Forever - Chapter 30 #2
Someone must have been burning leaves nearby because the smell of fall was everywhere when we walked outside.
Matt opened the car door for me before getting Jacob situated in the back seat.
The heat was turned up full blast, but it was still chilly.
I would have been lying to myself if this smell and this temperature hadn’t reminded me of Matt over the years.
I smiled as Matt pulled away from the curb.
Soon the city would be decorated for Christmas.
I’d never seen the city in winter before.
And I couldn’t wait to see everything lit up even more.
I couldn’t wait to spend every season with this man.
“I love seeing you this happy,” Matt said.
How could I not be happy? My 16-year-old self dreamed of this day just as much as my 32-year-old self. “I love you.”
Matt smiled as he paid attention to the traffic.
It didn’t take us long to get to Tanner’s apartment. I looked out the window. “This looks very fancy.”
“Because it’s a castle!” Jacob said.
I smiled. “I can’t wait to see it. Grab the swords!”
“Got ‘em, Mommy.”
I held Matt’s hand and Jacob’s hand as we walked toward the apartment. A doorman opened the door for us, welcoming us in from the cold.
Matt dropped my hand and pulled an envelope out of his inside suit pocket. He handed it to the doorman. “Happy Thanksgiving,” he said.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” the doorman said with a big smile.
“What did you give him?” I asked as we stepped in front of the elevator.
“Oh.” Matt shrugged like it was nothing. “Just a little present.”
“What kind of present?”
He scratched the back of his neck. “When I visited your um…grave,” he whispered so Jacob didn’t hear.
“I used to see your uncle’s grave too. And it always reminded me of how I never really knew him until you.
His job was important. And I just treated him like he was invisible.
So I don’t want anyone who I come in contact with to ever feel that way.
I was living here for a while. I know the doorman.
And I wanted to make sure to thank him.”
Tears were welling in my eyes again. “Uncle Jim would have really loved you doing that for people.” I couldn’t think of a better way to honor him.
Matt smiled down at me.
The elevator doors dinged open and Jacob jumped back. “Nunca,” he said.
“Sweet boy, Tanner lives at the very top of this building.” I couldn’t walk up all these steps in heels. “Let’s just give the elevator a try.”
“Nooooo,” Jacob said and took another step back.
“I have an idea,” Matt said. “How about you close your eyes and count to 100?”
“I don’t know how to count to 100.”
Matt and I looked at each other. “You go on up,” he said. “I’ll take the stairs with Jacob.”
“It’s so many stairs,” I said. “Jacob, maybe…”
“I want my abuelo,” he said. “He never makes me get in those.” He pointed one of his sticks at the elevator.
“Tanner is busy getting ready…”
“But I neeeeed him,” Jacob said. “Pleeeeeease.”
I could never say no to that. I looked at Matt and nodded.
“Okay, I’m going to go get Tanner then,” Matt said. “Unless you want to go up?” he asked me.
“You go ahead. We’ll wait here.”
Matt stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed behind him.
“Jacob, there’s nothing scary about elevators. They help you get from one place to another quicker.”
“I’m not in a hurry,” he said.
I smiled. “And they’re kind of fun. It’s like…a ride.”
Jacob shrugged. “Like at the carnival?”
Miller and I had taken him to a carnival once about a year ago. But we’d left pretty quickly because I was paranoid that I’d felt someone watching us. Well…not paranoid. Someone probably had been. Jacob hadn’t gotten a chance to get on a ride.
“Yes, like the carnival,” I said.
Jacob shook his head. “I didn’t want to ride those rides. And I don’t want to go in the elevator.”
“Okay, sweet boy. But it’s always good to try something at least once.”
“Not if you know you don’t like it.”
“Hmm.” He did kind of have a point. But I really needed him to start riding elevators.
The doors dinged open and Tanner walked out. He was wearing a dark suit with stitches that glimmered slightly in the bright light down here.
“Stop checking me out, woman,” he said. “We’ve been over this. I can’t date my best friend’s girl.”
I laughed. “I wasn’t. But I do like your suit.”
“Thank you. And you look beautiful, as always.” He turned to Jacob. “Hey, little man.” He held up his hand.
Jacob high fived him. “I want you to do the magic thing! So I don’t have to go on that.” He pointed his stick at the elevators again.
“Right,” Tanner said. “The stairs. Yup, we can do that.”
“Nooooo,” Jacob said. “The magic portal to your castle.”
Tanner laughed and looked at me. “Kids and their imaginations,” he said.
“But, Abuelo…”
“You go on ahead, Brooklyn,” Tanner said. “We’ll see you in a few minutes after taking the stairs.”
Jacob scrunched his mouth to the side as he stared up at Tanner.
Tanner really was good at playing make-believe with Jacob. I stepped toward the elevator.
“Oh and Brooklyn?” Tanner said and caught my wrist. “If you need to talk at all tonight, I’m here.”
I nodded. I knew. Tanner was the easiest person to talk to about loss. Because he’d lost someone too.
“And about your dad,” he said and let his hand fall from my wrist. “I tried everything. I know his boat is getting the transmissions. I don’t know why he hasn’t responded.”
My father was getting Tanner’s messages? And just…didn’t care? I knew my face fell.
Tanner cleared his throat. “Or maybe he’s not. Maybe he…” Tanner shrugged. “I don’t know, Brooklyn.”
“It’s okay.” I forced a smile onto my face. “I really appreciate you trying. And we already have a pretty great abuelo here, don’t we, Jacob?”
“The best abuelo,” Jacob said.
Tanner smiled. “Thanks, little man.”
I oddly wanted to burst into tears. So I quickly got onto the elevator. “I’ll see you two up there. Have fun taking the stairs.”
“We’re not taking the stairs, Mommy,” Jacob said.
Tanner laughed. “Kids,” he said again.
Jacob sighed. “Abuelo’s being silly.”
“Abuelo is being silly,” I said.
Tanner laughed again. “See you up there.” He picked Jacob up as the doors slid closed.
I took a deep breath. My father wasn’t coming to my wedding. I probably should have realized that as the wedding got closer and closer. But I’d still been holding out hope. I took another deep breath as the doors slid open.
“What’s wrong?” Matt asked as soon as he saw me.
“Am I that easy to read?”
“I know when you’re upset.” He pulled me off the elevator and into his arms.
“My dad isn’t coming. Tanner said he got messages through but that my dad didn’t respond. And I know you’re not upset about him not coming…”
“I’m upset if you’re upset.”
I pressed the side of my face against Matt’s chest. The letters I’d found made me think my father truly loved me. But him ignoring an invitation to my wedding didn’t feel great. It was possible he hadn’t seen the messages though.
It felt like the letters all over again. My mom had never seen any of them. Maybe that’s what was happening here. “Just because Tanner got messages to my dad’s boat doesn’t mean my father saw them though.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Matt said. “I know your dad would be here if he knew he was wanted.”
I nodded. My dad wanted to be part of our lives. That I knew for sure. I took another deep breath. “Let’s just be happy.”
Matt smiled down at me. “Oh, I’m very happy. I’m marrying you tomorrow.”
I laughed. “Come on, let’s get inside.”
He put his arm around my shoulders and guided me toward the bridge.
Wait, what? “Why is there a moat here?” I shook my head. Wrong question. “ How is there a moat here?” No wonder Jacob thought this was a castle.