Runaway - Chapter 13
Thursday
“Stop looking at me like that,” Miller said as he stared out the windshield.
But I wasn’t staring at Miller because I wanted him to put his foot down a little harder on the gas. And how did he even know I was staring at him? The big sunglasses I was wearing for a disguise made it a little hard to tell where my eyes were trained. “Looking at you how?”
He glanced at me for a second and then put his eyes on the road again.
“I’m not looking at you in any way.”
“Sure.”
“I wasn’t.”
“I know that look,” he said. “You want me to turn around and go back to New York.”
Honestly, I had no idea what I wanted. My head was as confused as my heart.
The things my dad had told me about Matt…
They could easily be lies. My father was manipulative.
But…what if he was telling the truth? Matt had been mad at me.
Furious, really. What if he was just relieved that I was gone?
I was glad I was wearing sunglasses, because I knew my eyes were puffy from crying.
I didn’t want to think about any of that right now though. I was happy to be out of my windowless room. I had no idea where we were going, but anything would be better than that. Especially because it would be just me and Miller. I’d had quite enough of Evil Nurse. “That’s not what I was thinking.”
“Then what are you thinking?” he asked.
His baseball cap was pulled down low. But nothing could hide the bruises all over his face, his black eye, the stitches, or the big bandage on his cheek.
I still wanted to see the rest of him. I needed to know what damage I’d caused.
Miller’s hoodie and jeans were covering the rest of him though.
He usually wore freshly pressed suits. I hadn’t seen him in casual clothes since I used to creep down to his room at night.
He would always greet me in sweatpants and no shirt.
It was a look I’d grown quite fond of. “I was thinking that I like your outfit.”
“You mean my disguise?”
“It’s hardly a disguise. I feel like this outfit is a lot more you than the suits my dad requires you to wear.”
He didn’t respond.
“I was also thinking that your face looks painful.”
He laughed. “I’m fine.”
I never believed anyone when they said that.
Because I said it a lot. And I was never telling the truth.
I was happy that he was laughing though.
“And maybe I was also thinking a little bit about the fact that this would be the perfect opportunity to get as far away from my father as possible. Maybe we should head west? I’ve never seen the Pacific Ocean. We could be runaways together.”
“As fun as it would be to go all Bonnie and Clyde with you…there’s a tracker on the car. And on my phone. If we don’t show up at the destination within two hours he’ll have everyone looking for us. You’ll need a better plan than to just turn right instead of left.”
“Then let’s stop at the next rest stop and hotwire a car. Toss your cell phone into the back of someone’s truck or something. Let it be a wild goose chase for them tracking your phone. Meanwhile we’ll be long gone.”
“Not a bad plan. Do you know how to hotwire a car?”
“No. Don’t you?”
He laughed. “Why would I know how to do that?”
“Because you’re all…you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You have that bad boy air of danger vibe about you. Certainly you’ve stolen a car before.”
He just shook his head and kept driving.
“But can we stop at the next rest stop anyway? I need to pee.”
“Well that just makes it sound like you’re going to run away from me.”
“I would never do that.” It was one thing I could definitely promise.
He had to keep me safe…or else. Which meant I couldn’t just ditch him.
Besides, I didn’t want to. What would I do out here in the middle of nowhere with no money and no phone?
It would be like when Isabella stranded me all over again.
Sure, this time I would have clothes on.
But I wouldn’t have James’ hotel room to run to.
I had no one to run to. Everyone hated me.
I continued to stare at Miller. “But seriously…I need to go. Like now.”
“The next rest stop isn’t for another 15 miles. Can you hold it until then?”
Really, that far? “No, I don’t think so. Can’t we just take this exit?” Surely there was a gas station near the exit.
Miller hit his turn signal and merged over to the exit lane. “Hopefully we can find a fast-food place or something.” He took the exit and there was…nothing but farmland. Mile after mile after mile of nothingness. No fast-food places, or restaurants, or gas stations.
I started drumming my fingers on my thigh. “Can we turn around? There’s nothing out here. We can backtrack to that other rest stop.” But I wasn’t actually sure I could hold it until then.
Miller did a quick U-turn to retrace our path…but it quickly became apparent that we’d made a wrong turn somewhere.
God, I was going to literally pee my pants.
“Let’s play a game,” he said.
If he was trying to distract me, this was not going to work. I just groaned.
“I spy with my little eye…something brown.”
“The millions of dead corn stalks in the middle of nowhere?”
“Bingo,” he said with a laugh. “Your turn.”
“I spy with my little eye no toilets anywhere.”
“Wow, that’s not how you play. I’ll go again. I spy with my little eye…um…something else brown.”
“Your eyes?”
He looked over at me with his dark brown eyes. There was a smile playing on the corner of his lips. “No.”
“Don’t look so cocky. I wasn’t checking you out. There’s just literally nothing out here. This is the worst game ever. Can’t we just knock on someone’s door and ask if we can use their bathroom?”
“No. That would be super weird.”
“Weirder than me peeing in the passenger’s seat? My bladder is literally about to explode here.”
He laughed.
“It’s not funny!”
“We can’t knock on a stranger’s door. No one’s supposed to see you.”
Fair point. Not that I was totally opposed to being alive again. “But seriously, Miller, I can’t hold it much longer.”
He started driving a little faster. There was no way we were going in the right direction.
I started humming to myself. Damn it. I was legit going to pee my pants.
Miller pulled over to the side of the road. “Go ahead.”
I looked out the window at the rows and rows of corn stalks. Um…what? “I can’t pee on the side of the road! I’ll be arrested!”
“Well don’t just drop your pants right on the side of the road. Hide behind some of the corn stalks. Be discreet about it. I’ll keep lookout.” He reached across me and opened up my door. “Go.”
But… God. I didn’t exactly have any other options. “But there’s no toilet paper.” It was my last line of defense. I couldn’t pee on someone’s farmland. There was zero way this was happening.
“Use this.” He pulled off his hoodie and tossed it at me.
Um…what now? “You want me to use your hoodie as toilet paper? That’s a bit extreme. Don’t you have something…smaller?”
He shrugged.
Okay, fine. This was happening. I didn’t have time to overthink it or I’d pee myself.
I stumbled out of the car with his hoodie in my hand and ran through the corn stalks until I was a safe distance away from the road and any prying eyes.
I dropped my pants and squatted down just in time to not pee all over myself.
I sighed. I felt so much better. But I really wished I’d had a pen and paper to try to leave a note to the farmhands that I was being kidnapped and needed help. And then I started laughing. I started laughing and I couldn’t stop. What the fuck was my life?
I was about to wipe with Miller’s hoodie, but then thought better of it. The corn stalks were dry and sad. I was pretty sure they were harvested in the summer, not the fall. So I looked around and grabbed a leaf. I quickly wiped and pulled up my pants.
Whenever I saw Matt again we could laugh about this. I was pretty sure he’d find it hilarious. Rob definitely would. God, I really missed my friends. The cool autumn wind blew and I pulled Miller’s hoodie on.
Part of me wanted to turn around and just keep running through the corn stalks. To get as far away from my dad as possible. I looked off into the distance at the woods. But I’d never do that to Miller. I shook my head and retreated back to the SUV.
Miller eyed me as I climbed back in the car.
“What?”
“Did you…use that to wipe and then put it on?”
I started laughing again. “No. I was resourceful.”
He started laughing too. “I have no idea what you mean by that. Did you wipe with an ear of corn?”
“No.” I lightly shoved his shoulder.
He winced and I pulled back.
“I’m so sorry. I…” Oh my God. He was only wearing a t-shirt now. There were deep cuts and bruises all over his arms.
“It’s okay. It was worth seeing you laugh.”
I forced a smile back onto my face.
He cleared his throat. “I called your dad and got directions. We should probably get back on the road.”
“Here, let me give this back…” I started to pull off his hoodie but he caught my arm.
“No, keep it. I’m overheated. And it looks better on you anyway.”
Before I could respond, he pulled the car back on the road.
I was happy he wasn’t hiding his scars from me anymore. I was even happier that the smell of his cologne was on the hoodie. I felt myself sinking into my seat, surrounded by the warmth of the hoodie. It was like a big Miller hug.
“Are you sniffing my hoodie?” he asked.
“What? No.” I pulled the front of it down, away from my face.
We were both quiet for a long time. We eventually pulled back onto I-95, driving down the highway.
“I missed you too, you know,” he finally said, breaking the silence.
I looked over at him. His eyes were still trained on the road.
I guess wanting to smell his cologne probably was confession enough on my side.
I slid my hand onto the center console. I wasn’t sure what I was reaching for.
A peace offering? Was I just desperate for physical comfort in the form of his hand? Or was it more?
He slid his hand into mine.
I stared down at his hand. It wasn’t mine to hold. And yet…I didn’t want to let go.