This Is War - Chapter 16 – You Had Sex in Fifth Grade?! #2
“No.”
“No as in you’re fine? Or no as in…no, you’re not fine.” Madison sounded frantic.
“This is too confusing. I’m really okay. He’s not going to murder me.”
“What now?” asked Tanner.
“Madison thought that we had outed you as Rosalie’s murderer. And that you were coming to pick me up so that you could drive me out into the woods and chop me into little bits.”
“Aw man, how’d she figure it out so easily?” said Tanner. “I thought it was going to be the perfect murder.”
“Did he just confess?!” yelled Madison. “It sounded like he confessed!”
I put Madison and Chastity on speaker phone and Tanner told them everything he had just told me.
That seemed to calm Madison down enough to let Chastity have her phone back.
I thought for sure Chastity was gonna say she wanted to come.
But apparently her sky box date with her gentleman suitor had been rescheduled for tonight, so she hung up pretty quickly.
I was still curious about what the sky box was. Waiting until tomorrow to hear all about it was going to be torture. But maybe I wouldn’t have to wait. I mean…Tanner probably knew all about it. “Do you know what the sky box is?”
He raised his eyebrows. “I do. And all I can say is that I hope Chastity isn’t afraid of heights.”
“So she’s gonna have sex in a…helicopter?” My mind flashed back to my ride with the sausage king. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him.
“Why do you look so happy about that? Have you ever been in a helicopter?”
“Maybe. Does that mean I’m right?”
“That’s classified information.”
“You’re seriously not going to tell me?” I asked.
“Nope. The only way to find out what happens in the sky box is to go in the sky box. And I’m pretty sure the only challenge you’ve completed is the casino. Speaking of which…I got you a present.” He gestured to the back seat. “Go ahead and open the top compartment of your suitcase.”
“ My suitcase?” I looked back. There were two suitcases in the back. One was super cute with red flowers. The other was covered in all sorts of bright green zigzags.
“Yeah. I figured you wouldn’t want to be running around in your business clothes all weekend.”
“Whoa whoa whoa. All weekend?”
He gave me a funny look. “Of course we’re staying all weekend. What kind of crazy person would only go to a resort for one night?”
I stared at him. Part of me wondered if that photo of Rosalie had really been taken at this resort.
It was entirely possible that Tanner had just made it up to get me to agree to go on a romantic weekend getaway with him.
But if he thought he was going to win me back, he was dead wrong.
Just because he was super handsome and muscular and fun to be around, it didn’t mean I would come crawling back to him.
That would be insane. Or would it be insane not to?
“Aren’t you going to open your present?” asked Tanner.
Oh, right. I turned back to the suitcases. “Which one is mine?”
“Which one do you think is yours?”
“The green zig zags?” I joked.
“Oh yes. You know how I love my super feminine floral luggage.”
“It’s okay. Your secret is safe with me.” I opened the top pocket on the floral luggage and pulled out a little wrapped package about the size of one of those boxes of fancy assorted chocolates.
“You look grossed out,” said Tanner.
“Sorry. I was just thinking about how this box was the same size as those stupid chocolate variety packs.”
“You mean the ones where you have to eat all sorts of awful milk chocolate trash in order to get the one good dark chocolate turtle?”
“Yes!” He totally got me. “Those things make me so mad!” I pressed my lips together. No, Tanner did not get me. He didn’t know me at all. And he’d disappeared for three months like an ass hat.
“Oh. Then I guess you probably shouldn’t open that.” He sounded so disappointed.
My eyes got big. Had I seriously just insulted his gift?
What had I been thinking?! My mom had always told me that I was so good at receiving gifts.
No matter what she had gotten me, I’d always just plastered a smile on my face and pretended to be so excited.
Could I still backtrack and make him think I appreciated his gift?
“The thing I love about chocolate samplers is that the one dark chocolate turtle is so good that it makes up for all the trash chocolate. Not that your gift is trash…” I cringed at my own words.
Then Tanner started laughing. “This isn’t the first time someone’s told me I gave them a trash gift. But do you really think I got you a chocolate sampler? Why would I do that?”
I glared at him. Of course he had been messing with me. “I forgot how annoying you are.”
“Annoying, huh? In that case, I guess I should just take this back…” He reached over and tried to snatch the present out of my hand. I swatted his hand away.
“No takesie-backsies, mister. Didn’t anyone ever teach you any manners?”
“Nope. Now hurry up and open your present.”
I tore into the paper. I was relieved to see that the gift was not chocolates. Instead, it was a black box emblazoned in gold lettering on the lid. Jewelry? I opened the lid and nearly got blinded by the sun reflecting off the gold necklace inside.
“Try it on,” said Tanner.
I pulled it out and clipped it behind my neck.
Then I pulled down the mirror to check it out.
There were three gold chains all connected in the back.
One was kind of a choker, the next hung a little lower, and the third hung down between my breasts.
There was a charm on the end that looked like an old-fashioned coin.
I expected it to be etched with some Greek letters or something, but instead it featured the same dice symbol that had been on the key Cole had given me. “Why’s this on there?”
“To show which challenges you’ve completed. Once you get seven coins, you’ll be elevated to a gold member. If you don’t like it there are a bunch of other styles to choose from. I just thought this one would look best on you.” His eyes followed the necklace down between my cleavage.
“Eyes on the road, buddy.”
Tanner quickly averted his gaze.
I looked back down at the necklace. “I love it.” I really did. It was classy and sexy and super shiny. And the fact that Tanner had picked it out made it even more special. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
“I’m sorry again about what I said to you last weekend. I didn’t mean that I never wanted to see you again. I was just still mad at you for leaving.”
“You really don’t believe that I got kidnapped?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“But you saw me get bagged.”
“Mhm. I saw it. And I fell for it. I searched for you all freaking summer, Tanner. Luckily I talked to your friend Matt and he told me that you were just out of town on business.”
“Huh?”
“That’s right. Your best friend blew your cover.”
“Wow. Okay.” He pushed a few buttons on the built-in display and his car started calling Matt. As in Matthew freaking Caldwell. Who I set on fire. The incident flashed through my mind and I immediately started sweating profusely.
“Hey man,” said Matt. “What’s up?”
Hearing his voice made me want to scream. But also I suddenly wanted to jump out of the car and die. It was hard to choose which reaction was best. Instead I just stared in horror at the dashboard and pretended this wasn’t happening.
“Quick question. What did you say to Ash about me being gone the past few months?”
“Ash? As in the crazy girl who lit my dick on fire?”
Fuck my life. I needed to jump out into oncoming traffic immediately.
“That’s the one,” said Tanner.
I freaking knew that he knew about that!
I hadn’t been sure before…but now I was certain the flaming genie penis thing was him just messing with me.
Because he knew I set dicks on fire in my free time.
Why did he not tell me that he knew what I’d done to his best friend?
And why wasn’t he scared of me? I pulled my purse a little closer, happy that I’d remembered my mini fire extinguisher.
“I haven’t talked to her in months,” Matt said. “But her friend Chastity accosted me on the street and asked if I’d heard from you. She was very forward.”
Gah Chastity. Why had she hit on him right in front of his wife?!
“And what’d you tell her?” asked Tanner.
“Uhh…” Matt took a second to think about it. “I told her that sometimes you go abroad for long periods of time to close deals. Which is really getting annoying, by the way. You could at least give me some warning next time.”
“Sure thing. Maybe you could send me a voice message telling me that as your very best friend in the whole world it’s my duty to not leave town without telling you?”
Well that was oddly specific.
Matt laughed. “Hmm…that’s a good point. Rob has never left town without telling me first.”
“What does Rob have to do with this?” asked Tanner. “This is a conversation about best friend behavior.”
Matt laughed again. “I’m not gonna send you that voicemail to help you antagonize Rob. And I have to go. Let’s get together next week though. Later.” He hung up.
I stared at Tanner. “What was that supposed to prove? Other than that someone named Rob is definitely best friends with Matt.”
“No! You take that back. I’m Matt’s best friend.”
“I don’t believe you. Because you’re a liar. Matt even just confirmed it. He said you were away on business, just like he’d told Chastity.”
“Matt doesn’t know anything about DODO. So whenever I have to skip town to avoid DODO agents, I always tell Matt I’m away on business. He must have just assumed it this time.”
“So you admit that you skipped town?” I asked.
“Nope. I should have. I had a feeling that DODO was after me. But I went against my better judgment because I couldn’t imagine being away from you.” He tried to grab my hand, but I pulled away.
Was he serious right now? “You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes you are. You told me that DODO was an ancient all-powerful organization that was worse than a cartel. You really expect me to believe that they caught you and then just…let you go?”
“Yes. I still owe them a great debt, and I couldn’t exactly repay that debt while sitting in a prison cell in Morocco.”
“Morocco?”
He cleared his throat. “What? I didn’t say anything about Morocco. Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, DODO. They sent me back here so that I could repay my debt. And they specifically warned me not to get distracted.”
“Which means what?” But I had a feeling that I already knew.
“It means dating is off the table for me.”
Then why are you buying me jewelry and whisking me off on a romantic getaway and trying to hold my hand? I almost asked that, but then I realized I didn’t want to hear the answer. He was a crazy person. And I wasn’t here to flirt with him. I was here for Rosalie.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m not really interested in guys either.
” Shit! That made me sound like a lesbian.
“I mean I’m not interested in a serious relationship.
I’m all about that casual sex now. But not with people I know.
Strangers only.” Oh God what I am saying?
! “Anyway, let’s focus up. What’s the plan for finding info about Rosalie? ”
“Well, for starters, you need to change into something more camp-appropriate.”
“I assume that’s what’s in the suitcase?” I asked.
“It is.”
I reached back for my suitcase and someone handed me a bikini.
Wait, what?
I screamed at the top of my lungs. And then the person in the back screamed too.