Exposed - Chapter 7
Saturday
Matt
I needed to talk to the Brooklyn I knew. The one I talked to more often than I liked to admit. A few days ago, I’d said goodbye to her. I thought I was ready to move on. But I was as stuck as ever. Stuck on her. Stuck in a relationship with the dead.
I walked up toward her grave and froze.
Brooklyn was standing there, staring at her own tombstone.
Her hair blew in the wind. But otherwise she was completely still.
I watched her as my eyes adjusted to the darkness.
And I realized she wasn’t staring at her grave at all.
She was staring down at a rose in her hand. One of the last flowers I’d left.
The way the moonlight was hitting her, she still looked like a ghost. But I’d rather spend a lifetime staring at a living, breathing Brooklyn than talking to a dead Brooklyn. Even if this Brooklyn wasn’t mine.
My chest ached as I watched her.
Why had she left?
Why had she come back?
Where the fuck had she been for 16 years?
But I wasn’t even sure those were the questions that mattered. As I stared at her, I could tell she was crying. And I just really wanted to know if she was okay. Because I wasn’t. I really fucking wasn’t okay.
She used to come to me when she cried. I used to be the one that comforted her. It wasn’t my place now. But I couldn’t just stand here as she cried. I took a step forward, my foot crunching on a twig.
She spun around and her tear stained eyes locked with mine.
“Brooklyn.” I said her name like I always did. Like she was mine, and I was hers.
“Matt.” Her voice cracked.
I wasn’t sure who moved first. But suddenly she was running toward me. She jumped into my arms, straddling my waist. She let her head fall to my shoulder and I felt the wetness of her tears through my shirt. But I didn’t move. I just held her.
God, it felt so good to have her back in my arms. It was like we were opposite ends of a magnet. And we couldn’t stay away. But we both knew that wasn’t true. Yes, she was clinging to me now. But she’d stayed away pretty damn well for half a lifetime.
I didn’t say a word as I breathed her in. For a second I let myself not care that she was married to someone else.
Maybe her husband didn’t make her happy.
Maybe he was a monster.
Maybe she wanted out.
But I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to say anything. The silence had always been comfortable for us. Even more so now. Because all I cared about was that she was breathing.
I wanted that to be enough. And maybe it was. My chest didn’t hurt as much when she was in my arms. I was pretty sure I was just scared to break the silence though. Because as soon as I did…she’d pull away from me. She’d remember that we were no longer an us.
I think she was scared to break the silence too.
And I needed to get this off my chest, just in case I didn’t get another chance. “I didn’t mean it,” I said.
She lifted her head off my shoulder to stare at me.
I smiled. I could finally remember the hue of her eyes.
“You were right, Matt. I’m not the girl you knew.”
I shook my head. “I wasn’t talking about what I said earlier today.
But I didn’t mean that either.” Well…I wasn’t sure.
She was wearing a wedding ring. But she was in my arms. I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
“I was talking about what I said on Thanksgiving 16 years ago. I’ve regretted my last words to you every day since then.
You’re not a liar, Brooklyn. I know you were just trying to get my friends and me to make up.
And you’re nothing like Isabella. You’re the love of my life.
I thought you died thinking that I hated you.
And it killed me. It felt like I was drowning every day without you.
And Brooklyn…it couldn’t have been further from the truth. I’ve only ever loved you.”
She tried to blink away her tears. “But Kennedy…”
“Kennedy and I broke up.”
“What?”
“I’ll say this as many times as it takes for you to hear. You’re the love of my life. And I’ve only ever loved you.”
“Matt…”
“I don’t care that you’re married. It doesn’t change how I feel.
I don’t know where you’ve been for 16 years.
I don’t know why you’re here now. Maybe it was just so I could tell you that.
That I’m sorry. That I tried my best to keep my promises to you.
And I know that this moment is fleeting.
I know you have to go back to him. But can we please just stay like this for another few minutes?
” I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to go back to remembering a ghost. I couldn’t go back.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’m not married.”
I just stared at her. “You’re not?”
“No. Not…not anymore.”
She wasn’t married. It hurt that she’d gotten married to someone else at all. But my chest already ached a little less just knowing she wasn’t with someone else right now. She was back in New York. She’d run into my arms. She’d cried on my shoulder. She was still mine. I leaned forward to kiss her.
But she turned her lips away from me.
I kissed her tearstained cheek anyway.
She closed her eyes like it pained her.
“Brooklyn, look at me.” I kissed the side of her neck. “Look at me.”
She didn’t turn her head. If anything she closed her eyes tighter.
“Brooklyn?”
“We need to talk. About everything.” She unwrapped her legs from around my waist and put her feet back on the ground. “Can we maybe…” her voice trailed off as she looked back at her own grave. “Not here.”
I grabbed her hand. We walked in silence down to my car.
I opened the passenger side door for her and she climbed in.
I sat down in the driver’s seat, but I didn’t put my keys in the ignition.
When I thought of Brooklyn I thought of Central Park.
I thought of Empire High. But those were good memories.
And I had a feeling that whatever she was about to say wasn’t good.
I didn’t know where to drive. If this was goodbye, I didn’t want to taint the places that made me feel close to her.
I still needed somewhere to go when it felt like my heart needed her. Please don’t say goodbye to me.
She turned in her seat and stared at me. I think she felt it too. That this conversation was meant to be buried here with the dead.
“Did you leave all those flowers on my grave?” She was still holding the yellow rose.
I nodded. “Kennedy may have left a few too. But…yeah. I visit you all the time.”
She pressed her lips together. “I don’t understand.”
“Why I visited? I think you just like hearing me say this… You’re the love of my life. And I’ve only ever loved you.”
She shook her head like she didn’t believe it. “Just let…let me get this out, okay?”
I reached out and grabbed her hand. I didn’t know how to not touch her.
She squeezed my hand back. “My father stole my kidney,” she said. “Apparently I signed something giving him permission to do it. I don’t know. I never read that stupid contract. But I was feeling so low when it happened. Kennedy and I were fighting. And you…you said…”
“I know.” She didn’t have to say it again. I’d called her a liar. I’d told her she was like Isabella. I was a fucking asshole.
“Everyone hated me. I thought my dad was the last person who still loved me and then…he just used me. For spare parts. When I woke up after the surgery, I was freaking out. I told him I wanted out of his house. And he thought that meant I wanted to leave the city. I didn’t. I still loved you, Matt.”
Loved. Past tense. I kept my hand in hers, hoping she wouldn’t let go.
“But he…he made me go anyway. He locked me in this weird white room for a while. And then he sent me to live at a beach house. He said that everyone thought I was dead. That there was a funeral and everything. A ploy to keep me safe from Isabella. He said Isabella was planning on killing me. And I was scared of that. But I was also scared of my dad. And I was scared because my dad also made it very clear that if I somehow got away, he’d kill my bodyguard. ”
Matt shook his head. “Your bodyguard? But I saw him that Friday. He answered the door and he was crying. He…”
“That must have been Donnelley. Miller was the one with me.” Her bottom lip trembled when she said his name. “You came for me on Friday?”
“Brooklyn, I never should have left you that night. I never should have said what I said. But I needed time to cool off. I tried to call you the next morning and you didn’t answer. I came over to your dad’s house right away and he said you’d…he said you died in surgery.”
She looked down at our intertwined hands. “Is that when you asked for it back?”
“Asked for what back?”
“Your aunt’s ring.”
“What?” I shook my head. “I didn’t ask for the ring back.”
She stared at me. “My dad said that you asked for it back right away. That you still wanted to get married one day.”
“No.” Was this a sick joke? “Your father broke the news to me and forced the ring into my hand. He told me that you would have wanted me to have it back. And after your funeral, I came here and buried it next to your tombstone. So that it would be with you.”
There were tears in her eyes again. “Really?”
“Really.” I’d dug up the ring recently. Hoping it would somehow feel like getting my heart back.
But it felt more like fate tonight. Like the universe somehow knew I’d need it again soon.
That Brooklyn was coming back to me. That she was coming home.
The ring was still getting cleaned at the jewelry store.
But I’d have it back soon. It belonged with Brooklyn.
It always had. And she wasn’t married to someone else.
Which meant we still had a future. We had to.
“My dad said you didn’t speak at my funeral either. That you said everything you needed to the last time you saw me.”
Now I was the one with tears in my eyes. “Not a chance in hell, Brooklyn. I regretted what I said. And I…” I felt like I was choking on my words. “I read my wedding vows to you at your funeral.”
“Oh, Matt.” She started sobbing now.
I pulled her across the center console and onto my lap. I cradled her face in my hands. “I’d never felt so broken. I still feel broken.”
She nodded. “Me too. I missed you so much. I was so lost. But my father convinced me that everyone was happier without me.”
“Brooklyn that wasn’t…”
“He told me those lies about the ring. About you not speaking at my funeral. And he showed me pictures. Of you with other girls. Of all the Untouchables as friends again. Of Kennedy and Felix laughing. I thought…I thought you all forgot about me.” She was barely getting the words out.
“That you were all happier that I was gone. I thought you were glad I was dead.”
I wiped away her tears with my thumbs. “Your death killed me, Brooklyn. It felt like I’d died too. For 16 years, I’ve felt like as much of a ghost as you.”
She shook her head. “Then why didn’t you answer my dad’s texts? I’d convinced him to tell you the truth. I…” her voice trailed off. “I don’t understand.”
I winced. Fuck. Was that really what Mr. Pruitt had been texting me about all these years?
“I was furious with your father. I knew you didn’t agree to give him your kidney.
I thought he’d murdered you. When you died…
it felt like I’d lost everything. You. Our future that we dreamed of.
The life I wanted. And I didn’t want anything to do with him.
I came here every day to mourn you and I never once saw him.
It was like he didn’t care that you died at all.
” Which made sense now. Because she wasn’t dead.
“And I hated him. I still fucking hate him. He stole you from me…”
She leaned down and kissed me. And it felt like coming home. Her father had kept her locked up. Or she would have come back to me. She’d never forgotten. She’d never stopped loving me.
I buried my fingers in her hair. I had no idea how I’d coped with the pain of losing her. This was the only way I felt better. With her on top of me. It was like she alone could take away my pain.