came over and handed me the bill. What the hell? He’d jilted me with the check again.
***
I walked up the steps of my brownstone on one of the quieter streets in the city.
All my friends lived in swanky apartment buildings.
The first apartment I’d bought was just like theirs.
I’d hated that place. All the white walls and modern furniture and appliances.
It was like there was no life in it. It made me feel claustrophobic.
I’d sold it for a loss because I couldn’t bear to live another second in that empty hell hole.