Chapter 15 - Yulian
The car skids around corners as I drive like a madman to escape their territory.
My heart is racing with adrenaline. My palms are sweaty against the steering wheel.
I don’t think anyone saw me coming in, and I don’t think we’re being followed out, but I don’t want to take any chances.
And my adrenaline is more to do with her than being chased by anyone.
Seeing her face, finding her there outside her family's house, it spiked my anger, the hurt, the confusion.
“How could you betray me like that, Katerina? Why would you do that? I trusted you. I tried to give you everything you wanted. You didn’t even talk to me before you left.
You could have left a note, just letting me know you were done with me, that you were going—anything.
I was worried sick, thinking you needed help, only to find out you’d gone back to your brothers. ”
I’m furious. But it’s only a mask to hide the hurt she’s caused me.
My entire body is breaking down from stress and the idea that I lost her.
Today has been hell. I still don’t know if I have lost her or not.
My heart refuses to accept it, but my mind is plagued by logic.
She left. She went home. She didn’t even tell me.
She chose to walk away from me in a coldhearted betrayal.
She did that. It’s just the facts. Why, though?
My hands are gripped tightly around the steering wheel, my knuckles white with the force of it. We’re free of the Krolik territories and back in the city.
Katerina hasn’t spoken at all. She’s subdued, looking miserable.
Is she upset because I caught her again, because I’m forcing her to answer my questions?
Fair questions that I think I deserve answers to.
I was kind to her. I didn’t treat her badly.
I’m about to tell her this when I steal a look in her direction.
When I glance at her, I notice her hands shaking. It makes me pause, my foot easing off the accelerator for the first time since we drove away from her brother’s place. My heart clenches. She needs me.
“Kat?” I mutter, reaching out to touch her leg.
Her leg is shaking, too. Dammit. What’s going on? Is it because I shouted at her? Surely not. Did something happen at her brother’s home?
“Kat, kitten, are you okay?” I ask gently, brushing my hand over her.
She shakes her head. No. I reach out and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her against me. Her entire body is shaking uncontrollably. She’s in shock or overwhelmed. She’s struggling, and I’ve just been laying into her with my anger without even realizing that she’s numb and suffering.
Deciding that the mansion is too far away, I change course and head towards my penthouse, which is right around the corner. She needs me now. She doesn’t need to be sitting in a car, driving through town. I want to talk to her, face to face. Not like this.
“We’ll be home soon, kitten. Just hang in there,” I say gently, kissing the top of her head.
I park underground and climb out of the car in a hurry, walking to her side. She climbs out in silence, letting me take her hand and lead her from the parking garage into the building.
In the elevator leading up to the penthouse, she stands quietly, her eyes looking hollow and empty. She’s been crying. Her cheeks are patchy pink, and her eyes are shaded red from it.
She is a shell of herself. A lost little girl, trying to deal with something that I don’t yet understand.
It breaks my heart, and I carefully pull her towards me, lifting her into my arms and cradling her against my chest. She doesn’t fight me. Instead, she nuzzles her face into the warmth of my neck and closes her eyes.
I carry her into the penthouse, to the bedroom, and set her down on the bed.
She sits on the edge while I untie her shoes and pull them gently off her feet. Then I lift her again and pull the blankets back, setting her beneath them and pulling them up over her.
“Close your eyes for a bit. Rest. I’ll make some tea. Do you want something to eat?”
“Just tea,” she answers softly, rolling onto her side.
“I’ll be right back, kitten. I promise.” Stroking my hand over her forehead, down her back, and through her long golden blonde hair, my heart aches for her. I hope she tells me what’s going on. I want to help her, if she’ll let me.
In the kitchen, I hum. It’s not something I usually do, but it’s my way of reassuring her that I’m close. That I’m here for her.
The kettle boils, and I stand with my hands pressed against the counter, my head busy, but my heart focused on her.
I pour boiling water into a mug, then drop a tea bag into it. Dark sepia stains leak slowly from the dried herbs inside the neat little cream-colored bag, a swirling, gentle pool of tea that sets a subtle aroma in the air.
I add one sugar and a splash of milk, then remove the tea bag and head towards the bedroom.
Katerina is curled up into a ball. She’s lying on her side beneath the blanket, with it pulled up high over her cheeks. Her legs are bent up against her chest, and she’s as small as she can possibly be in the massive bed.
Setting the teacup on the bedside table, I sit down next to her, leaning my back against the headboard, and pull her gently into my arms.
At first, she’s stiff, trying to stay in her own protective little ball, but after a while, the muscles of her body ease and release some of their tension, and she snuggles against my side with her cheek resting on my chest.
I don’t push her to speak to me. And I don’t speak to her. When she’s ready, I’m here for her. That’s all she needs to know.
Slowly, I trace my fingers through her hair, down her back, over and over again, brushing out the knots with my fingers, and letting my touch soothe over her.
Time passes without me counting the seconds. All I care about is that I have her here in my arms.
That she’s with me. It’s the only thing that matters to me. I want to keep it this way.
Eventually, Katerina stirs and lets out a soft sigh.
I lift my arm from around her as she sits up, blinking a few times, biting her lower lip as she glances at me. She rubs her eyes as though they are tired or dry.
“Your tea might need to be warmed up,” I smile.
She shakes her head, repositioning herself so that she’s also sitting with her back against the headboard. She pulls her knees towards herself and crosses her legs beneath the blanket.
“It’s okay, I like it like this,” she says, reaching for her lukewarm tea and sipping it.
I watch her, her delicate movements, the way she licks her lips after tasting the tea.
I have all the time in the world for this perfect little creature.
Kat sighs and smiles tightly at me. “I’m sorry I left as I did,” she says, blinking as she looks away. She sets her tea down.
“It’s okay, talk to me, tell me what’s going on,” I encourage her.
She fidgets with the edge of the blanket, nervously.
“I thought if I could see Artur alone, not with my other brothers, that I could explain things to him. I thought, maybe, I could negotiate some kind of alliance between our families.”
“You really wanted that?” I ask, surprised.
“Yes, Yulian. I’ve seen a lot while I’ve been with you.
I don’t believe the things my uncle told everyone about your family.
I think…I think he was lying.” She lets out a sharp breath.
“I mean, about who you are. I know…I know his death—anyway, it doesn’t matter.
My point is that I’ve come to understand that he might have been the bad guy.
I never really liked him. It’s hard to say that out loud, because it feels like I’m betraying my brothers, but apparently, I’m pretty good at that these days. ”
“Hey, don’t talk about yourself like that, kitten. You were doing something that you felt was right. You were trying to stand up for something you believed. You should be proud of yourself for that,” I smile, brushing my hand over her cheek.
Her eyes soften.
“Did your brother listen to you?” I ask, hopeful.
“No, the opposite. He spoke over me, making me feel like a horrible person. All of them kind of cornered me and lectured me together. It went terribly. And then…they told me they have arranged a marriage for me. Some guy called Mikhail. They are going ahead with the plans now.”
Her voice trails off in disbelief and shock. So this is what was making her shake so horribly. Her brothers are basically selling her off to fulfill their Bratva goals, to make themselves stronger. It’s disgusting. How could they do that to her?
“They’re using you as a tool,” I mutter angrily.
“A tool to help my family, yes,” she nods.
“Your entire family should be against this if you aren’t doing it willingly. This is your life, Kat. No one should have that much control over your life.”
“I know, but what can I do?” she shrugs, tears glittering in her beautiful eyes.
“I don’t know…but I’ll figure out something. There has to be something,” I argue.
“My brother has made up his mind. I’ve never seen him like this before. So determined. So angry with me. I don’t think it matters what I want. It never mattered before. With my fashion design, it got set aside. The family needs always come before the individual’s.”
She slowly leans over towards me again, sliding across the headboard and resting her head on my shoulder. I drape my arm around her and pull her close. She snuggles deeper into me, warming my heart.
Kat silently lies against me. My head is spinning.
Helplessness floods me. I can’t let them do this to her, her dreams snuffed out, her life stolen from her.
She won’t have freedom or happiness. She’s being sold off to the highest bidder by her own brothers, and they don’t care what it’s doing to her.
I refuse to let this happen.
Apart from the fact that it’s not fair to her…it’s not something I can personally accept. I want her. I need her. She’s everything to me, even if she doesn’t understand that yet. How will I live my life knowing she’s married to someone else? No.
This isn’t happening.
But I also won’t take away her freedom to choose.
Kat sleeps in my arms, and I watch her while I plan. She deserves the world, and I intend to be the one to give it to her.