35. Ruby
35
RUBY
“You look beautiful, Ruby.” My dad comes into the hotel room where I’ve been getting ready, his eyes gleaming with tears.
I face him in my wedding dress, feeling like his little princess all over again.
As a child, my dad always read books to me at bedtime. He would make a den in the corner of my room with cushions on the floor, blankets thrown across the backs of chairs, and tiny lanterns turning everything golden. This was where my love of books developed, during those evenings spent listening to my dad reading aloud fairy tales about glass slippers and fairy godmothers and charming princes.
Funny how the feel of the wedding gown swishing around my legs has taken me back to those special moments. I can still see the images in my favorite book, and now, here I am, playing the part of the princess in my own happy-ever-after.
“You look amazing too, Dad.”
He stands still while I straighten his tie, his eyes on me, a smile tugging his lips upward. “I’ve missed this, Ruby, you fussing over my tie like a mother hen.”
I stand back and check that it’s straight and neat. “You loosened it on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Am I that predictable?” He looks so forlorn, so wide-eyed and innocent like a child, that I throw my arms around him, careful not to make him lose his balance.
“Hey, what’s that for? You’ll crumple your dress.”
“You’re worth getting crumpled for, Dad.”
“How can I argue with that?” I give him a twirl while he admires the wedding gown. “There were times when I never thought that I would get to do this for my little girl.”
“No, Dad. No sad thoughts today. Only happy ones.”
“That’s probably the easiest thing anyone has ever asked me to do.” He offers me his arm, and I take it. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
We could’ve made a grand entrance down the sweeping staircase in the building, but I wanted to make it as comfortable as possible for my dad, so instead, we walk slowly to a wide door and take a deep breath. Harry is waiting on the other side for me. Our friends and families will have taken their seats, waiting for the door to open, handkerchiefs ready to dry their eyes if they’re anything like me.
Only two people will be missing: my mom and Harry’s dad.
My mom stopped calling the office a week ago. Karl went AWOL after his trip to Chicago when I overheard him talking to my mom in my hospital room. Harry doesn’t think that they’re together, but the past six weeks have been such a whirlwind that I haven’t even had a chance to think about them.
I’m sad my mom won’t get to see me in my dress, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that my mom isn’t the person I thought she was, and the real Celia Jackson doesn’t deserve to be the mother of this bride.
Music strikes up on the other side of the door, and I reach up to kiss my dad’s cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you too, sweetheart.” He trembles as the door opens, and we step into the salon where I will shortly become Mrs. Weiss.
I never thought that I would be this nervous on my wedding day but seeing Harry in his tailored silver-gray suit at the front of the room with his best man Ronnie standing next to him, everything that we’ve done since we met flashes before my eyes like I’m drowning. The skating rink, Harry’s hospital room, Edinburgh, the pizza picnic. It feels like I’ve only known him for a few minutes, and it feels like I’ve known him for a lifetime.
I walk on autopilot. I don’t see the faces of the people in the seats on either side of the aisle. I’m waiting for the moment when Harry turns around to face me, and when he does, when I see his beautiful smile, my heart almost jumps out of my chest.
Without knowing how I got there, my dad hands me over to my soon-to-be-husband, kisses my cheek, and stands aside with Ronnie.
I glance at Harry, and our eyes meet. “Okay?” he mouths, and I nod. I’m grinning and I know my cheeks are going to ache like crazy later, but I can’t stop myself.
This is it.
We repeat our vows in front of the celebrant, and I don’t remember a word of them. All I can feel is Harry’s arm brushing mine. All I can hear is my heartbeat playing its own exciting tune.
Then, we’re walking back down the aisle to the banquet hall where we’ll greet our guests with glasses of champagne, and eat food that I won’t taste, and dance to music that I won’t hear. For a few minutes, we’re alone in the hall, and Harry holds me close to his chest and kisses my lips. “I love you, Mrs. Weiss.”
“I love you, Mr. Weiss.”
“Did I tell you how beautiful you are?”
“Once or twice.”
I lean against him, and I know that I never have to be nervous again because Harry is the rock that will hold me up, the sunshine on rainy days, the star that will never go out.
“You look pretty good too.”
“Why thank you.” He leans closer and whispers in my ear, “How’s my baby?”
“She’s doing just fine.”
“She?” His eyebrows slide upwards. “What if it’s a boy?”
“He’ll look just like his dad, and I’ll have two of you to keep on track.”
The guests start filing into the banquet hall, and the day becomes a blur of speeches, toasts, and congratulations. I clap when I’m supposed to, kiss people’s cheeks when they tell me what a beautiful couple we make and talk without thinking about what I’m saying. I feel dazed, like this is all a dream, and I’ll wake up in my bedroom at home and realize that I fell on the skating rink in Chicago and imagined the whole thing.
“Breathe,” my dad says. He’s sitting next to me at the top table, and I realize that I’ve barely paid attention to him since he handed me over to Harry in the salon.
“Is it that obvious?”
“You’re still my little girl, Ruby. No one knows you like I do.”
Harry will, I think. Harry will know me better than my dad does in time, but then perhaps Harry sees a different Ruby to the one my dad sees. Perhaps I can be everything to both these men at the same time. This thought makes me feel even luckier than I already do.
Harry and I cut the cake together, his warm hand on mine.
Then we move through to the room where the band is already playing music to welcome our guests. Harry, still holding my hand, leads me onto the dance floor.
“Harry, what are you doing?” I whisper.
“It’s our first dance.”
“But…” I never thought about it. All the preparations I made over the past six weeks, all the choices I had to make for food, wine, flowers, and seating plans, I totally forgot to include the first dance on my many lists.
Harry stands in front of me, his eyes gleaming. “Do you trust me?”
“Ye-es.”
“Then follow me, Ruby. I have it all under control.”
The music plays, ‘The Lady in Red’ by Chris de Burgh, a song that we listened to together in a restaurant in Edinburgh, and Harry’s hand slides around my waist. He whirls me around the dance floor, our eyes locked, and my body moves instinctively with his. I never knew he could dance like this, and by the time the song ends, I’m literally breathless.
We stop in front of my dad who is watching us with tears in his eyes, and I realize that Harry did this as much for him as for me.
“How did you…? You never said you could dance like that.”
“I couldn’t.” Harry’s smile is wider than I’ve ever seen it. “I’ve been having lessons.”
“When? How did I not know about this?”
“Lunch breaks, after work some evenings. It’s my wedding gift to you, Ruby. I know I’ll never be as good as your dad, but, well, I tried.”
I kiss Harry, and my dad is on his feet, pulling us both unsteadily into a hug. “You looked amazing on that dance floor, Ruby. Just like I always knew you would.”
“Oh, Dad.” Tears fill my eyes, and my dad catches them on his fingertip.
“No sad thoughts today, remember? Only happy ones.”
“That’s just it. They are happy ones.”
There’s only one more thing that I need to complete the day. I keep scanning the room, searching for a glimpse of a familiar face. I sent an invitation. I explained how much it would mean to Harry, but still, I don’t know if it’s going to happen, and I’ll be gutted if it doesn’t. What else do you give the man who has everything?
Especially when he learned to dance for me.
The evening is ticking by. I dance with Ronnie and Carlos and other friends of Harry’s whose names I can barely remember. Donna and Bill flew from the UK specially for the wedding, and I squeal when I notice the swollen belly beneath Donna’s dress. “You’re pregnant!”
“Why do you think we ran away to Gretna to get married?”
We have so much to catch up on, but my dad joins us, and I can see how tired he is. I escort him outside and cling to him with the starry sky twinkling down on us, while we wait for the car to take him back to the rehabilitation center.
“See you when I get back from my honeymoon, Dad.”
It feels like I’m leaving him for the first time. Like this is way harder and heavier than packing a bag and flying to the UK with a man I barely knew. It feels like goodbye, and suddenly, I don’t feel ready.
The tears, once they start flowing, don’t seem to want to stop. It’s hormones, I know, but how do you stop them when every emotion is heightened a hundred times because your body is growing a baby?
“Don’t forget to send a postcard.” He climbs into the back of the car that Harry organized to take him and his caretaker back to the center.
I watch the vehicle disappear into the traffic. The night air chills my bare shoulders, pinching me back to reality, and I wave at a passing limo as it toots its horn at me, a young Hispanic guy poking his head through the sunroof and blowing me kisses. I laugh at him as the car carries him away.
Will I ever get used to this crazy city and this surreal way of life that Harry is accustomed to? I feel like a fraud. I’m just a girl from Chicago standing outside a swanky building on a busy Manhattan street, wearing the kind of gown all little girls dream of wearing when they marry their prince.
I’m just Ruby Jackson.
“Hello, Ruby. I’m guessing I should call you Ruby Weiss now?”
I didn’t realize that I said the words out loud until the voice catches me unawares. I turn around, and my heart performs somersaults. “You came.”
“I wasn’t going to.” Melanie shrugs. “I didn’t even pack my suitcase until this morning.”
“What changed your mind?” I grab her hand, scared that she’ll slip away again without Harry ever knowing that she was here.
“You did. You love my brother, and really, that’s all I ever wanted for him. To be loved. And then I thought of all the years I’ve missed, and it made me realize that I was being selfish staying away all this time, no contact, no messages to let him know that I was still alive.”
“No. I don’t think you’ve been selfish.”
Melanie’s smile is all Harry. “I hope you never lose this ability to see the good in people, Ruby. I have been selfish. What happened between our parents wasn’t Harry’s fault, but I punished him anyway when I should’ve been looking out for him.”
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
I go to walk back inside with her, but Melanie stops me. “How do you think he’ll react?”
“Honestly? You’ll make his day complete.”
“There you go again, thinking the best of everyone, and forgetting about all the years of catching up I have to do.”
“You’re both different people now, Melanie. You can start fresh, draw a line under what passed before.” I link my arm with hers. “Come on. Let’s do this.”
I spot Harry across the room when we enter, deep in conversation with Carlos Russo and his wife, the Italian’s booming laughter rising above the music and turning the joyful atmosphere in the room up a notch. Harry has his back to us and doesn’t see us approaching until we’re standing right behind him. Carlos raises his eyebrows, nudging him in our direction.
My heart skips a beat when Harry turns around, his gaze hopping between me and his sister, and his wide smile tells me all I need to know.
Harry Weiss is the happiest man on the planet, and he’s all mine.