Chapter 18 - Katerina #2
In the center of the garden park is a ring of trees, grown in a special way so that they form a dome.
When you step into this dome, you are stepping into a fairytale world.
It’s massive, and every single tree is decorated with soft, warm fairy lights that flicker and glimmer around us like a million bright stars.
I stare in disbelief for a moment, unable to take it all in.
Yulian laughs at my wide-eyed surprise and takes my hand to lead me towards a bench.
Sitting there, I’m in awe of him. He’s chatting happily about how proud he is of me, and I’m just staring at this beautiful man, wondering how he became this thoughtful and patient and kind, wondering if he’s like this with everyone, or if it’s just me?
And why me? Why does he do so many sweet things for me?
Suddenly, I can’t hold the question back, and it blurts out unfiltered. “Why do you spoil me so much, Yulian?” I ask.
He chuckles. “I’m not spoiling you, not really. I’m just happy when you’re happy, Katerina. I want to see you smile.”
“It’s been a difficult few days,” I sigh. “And I really appreciate it. I appreciate everything you do for me, Yulian. Thank you.” My heart spins as I think about kissing him again.
His warm, chocolate-brown eyes lift up towards me, but he’s not smiling anymore. He sets his half-eaten dessert on the bench next to us and turns fully towards me. “Katerina, I met with your brother today,” he says, his voice tense.
“You met with Artur? When, what happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” I say in shock.
“He called me. I went to speak to him on neutral ground, but it didn’t go well.”
Yulian tells me everything that happened, and I sit quietly, sinking into myself.
So that’s why he really took me for dinner.
It wasn’t to celebrate. It was because he needed to soften the blow of this news.
He just wanted to ease my disappointment.
My brother is hell-bent on making me marry that stranger, and it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to see it any other way.
All of the hope drains from me, and all of the fluttering butterflies that were growing towards Yulian and his romantic date night fade, too.
This wasn’t a date. It was a pity party for me.
The same reason he’s offering to marry me—out of pity.
“Please, will you take me home?” I whisper, unable to bear it for another second.
“Are you sure?” Yulian stammers, disappointment in his voice.
“I’m sure. I want to go home,” I insist.
Yulian doesn’t argue, and we leave the beautiful starry tree dome and walk heavy-footed back to the car.
I don’t let him hold my hand this time, because I don’t want someone giving themselves to me out of pity.
It’s the last thing I want. I don’t need to be saved from my own troubles. They are mine to bear. Not Yulian’s.
When we get home, I head straight upstairs to shower and get into my sweatpants. What’s the point of wearing a cheerful dress when my heart is miserable?
I don’t go to bed, though. I can’t stand to face Yulian. So instead I go upstairs to the top floor to sit on the balcony in the cold night air and watch the pale sky, filled with stars.
I sit there for almost an hour with my misery weighing heavier and heavier on my shoulders. I hate that he pities me. I hate that he feels sorry for me.
I keep almost believing he’s the right man for me, but then reality sneaks in and shows me the truth.
I won’t force someone to be with me to save me.
I decided that already. It’s not going to change.
But I hate that he lied to me about why he took me out.
He should at least have the balls to be honest with me about things.
These looping thoughts aren’t doing me any good. I should go to bed. But how can I sleep with these things on my mind?
Sighing, I stand up and walk quietly down to our bedroom. Yulian is in bed. The lights are off. It’s quiet in here. But when I walk in, he reaches out, giving me a fright, and flicks the bedside light on.
“Are you okay, kitten?” he asks gently. I’m standing at the foot of the bed, my eyes on him, my heart racing.
I didn’t intend to confront him tonight. But seeing as he’s asked, I decide I should be honest.
“I’m really mad at you,” I huff.
“You are?” he asks, surprised, sitting up to face me.
“I don’t want your pity, Yulian. I don’t need anyone feeling sorry for me.
And next time you have bad news to give me, just give it to me.
You don’t need to treat me like some delicate thing that needs to be told things carefully.
There was no reason for the whole dinner charade to soften the blow of the news from my brother.
It was over the top, and it makes me feel like you think I’m weak. ” There. I said it.
I fold my arms across my chest, hugging myself, biting my lower lip.
Yulian climbs out of bed and walks to the end of it to wrap his arms around me. I keep mine folded, protecting myself, still biting my lip.
“Katerina, I think many things of you. But weak? Not a chance. I didn’t take you out to dinner to soften anything. I took you out to celebrate. I took out because I love spending time with you,” he says, his eyes locked with mine.
“But. You feel sorry for me. I mean, that’s why you’re offering to marry me, to save me from this mess. I don’t want you to treat me—”
Yulian starts laughing. A loud, genuine, hearty rumble that vibrates against me.
I scrunch my nose and glare at him.
“Katerina, kitten, little princess—I want to marry you. For real. There is no agenda there. No hidden meaning behind those words. I want to marry you. You are the perfect woman for me. Your brother and his bullshit can go to hell. Damn him and the trouble he’s causing, because I know, without a doubt, that I can treat you better than any man he chooses for you.
I can take care of you, Katerina. I can make you so happy. ”
The shock shoots through me like a blade.
“Are you serious?” I stammer, stepping back slightly, stunned by his confession.
“I thought you knew how I felt. I know I didn’t tell you so bluntly before, but I was trying to give you the space to make up your own mind about things.
Your freedom is important to you, I understand that, and I won’t get in the way of you deciding for yourself.
But, Katerina, I am obsessed with you. Completely and utterly obsessed.
You are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever met, inside and out.
A brilliant mind, a brilliant heart, and a beautiful soul.
You are everything I could ever dream of. ”
“This is…” I stammer, trying to find the words. “This is…. “
“A lot?” he chuckles.
I nod, smiling, relieved that he understands. That he can still smile at me even though I’m not leaping into his arms after his confession. Yulian pulls me close again and hugs me. He whispers in my ear.
“I know it’s a lot. And nothing’s changed. Just because I told you all of that doesn’t mean I’m now going to force an answer out of you. When you’re ready, I will be here. I told you I’d wait for you, Katerina. No matter how long you need. I’m waiting for you.”
“Thank you, Yulian,” I murmur quietly. I’m completely overwhelmed by his truth.
I can’t believe that’s how he felt this whole time, and I was holding back because I didn’t want him to make sacrifices for me.
What does all of this mean now?
How do I face my brother now?
My heart is running wild in my chest, and the choices I have to make just go so much more intense.