Stalker Problems - Chapter 23 - Two Rude Surprises
We went straight from work back to my apartment to stalk my stalker. I didn’t even bother to change out of Chastity’s slutty clothes before plopping onto the couch with my laptop. I couldn’t wait another second to learn everything about my stalker.
I started by googling Tanner Rhodes.
The first result was a Wikipedia article. Fancy. I clicked on it. There was no picture and only one sentence:
“Tanner Rhodes is an American billionaire businessman from New York City.”
I read it again. Billionaire. With a B. I couldn’t even imagine that much money. Chastity had said he was a billionaire, but I didn’t realize she meant he was for-realsies a billionaire. I thought she was just throwing out the highest number she could think of and had forgotten the word bajillion.
Just to confirm, I went back and clicked on the second link, Tanner’s profile on Forbes:
#413 Tanner Rhodes
Net Worth: $4.3B
- Tanner Rhodes is the founder and chairman of Rhodes Venture Capital, a private investment firm based in New York City.
- Rhodes VC is most notable for being an early investor in Tesla and Shopify, which is where the bulk of Rhodes’ net worth is derived.
STATS:
Age - 28 (estimated)
Source of Wealth - Rhodes Venture Capital, Self-Made
Residence - New York, New York
Citizenship - United States
Marital Status - Unknown
Children - Unknown
Education - Unknown
Unknown, unknown, unknown. Gah! What kind of shoddy operation were they running over at Forbes?
Their whole purpose in life was to know about rich people, and they didn’t even know where Tanner went to college?
Hell, they weren’t even sure about his age.
No wonder the owner of Forbes wasn’t even a billionaire…
he sucked at his job. They needed to hire better stalkers.
Or journalists. Or whatever politically correct term they were going by these days.
I did a quick Google search to make sure that the owner of Forbes really wasn’t a billionaire.
Boom. Steve Forbes’ net worth was only $430 million.
Million! What a complete and utter loser.
The small sum in my bank account started to wander into my thoughts but I kicked it back where it belonged.
In the toilet. Because all the money I had would literally fit in a toilet.
Anyway, back to Tanner. The only thing of real value in the whole article was the picture of him. But it was kind of blurry. Classic Forbes. So incompetent.
“Booyah, found a picture of him,” I said.
“For real?” asked Chastity. “I’ve been looking for weeks now and haven’t been able to find a thing. The guy is a ghost on social media.”
“It was on the second search result.”
“Oh, the Forbes one? I never look at that. That website is trash.”
“I know, right?”
We both laughed.
“Send me that real quick,” said Madison. A minute later she turned her laptop for us to see. She’d transferred the picture into MS Paint and sketched a man bun onto him. “Does that look more like Ryder?”
I shook my head. “Uh, not really.”
Chastity lit up. “Boom. That’s proof that Tanner’s not the same person as Ryder. The sex muffin billionaire is mine!”
“I mean…she used MS Paint to draw that,” I said. “Cool your loins, woman.”
“Well right now that’s about the only evidence we have to go on.”
“Then let me get back to work.” I tuned her out and went back to searching.
All real estate transactions were public records, so all it took was a few quick searches on the NYC Department of Finance website and I had the names of every person who owned an apartment in One57.
Er…kind of. It was more like a list of LLCs that owned apartments in One57.
Apparently billionaires weren’t fond of their addresses being publicly available.
Steve Forbes, on the other hand, probably didn’t even know what an LLC was. Stupid millionaire. Such a basic bitch.
I almost gave up on the real estate angle, but then I realized that as the official marketers of Rhodes VC, we had just gained access to lots of private files. Including a list of all the businesses they owned. I cross-referenced that list with the list of One57 owners.
“Got him!” I yelled.
“Bullshit,” said Chastity.
“Tanner Rhodes is the proud owner of apartment 89 at One57. Which means he’s my stalker.”
“Or it means that they’re twins and Tanner’s been kind enough to buy his little brother a baller-ass apartment.”
“That’s a solid theory,” agreed Madison.
“What? No it isn’t. And why is Ryder his little brother? I thought they were twins in this scenario.”
“One still has to come out first,” said Chastity. “And it was definitely Tanner.”
“Maybe this will help to clear it up,” said Madison. She pointed to an Instagram picture on her laptop of some beautiful model posing at a party.
“Uh…how will that help us?” I asked. “Is that an escort we can hire to get all his secrets?”
“No,” said Madison. “And way to judge her just because of her looks. Evie Martin’s not a prostitute. She’s a successful businesswoman.”
“And that helps us how, exactly?”
Madison rolled her eyes. “She’s Tanner’s personal assistant. You literally met her like four hours ago.”
I did? I guess there had been a girl by Tanner’s side, but I didn’t remember her looking like that . Because she’d been dressed professionally, unlike me. I looked down at my outfit and cringed.
“If you’d stop slut-shaming her for two seconds and opened your eyes, you’d see that Tanner is in the background of lots of her photos. Single Girl Rule #26: Slut-shaming a fellow single girl is unforgivable.”
That was the only Single Girl Rule Madison ever quoted. I was trying to get Chastity to dump that rule, but she always insisted she hadn’t made them up. Lies. I squinted and got closer to the screen. It was hard to be sure, but a guy in the background did kind of look like Tanner.
“What’s he doing going to parties with his PA?” I asked. Images of Joe banging Sierra flashed through my mind. And then they morphed into Tanner and Evie. “They’re probably having sex. I hate Tanner. He’s dead to me. He’s basically just like Joe.”
“Well that seems a bit extreme,” said Chastity. “Tanner is nothing like Joe.”
Madison made a gross noise with her throat. “All men are the worst.”
Chastity zoomed up on Evie’s hand in the picture. “Well she’s not wearing a ring. So even if they are banging, he hasn’t proposed yet.”
Madison stood up. “Now that you guys are over Tanner, what should we do?”
“Uh, did you miss the part about him being a billionaire?” asked Chastity.
“So what?” asked Madison. “We don’t need to rely on men for money. We’re all strong, beautiful, independent women.”
“Psssh,” scoffed Chastity. “You don’t know what you’re missing. Having Daddy’s credit card was the best thing ever.”
Was. Chastity grew up rich, but her dad lost all his money in bad real estate.
Her fancy apartment, fancy clothes, and fancy lifestyle had gone poof overnight.
I knew she missed it. But she was being a trooper.
I didn’t even believe her whenever she talked about marrying a man just for his money. She was just joking. I think.
“And Daddy’s working on a new real estate deal, did I tell you guys? I think it’s going to be big.”
Gross. “How many times do I have to tell you that a grown woman should never use the word Daddy? Unless it’s like a weird sexy roleplaying thing. Actually, scratch that. Doing it as part of sex just makes it worse. Especially if they’re having sex with their real daddy.”
Chastity shrugged. “I can’t help it. I’m a daddy’s girl.”
Madison and Chastity continued to debate the ethical implications of having a sugar daddy while I went back to my computer. Now that I’d thought about Sierra, I couldn’t stop myself from checking all her social media accounts. Yeah, I knew it wasn’t healthy. But what can I say? I had a sickness.
I typed “Sierra Vega” into Facebook and clicked on her.
And WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Her relationship status had changed to IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH JOE DICKSON.
I’d already thought they were together, but now it was Facebook official.
That was next level. And it was soul-crushing.
Like it actually felt like a brick had fallen from the ceiling right onto my chest.
I was over Joe. I didn’t want him back. I didn’t want to ever see him again.
But I hated that he was so happy with her and her big stupid eyes and perfect bone structure and huge boobs.
Why did he deserve happiness? He was the one that cheated on me.
And then blackmailed me with my freaking sex tape.
I should have been the one to find happiness while Joe got molested by a homeless dude.
“You okay, Ash?” asked Madison. “You look really pale.”
I barely heard her through the cloud of depression that surrounded me.
“Huh? I uh…” A knock on the door saved me from having to answer.
“That must be the pizza.” I wandered over to the door, still in a daze.
It barely even registered when I opened the door and the guy standing there didn’t have a pizza.
Not that I had even ordered one. Wait, no, I had. But this wasn’t it.
“Hey,” said Dr. Lyons.
“Fuck me!” I yelled involuntarily as I slammed the door in his face. Oh God, oh God, oh God. What is he doing here?! God, did I just ask him to fuck me? Stupid whore mouth!
“Did you just ask the pizza guy to fuck you?” called Chastity from across the room.
I took a deep breath and opened the door again. “Dr. Lyons,” I said calmly in a weirdly low professional voice. Stop being weird. “What brings you to my humble abode this evening?” What? Why am I talking like this? Don’t try to rape him this time!
“I wanted to talk. Is this a good time?”