Runaway - Chapter 55
Jacob barged into our room and jumped on our bed. “I’m hungry,” he said and nestled in between us. “I want pancakes.”
“Sweet boy, it’s too early,” I said with a yawn.
“No. The sun is out.”
I blinked and turned toward the window. The sun was streaming fiercely through the blinds. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and it was blinking. Shit. I sat up and lightly shook Miller. “Miller, the storm must have knocked out the power.”
He groaned in his sleep, somehow having not been woken up by Jacob running in and jumping on him. “What?” he yawned.
“The storm last night.” I reached over him and grabbed his watch off the nightstand. “It’s past 8!” Shit. There was no way I’d be able to have all the baked goods ready for my normal noon drop off. I was hours behind my schedule.
“Crap,” he said and sat up.
“Daddy said a bad word!” Jacob said.
“Yeah, don’t say that word,” Miller said and ruffled Jacob’s hair. “I gotta run. I’m late for work.”
This was not a good start to the day. We were going to double piss off Alice, first with Miller coming in late and then me dropping off the desserts really late this afternoon. “I should have been half done baking for the day by now.” I scrambled out of bed.
Miller was already pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
“I’m hungry,” Jacob said again. “Can I go to work with Daddy today? I want his pancakes.”
I was going to be frantic the rest of the morning trying to bake at twice my usual speed, which of course wasn’t possible. If Jacob wanted to sit around the kitchen at the restaurant for hours instead of stealing cookies from me, that was fine. “Yeah, you can go with Daddy.”
“Yay!” He jumped off the bed and ran toward the door.
“You have to wear a shirt!” I yelled after him.
Miller laughed.
“Will you tell Alice I’m running a bit late today?”
“No problem.” Miller gave me a quick kiss and we both hurried out of the bedroom.
I turned on the oven and started pulling out ingredients from the fridge and pantry. I’d been planning on trying a new recipe today, but I’d have to push that off.
I watched as Jacob opened the front door, shirtless.
“Jacob, your shirt!”
He held up a shirt that was balled up in his fist. “I have it.”
“I need you to put that on.”
“No.”
“Listen to your mother, champ,” Miller said and joined Jacob at the front door. He turned back to me. “Your car is blocking me in, Brooklyn.”
Shoot. “I’ll move it. One sec.” I placed a bag of flour down on the counter a little too hard and a billow of flour burst into the air, covering my face. I coughed and waved my hand through the air.
I didn’t even see Miller as he grabbed me around the waist. “It’s okay, I’ll move your car,” he said, pulling me close. “You look adorable when you’re covered in flour.”
I laughed because I knew that couldn’t possibly be true.
He pushed some of my hair out of my face and kissed me.
“Miller, there’s no time for kissing! You’re already late,” I said, but I couldn’t help but smile when his lips met mine again.
“Alice won’t care.”
I hated being late for things, but honestly Miller was right. We’d had late starts to our days before. Like a few months ago when Jacob caught that nasty cold.
Miller gave me one last kiss and then grabbed the keys to my car off the key hook. “I’ll move your car. But I need your help wrassling Jacob into his shirt if he’s gonna come with me.”
“No,” Jacob said again.
I laughed because it was all I could do.
The stress of the morning had been moments away from making me crack.
But Miller was always able to easily remind me to calm down.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d had a panic attack.
And it certainly wasn’t worth it over delivering cookies an hour late.
Miller laughed too as Jacob threw his shirt on the ground and sprinted outside.
“That little menace,” I said.
“So much like his mother.”
“I’m wearing a shirt.”
“If I recall correctly, you weren’t last night.”
I lightly swatted at his butt before he started backing away.
“Think you can get him in his shirt in under thirty seconds?” Miller asked.
“Oh, challenge accepted.” I grabbed the shirt off the ground and ran outside.
Jacob was doing his Indian war cry as he jumped around the front yard. Which meant this was not going to be easy.
“Sweet boy, let’s get you into this shirt.”
He ran farther into the yard, away from the driveway. “But I’m an Indian today.”
“No you are not.”
“Yes I am.” He started his war cry again. “Oh, oh, oh, oh.”
Miller was already getting into my car to move it. I did not have much time to succeed at this challenge. Ten seconds at the most.
“Oh, oh, oh, oh,” Jacob chanted as he danced around.
I laughed and knelt down in front of Jacob. “I’ll make a deal with you. Let me put this shirt on you, but as soon as you get in the car you can take it off, okay?” I was not past bribery here. I probably only had five seconds…
“But I don’t want to, Mommy.”
Four seconds.
“Sweet boy…”
Three seconds.
“No,” he said.
Two seconds.
“You can have extra dessert tonight.”
One second.
Jacob’s eyes grew round. “Deal. Extra cuppycakes.” He put his arms above his head.
“That’s my boy.” But before I even lifted his shirt, the earth shook as a huge boom echoed around us. The blast threw me and Jacob to the ground.
All I could hear was a loud ringing in my ears. And I couldn’t see anything. What the hell was that?! I wiped the dirt out of my eyes and looked to make sure Jacob was okay. He was crying, but I couldn’t hear him through the ringing in my ears.
“Jacob!” I wasn’t sure if I was yelling or not, but he didn’t register my words.
I blinked again and cradled his face in my hands. Even though he was crying he looked unharmed. We’d fallen in the soft grass. My eyes scanned the rest of him. I didn’t see a single scratch on him, but he wasn’t making eye contact with me.
“Jacob!” I said again trying to make sure he was okay.
And then I smelled it. Smoke. And I saw the reflection in Jacob’s eyes. He wasn’t looking at me because he was looking at what was behind me. Fire.
I turned to look over my shoulder.
No.
“No!” I yelled, but still heard nothing but the ringing in my ears.
My car was engulfed in flames. The same car that Miller had just sat down in. Smoke and debris everywhere.
“Miller,” I choked. “Miller!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, while still holding on to Jacob.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
There was another loud blast that somehow made it through the ringing in my ears as the roof of the car peeled back.
“Miller!” I didn’t know how I got to the car.
I didn’t remember letting go of Jacob. Or running over here.
But I was reaching out for the door handle, I could feel the heat on my skin before I even made contact with the handle.
And still I reached out. “Miller!” But before I could wrap my hand around the handle, the door fell off its hinges.
The smoldering air escaped the car and threw me back, my elbows skidding across the pavement.
The smell of blood swirled around with the smoke and dust.
“Miller.” I wasn’t screaming anymore. All I could see were flames. I didn’t see my husband. I couldn’t see my husband. “Miller,” I sobbed. “Miller.” The car blurred in front of me. “Miller.” All I could see were flames. The heat on my face. The smell of burning. The smell of death. “Miller.”
I pushed myself up and ran back to the car. I saw Miller through the flames then. Or…what was left of him. Slumped over the steering wheel.
No. All I could smell now was the burnt flesh. It was like I could taste it in my mouth. Death. The smell of death all around me, suffocating me.
I tried to reach into the car but twisted metal and debris were in the way. “Miller!”
He didn’t move. He didn’t respond at all. And I knew there was nothing left in him to respond. He wasn’t there. I felt it in my bones. He wasn’t with me anymore. He was gone.
No. My tears burned my eyes and I tried to reach into the car again.
My forearm hit one of the bent pieces of metal and it scorched my skin.
I screamed and for the first time I could hear myself through the ringing in my ears. Broken sobs ripped through my chest. “Miller!” I screamed. No.
He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t. I needed him. “Miller.”
I needed him.
“Miller,” I choked.
I don’t know how I ended up on the ground again. But I knew I was kneeling there, because Jacob grabbed both sides of my face, his little hands spreading my tears on my cheeks. His tear-stained eyes finding mine. “Mommy,” he said in an eerily calm voice. “Go bags.”
Go bags. Oh God. Oh God.
My father had found us.
He’d made good on his promise.
Miller was never supposed to touch me.
I screamed at the top of my lungs. Like I’d screamed on the beach all those times. Like I’d screamed a few months ago when I couldn’t get pregnant. But I screamed louder.
Because this felt worse than losing my mom.
Worse than losing my uncle.
Worse than losing my life back in New York.
This was losing everything.
My heart.
My soul.
My home.
I’d lost loved ones before. And it always felt like my heart was breaking. But this time was different. This time my heart was burning. Like my chest was on fire. Scorched, never to beat again. No pieces to put back together. It was gone. A piece of me died in that car with Miller.
But it was like I could hear Miller’s voice in my ear.
Run.
Run, kid.
So I grabbed Jacob, holding him as tightly to me as I could, and I ran.