Stalker Problems - Chapter 57 - House（boy） Arrest
“Tanner,” I said into the thick fabric of the bag. I couldn’t see a thing. And my hands had been tied again. Now we were in the back of a car. “Tanner?” The car made a quick turn and I slid slightly in my seat.
Chastity yelped as she slammed into me. “Ow.”
You’d think that Tanner’s minions would have been a little more careful with the goods. “Tanner,” I hissed. He wouldn’t just leave us alone with strangers, would he? But I guess whoever bagged us weren’t strangers to him.
I felt a hand on my thigh.
“Don’t go to Club Onyx again without me,” he whispered.
I’d recognize Tanner’s voice anywhere.
“You need a proper guide to…” his voice trailed off. “Just…promise me you won’t. Please, Ash.”
But he’d sent me the letter saying to go there if he disappeared. Maybe that was the whole problem though. He hadn’t disappeared and I’d gone anyway. And I’d taken everything too far. Way too far. God, I’d touched two penises for Christ’s sake! My stomach was twisted in knots. “I promise.”
His hand fell off my thigh as the car came to a stop.
Someone lifted me over their shoulder again.
“Tanner?”
But there was no response.
“Stop touching my ass!” Chastity yelled. It sounded like she was right next to me. Whoever was carrying her was definitely carrying me too. A huge bodyguard probably, because he was able to carry us both up a flight of stairs.
“I need to talk to Tanner,” I said.
No response. He continued climbing up and up and up. We were either going to a penthouse or some cheap ass apartment with no elevator.
We came to a stop and I heard a door open.
“Let us go,” I said and tried to wriggle my way out of his grip, but the man’s hand was super firm around the backs of my knees.
But he answered my pleas. Because he dumped us unceremoniously on something soft and tore the bag off my head.
We were sitting on…my couch? In my apartment?
Not a penthouse then. Where the hell was Tanner?
I’d thought he was taking me back to his place…
Damn it he tricked me! Although, I guess he’d never actually said we were going back to his place.
I just assumed because of all the sexual tension in the air that he wanted to be alone with me to ravish me.
But instead he’d just dropped me off at my place.
Wait…what the actual hell? How did he get in without a key?
“How did you get in here…” I demanded, but my voice trailed off.
Because the man standing in front of us looked nothing like I’d expected.
He was on the shorter side and decked out in lederhosen.
And the strangest part…he looked vaguely familiar.
I shook the thought away. There was seriously no way such a petite man could have fireman-carried us up to my apartment.
Unless he was magical or something. I just stared at his tiny little arms.
“You’re both in timeout,” he said. “Until you can learn to behave yourselves. Master is very upset with you.”
His British accent finally helped me place him. “Nigel?” I asked. Why was he wearing lederhosen?
“The houseboy?” Chastity’s muffled voice sounded underneath the bag on her head.
Nigel looked like he’d been caught in a lie. Which was weird because he hadn’t been.
“Yes,” he said. “I’m Nigel. A normal boy. Now shut your whore mouths!”
“Nigel!” I said. “You can’t talk to women like that.”
“Oh.” He wrung his hands together. “I’m sorry…I heard Master say it once. I thought it was some of the new lingo he always makes me study. But I’m behind on my lessons. I’m very busy.”
What the what?
“Who did Tanner say the whore mouth thing about?” Chastity asked. “Was there a whore at his apartment?”
Nigel took a step away from us like he was scared we might bite.
And I got a fantastic idea. Nigel had all the answers we needed.
“Scratch that question.” There were a million reasons why Tanner would tell someone to shut their whore mouths.
They were either a whore or saying something saucy.
I wasn’t concerned about that. Honestly, I wanted to start saying that more often.
Just like I’d recently started trying to add yas queen into my vocabulary. “Nigel, we need your help.”
He perked up. “I’m ready to serve.”
Weird. “First, can you please take the bag off Chastity’s head?”
“Who?”
Who else could I possibly be talking about? I nodded to Chastity on the couch next to me. “My friend over there.”
“Oh. Yes, for you, of course.” He hurried over and unbagged Chastity. He turned to me like he was waiting for his next order.
Chastity blew her bubblegum-colored bangs out of her eyes. And then she just stared at Nigel like he was an alien. It was probably the lederhosen throwing her off.
“Back to the help I need,” I said. “It’s about Tanner’s secret closet.” I could finally get the answers about how he’d made it.
Nigel’s eyes grew round. “No. You can’t go in there!” He shook his head back and forth.
“What, why?” I asked.
“Not unless you want to get burned.”
“What?” Chastity said. “I’ve been in there dozens of times already.”
Nigel gasped. “But you can’t. He’ll…it’ll…” He put his hand over his mouth.
“Are you scared of normal clothing or something?” I asked.
Nigel looked so confused. He looked down at his outfit and then back at me. “No?” He smoothed down his suspenders. “I like lederhosen. They’re very comfortable. You got a problem with that?”
“Not at all. You look quite dapper.”
He smiled to himself.
“Please just tell us how Tanner made that closet.” I nodded over to the bookcase that doubled as a secret entrance to my new closet.
“Oh.” He put his hand to his chest. “ That closet. I thought you meant his…” his eyes grew round again. “Stop talking. Both of you. Timeout! Those are the rules.”
“We’re grown women, Nigel.” Chastity batted her eyelashes at him. “You can’t put us in timeout. Now can you please untie us?”
It looked like Nigel was blushing. But then he frantically shook his head. “No.”
“Please?” she shimmied a little.
Nigel glanced down at her cleavage and then back at her face. “Never. I love to serve. But I only serve two men.”
I glanced at Chastity and then back to Nigel. “Two men? Who’s the other man besides Tanner?”
Nigel lit up at the mention of this other man. “Tanner’s best friend. I love serving him. Very much so.”
“Ah, Matt?” asked Chastity. “We’ve heard all about Tanner’s secret best friend. I’ve actually been dying to know more about him. Surely you can give us all the details about him.”
Nigel squinted at her. “Never.”
“But…can’t you tell us anything about him? Is he tall? Muscular? Handsome?”
Nigel squinted at her even more. It was a full-on glare now. “He’s all of the above. Not that it’s any of your concern, whoever you are.”
“Is his last name Caldwell?” she asked.
Please, God, no! If Tanner was best friends with Matthew Caldwell, I’d never be able to date him. It would just be way too freaking awkward. But I was dying to know the answer…
Nigel just glared at her.
Was that a ‘no’ or a ‘yes,’ Nigel? What did his glare mean?!
“Is he wealthy?” Chastity asked. “I bet he’s so wealthy. Nigel, please tell me everything about him. Maybe give us his address?”
Nigel slapped her across the face. “No! He’s mine!”
Chastity gaped at him.
“Nigel!” I said. “What has gotten into you?” I didn’t really know him that well. But he’d seemed so docile when he’d delivered the cookies.
Nigel pulled his hand back. “I mean…he’s…no. Don’t talk about Master Matthew. He’s not for you. I already have to share enough.” He took a step away from us, probably so he wouldn’t slap Chastity again. “Excuse me for a moment. I need to use the outhouse.” He scurried off.
“Outhouse?” I whispered. “What is up with him?”
“He clearly has a crush on Matt,” Chastity said.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I was talking about the outhouse thing. But yeah, his reaction to Matt was a little strong too.” I tried to wriggle out of my restraints. “Please tell me you found something out when you were with Karl.”
“No, I was going to learn all Tanner’s dirty little secrets after Karl was happily banged. That’s how that works. But Tanner rudely interrupted us. Like he knew what I was planning all along.”
“But you were with him for like…half an hour. How did you not find out anything?”
“I was building a rapport. But I did ask him the most important question of all. Single Girl Rule #22: Always make sure he’s 18.”
Damn it! I didn’t care if Karl was 18 or not. Well…actually I did. I didn’t want Chastity to go to jail. But the Tanner questions were equally important!
Nigel walked back into the room. He looked more composed now.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I wasn’t ready to converse because I wasn’t sure it was allowed.
But I just received more thorough instructions via my cellular device.
Let’s start over more formally. Master Tanner had to leave on important business, but he wanted me to watch you both so you didn’t do anything else naughty this evening. So…timeout. No more talking.”
He crossed his arms in front of his suspenders and leaned against the wall. I was pretty sure it was supposed to be intimidating. But…it certainly was not. He looked ridiculous.
“Nigel, I’m not going to do anything else crazy,” I said.
“Shh.”
“I swear. Please just untie us.”
“No can do. I’m following orders.”
“Come on, Nigel. At least come sit down and make yourself comfortable.” Despite what he said, his outfit looked wildly uncomfortable. Maybe it was just comfortable in comparison to his butler uniform. Either way, he should at least take a seat.
He slowly approached us. “You’re a very kind mistress.”
“Mistress? Is that what Tanner calls me?”
“Um…no. He calls you…babe? Sidepiece?”
What?!
He shook his head. “Baby Momma? No…girl.” He sighed. “I don’t know the words you people use. But I know that Master Tanner is very fond of you. And I can’t let anything happen to you.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet,” said Chastity.
He put his finger to her lips. “Hush, child. I don’t know who you are.”
She licked his finger.
He yelped.
Stop it, Chastity. Couldn’t she see that her flirtations weren’t working with this guy? “I have one more question. And then I swear we’ll both be quiet.”
“Splendid,” Nigel said. “What is it?”
“What’s Tanner’s secret?” Honestly he probably had too many secrets to count.
But I was hoping Nigel would just spill the biggest. The vampire one.
Because I’d had a lot of time to think this over on the ride back here with a bag on my head.
Angel had implied that Tanner was a one-night stand kind of guy.
And I was thinking that Tanner definitely had tons of one-night stands because that was all that was possible…
since he killed all the women he slept with right after he came.
It was genius really. Everyone loved a good snack after sex.
I preferred ice cream, but Tanner clearly preferred blood.
Sometimes I wanted something salty like cheese.
But never blood. Not even once. Vampire!
“Secretses?” Nigel shook his head. “No, we have none of those. We’re very normal boys.”
The fact that he’d just said that wasn’t normal.
“How about I draw the two of you a bath to help you calm down?”
Chastity laughed. “You want me and Ash to hook up in front of you, you little perv?”
“No. Baths are for relaxation purposes only. They’re not sexual. They’re soothing. Let me draw you one so you can see. And I’ll stay with you the whole time to make sure the temperature of the water stays consistent.”
That sounded very sexual to me. He wanted me and Chastity to bathe together? And he wanted to watch the whole time? “That’s okay, Nigel,” I said. “We don’t need to bathe.”
He shrugged. “Millennials.”
Really, a millennial dig? He looked the same age as us. What was his deal?
“How about some green juice then?” he asked. “I make a juice that will fix all your ailments. It should calm you both down. Maybe even put you to sleep.”
I was actually quite calm despite being tied up. A little less so now that it seemed like he wanted to drug us.
“We don’t have any ailments,” Chastity said. “Just questions.”
Nigel pretended to zip up his lips and then swallow the key. Which made no sense. None of what he did made any freaking sense.
But that was a good thing. Nigel was all over the place. And maybe if I started asking questions about something besides Tanner I could slowly trick him into giving us more information. “Do you know Ocelot?”
Nigel just stared at me.
“He was at Club Onyx tonight. Big hair. Kind of a diva vibe. Anyway, it seemed like he had a crush on Tanner. He even said he was in love with him.”
“He did?” asked Chastity.
I nodded and turned back to Nigel. “Is Ocelot in love with Tanner?”
Nigel rolled his little eyes. “Nonsensical. Ocelot is an odd little boy. He does not know the difference between love and in love with. Like…I love baths. I’m not in love with baths. Ocelot doesn’t understand the distinction. Although he does look like he appreciates a good bath.”
Okay. “So he isn’t in love with Tanner?”
“No. Ocelot is straight.”
“What? How is that possible? And why does everyone keep telling me that?”
Nigel ignored me.
Ocelot was the least of my concerns. “So Tanner isn’t dating Ocelot. Does Tanner have a bunch of women over to his apartment?”
No response.
“Do you ever see the same woman twice?” This response would surely confirm whether my vampire suspicions were accurate.
Would Nigel even tell me though? Because if Tanner was a vampire…
Nigel might be too. He did carry us both up all those stairs to my apartment.
If that wasn’t super vampire strength, I didn’t know what was.
“You wouldn’t understand,” said Nigel.
Answer my question, damn it! “Please.” I was desperate for information. And I could tell by Nigel’s guilty face that he had all the juicy gossip. Hmm. Was he a little gossipy? That could help. “Give me the deets you little slut.” Wow, that came out harsher than it sounded in my head.
Nigel stared at me.
“That juicy goss.”
Nigel frowned. “What is that?”
“Like…gossip. All the hot goss. A girl’s chat.”
“Oh.” He looked sad. “I can’t. I want to. But I can’t. I love the juicy goss. But you’re both supposed to be in timeout! Now you can both shut your whore mouths. And don’t you ever say Matthew’s name again.” Nigel put the bags back over our heads.
A few seconds later it sounded like the bath turned on. And I was terrified that he was either bathing in my tub or he was about to bathe me. Holy hell, who is this strange man?