Runaway - Chapter 42
I wandered into the spare bedroom. The one where all the moving boxes were. I only ever went in here if I was looking for something in particular to wear. But I knew there were more than just clothes in here.
I moved a few boxes, searching through the contents until I found what I was looking for.
I sat down with the pictures on my lap. I didn’t have much left from my time in New York.
These were mostly pictures my dad had given me.
Pictures I’d thought weren’t true. Even though the proof was right in front of me.
Matt was smiling at the camera, his arm draped around some girl I didn’t recognize.
Tears pooled in my eyes, remembering how it felt to be on the opposite end of that smile. Remembering what it felt like to be his, before everything broke. But this wasn’t why I was in here. I sifted through the pictures until I found what I was looking for.
After all these years, I still had it. Matt, Mason, James, and Rob were young in this picture.
It was summer and they were all laughing.
James had let me take it from his treehouse years ago.
The same day he’d proposed to me. I laughed through my tears.
How different my life would have been if I’d said yes to that.
To the sad boy who frowned more than he smiled.
He played it off like he was kidding. But I was pretty sure he’d been serious.
His parents had wanted him to marry a Pruitt.
I really hoped he’d had a better future than that.
But I wasn’t looking at this picture because of James.
I wiped the tears from my eyes as I stared at all four boys.
I loved one. The other three I had thought were my friends.
I’d told Matt I wanted four kids. I wanted four boys so that they could be like the boys smiling in this picture.
The best of friends. Were the four of them friends now?
My dad had made it seem like they reconnected.
I hoped that they had. I wanted all four of them to be as happy as they were as children on a summer’s day by the pool.
I’d dreamed of that future.
And in a weird, twisted way, I’d kept my promises to Matt.
Miller and I hadn’t walked down the aisle yet.
It was impossible to do it as ourselves.
But ever since his 30 th birthday, we’d acted like a married couple.
Hell, we’d been acting like a married couple for a lot longer than that.
Even though I hadn’t said ‘I do’ I’d been acting like I had.
Not acting. That wasn’t the right word. Because I wasn’t acting. I loved Miller with my whole heart.
But I’d only ever given Miller what I’d given Matt. My body. My heart. A promise of the future.
I’d promised Matt all my firsts. And I hadn’t given any new ones to Miller.
Until now.
I’d missed my period.
Not just once.
I’d missed it two months in a row.
I knew I was pregnant. I hadn’t taken a test, but I could feel myself changing. I was certainly more emotional.
I wiped the tears away from my cheeks as I stared down at the Caldwell and Hunter brothers. That was the future I thought I wanted. I was crying partially because I was sad. But I was crying because I was happy too. I was so blissfully happy.
I’d broken a promise to Matt now. This was a first. Probably the biggest first of all. My first child. And I was…relieved. I was excited. I hadn’t thought much at all about getting pregnant. But now that I was? I wanted it. I wanted this baby. I wanted Miller’s baby.
Matt had probably had a million firsts with someone new. I touched his smiling face in the picture. I hoped he was happy with whoever he was with. I hoped he was having those summers surrounded by children like we’d dreamed of together.
I put my hand on my stomach. It was like breaking this first broke some kind of wall in my heart. Miller was going to have the rest of my firsts. He was my future. Our baby was our future.
I put the picture back in the box and closed the lid. Now I just had to figure out a way to tell him.