Homecoming - Chapter 40
Saturday
Brooklyn
I thought about going to the restrooms, but the line was a mile long. So I kept running. And running. Until I reached the doors of Empire High.
I flung one open and ran inside.
And I was hit with more memories.
Everything was almost exactly the same.
I felt this fear in my chest about Isabella.
I remembered my uncle’s smile.
I remembered laughing with Kennedy and Felix.
I remembered holding Matt’s hand. Kissing him. Loving him. God, I’d loved that boy so much.
I kept running.
And I had no idea why, but I ran into the auditorium. The door closed behind me with a thud and darkness surrounded me.
Matt had kissed me here. He’d stolen my first kiss. The same way he’d stolen my heart.
And I’d tried to forget about him. I’d tried so fucking hard. And for a while I had. I thought I was over him. But as soon as I’d seen him, it had felt like a knife was in my chest. Like he’d just forgotten about me all over again.
I’d fallen in love with him when I was broken. I’d just lost my mom. And then I lost Uncle Jim too. I’d been so lost.
And in this stupid way I thought he’d saved me.
And I didn’t understand how I could still feel this way.
Because I’d loved Miller. I’d loved him with my whole heart.
Miller told me I was strong.
But I didn’t feel strong. I felt like a fucking mess. I was standing in an empty auditorium crying my eyes out over two men. Tanner’s words echoed around me. “You had it twice. You’re one of the lucky ones. And yes, you lost it. But only once. Matt never forgot about you, Brooklyn.”
I was the only one who recounted things differently with Matt. Did that mean I was wrong? Really wrong about everything that happened?
What if he had been unhappy?
What if he had waited for me for 16 years?
What if he did still love me?
I just want you to be happy. And safe. And I want the same for Jacob. This isn’t easy for me to say, but I need you to know that I’m okay if you choose him now. Because I never want you to stop smiling.
How was I supposed to keep smiling when I was drowning? I didn’t know how to keep going. I wasn’t strong enough.
The auditorium door swung open, leaving a trail of light for one moment.
Matt was standing there. For just one second our eyes locked. Before the door closed and there was only darkness.